White Lies: (The Uruwashi Series #4) (28 page)

“You can.”

He snorted a laugh. “Jesus, I don’t need you fucking trying to encourage me to kill.”

She smiled, making an obvious fight against the pain of the sun. “I was ready for this. Besides, I’ll get to see the sun again after over three millennia, it’s all any of us ever want.”

Tristan’s shoulders dropped. “Are you sure?”

“I already told you, you won’t kill me. And see, you’ve cried for me too. I told you that you would.”

He laughed but he felt the rise of those fucking tears again. God, what a mess. He took the sheath from Lilith and pushed the blade back inside. “I cry because I’m weak, and you’ve broken me.”

“No, dear. You’re very much the opposite of weak and far from broken. You have too far to go before you’re allowed to break.”

“But what is it? What am I supposed to be? I can’t go on like this, not knowing, not understanding…. Fuck, it’s like an overbearing parent that dictates down to breathing on what their child should do.”

“You’re closer than you think. The answers are slowly making their way towards you, your time of convergence is very soon—perhaps in time to stop Mother.”

Tristan’s body stiffened at the mention of his, as he understood it, ultimate enemy. “Xuejiao…”

The vampire sighed, shutting her eyes. That’s when Tristan noticed the blood slowly seeping out of her eyes, nose, mouth and ears. The burn, it started on the inside long before the sun broke horizon and now that was moments away and once the light of sun touched the vampire’s flesh there was no stopping the destruction.

“She’s…Ah, I’m, I’m saying too much now. The sun, it boils the mind, I’m not sure what I’m saying.”

“Xuejiao, please, I need to know.”

“I’m sorry, dear Uruwashi, but rest assured that the truth is not far. Just hang in there, hold onto your strength, the power you hold within you, and those who love you. Never would I have ever guessed a single Uruwashi would have such a large command of loyal followers.”

“Followers? What followers?”

“Ash, Desmond, Yukihime, Innokentiy. Lilith here, perhaps even Audric and Balian to a point, they all trust in you and your plight.”

“A plight we don’t know shit about!”

Xuejiao smiled a real smile, her first since being caught. “There you go, feeling more like yourself again. See, you’ll be fine. You’re young and bounce back so resiliently. And with your crew, nothing can go wrong now.”

He let out a heavy sigh. “You’re insane, you know that?”

She smiled sadly and fluttered her hand at him to back away. “Now go back or you’ll get burnt or breath me in and trust me, you don’t want that.”

He hefted the sword one last time, weighting it. He wasn’t particularly good with it, not like Ash, but he wasn’t down right terrible either. He could ease the child’s pain; seconds, that’s all it took.

“Seconds,” Xuejiao whispered, “And a new burden to bear.”

“Yes,” he said softly. “A burden I can and will take because it’s the right thing to do.”

She laughed. “Oh, it’s a shame I hadn’t a chance to know you in another circumstance, we might have been friends.”

Tristan smiled sadly. “Maybe.” He moved back a step, getting ready to make a quick retreat. The vampire may have been a warrior because she was doing a bang up job of pretending that her face wasn’t steaming. “You are sort of a crazy shit though.”

She smiled all fang; they were grey and speckled like dried out bone. “You like crazy.”

“Yeah,” he said with a laugh, “I guess I do.” 

She took in a deep, deep breath, shutting her eyes and let it out slowly, shaking. “It’s time. Tristan.” He moved to say something but she snapped at him. “Go. Step back. Now!”

Seeing the urgency in her eyes, he scrambled back only to fall to his ass. His knee had finally given out. Lilith came to him and helped him up, guiding them back to a safe distance. He couldn’t see Xuejiao, but he felt her, the fire of her presence and only when he was nearly a football field away, just on the fringe of his ability to feel her, did he stop. He turned to watch, surprised to see so much smoke.

Even from this far he could hear Xuejiao’s defiant grunts. The vampire refused to cry out but as the dark ash that tunneled upwards increased, the clank of her chains got louder and louder as she thrashed until she finally gave herself over to the pain and the first wail cut through the dawn.

She might have meant to hold her mental abilities back but the other vampires, hidden away in their dark places, they felt the push of her voice, the immensity of her seikonō and it took the breath from Tristan as a sheet of ice and lighting burst outward from the child. Even in her pain, she managed to control herself enough to ensure Tristan’s safety, making sure none of the lethal seikonō touched him.

“Fuck,” he groaned as he fell to his knees and curled up into himself. He never wanted to be a yellow bastard more than this moment. But he owed it to the child vampire, to those ancient Master vampires who let him stay alive to follow through with his duty and see the end of the exiled one, a blithe of the vampire kind.

HE WAS numb as Lilith led him away from the dead vampire, away from the light of sun and the world. Despite his previous unease with the girl, he felt a sudden kinship with her. Perhaps she spelled him back there. If she had, he didn’t care. He was too wrecked to care. He’d just killed a child. A vampire child, a sinner, a murderer, but a child none the less. And in the worst way possible.

When he looked up again he flinched, startled by his surroundings. “Uh… Is this—It’s your um, cave.”
Home
? Could you call a cave a home?

Lilith nodded and motioned for him to go ahead. He frowned at her but went on. The hallway opened up into a larger room and Tristan stopped short, mouth hanging open, staring at the two people watching him. He looked back, past Lilith to try and see out of the cave and then back to the couple.

“What in the fuck is going on?”

Ash smiled but it looked stiff and forced. She glanced at her companion. “Master is rather gifted.”

“You…
taught
her this? Jesus,” he whispered, astonished and took a step towards Ash and Innokentiy.

“We can’t go out into the sun,” Netty said. “But we can bear it… For a time.”

Tristan looked the two vampires up and down. They both were stiff and uncomfortable, fidgeting every now and then as if their skin didn’t fit well.

“It hurts,” he said rather than ask because it was apparent.

Ash nodded. “Yes, but I have something very important I needed to say to you both.”

Tristan glanced at Innokentiy before taking another step closer. Did that mean she remembered what she’d been told about Mother? “Ash…” He lowered his face, shaking his head. God, where did he start? “I know.”

The others were silent and Tristan looked up. Ash’s expression was stoic but he could see her breathing heavier.

“I saw—” He shook his head again. How did he explain that he was there, a part of the conversation, if only in spirit? Of all people, Ash would understand but the problem was Netty. The kodaijin was terrified of the pythia. That he was in the same space as one was telling.

Tristan let out a huff and with that huff some of his most pressing thoughts. “I know about Mother. And what I’m supposed to do.”

Ash let out a shaky sigh and went to him, taking him into her arms. She pulled him down to her so that their faces were in each other’s necks and held him tight. “I’m so sorry, my love,” she whispered to him.

Suddenly choked up, all he could do was nod and clutch to her as if she were the only thing keeping him sane. Well, she was.

After a moment of holding each other, they reluctantly parted. Ash lightly kissed his cheek in passing and then they were standing side by side, holding hands.

Whatever Innokentiy sensed from the pair, they couldn’t tell but he straightened, looking serious. “Something has happened.”

Ash and Tristan exchanged a look. “Yeah, it’s super fucking bad… worse than—” Tristan choked up again. “Than watching a child burn alive.”

Innokentiy said nothing but there was understanding and sympathy in his gaze as he nodded for them go on.

“It’s Mother,” Ash said.

Netty lifted an eyebrow. “I know you well enough that you don’t mean the Snow Princess.”

Tristan actually snorted a laugh but Ash only frowned as she took a seat on the sofa. Tristan sat down next to her, patting her knee as he settled in. “I really do love you, darling, but your bed side sucks.”

“You heard what Lilith said, how are you so calm?”

More than heard, he was a part of Ash for a small time in a way he never knew possible. He couldn’t now, not in front of Innokentiy, but he’d like to ask her about the things he’d seen, her memories. “Honest? I’m on the verge of losing my shit. Laughing is the only thing keeping me sane right now.”

Lilith passed them by, carrying Ash’s sword.

Ash watched a moment, her niece moving around and then turned to face Tristan. “You had a rough few days, haven’t you?”

He couldn’t bring himself to answer and not sob, so he kept his mouth shut and swallowed hard. It was all he could handle. Ash gave him an almost imperceptible accepting smile before turning her attention to her Great, Great Grand-Master.

“Four nights ago after Tristan left for the kitsune shrine, I had an encounter with Lilith, here in her home.”

She let out a heavy sigh, slumping and Tristan squeezed her hand. He understood how hard all this was for her. As a vampire, a shinwa, she was programed to immediately disbelieve any theory on their origin. But it was her hard-fast belief in the pythia that let her hold onto the truth. She
wanted
to believe everything about Mother. She had to. It would be the kodaijin sitting with them that would have a hard time with accepting.

“The short of it—we now know what to call the threat.”

“There’s a threat?” Innokentiy asked with raised brows but no trace of skepticism.

Ash’s look was sour. “I know you have your…
misgivings
about the pythia but Lilith’s words, they hold truth.”

The kodaijin sighed, bowing his head. “Yes, I’ve never known a vision to be untrue, as far as one can understand them anyway, especially Lilith’s.” He looked up and nodded at the pythia. She waved, freaking Tristan out.

“Fine then,” Ash said sharply. “Then know that those dark words she spoke were of destruction.”

“Of?”

“Good,” Tristan interjected.

Innokentiy frowned. “I didn’t take you for the melodramatic type, Tristan.”

He only shrugged.

“It’s true, Master. The Darkness that awakens, the one Lilith spoke of is Mother.”

Now the Viking was staring at Ash critically.

Tristan turned to Innokentiy and gave him a shortest version of what happened. “Lilith says she knows where the shinwa and heikō come from because she’s the child of the First Pythia. The shinwa come from Mother—er, Izanami, yeah, like the Shinto tale and each represent a sin. The heikō come from father, Izanagi, and are meant to counterbalance Izanami’s sins.” Tristan let out a breath, feeling like he’d just rattled off a ton of shit on a very small breath. His thoughts strayed and he wondered how Simon didn’t wear himself out talking like this all the time.

Ugh, Simon. Another problem for another day.

“Lilith says that the coming Darkness is Mother. That she wants to be flesh again, part of this world but Father’s been suppressing her… But the heikō, they’ve been dying out, thinning, haven’t they?”

He wasn’t sure why he knew that, maybe a shadow of a thought he got from Ash, only that it felt true. Innokentiy validated his theory with a nod.

“Right, so Father’s running out of steam and can’t hold Mother back anymore and she’s figured out a way to be born, or whatever, to the world outside of yomi.
Here
.”

“Is Mother really all that bad?” Innokentiy asked with no accusation or unacceptance in his tone, just a simple question.

“The poisoned darkness from which nightmares are born,” Ash said softly. “That’s what Yukihime called her. Lilith… Lilith called her the Deity of Darkness.” She looked up slowly, meeting Innokentiy’s eyes. “A darkness that awakens.”

Tristan nodded. “Like the prophecy says.”

The raven flies. The flower blossoms. The star falls. The earth shudders. Darkness awakens.

He was the raven, there was no doubt about that now, after all he knew about his kind, but he didn’t understand the analogy to flight since he obviously couldn’t. The flower bit didn’t mean shit to him but the next part was what worried him most of the whole thing.

The star falls
.

Ash’s real name was Asta, Greek for star. And from his experience, falling was never a good thing. There was also that mention of shuddering earth and Ash being from the House of Earth seemed more than relevant. Ash was no doubt thinking all the same things and more, but Tristan daren’t speak them aloud just yet, these fears.

And now, finally, they had a name for the darkness that’s supposed to awaken. Izanami, Mother of all sin. A darkness that will only happen if those other things happen, but what were they? What were those four triggers supposed to be?

“Father tried to balance Mother’s sin but even the most well-meaning of us…” Ash looked up and shrugged at the men. “
Sin
.”

Tristan looked away, ashamed.

“Many of the heikō have succumbed to the sins they were meant to nullify, giving Mother more power. Soon she’ll have enough to regain physical form, born from a shinwa, and then no one will be able to stop her.”

“Doesn’t being physical make her…” the Viking shrugged. “Weak?”

The group turned to look at Lilith who answered with still silence.

Tristan sighed. “I don’t think so.”

“And what is she meant to be stopped from doing?” Innokentiy asked, again with no true emotion to his voice or expression, just information seeking.

Ash glanced at Tristan as if asking if he’d like to answer. After a moment she licked her lips and continued. “Making heaven, hell and earth her domains. There will be no balance and shinwa, heikō, humans, the scourge of the underworld, we will all be living on the same plane, weak to our desires. The chaos and destruction… it’s unimaginable.”

Innokentiy shifted uncomfortable on his feet. It probably had more to do with the sun than their conversation. At least they weren’t bleeding from their orifices like Xuejiao had. “And Tristan is a part of this, yes?”

“She wishes to make him a consort, to walk the path of immorality at her side. If he were to align himself with her, then the world would truly be lost.”

He could feel Ash staring at him but Tristan said nothing. Inside he was screaming, his conscious calling him dark names, pinning sins on him that he never thought he’d have done. He was too far gone, too much of a monster now after letting that child burn alive to repent of his sins. It was no wonder Mother wanted him, he was everything she embodied.

Cold fingers wiggled into his and he sighed, taking Ash’s hand into his palm. She leaned in, making him look her in the face. He forced a smile and kissed her hand.

“It’s nothing like that, my love. Whatever else you are, Mother finds it too tantalizing to ignore. Whatever you may be on a genetic level has little to do with who you are as a human and it’s your genetics she wishes to use. I’m sure of it.”

“Stop fucking lying to us both, Ash. Jesus. You’re a vampire and no matter how hard you try not to be, there’s still your lust. You can’t fight the sin that you are.”

Ash frowned, taking her hand back.

“I’m part of the sin, maybe more. Fuck, for all we know I’m all seven sins in one—that’d be just my fucking luck, right?” Holy shit the thought hadn’t even occurred to him before the moment he said it and now that he had, he was utterly horrified.

Tears prickled Ash’s eyes and she put on a brave smile. “Now you really are being melodramatic.”

A little sob slipped from Tristan though he wasn’t crying, again. God, he was fucking sick of crying this week. “I don’t know what you learned in fighting Xuejiao out there but she claims to have been the scion of the First Vampire, Apos.”

At the silent shock on the other’s faces, Tristan went on. “And out in that field, I met another one, another scion of Apos’. She called him Amun and herself Amunet, and she told me I had awoken him from his two millennia long sleep. Xuejiao told me he might help but Amunet wants me to stay away. Amunet, she had three seikonō. Wind, Earth and fire—fucking
fire
. I felt them all in her, she wasn’t lying… And Xuejiao, you saw her, she had two. Maybe… I don’t know, maybe I should go see him.”

“Absolutely not,” Ash said quickly rushing to take his hands. “Not until we know what he wants. For all we know he is a servant of Mother’s. He is her sin.”

“Or an ally of Father,” Tristan said hopefully.

“No,” Innokentiy chimed in. “I agree with Ash. The situation is serious but we are not to the point of desperation yet that we should be reckless. Especially with your life. You are a big key to all this, you understand. You must be protected at all costs.”

“Well put, Master,” Ash said with a firm nod.

“There’s something else…,” Tristan said, feeling tense again as the others gave him their full attention. “I only mention it because it’s been nagging at me since Akane said it and I just… I can’t drop the feeling that it’s right…” Tristan glanced at Lilith. He had yet to confront her with a truth he needed confirming and now was as good a time as any.

Ash got a sour look on her face, no doubt angry with the kitsune for the rouse that started the whole serious of unfortunate events.

But curious, Innokentiy spoke up. “The local kitsune? They are infinitely old. What’d Akane tell you?”

“Her theory on the Uruwashi’s creation.”

One of Innokentiy’s brows lifted. “The Uruwashi were humans who stole the vampire virus and mutated it to fit their needs. That is fact, dear boy.”

He shook his head. “Maybe to you vampire but the kitsune’s theory… I don’t know but it really rings a clearer truth to me.”