White Raven (23 page)

Aspyn was a Black Crow.

I scowled. “It doesn’t really matter what Zane and I do, does it?” It was a chance, assuming Aspyn knew, but I figured in my current mood, I had nothing to lose.

“Hmm. I knew there was something eating away at you, and I don’t blame you for being pissed. Not that Zander isn’t a prize, but Zane’s the jackpot.”

“You’re so not helping.”

Aspyn chose a daring red polish. “I see your point. But…I don’t think you’re the kind of girl who follows the rules.”

She had a point. “I’m not.”

“That’s what I thought. So again I ask, is Zane a superior kisser or what?”

My lips twitched. I had to think that Aspyn had been put into my path today just when I needed that boost. She was absolutely right. Zane was a fantastic kisser.

Chapter 23

Home. Sweet home.

“Rose!” I screamed, her name bellowing through the glass palace as I stepped into the circular foyer.

Fat wad of good it did. I went over to the intercom system and stared at all the buttons. If I went searching for her, it could take all day. This was the fastest method. Spamming every button until they all lit up, I wanted her to hear me no matter where she was in the house. Even the bathroom.

“Rose.” I flinched at the electronic sound of my voice. “I need to—”

“Piper? What is going on?” she demanded.

I spun around, a renewed anger whipping through me. “How could you?” My voice shook.

She stood in one of four doorways, dressed in a white flowing dress, arms crossed. “Why are you yelling?”

The condescending tone was like dousing fuel on the flame. My anger spiked, a haze of red clouding my vision. “You are a liar and a fraud. You never cared about me. All you wanted was for me to be an idle pawn in your pathetic attempt for power.”

A normal person might have winced or displayed any emotion. Rose showed none. She wasn’t capable of them. She folded her arms. “It isn’t power I am after. Believe it or not, I am trying to save your life.”

“By making me marry someone I don’t know! I don’t love!”

Her silver hair was pulled into a bun as tight as her lips. “It’s more complex; trust me.”

“That’s just it. I don’t trust you. And can you blame me? All you’ve done since I arrived on this retched island is lie to me, keep secrets from me. At least Zane has the decency to be honest with me.”

“Why don’t we have tea and talk? Soothe the negative energy.”

Tea? Was she shitting me? Did I look like someone who wanted to drink tea?
“Screw your negative energy. I don’t want tea. I want answers. I want you to tell me it’s bullshit.” The woman was off her bloody rocker.

She let out an audible sigh. “Then let’s step outside.” Her arms gestured to the wide-open door, a speckle of white feathered on the apples of her cheeks. “A walk through the gardens will do us both good and give us privacy.”

“Whatever,” I shot back. I was so worked up I could have run a marathon and not broken a sweat.

With loud, sullen strides, I followed her outside, sincerely doubting that smelling the roses was going to calm the turbulent storm inside me. As unattainable as it was, I still was holding onto a shred of hope that this whole thing was a cruel joke and Zane was just an a-hole.

Not worried about thorns or sharp rocks, she walked barefoot under the vine-cloaked archway. “It’s true.”

And there went my dash of hope, crushed by two simple words.

“Before the end of next summer, you will marry Zander,” she stated without hesitation.

Just like that. No questions asked.
Fall in line, Piper, like a good girl
. She was batshit crazy. Before I could let a string of colorful swear words fly, she was rambling on, attempting to reason her actions. “If there had been any other way, we wouldn’t be having this tiff.”

Tiff was putting it mildly. I was a grain of salt away from losing my shit. “I know you’re old, but for Christ’s sake, this isn’t the eighteenth century.” A branch brushed against my leg, and I couldn’t have cared less. “Explain to me why I should even consider marrying Zander. Why I shouldn’t take the next ferry back home.” I wasn’t convinced she didn’t have an ulterior motive.

Then there was Zander. He couldn’t possibly agree to this harebrained scheme, could he? He was just a pawn like I was, right?

I thought about our date.

Was this whole betrothal the reason he had asked me out, in a lame attempt to get to know his bride-to-be? I wanted to gag. The sweet, floral scent of the gardens was making my stomach churn.

“It is the only way to safeguard that chaos doesn’t erupt,” Rose said, plucking a petal from a nearby pink flowering bush. “If the rebels succeed in diminishing the last Raven, there will be nothing to stop them from destroying everything and everyone. Including all the loved ones we leave behind.”

I thought of TJ, Parker, and even Mrs. Youleg down the hall. “This is so surreal,” I grumbled.

“I know this is a lot to put on your shoulders, but there isn’t time to waste. I need you, Piper—although, I do wish that things had turned out differently and we’d been given the chance to bond as family should, to teach you. I was foolish to think that a summer here a Raven Manor could do that. The only choice we have left is for you to accept your fate. You are my successor. The last White Raven.”

Dun. Dun. Dun.

There was such finality to her words.

The problem was, I was still hung up on being engaged. She had just taken a quantum leap in a different direction. One crisis at a time was all my brain could handle; dealing with my White Raven responsibilities would have to wait.

I sunk down onto a wooden bench. “Can we just back up a moment? When did I say I wanted any of this? I’m not sure I can even be a Raven.”

Her eyes were sharp, and I thought I saw just a smidge of desperation. She wholeheartedly believed this farce of an engagement was her last thread of hope. “It’s in your blood. Don’t let your mother’s death be in vain. We must stop the rebellion before it goes too far.”

Low blow. How had I suddenly been thrown into the middle of a reaper war? “You can guarantee that if I agree, there will be no rebellion? No one will die?” I wondered if reapers believed in divorce. Something told me the answer was no. It was a death-do-us-part commitment.

“There is never a one hundred percent in life. The sectors wouldn’t dare challenge you with the Crows at your side. The Black Crows are the strongest sector. And your children would reign without fear or struggle.”

“Children?” I squawked.

Ah. Hell no.

When I thought about the father of my very, very distant children, Zander did not come to mind. I pictured a little boy with ice blue eyes and midnight hair, a miniature Zane.

This was bad.

She nodded, emerald eyes holding mine. “Of course. You must also produce an heir. It is your duty as a Raven and is written as part of the contract to ensure that the Raven line lives on.”

I choked. Marrying Zander was one thing, but doing the nasty… Possibly more than once. Possibly more than one child. What if I had a boy? The heir had to be a girl. Uh-uh. Not good. The idea of sharing a bed with Zander felt like incest. We might not be related, but I couldn’t picture us being intimate.

I shuddered. “That is a deal breaker.”

She sat down beside me, trying to be patient and failing. “I know you have feelings for the troublesome Hunter.”

It wasn’t posed as a question. “And does it make a flying fig of difference?”

“No.”

My whole body slumped. That was not the answer I wanted.

The sun sparkled off the whitish glow of her skin. “I can’t alter the contract. A deal with Death is unbreakable. If I had known…”

“I get it. You’re not a fortuneteller. Your powers are limited.” It was time to play dirty. “Did you ever think to wait and let me decide? That I might have been willing given a choice?”

Her green eyes flashed. Shocker. I undermined her power and she puffed her chest, kind of like a guy. “You have much to learn, Piper,” she said, going all Yoda on me. “I did what I thought was best. I know Zane cares for you, but he was given an order. The first time I let it slide, but I only give one favor.”

White-hot fury yanked through me. “Don’t threaten Zane,” I growled through gritted teeth. “He has only been honest with me, which is more than I can say about my own blood. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

“You couldn’t be more wrong, Piper. I’ve been exactly where you are now.” She had her hands folded neatly in her lap, but the emotion in her eyes deceived her quiet disposition. “Roarke is my…I guess you would say soul mate. Like you and Zane, our souls resonate.”

I choked. “Zane’s father?”

She nodded with a hint of a smile on her mulberry lips. “But I was already promised as you are. Whatever you are feeling right now, I can tell you I felt it, too. And I don’t regret the choice. Not in the least. I cared deeply for your grandfather. He made me very happy.”

If that was her way of trying to pacify me, to show me it isn’t as bad as I imaged, she botched. It was disturbing thinking about Rose with Roarke. Although I never knew my grandfather, he had passed before I was born, it seemed wrong to know he wasn’t the love of her life.

“I’m not making any promises. I need time to think, but I need you to know it will be
my
decision. I won’t be forced into doing anything I don’t want to do.”

I didn’t wait for her to dispute. I just walked away, leaving her surrounded by her roses, petunias, and mums. Let her chew on that, stressing over what her reckless granddaughter would or wouldn’t do. It was about time someone else besides me was in the dark.

~*~*~

Zander and me. Me and Zander. It went on a loop in my head, over and over again. I was lying on my back in bed, numb and petrified. Tears welled in my eyes. I didn’t want this pressure, this burden, but here I was, actually considering throwing away my hopes, my dreams, to save those I loved.

It was a gigantic sacrifice. I knew Zander could probably make me happy; however, it was hard to settle when the dreams of a little girl wanted the head-over-heels-in-love deal. What about Zane? How could I marry his brother knowing what was between us? There was nothing calm or quiet about my feelings for Zane. If I married Zander, I would be connected to Zane, forced to see him at family gatherings. Could I do that? Keep my feelings for him hidden? The answer was no. What made it worse was I was sure his family already knew.

I didn’t know who got the shittier end of the stick.

Zander? Zane? Or me?

We all got screwed. Three lives. Disturbed and toyed with.

No matter what choice I made, someone was going to get hurt. Someone would be disappointed. So yet again, I snuggled in for what would be another restless sleep at Raven Manor. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a decent rest, and my body was starting to feel the weariness.

Then it hit me.

I might not ever go home, might never sleep in my room or see Parker. That had been Rose’s intention, for me to stay in Raven Hallow. Sure, I might take trips back for holidays, but if I decided to embrace what I was, Raven Hallow would be my home.

What a drab thought.

I groaned and punched the pillow.

Chapter 24

“I heard through the grapevine that you were hanging out with Aspyn.” Zoe made a distasteful face, like she was sucky on a lemon, when she said Aspyn’s name.

We were sitting at a local sandwich shop, Upper Crust, after Zoe called an emergency friend-er-vention. Normally, I would run for the hills instead of subjecting myself to any form of “girl talk,” but any excuse to get out of Raven Manor, I was grabbing. “I take it you two aren’t friends?”

She took a swig of her drink, the ice sloshing at the bottom. “Try arch enemies.”

“Wonderful,” I said dryly, picking at my turkey club.

As always, Zoe looked beautiful and put together. Her style was envious, maybe because she made it seem so effortless. Today she wore skinny dark denim jeans and a lightweight, floral tank top. The color made her glossy hair and smoky eyes look even more stunning. “Just promise me that you’ll watch yourself around her. There is so much conflict among the reapers; I don’t trust her.”

“But isn’t she a Crow?”

She plucked a kettle chip from her basket. “Not all Crows think it’s a good idea to align our sector with the Ravens. Her family is among the more vocal rebels.” This was why I wasn’t friend with girls. Drama. I didn’t want to have to choose between them, but Zoe was making an arguable case. Being the newbie, I knew next to nothing about the sectors or the people in them. And then she said, “She’s been throwing herself at Zane since they could walk.”

It was irrational jealousy, but I couldn’t snuff the territorial feeling. So what if there was a stupid contract with my name on it? I couldn’t change how I felt, and somehow the jerk had weaseled his way into my heart without trying.

“You know, if you keep scowling like that, those wrinkles will be everlasting.” She popped the chip in her mouth, crunching away.

I rolled my eyes, picking up my pickle spear.

“Cheer up, buttercup.”

“I wish it were that easy.”

“Is being a reaper that bad?” she asked between sips of her iced tea, eyeing me thoughtfully.

I shouldn’t have been surprised Zoe didn’t care who heard us. I, on the other hand, was still very uncomfortable with the R-word when it was in relation to me. It didn’t matter much that everyone in the café was probably aware of my social status. Hearing her admit I was a reaper did very little to settle the pit that had taken up residency in my belly. Me? With supernatural abilities? It was laughable.

I stole a quick glance around before my eyes landed on my wrist. The little white raven was clearer now, which probably had everything to do with my gradual acceptance. “I don’t know if it’s good or bad. There is so much I don’t know, don’t understand.”

“Ask away,” she said. “I’m an open book.”

Taking a bite of my sandwich, I chewed slowly, thinking. “What kind of, you know, abilities do you have, besides destroying and collecting souls?”

She grinned. “Because I have a twin, my skills are unique. Zach is my counterpart. I can erase memories, which is pretty freaking handy when humans see things they shouldn’t.”

“I’ll say.” I was a little bit in awe, but the idea of screwing with people’s heads was sort of intimidating. It wasn’t a power I would want to be responsible for.

Her eyes lit up with excitement. “Zach can restore them. He’ll tell you he got gypped, but I’m not complaining. That’s what he gets for being born four minutes earlier. Good things come to those who wait.”

I toyed with my straw. “At least you guys know what you can do. I feel at such a disadvantage.”

She shrugged, her silky hair falling over one shoulder. “You can learn. I could teach you,” she said, like it was the brightest idea she’d ever had. “It would be so much fun.”

Fun was subjective. I wasn’t so sure spending the remainder of my summer training to be a reaper was what I would call fun. It sounded a lot like work. “Zane said he would help me, too.”

Her dark brows rose slightly. “I just bet he did. You are the first girl Zane has ever offered to train. He’s different with you.”

“Yeah, he spends more time threatening me than the others.”

Laughter erupted from Zoe, drawing the attention of every eye in the café. I couldn’t blame them. She had a vibrant and sultry laugh. It deserved attention. “That’s his way of showing he cares.”

I sunk in my seat. “As much as I hate physical exercise, I might have to take you both up on the offer.” I wasn’t sure how much time Zane and I could spend together without ripping each other’s clothes off or engaging in verbal combat. “I can’t promise to be a model student, but I’m willing to give it a shot.”

“You’re a Raven. This shit will be second nature for you.”

Glad one of us was optimistic. I squirmed in my seat, preparing myself for the question I was about to ask, but I wanted her opinion. “Do you think I should honor the contract that was made for Zander and me?”

Her aqua eyes shifted downward, her voice dropping just above a whisper. “There’s only a small group of trusted individuals that know about the contract. I wouldn’t know if Zane hadn’t confided in me. If you’re asking what I would do in your situation—having to choose between my heart and my duty—I don’t know.”

That wasn’t the answer I was looking for. “Is it selfish that I want more than just a peaceful arrangement? I want—”

“Love,” she supplied. “Who doesn’t? I’m not going to hold it against you.” She reached across the table, placing her hand over mine. “We’re friends, Piper. Things are different for us, but for you especially. I know how you feel about Zane. Any idiot can see it. Your souls literally go erratic when you’re together.”

Unease galloped across my heart. “Does Zander know?”

She nodded.

“Oh God.” I dropped my face into my hands. “This is so weird,” I mumbled, my voice muffled. How could I look him in the face without my cheeks turning the shade of strawberries?

She didn’t miss a beat. “Zander is all about duty and not disappointing our father. He’s had time to warm up to the idea, especially since he got a look at you. It helps that you’re beautiful.”

I snorted, not in the mood for flattery. “I just bet I’m the girl of his dreams.”

“Do you own a mirror?”

“Obviously, I just prefer not to look in it.”

“Well, I’m glad you finally know the truth,” she said, her eyes taking on a catlike quality. “I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep my big mouth from blabbering. It’s still hard to believe that my mind-your-own-business brother spilled the beans.”

“He shouldn’t have had to tell me. My mom should have.” There I said it. As hard as it was, it was the truth. She should have been the one to sit me down and explain I wasn’t entirely human. Finding out the way I had sucked.

“I’m sure it was a hard decision,” Zoe said sympathetically.

“Maybe, but it doesn’t change anything. I’m stuck in the middle of a supernatural war with a giant target on my back,” I grumbled.

“You have a power coveted by many reapers. I can’t say I envy you.”

“Thanks, Zoe. That was extraordinarily helpful.”

Elbows on the table, she leaned toward me. “My dad thinks that the Sparrows are behind the recent attacks on you. He has ears out in every state, listening to the chatter among the sectors.”

That meant very little to me, other than that the Sparrows were the sectors that had little blue birdy marks. “I’m telling you, Zoe, I don’t think I can do this. I want to run. I want to go home, but
Rose
thinks that it is a bad idea.”

“She’s right, Piper. Out there, you’ll have little to no protection.”

“I still can’t believe I need protection.” Curious, I wondered what would happen if I tried to leave the island. Did Rose have guards posted at the docks, ordered to retrieve me if necessary? I didn’t doubt it. I had lived in the worst parts of the city before, and I was in more danger here than I’d ever been there. How warped was that? I looked down at Zoe’s plate and then at mine. She had managed to devour her entire lunch, while mine looked like a squirrel was nibbling on it.

“Are you going to eat that?” she asked, eyeballing my turkey club.

I pushed my plate toward the middle of the table. “Have at it.” She had an appetite like a horse. “How the heck do you stay so skinny?”

She gave me a pearly grin. “High metabolism.”

“Let me guess. Reaper perk?”

“Just one of many. You are going to love being supernatural. It’s the shit.”

Debatable. So far, being a Raven had caused me nothing but heartache and trauma.

She shoved the last piece of crust into her mouth. “Ready? Let’s blow this joint.”

I was right behind her. The smell of fresh bread wasn’t sitting well with the pit of constant worry in my stomach and the ball of unfairness.

Tossing my drink in the trash bin, the door jingled overhead as I pushed it open and lifted my head. The door swung closed behind me as I came eye to eye with my fian—my fianc—I couldn’t even think the word.

Awkward to the max.

Zander stood with the sun glinting at his back, picking up auburn tints in his hair. Surprise leaped into his silvery-violet eyes, mimicking my own. He was wearing a pair of tattered jeans and a white T-shirt. With the windblown hair and laid-back clothes, he reminded me of a surfer.

“Uh, hey.” In the back of my mind, I was trying to figure out how I was supposed to act around him now that I knew. Did he know that I knew? Was he as angry and upset as I was? Did he think it was unfair too? Good grief, I was going to give myself a migraine.

His fingers combed through his hair. “Hey.”

Zoe stifled a giggle. “Text me later?” Then she was out the door, walking down the street.

My eyes got huge. I couldn’t believe she left me. Alone. With Zander. What the hell was I going to say to him?

Absolutely nothing.

“You don’t have to avoid me, you know,” he said as he leaned against the building.

“What? Why would you think I’m avoiding you?”

He angled his head, trying to see my face. “Because you can’t even look me in the eye.”

Right. I was still staring at the invisible spot on his shirt. “I’m sorry. I guess, I don’t know what to say to you,” I openly admitted.

Several seconds passed before he spoke. “We should probably talk.”

My gaze darted up, finally meeting his. “Now?” I screeched like it was the most horrible idea he could suggest.

He gave me an understanding smile, watching me. “If you want, but from the panic in your face, we can wait until you’re ready.”

The thing was I wasn’t sure I would ever be ready to have the
marriage
talk with Zander, but I couldn’t tell him that. “I’m sorry. I’m handling this whole thing horribly.”

“It’s okay. And stop apologizing. You have nothing to be sorry for. For the record, there is no right way to handle this.”

“You’re a good guy…who deserve someone better than me.”

He stared at me a moment. Then his lashes lowered, sweeping his cheeks. “Because you have a thing for my brother?”

I opened my mouth and quickly clamped it shut, unable to believe what I had been about to blurt out. I hadn’t even admitted to myself what my feelings were for Zane. This was not how I wanted it to go.

“Look, Piper, I would never force you to do something you don’t want to do. I just needed to get that off my chest.”

His understanding tugged at my heart. I nodded.

“Let me walk you home.”

“Thanks, but it’s not necessary. You haven’t even eaten yet.”

“It’s not safe for you,” he argued.

“I get that, but I need some time to myself, to think. There’s a lot on my mind.” Hint. Hint.

Indecision spanned in his gray eyes, and I knew he was hassling with himself. It was sweet. Zander was nice. Too nice. With turmoil in his expression, he nodded and let me walk away.

I gave him credit. But the stroll along the beach helped settle my nerves. So it was only fitting, that just when things seemed calm, the shit storm hit.