Where the Wild Rose Blooms (28 page)

But it was not to be. The news had come on Saturday, and by Wednesday Jackie was so drawn and pale that several customers asked Morgan if she was coming down with something. She and Danny had needed
to
keep busy, and so they worked at the store every day, but both were depressed.

Jackie almost invariably waited on Clayton when he came into the store, but on this occasion she was busy with two other customers. In fact, she didn't even see him. Danny went to the other side of the counter to see to his needs, but for a moment she could see only his profile as he stared at Jackie. Danny waited patiently until he turned.

"Did you need something, Tag?"

"Danny." His face and voice were serious. "Is Jackie ill?"

Danny frowned, and anger, anger she suddenly realized had been simmering in her since Saturday, came to the surface. She did nothing to hide this emotion.

"How thick can one man be, Clayton?"

Clayton was so surprised that he blinked.

"Have I done something, Danny?" His face was so vulnerable that Danny's ire broke and so did her heart.

"Oh, Clayton," she sighed. "You know better than anyone how hard it is for her to make friends. First
Eddie goes and now you. How do you think she should be feeling?" Tears had come to Danny's
eyes
and she dashed them away with an embarrassed move.

"But I thought she and Paddy—" Danny's mouth came open, and Clayton let the sentence hang.

"Paddy O'Brien?" Danny's voice came out in an incredulous squeak.

"Well, yes. I thought maybe they were—" The look of shock in Danny's eyes brought him to an uncomfortable halt.

Danny felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. She looked down at her hands and then back at her customer, her voice suddenly tired. "What can I get for you, Clayton?"

"Lexa, dear," old Mrs. Greeley suddenly spoke in a loud voice from Claytons side, "can you help me?"

"Go ahead," Clayton urged her in a low voice.
"I'll look around."

"Lexa, can you help me?"

"Yes, Mrs. Greeley, and I'm Danny."

"Oh, thank you, dear." She was deaf as a post. "Now, Lexa, I need some thread. Blue. Not too dark and not too light."

Danny sighed but then thought it might be for the best. Maybe Jackie could help Clayton, and he would say something kind to her. But it didn't work out that way. Danny glanced up at one point to see her father attending to him. Clayton's gaze was still on Jackie, but she didn't notice. Mrs. Greeley was shouting again in order to hear her own voice, and when Danny looked one last time, Clayton was gone.

Addy watched Jackie pick at her food that evening and begged God for wisdom. Mother and daughter had prayed together every night over the Taggarts' departure, but Jackie acted like she was in mourning. In a way she was. Addy was much the same way when she was upset. She lost all interest in food or coffee. Addy was old enough to know she had to eat, but right now, Jackie simply didn't care. Addy worried she would come down sick before she felt up to eating again. She had tried to discuss it with Morgan, but his answer had been to order Jackie to eat and to punish her if she didn't. Addy wished she'd kept the concern to herself.

It was a surprise to everyone when Clayton came to the house that night. They were all aware of how hard the Taggarts were working to get ready to go, but Morgan had a rare moment of insight when he let Clayton in the front door.

"I'd like to talk to Jackie," Clay told him. "Is she around?"

"Sure, Clay. Go right into the living room. I'll send her in."

Morgan went back to the family still gathered in the kitchen.

"Clay is here to see you, Jack. He's in the living room."

"Oh," was the only reply he received, and for a moment he wondered if Danny had known what she was talking about. Sammy began to slip past him to see Clayton as well, but he caught the back of her dress.

"Not tonight, Sam. Let Jack go on her own."

Morgan was rewarded by Addy's loving smile of approval. That smile did things to his heart. Danny
had
known what she was talking about. Morgan decided then and there to ask Addy about it when they were alone; after that he would kiss her until they were both breathless.

"Hello, Clay," Jackie spoke as she came into the room. Clayton came to his feet.

"Hi, Jackie. I hope I didn't take you from anything." He tried not to look at how thin she had become, but it was impossible; her dress was beginning to hang on her frame.

"No." Jackie smiled, her voice sounding normal. "Just the dishes, and I won't miss those."

She sat on one of the chairs, and he sat across from her. To Jackie's surprise, an uncomfortable silence fell. If she hadn't known better, she would have said Clayton was nervous.

"Are you all packed?" Jackie rescued him.

"Almost. Tomorrow should be a pretty easy day, but then we have lots of goodbyes to make."

"I'll bet you do. Be sure and tell us all goodbye tonight, and then you can scratch us off the list."

Clayton stared at her. Why had he never noticed how few demands she made on him? It wasn't that way at first. At first she had had all sorts of expectations, and he hadn't caught half of them, but in the past year she never made him feel bad about leaving or pressured him to do anything for her. He thought of her as another sister, but she was far less demanding than Milly, who was a wonderful sister in her own right.

"I'll write to you," he suddenly said, and watched a grimace of pain cross her face.

"Oh, Clay, don't say that," she said softly.

"Why not? It's true."

Jackie shook her head. "It never quite works that way."

"I don't know what you mean."

She sighed softly. Jackie usually had a hard time sharing her feelings for fear of rejection, but Clayton was leaving and suddenly she didn't care what he thought. She was going to be honest even if it hurt him a little.

"It's nothing intentional, Clay, but when a person goes away he sets up a new life for himself. Eddie hasn't written anywhere near what she'd promised, but I understand. She has her life there in Boulder, and she's busy with that. I'm sure it's much more healthy than constantly trying to live in the past."

"I'm going to write to you," he stated emphatically, but Jackie didn't comment. Clayton let the silence hang between them for a moment. She wasn't even looking at him. How had he been so blind to her feelings and need for friendship?

"Jackie." He waited until she looked up and then asked plainly, "Will you write back to me if I write to you?

Jackie let herself really look at him now, telling herself it might be the last time. She knew her heart would always melt at the sight of him, but she had to say what was on her mind.

"I honestly don't think you will, Clay, at least not over once or twice, but I'll answer every letter you send me.

Clay nodded. "Its a deal then."

Jackie actually managed a smile, but her heart knew the truth.

Clayton didn't say his goodbyes that night but came by briefly the next day with his mother and Milly. There were tears on nearly everyone's part, but Jackie was dry-eyed. Why this stuck out to Clayton more than anything else, he didn't know. But even when the stage pulled out of Georgetown the next day, his father made as comfortable as possible for the long trip, the look in Jackie's eyes still haunted him.

The mails were in their usual winter holdup, but surprisingly enough, Jackie received three letters on the same day. One was from Eddie and two were from Clayton, who had been gone a month. She told herself not to get her hopes up. He was writing only because he said he would, but it would be no different than Eddie. The snow did slow things up, but this was Eddie's first letter to her in weeks.

Jackie opted to open the letter from her sister first. She was very cheered by the words inside, but felt sad when Eddie once again confided to Jackie that she wished to be pregnant.

"You hear of women who go childless, Jackie," she wrote, "but you never dream it will happen to you. I know Robert loves me as I am, and even laughs and hugs me if I mention my infertile state, but I so want us to have a child. I've never wrestled with anything as much as this. I have even been angry at God. Please pray for me concerning my hearts attitude."

Jackie did pray for her, every night. She also prayed that someday they would see each other again, but it didn't seem likely to happen anytime soon. Jackie's mind swam in all directions for a while before she told herself to get on with what she was doing.

She picked up Claytons letters, opened both of them just enough to see which one he'd written first, and then started in. She was in for a pleasant surprise.

"I thought we were going to be on that stage forever.
But,"
he had underlined that word, "we caught the train in Forks and was that an adventure! I've never moved so fast in my life. Poor Miner would have dropped dead from heart failure." Jackie laughed in delight at this description and thought of Miner, now housed in the stable behind the store. She avidly read on.

My grandmothers house is nothing like I expected. She has enough room to house the whole of Denver. I think I mentioned to you that I would stay with her only if it worked out. Well, believe me, Jackie, it has been fine. She's so loving and really delighted to have us here.

I haven't actually walked to the school, so I don't know exactly how far away the school is right now, but I'm going tomorrow. I'm a little nervous about checking in at the school, but Grandma says there's nothing to worry about.

My father starts work tomorrow too. My mother tried to get him to take it easy for a time, but he's rating to go.

It's certainly noisy here. I haven't slept as well because of it, but my mom says I'll adjust. Milly has cried every day for Danny and Paddy, but the sights and sounds of the big city have certainly helped to distract her.

Jackie had to stop reading. She was so amazed she couldn't go on. Why, it sounded just like him! At times it was difficult to picture Eddie and Robert, but Claytons letters were just an extension of the man, and Jackie could see his face and hear his voice as she read. Relieved by this revelation, Jackie gave way to her exhaustion. She lay back on her bed and let the wonderfulness of it flow over her.

However, she sobered swiftly. It didn't mean he would keep writing. She finished the first letter and turned to the next one. It was just as much fun as the first and ended with a postscript. "Don't forget, Miss Fontaine, you said you would reply to every letter. You now owe me two."