Whiskey Rose (Fallen) (26 page)

“
A
… a
h
… sister I think, back east somewhere. They were
n’
t close
.
”

“
He has a son
.
” She opened the bible and withdrew a photograph. She handed it to him and he took it. He could
n’
t say it looked like Benji but it was definitely the same child he had seen with Rose only younger. His knees felt weak and he sank down to the edge of the bed
.“
His name is Clay and h
e’s
… great
.
” She sniffed and he looked at her. The tears that had been in her eyes were running down her cheeks. He gave her a handkerchief
.“
Thank you
.
” She said wiping her eyes.

“
How old is he
?
”

“
He just had his first birthda
y
… h
e
… Oh no
.
” She groaned
.“
He turned one when Ben was here
.
” She put her face down in the handkerchief. Matt thought about the timing that would have been a few months after they were here for Hardin, did he meet her then and come back. He would have, he thought bitterly.

“
H
e’
s cute
.
” Matt said looking at the picture.  Rose lifted her head and smiled.

“
So cute, and so sweet he just laughs all the time
.
” Matt smiled despite the pain.

“
Benji was always laughing at something
.
”

“
I should have told him.I tried, I wrote a hundred letters. I even had that picture taken just so I could send i
t
… But I could
n’
t send it
.
” She stood up and paced
.“
I just thought he would come back, that I could tell him in person. She wanted to tell him in perso
n
…” She turned back and met his eyes
.“
Did I mess up? Should I have told him about her in a letter
?
” She was looking for an answer in his eyes and he had no idea what she was talking about.

“
Told him about who
?
” He thought they were talking about the baby until she said she.

“Pam.” He was growing more confused by the second but he somehow felt like he should know what she was talking about. “She didn’t want to tell him she was pregnant in a letter. She said she didn’t want him to feel obligated. But then when she died I didn’t know how to tell him about both.” Matt just stared at her trying to process what she said. “She really loved him. I don’t know if it matters to you, but she did.” A slow smile spread across his face as he felt the knot in his stomach unclench.

“
Yeah, it matters
.
” He handed her back the picture and she smiled at it
.“
How did she die
?
” Ros
e’
s smile faded.

“
She died when she had the baby
.
” She sat back down on the bed as new tears rolled down her cheeks
.“
She needed me and
I
… I fainted
.
” She clenched her eyes shut and he realized that if ever she was confiding in him it was now. He put his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. He could feel her shaking from the force of the tears
.“
The midwife told me there would be blood, but I thought I could handle it. It was stupid
.
”

“
Was the midwife there
?
”

“
Yes
.
”

“
Then what do you think you could have done that she did
n’
t
?
”

“
I do
n’
t know but I could have done something
.
”

“
No you could
n’
t
.
”

“
Yes I coul
d’
ve
,
” she insisted. He pulled back and turned her face up to his.

“
No you could
n’
t have
,
” he said very clearly, looking into her eyes. She looked into his eyes for a moment and then she moved forward and kissed him.

“Oh gosh I’m sorry.” She pulled back embarrassed because she was wet with tears. She quickly wiped her eyes but he just laughed. He bent and kissed her again not even letting her
finish drying her tears. He could taste the tears on her lips. He knew it should deter him but it didn’t. She was emotional and vulnerable but he didn’t care. He felt pretty vulnerable himself. She hadn’t lied to him. He had just jumped to the wrong conclusion. She was kissing him back and gripping the front of his shirt with both hands. It was enough of an invitation. He slowly lowered her down to the bed not breaking the contact. He heard her sigh and the sound made the hair on his arms stand. He moved his hand up to cup her face and felt the wig. He pulled back slightly and frowned. He pulled the pins out and lifted her just enough to pull the wig out from under her. Her curls spilled out like a halo around her head. He leaned back down but then he felt his holster. He growled and sat up fumbling with the buckle until her hand over his caused him to still.

“Matt,” s
he whispered. “Relax.” She pulled the leather free of the buckle and set the holster and gun on the night table.  She moved back and started unbuttoning his shirt. He held very still while she unbuttoned the whole thing and pushed it off his shoulders. When she began unbuttoning her own he reversed the process. Placing his hand over the top of hers. She lowered her hands and he looked into her eyes while he unbuttoned it. She didn’t look afraid. In fact what he saw in her eyes had a more powerful effect on him then anything he had ever felt before. He dropped the shirt on the floor and gently laid her back again. It was still daylight out, the room was bright and he couldn’t resist looking at her.  He touched her lightly with his fingers and saw her nipples tighten into firm peaks. He grinned and saw her flush.

“You’re so beautiful,
” He whispered reverently and her flush deepened. He gave up trying to talk and kissed her. Rose shut her eyes tightly forcing back tears as he tenderly caressed her. She saw the hunger in his eyes but it was the gentleness that moved her. He was a Texas Ranger by definition they were rough and tough, willing to single handedly take on any number of men. She had seen him do it, take a punch, deliver one. She knew his hands had the power to take whatever they wanted from her and yet he held her as if she were a piece of antique china. She ran her hands down his arms and back up again. He kissed his way down her chest and she had the ever increasing need to touch him. She felt his hands on the waist of her skirt and she lifted her hips so he could slide it off.  She tugged open the button on his trousers and he smiled. He stripped off everything else he still had on and came back to her. There was something about the two of them both being naked, it was carnal but it was more than that. In her heightened emotional state it felt symbolic. Like there was nothing in between them anymore. She moved closer pressing her entire length against him. Whether he was just responding to her or he felt it too she didn’t know but he wrapped his arms around her completely enveloping her. She reveled in the feel of it for just a moment but then she began to kiss the only thing she had access to, his neck. She ran her tongue up the corded length to his ear and sucked it lightly. She felt his arms tighten just a bit and then he released her as his hands began to roam her body once again.

He felt her breathing accelerate as he touched her. Her skin was soft and warm and smelled like roses. He was certain a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. He ran his hand down the plane of her stomach and down between her thighs. She jumped when he touched her but then she parted her legs. Another invitation. He gently caressed her until he could feel her tight with tension. Then he replaced his hand.

She felt the burn as her body stretched to accommodate him but it wasn’t enough to make her want to stop, not even close. She pulled her legs up opening herself to him as much as she could. All at once something within her gave way and he slid all the way in. She gasped as her nerves all fired sending sensation out to the tips of her fingers and the tips of her toes. Even her hair felt like it was standing on end. He didn’t move for a moment and the sensations subsided but then he began to move in long strokes and the sensations started all over again. She gripped his shoulders tightly unable to think coherently enough to do anything else.

Matt could barely breathe he felt like his heart was going to pound right out of his chest. When his release found him he was sure he was going to die. But she was still there soft and warm beneath him so at least he was in heaven it would be a very nice way to spend eternity.  Slowly as his brain function began to return he felt her fingers running lightly up and down his back. He started to move but she held him.

“I’
m squishing you
.
”

“
No
.
”
 
He did
n’
t move entirely but he propped himself up on his arms so he could look at her. He could see where the tears had run from her eyes and instantly was alarmed.

“
Did I hurt you
?
”

“
No
.
”

“
Why are you crying
?
”

“
I do
n’
t know
.
” She sniffed and he laughed
.“
I did
n’
t know it was like that
.
”

“It’s usually not. It’s only when the right people come together.” He stopped short of using the words love or destiny because she didn’t like those words but only barely. He finally
rolled to his side only so he could get his arms around her. He didn’t want to let her go he didn’t want even a breath of space between them as he crushed her against him. She sighed as she laid her head against his chest. There was still plenty of daylight left. They could get up and get dressed again but he didn’t want to. He didn’t even want to move. He never wanted to move. He wondered what she would say if he told her he loved her, if he told her he wanted to meet her price, to take her away and give her a new life. That he wanted to marry her. Would she be happy? Or would she tell him again that she didn’t believe in love, didn’t believe that everything happened for a reason. If she did maybe he would just stay here. He couldn’t be away from her, this couldn’t be all there was. At least the saloon was closed so he didn’t have to watch anyone paw at her. He didn’t have to listen to her flirt with other men. If he did he might be the one to kill someone. He sat up so abruptly that she gasped.

“
Wha
t’
s the matter
?
”

“
Rose, you have to open the Saloon again. You have to do it tonight
.
”

“
What why? We only buried Dixie yesterday
.
”

“
I know but I think I know what this is all about
.
” He jumped up and got dressed completely down to his boots. He glanced back at her just before he opened the door. She was sitting on the bed wide eyed with the sheet pulled up around her breasts. He stepped back and kissed her softly.

“
Just trust me
.
” She nodded and he smiled and let himself out.

Rose sat there feeling a bit dazed she was
n’
t sure what had just happened. It felt like something amazing had passed between them but maybe it was just her. He certainly had
n’
t seemed like something life altering had happened to him. She took a deep breath and began dressing. If she was reopening tonight she had a lot of work to do.

People were starting to filter into the saloon and still she didn’t see Matt anywhere. There were a lot of condolences she wasn’t sure if word had just spread or if the fact that the saloon had been closed all week was the reason for the comments. By the time it was time for Katrina to go on it was a full house. She saw Matt come through the door just as Katrina stepped on the stage. She went towards the end of the bar where he always stood but he didn’t come there he went closer to the stage instead. She continued serving drinks but she was distracted. She kept watching him but he didn’t look her way at all. Was he ignoring her? He had worked his way forward until he was standing beside the side of the stage. Katrina reached out and touched his face as she sang and he smiled at her. Rose felt as if someone had hit her in the stomach. She couldn’t even move. She thought they had something special but all she was to him was a conquest. She wanted to cry but she poured herself a shot of whiskey instead. She didn’t need him. He might have made a fool out of her but she was still in charge. She was in charge of her life and this saloon. She could throw him out. She didn’t know where Izzy was or she would have him do it right now. Instead she just glared, shooting daggers at the back of his head while he continued not looking at her.