Why We Broke Up (27 page)

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Authors: Daniel Handler

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BOOK: Why We Broke Up
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Daniel Handler
has written novels for grown-ups under his own name, including
The Basic Eight, Watch Your Mouth
, and
Adverbs
, and several books for younger readers under the name Lemony Snicket, such as those in A Series of Unfortunate Events and
13 Words
. He was dumped at least three times in high school.

 

Maira Kalman
has written and illustrated books for grown-ups, including
And the Pursuit of Happiness
and
The Principles of Uncertainty
, as well as many for children, including
13 Words
and
Fireboat
. Her heart was broken in high school first by a boy who looked like Bob Dylan and shortly thereafter by one who looked like Leonard Cohen.

 

 

“When my heart was broken and I was fifteen, I listened to Lou Reed’s
Berlin
over and over and walked around a lot in the rain while my friends followed me looking worried and imploring me not to do anything stupid. Well, stupider than walking around in the rain, anyway.”


NEIL GAIMAN
, author of
The Graveyard Book

 

“I was heartbroken when my boyfriend announced he was moving to Chicago without me. But, oh yeah, I could keep his guitar amp. Thanks.”


SARA SHEPARD
, author of the Pretty Little Liars series

 

“I knew I had to break up with Ann Rosenberg after she chose a teal dress for the prom. I had never heard of teal. Also, I was gay.”


BRIAN SELZNICK
, author and illustrator of
The Invention of Hugo Cabret

 

“He broke my heart. Then I broke his. I laughed at his pain.”


JUDY BLUNDELL
, author of
What I Saw and How I Lied

 

“The first boy I fell in love with didn’t know I loved him, but he managed to break my heart anyway.”


HOLLY BLACK
, author of
White Cat

 

“When Patti Fox broke up with me, I typed her name over a thousand times on my manual Olivetti until the entire page was beaten into a stiff sheet of black ink.”


JACK GANTOS
, author of
Hole in My Life

 

“My heart was sort of broken when my freshman-year boyfriend ended it on Valentine’s Day. But mostly it was broken because I had to return his records.”


SARA ZARR
, author of
Sweethearts

 

“The boy I loved didn’t know I existed. Then again, he was obsessed with Camus, so he didn’t know if any of us existed.”


DAVID LEVITHAN
, coauthor of
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist
and
Will Grayson, Will Grayson

 

“Of course I had my heart broken as a teen. I was desperately in love with myself. Then I found out that I was completely shallow. I haven’t spoken to myself since.”


M. T. ANDERSON
, author of
The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing

 

“My heart was broken the spring of my senior year in high school. We broke up in a park outside of town, and as I drove him home, he read me what he’d written in my yearbook. The line that really made me sob? ‘You will always be my Princess Bride.’ Sniff.”


CAROLYN MACKLER
, author of
Tangled
and
The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Things

 

Join the Project at
www.whywebrokeupproject.com

 
Contents
 

Front Cover Image

Welcome

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

About the Creators

More Heartbreak

Copyright

Copyright
 

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Text copyright © 2011 by Daniel Handler / Art copyright © 2011 by Maira Kalman

All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

Little, Brown and Company

Hachette Book Group / 237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017

www.hachettebookgroup.com

First e-book edition: December 2011

Little, Brown and Company is a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

The Little, Brown name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.

ISBN: 978-0-316-19458-7

Cover design by Gail Doobinin.

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