White Trash Witch

Chapter 1
-
Alter-Ations

Chapter 2
- Funky Tour Guide

Chapter 3
- Tour Day

Chapter 4
- Bending instincts

Chapter 5
- The Unveiling

Chapter 6
- Courted by a hunk!

Chapter 7
- Distant love

Chapter 8
- Pride Goeth…

About The Author

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by Franny Armstrong

Choking and coughing, Wiley Vaughan waved her hands
in front of her, trying to dispel the thick grey cloud of smoke
that filled the air in the basement room. It was so dense that she
was barely able to see, let alone breathe.

"Wiley! What the hell are you doing?" her best
friend, Natalie Bowman cried, coughing as she fanned her arms.

The smoke alarm upstairs went off, and the two women
could hear footsteps thumping across the ceiling toward the
basement door.

"I'm trying out a purification spell! It says I'm
supposed to use sage and cedar." Holding her hand over her nose,
she tried to open the window.

"Wiley, what have you done now? Is there a fire?" her
mother shouted from the top of the stairs.

"No, Mrs. Vaughan. It's a smudge stick. Wiley simply
went a little far with the cleansing," Nat said, coughing.

Gasping, Wiley's mother cried, "Get some
water and put it out, Wiley, you're smoking out the whole house!"
She slammed the door shut.

"Sorry, Mom. I'm on it!" Wiley yelled. Having finally
released the latch and opened the window, Wiley took a glass of
water and poured it over the smudge stick.

A few minutes later the alarm turned off, and the
women could finally see each other.

"Wiley, what is that?" Natalie asked, pointing to the
smudge dish.

"It's cedar, Nat. What did you think it was, wacky
tobaccie?"

"You aren't supposed to use the green parts, Wiley,
only the dried cedar wood."

"Oh. Well, why doesn't it say so in the directions?"
she grumbled, dumping the wet glob into the waste basket. Suddenly
there was a tiny explosion, like a fireworks rocket, that set off
in the small bowl in the center of the table, and both women
screamed.

Grabbing a metal bowl, Wiley placed it upside down
over the still sparking dish, and sighed. She wondered why some
days things just didn't go the way she planned. Okay, it was most
days, but who was counting?

"Are you sure you're supposed to leave bananas on the
altar?" Nat asked, eyeing the fruit dubiously.

Grinning, Wiley picked up the fruit and peeled it
back, taking a big bite.

"It's a sacrifice. An offering. I didn't have any
apples to leave on it, so I used a banana." After waving the
half-eaten the banana at her friend, she threw it over her shoulder
where it landed on the altar.

"Right. Ah, I thought you researched all this Wicca
stuff."

"Sure I did, but the Internet is full of crap. One
site said that I should use a goat as a sacrifice! Who in their
right mind would use a goat? It's the millennium for crying out
loud! I'm sticking with the ‘harming none and helping all' theory,
and that includes animals! Besides, the only goat I know of around
here belongs to Mr. Graham, and he'd be really ticked if I swiped
it."

"Well, what are you sacrificing to the powers that be
anyway?"

"I want to meet the perfect man. One who doesn't have
a ton of money and isn't gorgeous. He has to be an average Joe with
a modest income, kind, gentle, thoughtful, and sweet."

"That sounds utterly boring to me."

"After my experiences with men, I know what I'm
doing, believe me. I can't live in Mom and Dad's house for the rest
of my life. I need stability, and I want a family of my own."

"Okay, I get the picture," Nat said, rolling her
eyes. "We'd better get going or we'll be late for work…again."

"I'm never late for work!"

Nat tilted her head slightly and gave Wiley a ‘gimme
a break' look.

"Fine! So maybe I'm late once in a while."

Nat raised her eyebrow.

"All right! So I'm late often. We'll get there on
time, I promise."

Ten minutes later they sat in Wiley's car, stuck at a
train crossing while a long train moved slowly by. Very slowly!

"Excellent, we have our female. She is in desperate
need of our services," Serafina said, filing her perfectly
French-manicured nail. Her golden hair fell in flawless array down
one shoulder, resting on a vivid white gown. Alabaster skin glowed
with health around sea-blue eyes. She was a vision of
perfection

"Absolutely. She's a menace to society. We have to
help her, and we'd better work fast before you know who shows up."
Zaniel agreed, flexing his brilliant white wings.

"Now, we must find the male."

"I think I already have. Follow me," he said, and
they disappeared into thin air. They reappeared in an office
building in front of a man, who sat at his desk going over files,
and typing on his computer.

"Here we are. A misguided soul. He hides from the
world, protecting his heart, and his wallet equally. Just like
Wiley, he’s afraid to love for fear of getting hurt a second time.
We need to give him a sign," Zaniel said, looking around the room
for something.

"Here, let's try this, Zan." Serafina waved her hand
and grinned.

Another angel appeared, this one having dark wings,
and dressed in black.

"What are you two up to?"

"None of your business, Nigel. Come on Zan, let's
go."

"I'll be watching carefully. It's my turn to win.
This guy doesn't have a chance."

"We'll see," Sarafina said, her smile blinding.

As he drove down the highway, Duncan Ryder checked
his rear-view mirror again, and searched for a tail. A black
minivan was visible three cars back. He decided to try losing him
as he came up to a sign on the shoulder that said, ‘Welcome'.

"A town named Welcome. Great idea," he said as he
slipped over to the collector lane and slammed on the breaks as he
cut across the gradient and swerved onto the off ramp.

Horns sounded as he righted the car.

"Yes!" he shouted, watching the van sail past.

Knowing that the men tailing him would be back
looking in Welcome, he decided to take some back roads, and lose
himself in the country.

He drove for half-an-hour before his gas light came
on.

"Damn! I thought I had at least half a tank left!" he
cursed. A sign up ahead said that he was in the town of Salem.

"Okay, so where is the town?" he wondered. He found a
bed and breakfast with a long tree-lined driveway, and pulled in,
driving as far around the back as he could get to hide the car.

"I guess I'd better don my disguise," he
muttered.

In the visor mirror, he saw a handsome man with
black, curly hair, and vibrant blue eyes that held a hint of
mischief. His chiseled features had many a woman lining up for a
date with him.

The chant he used quickly changed him from a
six-feet-five inch hunk with a full head of hair, into a balding
blonde man a few inches shorter. Only his eyes didn't change as he
put on glasses and watched as his square jaw softened, while the
dimples in his cheeks and chin disappeared.

He kept his trim figure, but remembered to hunch over
a bit as he got out of the car. Waving his hand over it, he made
the high-end blue Pontiac appear to be a beat up old grey Ford.
Then he altered the plates.

By the time he entered the Witch Trials End, he was a
whole new man sporting comfortable casual clothing.

The Bed and Breakfast was an old farmhouse that had a
wide granny porch surrounding three sides of the building. The roof
was made of old tin, and the trim had a delicate antique flair
about it that was enchanting. After knocking on the old oak door,
he waited, smiling when a middle aged man answered.

"Hello. Come on in. Are you looking to stay one
night, or more?" the man said. He was tall and lean, his face lined
with wrinkles, the kind that said he laughed, often.

"I thought I'd stay tonight, and see how it
goes."

"I'm Walter, and this is my companion Jeffrey," he
said, letting Ryder know that they were a couple, and watching his
face as though waiting to see if he still chose to stay.

Jeffrey was no taller than five-feet-six, and had
short spiked silver hair and a moustache. He had a slight belly,
and carried himself in a shy manner.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Ryder Williams." Since William
was his middle name, Ryder used it as his alias.

There was almost a sigh of relief in the air as
Walter took his bag.

"We have a nice room that faces the road, or one with
a view of the creek out back."

"I think I'd like the road view, thanks," he said,
thinking that he could watch for his tail.

"If you'll just sign in, and write down your license
plate, we'll get you settled."

A few minutes later, he was alone in his room,
staring out of the window. He'd lost them, finally.

Ryder was a rich man. Actually, he was a stinking
rich man. He'd won a lottery when he was in his early twenties, and
had wisely invested in computers. Now he owned Ryder Technologies,
a large computer manufacturer.

‘Gotta Ryder', was the motto used to market the
computers, which had increased his sales by nearly forty percent in
the first year alone.

Being a computer genius helped when it came to
troubleshooting technical issues. He had finished high school three
years early, and gone straight to university since his IQ was so
high it practically hit the ceiling.

The only downside to his claim to fame was that he
was constantly bombarded by people who wanted a piece of him. Some
wanted his technology, others his money. Women were the biggest
problem of all, since they wanted him for his looks, and his money!
The fact that he was a modern-day wizard was nothing compared to
the rest of his assets, and he was sick of the game.

He just wanted to meet someone who would like him for
who he was, not what he had. He was beginning to doubt that there
was a woman on the whole planet who would like him for himself.

Staring in the mirror at his disguised body, he
decided to stay. After dressing in jeans and a blue plaid shirt, he
went downstairs.

Jeffrey stood at the counter, and smiled when Ryder
walked up to him.

"Hi, Jeffrey. I was wondering where there's a good
place to eat around here."

Smiling, Jeffrey nodded. "The only place in this town
is the Salem On Buy, a few miles down the road. The food's great.
Turn right when you leave the driveway, you can't miss it. There's
a big sailboat on top of the building. Best home fries I've ever
had."

"Thanks. Can I bring you anything back?" Ryder
asked.

"No thank you, Mr. Williams. Walter is a gourmet
cook, and makes everything we need. Perhaps he can make you dinner
if you decide to stay for a few days."

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you, Jeffrey. I'll see
you later. Oh, and please, call me Ryder."

Ryder was surprised when Jeffery blushed, and then
said, "Thank you. I'll do that, Ryder. Have a nice dinner. Diana
puts on a good spread."

"Great. I'm starving," Ryder said, waving as he left
the building.

Ryder climbed into his car and headed down the road,
finding the restaurant in no time. He had enough gas to get back to
the B&B, and would fill up at the nearest gas station the next
day if he decided to move on. When he pulled into the driveway and
got out, he left the altered car in front.

As he climbed the steps, he noted the thick sailor's
rope wrapped along the railing. The ship on top of the building
looked a bit aged, but in top shape, the sails white and crisp.

The door had a window that was an actual ship's
porthole, which was made out of brass. Once inside, Ryder looked
around the comfortable room. Fish netting was draped along the
walls, accented with starfish and fishing gear over a mural of the
ocean. A large tank held an assortment of saltwater fish.