Authors: Bella Love-Wins
I
sprang
out of bed and raced to get ready. I needed to see Amanda before she left for the airport. Her repeated declaration about not doing relationships was still fresh in my mind. I couldn’t voice the affection I had for her. Not yet. It was banging around in my head, begging to be spoken out loud, but as she was so adamant, I couldn’t risk her shutting down on me.
She had to have a reason, or maybe several reasons why she didn’t want to be in a relationship. And although I desperately wanted to find out what they were, I was not about to back her into a corner by bringing it up so soon. I’d find a way to get her to tell me herself, instead of trying to uncover it. Otherwise, I would probably be too brash and scare her off. For now, I just wanted to see her.
I hurried from my bedroom and stepped across the hall. Amanda didn’t answer when I knocked. I turned the handle of her door and looked inside. Her bed was made. There was no trace of her. I hurried downstairs, hoping to catch her before the driver left. Kevin’s car was in the driveway, but Amanda was gone. Shit. It was disappointing. I returned inside, thinking at least I got to help make things right with that check. Kevin had gone off the deep end earlier. My blood boiled all over again whenever I replayed it in my head. I wasn’t known for being violent, but it would take me some extra effort not to punch him in the face if he even dared to show up at the house today.
I circled back to the kitchen to pour myself a coffee. I had just sat at the table when my phone started buzzing in my pocket. I pulled it out, hoping to see Amanda’s number lit up on the screen. It was a number I didn’t recognize. I pressed the ignore button and turned it off before shoving it back into my pocket. I never answered unknown numbers.
Moments later, the doorbell rang. It couldn’t be Kevin. He had a key, and wouldn’t bat an eye to barge in whenever he felt like it, just like last night. And his car had been outside when I checked before. It turned out to be Agent Carlson and his team of FBI agents. My mind had been too absorbed with Amanda and what we did last night. I barely remembered they would be here today. I let them all inside, and Agent Carlson introduced each of them to me. After the pleasantries, I showed them to the large spare office they could use while they were here at the house.
Kevin emerged from his office after Agent Carlson and his team had settled in. No one could mistake the animosity we had for each other today. It would be best if we didn’t have to interact at all, except the FBI insisted on a morning briefing with us both—every day for the duration of the investigation. After that was finished, we made a point of staying out of each other’s way. When we did happen to cross paths, the only expression I could muster was a resentful scowl. He had really crossed the line this time.
Because we were scheduled to kick off our travel the next day, my schedule was wide open. I spent most of the morning packing and speaking with the FBI. After lunch, I returned to my room and continued working on two song ideas I had been kicking around for a couple of weeks. I was just minutes in when Amanda was on my mind again. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. At one point I thought she might call and back out of the job completely. In a way, I couldn’t blame her if she did. She had been through a lot, and we were asking for her to move mountains for this assignment; not to mention having to put up with my fixation on her.
Along those obsessive lines, I scanned her social media pages. There was no activity. All I could do was wait. But waiting was not enough anymore. The last three years was enough waiting. I pulled my phone from my pocket, and bit the bullet.
“
H
ello
?” I answered.
I loosened the towel wrapped around my wet hair, trying to get the phone up closer to my ear.
“Hey. It’s Johnny.”
“Hi. What’s up?”
“Not much. Are you at home?”
“Yes. I got in about half-hour ago.”
“I just wanted to call…to see how your flight went…and make sure you’re okay.”
“Yes. All good here. About to start packing. I’m just relaxing for a little bit before I get to it.”
“Cool. So it’s still a go.”
“Of course. Why? Did something happen?”
“No, no. Everything is just as it was before you flew out.”
“Very good.”
“So where are you right now? Are you in bed, or lounging in a sofa?”
“Um…sofa. Why? And what’s with the sexy voice in the middle of the day?”
“I was thinking about you. About last night…or this morning. You know what I mean.”
“Yes. Okay…” I didn’t know what to say. “What about it?”
“How would you like it if I were with you right now, kneeling between your legs, eating your sweet pussy?” His voice groaned it out in a deep, torrid tone.
Jesus. Phone sex? “I just got in, Johnny. And I got almost no sleep last night, thanks to you.”
“Wasn’t it worth it?”
“I’m still debating that,” I told him, but his voice already had me aroused. I just hoped he would let it go so I could get some things done.
“I can just imagine the look you’d have on your face if I were there right now, Amanda. Tell me, what are you wearing?”
I tried to answer in the flattest, most matter-of-fact tone possible. “I don’t have much time right now. You know my flight back is tomorrow.” He was silent on the other end of the line, so I said, “A robe. I had a shower as soon as I got in.”
He groaned. “I’d have that robe of yours hiked up past your hips. I’d spread your legs wide, and lick you until you scream for me…Are you wet, baby?”
I was already wet when he mentioned spreading my legs and eating me out, but I didn’t admit it. “Phone sex? Seriously, Johnny? I never would have guessed that about you in a million years.”
“Come on. You miss me. Admit it, because I can’t stop thinking about you. I’m hard as a rock just remembering last night.”
My need betrayed me as I pictured his massive cock entering me, and I let out a soft moan.
“Are you touching yourself?” He continued. “I don’t mind if you think about me when you’re pleasuring yourself, Amanda; especially if you keep moaning like that for me.”
“I’m not…I…don’t…” I tried to ignore him, but I couldn’t remember what I was going to say. Shit. He had me craving his touch in less than a minute.
“Trust me, Amanda. I’ll make you come over this phone, if you let me.”
“I…I have to go now.”
I hung up on him, but it was already too late. Damn him. I was wet, and my clit throbbed for him. God, what the hell did I get myself into? I put the phone down and turn on the TV to distract myself. His voice was still at the back of my mind, telling me what he would do to me. I was infected with a primal need. My free hand moved down my stomach and under the robe. Minutes later my phone buzzed again. He sent me a text, asking if I was touching myself yet.
I was about to put the phone on mute when he called again. I couldn’t even speak when I pressed the Call Answer button.
He didn’t wait for me to say a word. “Tell me the truth, Amanda. Your fingers are working your clit right now, aren’t they?” he asked.
I didn’t answer, but my clit tingled under my touch as he spoke.
He growled through the phone. “Tell me.”
“Yes,” I managed to whisper.
“Fuck,” he moaned. “How wet are you?”
“Mmmm.” I instantly felt a heat spreading out from my core. “Very.”
“What would you want me to do if I were there?”
“Oh God.” I was so close to coming. “I…I can’t do this, Johnny.”
“Keep touching it, baby. It’s my tongue licking you, making your hips move…”
It was no use. I turned on the speakerphone. I spread my legs and undid the belt of my robe. My thumb flicked my clit wildly, and I sank three fingers into my soaking wet pussy.
“I wish you were here,” I whimpered, almost regretting the confession.
“Me too. I’m in my bed, stroking my thick cock. It’s hard for you, baby. I can picture you sinking that tight pussy down hard on it.”
“Fuck.”
“I’d undo your robe and bury my head in between your gorgeous breasts. I’d lick and tease those firm nipples one by one. You’ll be riding my cock and begging me to go deeper.”
“Oh fuck, Johnny.” My hips jerked on my probing fingers as I felt the wave of a climax approaching.
“My hands are tight around your waist now. I’m pulling you down on my shaft, baby. Can you feel my cock slamming into your tight pussy until you come? Come for me, Amanda.”
“Yes baby…Oh God…”
I cried out my orgasm and let the pleasure spread throughout my trembling body. He ground out a guttural moan. I could tell he had come too.
“God, baby,” he said afterward, panting for air. “I love it when you come for me. That was so good. I can’t wait until you get back here.”
I had to cut this off. “I’ve got to go now. I’ll speak to you later, okay? Bye.”
F
riday morning finally arrived
. By then I was more than eager to see Amanda. Kevin had already arranged to have the driver pick her up. I was not going to let that opportunity to spend one-on-one time with her slip through my fingers—not when we were about to board a plane with Kevin, the FBI and possibly a few others in my entourage. Going on tour meant spending an insane about of time with little to no privacy.
“Johnny, I need you to focus on what I’m asking you,” Kevin said.
He sat at the dining room table, all of his tour paperwork spread out around his laptop. He was finalizing a timeline for the agents to keep on hand during the first leg of the tour. This was probably going to be one of the more complex timelines. It involved the flight to Greece, helicopters to the private island, a ferry for all the equipment, and ground transportation to drive to the concert location. I still didn’t understand why Kevin had agreed to this particular stop on the tour. We rarely did private events anymore. This one was a performance to some princess for her twenty-first birthday party on her family’s private island.
All morning, Kevin’s phone had been ringing non-stop. Tour preparations were coming to a head. His assistant handled most of the logistics, but Kevin was the decision-maker. Each time I heard his ringtone, I perked up. I was waiting for one particular call on my own phone.
I sat at the table and glanced over his paperwork, not focusing on anything specific. “What’s the question?”
“Do we need to talk about this?” Kevin asked, setting his phone down and looking up at me.
“Talk about what?”
“Don’t bullshit me, Johnny. You know full well what I’m talking about.”
“Oh, I know,” I replied, unable to mask the sarcasm in my voice, now that the frustration rose back to the surface. “You’re referring to the fact that you not only tell me what to eat, when to sleep, what to sing, and where to sing it; you now also want to start telling me who I can and cannot be interested in.”
“Stop being a child. Johnny, you’re a grown man, it’s time to start acting it.”
I jumped up out of my chair. “I’ve been an adult for years. This is the first time you seemed to notice. Why the hell do you think you still get to tell me how to do anything? This is my life. Mine! You still don’t seem to realize that.”
“I know. I’m not trying to control you, Johnny. I’m trying to help you. Do you remember when you first came to me, and told Lady you wanted to play music and be in a band?” Kevin paused, as if waiting for me to conjure up the memory. “I told you, if you committed yourself, Lady and I would make it happen. You said you would commit, so we got you the best vocal coaches, the best music lessons, we found you mentors, agents, publicity, everything you needed!”
“Is that what this is about? Some commitment I made years ago? Kevin, I was a teenager!” I threw my arms in the air, exasperated by how he seemed to live in the past. “Take an honest look at me, Kevin. Tell me why you’re still trying to hold me to some standard you set for me when I was a child. An orphan with dead parents and no reason to live!”
The room went silent. I braced myself on the back on one of the dining chairs and stared down at the tabletop. I could feel Kevin’s gaze on me, but would not look up to meet his eyes. The pain was too raw at even the most remote mention of my parents’ death.
“I’m sorry, Lorne,” Kevin finally said.
He rarely used my legal name. Coming from him, it sounded foreign to me. I had become Johnny Q Venom around sixteen. At the time, when Kevin had first suggested it, I latched on right away. It was my alter ego, a facade I could put on and wear like a new skin. I could trash hotel rooms, chase women, do crazy shit, and drink too much. And none of it was really me; it was Johnny.
Over time, the line between the two had blurred. And in the past few years, I had found myself itching to get out of that skin. I just wasn’t sure it was possible. Something about meeting Amanda made me sure I could pull it off. She would understand. I was positive she would like Lorne.
Kevin continued. “You might have started this path as a way to disconnect from your turmoil. But you have to admit that in the process, you found the thing you were born to do. You were made to do this, Johnny. Making music and entertaining is your gift. Lady and I both saw it from an early age, long before your parents…a long time before they passed. You would copy Lady and her band members when they practiced, and you could enchant every person in the room. You’re a performer. It’s not an easy road to follow, and that’s why I’ve pushed you so hard. I know you can handle the demands, and it’s clear when you’re out there on stage. That’s where you come alive.”
I was still pissed at him, but he was right.
“You’ve climbed too high to give it all up now,” he added. “This is what you want, this is what you, what
we
have busted our asses for over the last decade. This tour is the beginning of the rest of your career. And after this, the fall tour will give you even more options. You’re so close to where you can call all the shots. That’s why I’m so hard on you.”
“Okay,” I answered. The fight had drained out of me. I couldn’t argue with the truth anymore. His methods may have been extreme, but we both wanted the same thing. More or less.
“So what are you going to do about Amanda?” Kevin asked after a few minutes.
I thought we were making progress, but that question got my guard up again. “What about her?”
“She’s a distraction from everything you’ve been working for.”
“Is there something I’m missing? You’ve never done this much interfering when it comes to the women around me.”
“I’m not missing anything, Johnny. It’s clear she means more to you than anyone else you’ve shown an interest in. And in this case, we need her close. That’s a dangerous mix, and don’t even try to deny it either.
“She’s not a distraction,” I said firmly, hoping that would bring an end to the discussion.
“I’ve been in this business for a long, long time—”
“Something you won’t let anyone forget, least of all me—” I added.
He cleared his throat and continued, “And I’ve seen careers melt down over this exact kind of thing. Just watch. She’ll get tired of this lifestyle, very quickly. Soon she’ll start giving you ultimatums. Things like if you don’t stop touring, settle down, and get serious about making a commitment, she’s going to leave you.”
“You don’t know her. How can you already think you know what she wants?”
“I don’t. And I should remind you that you don’t either. But living in a tour bus, flying across the globe, putting her life on hold, just to watch you as you eye-fuck half-naked groupies night after night, or to see you grind up on your music video girls—that will eventually wear on her. No relationship can survive that. Not for long, anyway.”
My anger rose up again at his words. “That’s not going to happen. She’s not like that. I’m not like that!”
“It’s either you’re both in the business, or neither of you are.”
“She knows the business. She was Roxy Punisher, remember?”
“You can’t compare her minute in the spotlight with your level of success. You’re not even in the same ballpark. And where you’re headed…it’s night and day, Johnny.”
“Well, you’re neglecting one important detail here. I can’t leave her alone if she’s going to be my full-time bodyguard. We need to have people think she’s my girlfriend. You seem to have forgotten about Agent Carlson’s plan. We need her.”
I enjoyed the rush of satisfaction that came over me at the exasperation on Kevin’s face. He and I both knew he couldn’t argue with their plan.
My phone buzzed. My driver, Charles was about to leave to pick up Amanda. I sent a reply, telling him to wait for me, then looked up at Kevin.
“I’ll be back.”
“Where the fuck are you going?”
“Out.”
“You can’t go anywhere alone, Johnny.”
“I won’t be alone. Charles is driving. I’ll be back soon.”
I
waited
in the limo while Charles went inside the airport to look for Amanda. I had no delusions of strolling through the terminal, hiding out in a baseball cap or some such disguise to hide from fans and the paparazzi. LAX had a reputation for twenty-four-seven stakeouts by the paps. The place was the bane of most celebrities’ existence.
My chest tightened when I saw her approaching the limo. She wore a navy skirt suit with a white shirt under her blazer, and navy pumps. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail. As professional as she looked, all I could think about was holding her. Charles wheeled her two large suitcases behind him. He opened the door to let her in beside me, before popping the trunk to load up her bags.
“Welcome back to LA,” I said, startling her when she saw me inside.
“Hi. I didn’t expect you…” she answered, and sat beside me.
“I’m full of surprises.”
“I see.”
“So how was the flight?” I asked when Charles got back in the car and drove off.
“Uneventful. And how was it out here while I was gone? All clear at the house?”
“Yes. No issues. The FBI has moved into my spare office.”
“Good. Any progress?”
“No. They’re organized, but the crazy person hasn’t made a move yet.”
“That’s a relief.”
“They don’t expect her to strike until the tour starts.”
“Okay. I was worried about what might happen while I was away…”
“You can just tell me you missed me, Amanda,” I teased. “No need to be that shy.”
She laughed and playfully punched my arm. “Geez. There you go again.”
“By the way, it’ll be a full house until we fly out, and a packed plane and ground transfers for the entire tour.”
“Yes?”
I pressed the button to raise the privacy glass between us and the driver. “Yes. All the more reason to…”
“To what?”
I leaned over to whisper in her ear. “Tell me the truth, Amanda. Did you miss me?”
“What? We just spoke yesterday, Johnny. I’ve not been gone that long.”
We didn’t have much time, and I was not going to waste it. I took her hand and pressed it on my chest. “I’m not gonna lie. I missed you.”
“Um…I thought we talked about this yesterday.”
“Fine,” I answered. She was not going to cross into romantic territory anytime soon, so I opted for lust and moved her hand down to my bulge. “See how much?”
“Johnny, I…” she said. She seemed to search for words to continue, but my guess was the lust was already at work. Her eyes blinked and closed, and her hand didn’t move from my jeans when I let it go. I leaned over and kissed her forehead.
“Get over here and ride me, Amanda,” I whispered. “I want to see that look of abandon on your face.”