Whiskey Rose (Fallen) (23 page)

Not even Katrin
a’
s voice could lift his dark mood, it had settled in like fog. He stood in his usual spot watching the room. Katrina was really good tonight. She had the attention of the room. The pinstripe suit guy, who was actually wearing a brown suit tonight, was riveted Matt thought he might pass out from having forgotten to breathe. Even Walt Porter was still watching, he normally followed Raven upstairs by the second song.

“
I’
ve got it
,
” he said to Rose when she came close.

“
Wha
t’
s that
?
”

“Next time it looks like there is going to be trouble we’ll just get Katrina to sing. Look at them she is like the pied piper playing their tune. Even the Cannon boys are quiet.” Rose smiled but she turned away and the fog grew darker, more like a storm cloud. That was not
his Rose. She was treating him like one of the regulars now. She was friendly and sweet and entirely false. He wanted the real Rose back, his Rose, the thorny one.  He heard her laugh as some drunken cowboy propositioned her. He didn’t even look that way he just straightened up and began to walk slowly through the room. When he passed the door he couldn’t resist he stepped out into the cool night air. Someone standing beside the door startled him and he reached for his gun but he realized the man wasn’t a threat. It was Jonathan. He was standing there listening to Katrina sing. Matt stepped all the way out and let the door swing back.

“
Why do
n’
t you just go in
?
”

“
I do
n’
t need to cause a scene, I just want to listen
.
” Matt was
n’
t sure what it was, maybe the fact that he could relate but he felt bad for the guy.

“
If you still want to liste
n
… why did you stop in the first place
?
”

“
Tha
t’
s subtle
.
” Jonathan grumbled
.“
What happened
?
”

“
What do you mean
?
” Matt asked refusing to believe Jonathan could be aware of what had transpired between him and Rose.

“
Why is she upset
?
”
 
Matt hesitated, maybe he did know
.“
She only sounds like that when sh
e’
s been crying
.
” Matt relaxed slightly he was talking about Katrina.

“
I honestly could
n’
t tell you. The most she has ever said to me is to warn me off Rose
.
” Jonathan sighed and pushed off the wall and walked away from the building without looking back. Matt fell into step beside him purely out of curiosity.

“
So back to my not so subtle question. Clearly you still care about her so why did you leave
?
”

“
She is better off without me
.
”

“
Did she tell you that
?
”

“
What would you know about it
?
” Jonathan stopped abruptly and looked at him
.“
You think you can just walk in here and act like you know us? You do
n’
t know anything
!
” He started walking again and Matt walked with him.

“
So enlighten me
.
”
 
Jonathan did
n’
t say anything at first they just walked. Then he began to speak.

“
She used to be so bright, like the sun,
I’
m not just saying she was beautiful, she was, but so much more than that. I was just a kid the first time I saw her but I knew,it hit me just like a revelation, an epiphany. She was it
.
”

“
You loved her
?
” Matt asked and Jonathan laughed.

“
Yeah I loved her, like air
.
”

“
So what happened
?
”

“
I put her out. I smothered her light
.
”

“
She loves you
.
”

“
That just made it easier. Who better to destroy your life than the person you trust the most. So I left, I thought it would help. I thought the light would comeback but it did
n’
t i
t’
s gone. I just made it worse
.
”

“
So why not just go back
.
”

“
I ca
n’
t, i
t’
s too late now
.
”

“
Why
?
” Matt pressed. Jonathan stopped and looked at him.

“
You married
?
”

“
No
.
”

“
Been in love
?
”

“
Once
.
”

“
Ever hurt the person you love? Have that person hurt you
?
”
 
Matt could
n’
t answer so he just nodded
.“
Then you know why. I
t’
s like an infection it spreads if you do
n’
t cut it out quick it festers and it spreads until it consumes you. Until you are just a shell of a person with gangrene where your heart used to be. Tha
t’
s what love is. I
t’
s not about devotion, respect or even lust. I
t’
s giving someone your heart and trusting them not to rip it out then forgiving them when they ultimately do
.
”

“
Tha
t’s
… a
h
… poetic
.
”

“
Yeah
.
”

“
S
o
… why did
n’
t you cut it out
?
”

“
Because it was
n’
t something I could fix. It was
n’
t some careless words. The two women, the only two people in the world that I loved and I broke both their hearts. I killed one of them and the other on
e
… I never want to see that look in her eyes again
.
”

“
Two
.
”

“See I told you, you don’t know anything.” Jonathan walked away again this time Matt didn’t follow. Two he thought to himself. Two… two… two… Matt stopped walking when it hit him. Pam. His sister, of course he loved her. Rose had told him. What else had she said that night? Pam and Jonathan had a fight then Pam died. He had left because of the guilt, that’s what Rose had said. Jonathan said he had gangrene in his soul, no his heart. He had a decision to
make. Did he love Rose? Because if he didn’t he needed to walk away now. Turn the whole investigation over to Jack or to another Ranger. She had hurt him, it probably wouldn’t be the last time but if he wasn’t willing to endure that, to face the possibility of gangrene then he didn’t deserve her.

Rose walked slowly around the room, retrieving stray glasses. Absently she wondered if Dixie had found her admirer. She turned back toward the bar and stopped short when she saw a figure standing there.

“
You startled me
.
”

“
You lied
.
”

“
I beg your pardon. I do
n’
t think I did
.
” She carried the glasses to the bar and set them down.

“You said you don’t believe in destiny.” She lifted her chin as if she was waiting for him to deliver a blow. “You said when you met Pam it was preordained. Preordained that means it was planned ahead of time, just like dest
iny.” He saw her throat bob as she swallowed.  “I can’t for the life of me figure out what brought my partner here but I know what brought me here. What keeps me here.” He leaned forward and kissed her softly. She was surprised her lips parted automatically and he took advantage. He had stopped short of confessing his love for her. She had expressed her aversion to the concept a number of times so he didn’t use the word. He didn’t use the word but he demonstrated it. He tenderly pulled her into his arms he lightly cupped her cheek. He swept his tongue over hers each time a little deeper drawing her out until she was meeting him, even following him.

“
I do
n’
t want there to be gangrene
,
” he whispered breathless.

“
What
?
”

“
I
t’
s a long story. Come on
.
” He led her toward the hallway but she stopped him.

“
Wait I was
n’
t finished
.
”

“
The door is locked everything else will keep till morning
.
” She looked up into his eyes and nodded once. When they stepped into her room he locked the door and immediately began pulling the pins from her wig. He did
n’
t bother to light a lamp. Once he had freed it he buried his face in her hair. He sat down and put his hands on her waist he pulled her closer. He looked up into her eyes.

“
Am I still invited
?
” She smiled and began unbuttoning her blouse when she dropped it to the floor he pulled her down onto his lap. She slid her hand down his whisker covered cheek.

“
You need a shave
.
”

“
I always do
.
” She kissed him and he carefully laid them both over on the bed. His hands were warm in the cool air and she could feel the heat resonance where ever he touched. She pulled his shirt over his head and pressed herself closer
.“
Wher
e’
s that line
?
” He whispered.

“
There is no line
.
” She was surprised by how breathy she sounded. His mouth was warm on her breast but when he pulled away the cold air rushed in and she gasped.

“
Oh tha
t’
s cold
!
” She whispered furiously and he laughed then breathed hot air down on it. She reached out and touched his nipple with her fingertips and it tightened. She smiled at the discovery and then leaned forward and put her mouth over it. He groaned and she grinned
.“
Where else
?
” She asked and smiled, there was a wicked gleam in his eye. She liked it. It felt like she was seeing something no one else ever saw. He pulled her ear lobe into his mouth and she in turn did the same to him.

“
Oh sweetheart this could be a very dangerous game of follow the leader
.
” She thrilled at the idea.

“I’m not afraid, I’ll go where you lead me.” His chest tightened until he couldn’t breathe. She trusted him, she was careful and wary in every aspect of her life and for some reason she had chosen to let him past her locked door. He bent and kissed her deeply afraid the emotion might overtake him if he didn’t give in to the passion first. He slid his hand up under her skirt. Slowly he moved his hand up her thigh. Just as he reached the apex he heard a shrill scream.

Matt’s
head snapped up and he listened. The first scream was followed immediately by another. He jumped up and grabbed his gun from where he had dropped the holster. He hesitated just for a second at the door.

“
Stay here and lock this door.” he barked, before he went out. He could still hear screaming, it was joined by more voices now. He ran toward the back stairs. The back door was open again banging lightly in the breeze.  He pushed it open and swept the alley gun drawn. He didn’t see anyone the air was quiet all the noise was coming from inside. He pulled the door shut and locked it then ran up the stairs two at a time. The top of the stairs and surrounding hallway was filled with hysterical women in various states of dress. Then he saw why. Lying on the floor just inside her bedroom in a pool of her own blood was Dixie. Her throat was cut so deeply that it was oddly gapped open her eyes were open wide, staring but unseeing. She was wearing a peach colored peignoir that was stained crimson from the blood pooled around her. It looked as if her entire blood volume had drained out around her. There was blood spray across the wall. He heard shuffling behind him then heard Izzy gasp.