Where the Allegheny Meets the Monongahela (32 page)

hours, Nick was momentarily at a loss for words. After a centering

breath, he sat up straight, hoping to appear unruffled. ―We‘re good

friends.‖ Not wanting to delay the inevitable, he added, ―And lovers.‖

No surprise showed on Trudy‘s face as she ground out, ―I see.‖

Fully aware of a counselor‘s usual bag of tricks, Nick expected the

silence that ensued and did nothing to fill it. Trudy eventually broke it

by asking, ―And how long has this been going on?‖

When he paused to do the calculation, Nick was shocked at the

answer. ―Three weeks—almost to the day.‖
Only three weeks. How is

that possible?
If he‘d answered without thinking, Nick would have said

a lifetime. He felt like a different man from the one who‘d walked

soaking wet into Dave Acken‘s shop that Sunday morning several

weeks earlier.

―If you only crossed that line three weeks ago, why didn‘t you

ever tell me that you two—‖

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195

―I didn‘t understand…,‖ Nick interrupted. ―I mean, I was

confused.‖

―Confused?‖ Trudy fumed. ―Confused about what? How long it

would take to seduce him?‖

Unable to restrain a snarl, Nick shot back, ―It wasn‘t like that. I

had no intention…. Fuck, I thought he was straight.‖

―Right up until three weeks ago?‖ Trudy‘s words dripped with

skepticism.

―No,‖ Nick snapped. ―I thought he was straight up until five

weeks ago.‖

―When you made a pass at him?‖

―Yeah, sure. Right after he grabbed me and kissed me.‖

Trudy‘s face at last showed surprise—bordering on shock.

―
Logan
kissed you? Right out of the blue?‖

―Yes,‖ Nick hissed.

―And you responded by…?‖

―I… uh… I… kissed him back.‖ Wanting to end the interrogative

nature of the questioning, Nick added, ―If you want any more details,

you‘ll just have to wait ‘til my autobiography comes out. Suffice it to

say, we kissed, nothing more happened for a couple of weeks, and

then….‖

―And then, you decided to take advantage of the situation?‖

―No! I didn‘t decide anything. It just happened. And I am not the

one—‖ Nick stopped abruptly, shutting that thought down before it had

a chance to fully form.

Her interest obviously piqued, Trudy asked curiously, ―You‘re

not the one? Meaning Logan is? He took advantage of
you
?‖

―He‘s not—nobody took advantage of
anybody
, okay?‖ Frustrated

and tired of being on the defensive, he adroitly flipped the subject

around by saying, ―What I was going to say was, I‘m not the one who

missed all the signs from
my
patient. That‘s why you‘re really pissed

off, Trudy, isn‘t it?‖ From her sharp intake of breath, Nick knew he‘d

scored a direct hit. He thrust the knife in a little deeper by adding,

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―What happened, were you out the day they covered ‗latent

homosexuality‘ in Psych 101?‖

Trudy bit her lip as she resettled in her seat. After a moment spent

visibly composing herself, she cocked an eyebrow at him, admitting, ―I

guess I deserved that.‖

After a brief pause, Nick leaned back, saying evenly, ―I guess you

did.‖

―But I don‘t think that‘s what you were going to say.‖ Nick

refused to give her the satisfaction of confirming her supposition, and

he was wholly unprepared when she leaned forward and said, ―Nick, do

you think Logan is the only one I‘m concerned about in all of this?‖

While he was still parsing that question, Trudy added, ―What about

you? With your history, have you given any thought to the
implications

presented by this relationship?‖

Nick closed his eyes while he slumped to the side and ran a hand

through his hair, murmuring, ―You‘re better at this than me.‖

―Better at what?‖

―Throwing your patient off balance.‖

―You‘re not my patient.‖

Nick‘s head shot up, and he grabbed for his victorious moment.

―Exactly.‖

Trudy did not appear discomfited in the least. ―But I think you

should be
someone’s
patient.‖

―Oh, God, not this again,‖ Nick groaned. ―I thought we closed

this subject years ago. And I availed myself of therapy in graduate

school, as you full well know.‖

―Six sessions, Nick. How much do you achieve with a client in

six sessions?‖

―We‘re not having this discussion again. We‘re not,‖ Nick

insisted through gritted teeth. ―If you want to ream me out because you

think that I interfered in Logan‘s therapy, then do it.‖

―Okay, let‘s talk about that. You still haven‘t explained why you

concealed the friendship from me back when that‘s all it was.‖

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197

―I told you, I was confused because….‖

―Because some part of you knew something was up back then—

whether you admitted it to yourself or not. And once it did start, what

did you think was going to happen? Were you just going to let this man

go back to his wife, knowing what that might mean for her?‖

―I was trying not to let that happen. I kept telling Logan that if he

went back to Linda, he might end up hurting her again physically—and

he‘d sure as hell hurt her emotionally.‖ Nick shrugged sadly, asserting,

―The rest was up to him.‖

There was no immediate answer as Trudy mulled his response

over. She mused quietly, ―That must be why he told me…,‖ before

resuming her lecturing voice and steely glare. ―Do you realize how

much damage we‘ve already done to Linda? How much worse the truth

is going to be now that her hopes have been raised?‖

―I didn‘t want it to get this far,‖ Nick sighed.

―But you let it happen. You‘re absolutely right, I blindly ignored

all of the signs, and it was Logan‘s place to tell me, or his wife. But

when none of that happened, you,‖ Trudy wagged a finger at him,

―should have felt some obligation to step in.‖ In a softer, searching

tone, she asked, ―Tell me, how does the Nick Zales
I know
not do

everything in his power to keep an abused woman from further harm?‖

A shroud of sorrow and shame fell over Nick at the question, and

he couldn‘t answer without losing composure; the only reply he could

manage was a shake of his head while reaching for the cup of coffee

perched on the edge of Trudy‘s desk.

The softer voice stayed as Trudy prodded, ―What was going on in

your life three to four weeks ago, Nick?‖ She supplied the answer

herself, saying, ―You were letting Norah go, you had just taken on two

demanding new patients, and worst of all, your mom was very ill.‖

Hearing concern but feeling condescension, Nick slammed the

mug back down, blurting angrily, ―None of that has anything to do

with—‖ He paused for a deep breath before calmly insisting, ―I know

what you‘re suggesting, but it wasn‘t poor judgment ‘cause my head

wasn‘t on straight, Trudy.‖

―Then what was it?‖

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―It was….‖ How to explain what he couldn‘t understand himself?

While Nick was still foundering, Trudy crisply interrupted his

thoughts with, ―You should take some time to think it over.‖

Nick‘s eyes locked with Trudy‘s as he asked, ―Meaning what?

You‘re suspending me?‖

―I don‘t want to, and I won‘t have to if you‘ll take the FMLA we

talked about last week.‖

There didn‘t seem to be much choice in the matter. ―For how

long?‖

―Why don‘t we talk in, say, two weeks and see how much life has

stabilized for you? I hope you‘ll spend the time wisely.‖

―Which in your mind means ‗not with Logan‘. Right?‖

―Frankly, yes. As you‘ve pointed out, you‘re not my patient—but

he is. I‘m going to suggest he spend some time alone, getting his own

house in order; first on his agenda has to be an honest talk with Linda.‖

Trudy paused and leaned forward, her hand stretching across the desk.

―And Nick? I think you‘ve got some things to take care of, too.‖

―And what do I tell my clients?‖

―The truth. You‘re taking a short leave of absence to deal with

some personal matters and you‘ll see them when you get back. Anyone

who can‘t wait, well, Tracey and I can help them.‖ For the first time all

morning, Trudy smiled. ―You need to take care of yourself. Then you

can go back to taking care of others.‖

Nick stood and stretched, dolefully mumbling, ―Okay, that‘s a

plan.‖

He gathered his file folders and took his leave, turning back when

Trudy said, ―I know therapy is a sore subject, but
please
think about

what I said.‖ He nodded his assent, since he would be brooding about

her nagging suggestion for the rest of that day—though that was all he

intended to do about it.

After glumly sitting behind his closed office door for a quarter of

an hour, a stone-faced Nick finally mustered up enough energy to

inform the office manager, who doubled as HR rep for ACC, of his

intention to take some FMLA time. He stoically bore Janice‘s coo of

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199

concern as she found the necessary forms but escaped as soon as he

could. Walking out to his Jeep with leaden steps, Nick burned with

shame, feeling that he‘d failed—failed Trudy, his clients, his calling,

and yeah, maybe even Logan.

NEVER before had Logan been so glad to be handed an ass-busting

assignment. Right after he‘d clocked in on Monday morning, Mack had

informed him that they were short-handed and Logan would be

unloading two tractor-trailers of merchandise by himself. Mid-October

was a busy time at Scott‘s Garden Center. Out front, customers were

loading up on Halloween decorations while in the back, all the winter

paraphernalia was being staged so it could be whisked into place on

November 1st. Logan accepted the job without complaint, since staying

as busy as possible seemed the best antidote to the fury still burning in

his gut.

Though his hands were fully occupied, the work didn‘t really stop

Logan from dwelling on his list of grievances against Nick. His anger

hadn‘t abated one bit since their fight the night before—quite the

reverse. New complaints occurred to Logan with each box that he

wheeled into the warehouse.
He wouldn’t listen, would he? I told him

what a bad idea it was, goin’ to that fuckin’ diner, but no, Nick know-

it-all Zales had to have it his way. Him and his precious fuckin’

landmark.

Logan grunted as he shoved a box into place on an upper shelf

and the sound almost turned to a moan when he spied the label.
Holly-

Daze 4-pak Christmas Ornaments
. He couldn‘t help but think of his

promise to Krista and Meghan that their dad would be back home by

Christmas. A promise that was shattered now, all thanks to Mr. I-

Cannot-Tell-A-Lie.

A quick glance at the huge warehouse clock told Logan that it

was after nine a.m. already. Nick‘s meeting with Trudy was probably

over, and Logan‘s fate was sealed.
Hope he’s happy….
As Logan

continued to grouse to himself, an insidious thought occurred to him.

Maybe Nick really was happy about this turn of events; maybe he‘d

had planned it all along.
Smart guy like Nick, he had to know how

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dangerous it was for the two of us to go waltzin’ into The Liberty Grill.

Yeah, sure, Nick’s been tryin’ to get me to come clean to Trudy, and

now he’s fixed it so I don’t have a choice.

The rest of the morning passed slowly for Logan as he finished

unloading the trucks, mired in a fog of resentment. At 1:20, he was

taking a late lunch break, desultorily gnawing at a ham and cheese

sandwich, when his cell phone rang. He flipped it open and saw that the

call was from Nick.
Perfect!
Logan was sitting alone at the back picnic

table and could tell the big-mouth off without an audience. ―Yeah?‖

The connection was really bad, and Logan could barely make out

Nick‘s voice as it faded in and out, swallowed by static. ―Lo… didn‘t

expect to get you… just gonna leave… message.‖

―Well, too bad for you, then, ‘cause now you gotta talk to me

direct.‖

―Wanted….‖ More static, and then Logan heard, ―I‘m sorry.‖ The

sound faded again, though Logan thought Nick added, ―I had to tell….‖

The rest was lost.

―You had to tell Trudy, huh? Is that why you called?‖

―You gotta know… goes against my …rinciples… don‘t believe