Where the Allegheny Meets the Monongahela (44 page)

seen you in way too long.‖

―You saw me this morning.‖

Logan pushed his lover down on the couch while wrenching his

mouth away long enough to complain. ―All I saw was you running out

the door.‖

Nick‘s answering chuckle was positively pornographic. ―Why

don‘t you just say we ain‘t fucked in days and you‘re horny?‖

Though he was now almost fully occupied with unzipping his

jeans with one hand while the other stroked Nick‘s rapidly stiffening

cock, Logan managed to breathe in his ear, ―I‘d rather show you.‖

―Good thing I closed those curtains,‖ was all the permission

Logan needed from Nick to start full-scale removal of clothing.

Moments later the sensation of complete skin-on-skin contact was

so heady that Logan almost forgot his plans for the evening, but after a

few seconds of rutting against Nick, he found the willpower to come to

a full stop. Logan took a second to drink in the sight of Nick in the dim

light—pale skin glowing with a light sheen of sweat despite the

freezing temperatures outside and eyes gone black with urgent desire—

before swiftly moving into position and sinking down until they were

fully joined.

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273

Nick‘s look of surprise was everything Logan could have hoped

for. ―What…? When did you—‖

―Slicked myself up at the garage before I headed home. Almost

came just thinking of what I was gonna do to you.‖

―Don‘t tell me you used motor oil—‖

―Vaseline, asshole.‖

―That pretty much sums it up.‖

Logan reached down and grasped the base of Nick‘s throbbing

prick. ―Keep it up and I ain‘t gonna let you come.‖

―But if I don‘t keep it up—‖

There was one sure way of shutting his man up, and Logan knew

it. He swiftly pistoned up and down while moving his hand to the

entrance of Nick‘s body, satisfied when he saw those dark eyes roll into

the back of his head. Logan‘s last rational thought before he gave

himself over to the tide of pleasure was an inchoate yearning to

somehow take more of Nick inside him—and keep him there forever.

NICK stroked his hand up and down Logan‘s flank, enjoying the peace

of the moment and the feel of the strong body on top of his every bit as

much as the release of orgasm. ―Wish it could just stay like this.‖

―I think your legs would ‘ventually go to sleep,‖ Logan quipped,

though his sarcastic reply was belied by the soft light in his eyes as he

looked up at Nick.

―You know what I mean.‖

―Yeah, I do. When it‘s just you and me, there ain‘t no questions

or problems buzzing round. Everything‘s easy.‖

There was more urgency in Logan‘s tone than Nick would have

expected had he simply been voicing agreement with Nick‘s statement.

―Sounds like you got something on your mind. What‘s up?‖

Indecision flitted across Logan‘s face, as if he was struggling with

giving a fully honest answer. ―Give me a minute,‖ he mumbled before

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untangling his legs from Nick‘s and standing up to slip into his jeans. ―I

could use a beer, how ‘bout you?‖

―Sounds good.‖

Shortly, they were seated on the couch, bare-chested, drinking

beer in silence so thick that Nick had begun to worry that something

truly serious was in the offing.

Finally Logan said, ―Had a talk with Dave today.‖

―Dave Acken?‖ When Logan nodded confirmation, Nick

continued, ―About what?‖

―He‘s putting his shop on the market, and he wants me to buy it.‖

Elation, composed of half relief, half excitement, coursed through

Nick. ―That‘s a great idea. You had me worried. Thought it was

something bad.‖

―It is bad!‖ Logan jumped up and started pacing the room,

pausing only to scowl at Nick. ―Great, huh? Are you crazy? I ain‘t got

that kind of money. And what do you think—the guy who does buy it,

is he gonna give me the run of the place like Dave does? Hell no, he

ain‘t, so now I‘m not gonna have any place to work on cars. I‘ll be back

to what I can get done in driveways and—‖

Nick stood up and stepped into Logan‘s path, placing his hand on

his shoulders to halt his restless wandering. ―Hold on there, Mr. Doom

and Gloom. How much money are we talking about, to buy Acken‘s

shop?‖

Logan looked at Nick like he was explaining gravity to a four-

year-old wanting to fly. ―Plenty. Beat up as it is, with all his tools and

stuff, Dave‘ll want at least a hundred and fifty grand.‖

―Well you don‘t need the whole thing up front, only a down

payment.‖

―You think I don‘t know that?‖ Logan snapped. ―Well, let me it

make it clear to you then, Zales. I ain‘t even got that. ‘Specially since I

can‘t seem to unload my old shop in Elco.‖

A near-veteran of interpreting Logan‘s moods, Nick recognized

his peevishness as more fear and insecurity than anger. Since he

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remembered from college and graduate school how it felt not having

the money other people took for granted, he didn‘t take the show of

irritation personally. Fortunately, over the years, Nick had developed a

knack for dealing with this very issue in creative ways. ―Logan, how

much could we get for the Thunderbird now?‖

―What‘s that got to do with—‖

―Just answer the question.‖

Logan scratched his chin, obviously giving the matter some

thought. ―The shape it‘s in now, you could get $25,000 easy, $10,000

more if it goes to auction.‖

―There we go,‖ Nick exalted. ―There‘s your down payment.‖

―How you figure? That‘s
your
car. You already gave me the

money you owed me.‖

―I can get back my original investment, and there‘s enough left

over for your down payment. Besides, I think of it as
our
car. We did

that together—turned a pile of junk into something beautiful.‖

―That‘s real nice, but it doesn‘t really change the fact that you‘re

giving me charity.‖

―Jesus!‖ Nick threw up his hands in frustration before offering,

―Then call it a loan. You can pay me back after you start making

money—which, as good a mechanic as you are, won‘t take long.‖ Nick

watched anxiously as Logan chewed at his hangnails—always a sign

that he was mulling something over.

―I don‘t know,‖ he drawled. When Nick couldn‘t suppress an

audible huff of irritation, Logan hastened to explain, ―I‘ve seen money

come between people, and I‘d sure hate…. I‘d hate to mess up… us.‖

Touched more than he wanted to admit by that sincere

declaration, Nick grasped Logan‘s arm firmly, promising, ―It won‘t.‖

―Besides, you love that car. I can‘t let you sell it for me.‖

―Not as much as I—‖ Nick‘s throat dried up, and he couldn‘t

force out the rest of that sentence. He took a deep breath as he thought

to himself,
If not now, when?
One swallow, two, and then he said it.

―Nowhere near as much as I love you.‖

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To Nick‘s eternal shock, in a barely audible tone, Logan

answered, ―I love you, too.‖ Louder and more resolute, he added,

―That‘s why I can‘t let you do this.‖

―If you love me like I love you, then you should know that selling

the T-bird won‘t bother me!‖ Nick insisted. ―Don‘t you see? This is

your chance
, and I‘d give anything to help you take it. You
hate
that

job at the garden center, and you love fixin‘ cars. If you buy Dave‘s

place, you can do that full time, and you‘ll be living closer to ho—to

here.‖

Logan‘s laugh rang out, brightening the dim room considerably.

He was evidently anything but offended by Nick‘s Freudian slip. ―And

I‘ll be living closer to home—you can say it. I know I‘m pretty much

livin‘ here.‖

―Yeah, I guess you are.‖ Nick suddenly found it easy to admit the

truth, though he was starting to feel overwhelmed by the swell of

emotion and sought some breathing room by grabbing his shirt off the

floor and shrugging into it.

From over his shoulder, he heard Logan say, ―So… while you‘re

figuring what I owe for my half of the mortgage, you might as well add

in what I need to pay you on that loan every month.‖

Nick whipped around, gaping at Logan, who was retrieving his

own shirt as calmly as he‘d made that last momentous statement. ―So

you‘re gonna—that means you‘ll do it?‖

―Sure.‖ Logan smiled sheepishly as he stepped close and pulled

Nick to him. ―You‘re one persuasive man.‖ He punctuated his

pronouncement with a quick kiss.

Though he returned Logan‘s embrace wholeheartedly, Nick

couldn‘t stop himself from murmuring, ―To everyone but myself.‖

Logan held Nick out at arm‘s length and studied him carefully.

―What‘s that mean?‖

―Nothing.‖

―The hell it don‘t.‖ Logan dragged him over to the couch and

pushed Nick into a seated position while he parked himself nearby.

―Come on, you‘re always making me spill my guts. It‘s your turn.‖

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Nick reclaimed his beer from where it had been abandoned on the

coffee table and took a few sips before starting. ―Tonight Eric and I

talked about me going to…. You see, it turns out that maybe I want—

that maybe I should… go see my father.‖

The shock was plain on Logan‘s face. ―What? Why?‖

―A lot of reasons,‖ Nick answered pensively, then paused, trying

to remember them himself. ―So I can see for myself that he‘s not really

some fire-breathin‘ dragon, that he‘s just a weak old man. So I can tell

him what he did to my mom is really why she‘s dyin‘ now and that‘s

on him. So I can hear what it is he‘s had to say all these years and

prove to myself that it doesn‘t mean anything—whatever it is. And that

he doesn‘t mean anything to me, like I‘ve always said.‖

Logan squinted at Nick thoughtfully. ―Okay… then if you have

to, do it.‖

―Easy for you to say,‖ Nick laughed bitterly.

―Hey, Bud,‖ Logan drawled as he put an arm around Nick‘s

shoulder. ―I know what it is to be scared.‖

―I‘m not scared of him!‖ Nick protested vehemently, jerking

away from the arm encircling him.

―I didn‘t mean it that way,‖ Logan assured him, refusing to let

Nick shrug away. ―But I think something about seeing him bothers the

hell out of you. I don‘t know what it is….‖

Nick ceased his struggles and leaned back into Logan,

whispering, ―I‘ll be giving him what he wants.‖

―And?‖ When Nick didn‘t answer, Logan prodded, ―I don‘t get

it.‖

―Growing up, all I ever wanted was to hurt him like he hurt my

mom.‖ Nick clenched his fists in reflexive anger, unwanted memories

assaulting him from all sides. ―To make him pay,‖ he bit off. ―But I

couldn‘t.‖ Nick sighed before continuing in a deceptively calm voice.

―One time I tried to get between ‘em, and he threw me ‘cross the room

like a rag doll. Later my mom begged me to never interfere again.‖

―So you‘ve been tryin‘ to punish him by not going to see him all

these years?‖

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―Yeah.‖ Another bitter laugh escaped from Nick as he admitted,

―It sounds almost stupid when you say it out loud.‖

―Nah, it‘s not stupid. I get it now.‖ Logan took the beer from his

hand and put it on the end table before drawing Nick fully into his arms

and then easing them both down into a reclining position. Nick

snuggled gratefully into Logan‘s embrace, and then he heard him ask,

his breath puffing softly into Nick‘s hair, ―So what‘re you gonna do?‖

Safe in his lover‘s arms, Nick was finally able to say, firmly and

unequivocally, ―I‘m going to go see the son of a bitch.‖

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Chapter 19:

And the Truth Will Set You Free

…And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

— John 8:32

EVERY day since that fateful session with his therapist, Nick had

planned to call up Fayette County Prison and investigate the

arrangements for visiting a prisoner. Yet the last weeks of January and

every single day of February had slipped by without him doing it. Yes,

Nick had many legitimate reasons for the delay—the pace at ACC was

as hectic as ever, his mom‘s condition continued to worsen to the point

where every day might be her last, and there was the bustle and

excitement of Logan buying Dave Acken‘s shop and starting his own

business. However, Nick was self-aware enough to know, deep down,

that all of those things were mere excuses. Even though he hadn‘t

faltered in his resolve to visit his father at last, he still hadn‘t managed