Wicked Wonderland (13 page)

Rachel didn’t crack a smile.“Listen, Justin.About last night.”

He hesitated as he heard that tone in her voice.Yep. He’d played it all wrong. It was time to try a new tactic.

“I don’t know what got into me,” she said. “I’m not like that.”

He took another step until he was standing in front of her, almost touching. “Yes, you are.”

She did a double take. “What?”

“I don’t know who you think you’re fooling with your shirts buttoned up to your neck”—he flicked his fingertip against the starched collar—“and your hair pulled back tight.” He wrapped his finger along the curl of her soft hair. “You’re trying to act like a lady, but you’re—”

“Okay, that’s enough.” She tried to look away, but he held her in place with a sharp tug of her ponytail. Annoyance flared in her eyes, and he was tempted to give another pull.“And you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m surprised I didn’t find a tattoo on you last night. You seem the type.” He smiled when she gave a guilty start. Hmm . . . interesting. Either she had considered getting a tattoo or she’d had one removed.

She unwound her hair from his finger and tucked it behind her back so he couldn’t reach it.“It sounds like you don’t know me very well.”

He flattened his hand on the wall by her head and leaned in closer. “I’m working on it,” he confessed in a whisper.

Rachel seemed to take his promise as a threat. She thrust her chin out and squared her shoulders back. “As I was saying, I apologize for last night and I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself from now on.”

“If you insist,” he said, focusing on her pink lips. “What about your mouth? I enjoyed—”

Rachel put her hands up. “Okay, let me be blunt. Having sex with you was a mistake.”

He knew she was leading up to that, but it still hurt. He refused to show it, though.“Aw, come on, Rachel. I was going to go with ‘a surprise.’ Maybe even ‘an enlightening experience.’ But not ‘a mistake.’ ”

She looked down at the floor. “I apologize for my behavior,” she said stiffly, “and I can guarantee that it will never happen again.”

He didn’t want to hear that. He had visions of how they would spend the next few weeks together. It had a lot to do with her hands and mouth and his bed.

But he knew when to retreat. If he kept on pushing, she’d run a mile in the other direction. “Okay,” he said as he took a step back. “If that’s what you want.”

“It is.” She looked at him from underneath her lashes. He got the feeling she was a little suspicious of his immediate retreat. “I also want my button.”

Justin tilted his head. Did he hear that right? “Your button?”

She held her hand out. “The one you took from my cubicle. I want it back.”

He frowned. “Okay.” He retrieved the pearl button from his jeans pocket and dropped it in her palm. She pulled her hand back before he could grab it. The woman could predict his moves. He needed to remember that. “Anything else?”

“Yes. I would really appreciate it if you forgot about the whole incident.”

“Sure. Consider it done.” He could tell that his easy acceptance surprised her. Good. Why should he be the only one off balance?

She turned to leave. “But just one more thing,” he said, stopping her. “What caused all this?”

She kept her gaze on the exit. “I don’t know.”

“You can’t blame it on the champagne.” He knew from the taste of her mouth that she hadn’t drunk any alcohol.

“It doesn’t matter.”

It doesn’t matter?
How could she say that? “Yeah, it does. Otherwise how do you know it won’t happen again?”

She glanced over her shoulder, her eyes bright with determination. “Because I won’t let it.”

Justin watched her walk away, her movements tight and her arms protectively close to her body. He exhaled slowly and rubbed his hands through his hair. She wouldn’t let it happen again? Huh.That might be a problem because he was going to do everything in his power to make it happen again . . . and again.

S
ix more days until Christmas, Rachel reminded herself as she stood in the break room on Monday morning, staring out the window. She had so much to do, but instead she was studying the dark green fir trees, heavy with snow, standing tall against the gusts of wind. Rachel wrapped her hands around the hot coffee mug and hunched deeper into her sweater as she watched the big snowflakes drifting down and coating the cars in the parking lot.

“You’re hugging that coffee mug a little tight,” Leah said as she walked into the break room.

Rachel gave a little start. She hadn’t heard Leah clomping down the hall in her heavy boots. Rachel felt like she was in a fog and nothing she did would lift it.

It’d been that way since the office Christmas party. She’d thought that being away from the office would give her some breathing room, some perspective. Quite the opposite. She felt the pull to be with Justin even stronger.

Rachel also found herself staring off into space at the most inconvenient times. But the nights were the worst. She tossed and turned in her bed, aching for Justin’s touch.

“Are you feeling all right?” Leah asked.

“Not much sleep,” Rachel said hoarsely, her lips against the rim of her mug as she took a bracing sip of coffee. She needed to snap out of this. She had done so well for the past two years. No chaos, no drama. It should be second nature to slip back into her structured life, but she didn’t know how. Worse, she didn’t know if she wanted to.

That worried her. No, Rachel thought as a shiver ran down her spine, it scared the hell out of her.

“I know,” Leah said as she poured herself a cup of coffee. “There’s so much to do before Christmas. I’m so glad this company closes for the last week of the year. It makes my life easier. Don’t you agree, Justin?”

Rachel’s body went into full alert at the sound of his name. She turned her head sharply just in time to see Justin walking to the coffee machine.

Her pulse skipped a beat as she stared at his face. She couldn’t get enough of the sharp angles and harsh features. His stubble had rasped against her soft skin and she flushed from the memory. Rachel’s gaze skimmed his black hoodie and dark jeans, and she remembered the lean, muscular body underneath.

“What’s that?” Justin asked as he poured coffee in his mug.

“Justin isn’t much into celebrating holidays,” Rachel explained to Leah.

The other woman gave Justin a strange look. “Is that true?”

“How did you know that, Rachel?” Justin hid his surprise with a comical raise of his eyebrows. “You’ve been keeping an eye on me. I’m touched.”

Rachel wrinkled her nose at his teasing. She wished she had kept quiet about her observation. “I thought it was obvious. You weren’t at the Christmas party even though it’s mandatory participation.” That would divert Leah’s attention to Justin and away from her conspicuous slip.

“I had some work to do,” Justin explained as he walked to her. “You didn’t stay at the Christmas party.Why was that?”

Rachel glared at him.

Nikki walked in, carrying a decorative plate overloaded with gingerbread cookies.“Another gift from one of those hot-shot computer companies we work with,” Nikki announced. “Eat up.”

The scent of ginger and cinnamon wafted over Rachel. She froze, her heart lurching, as the memories collided. She stared at Justin’s throat, remembering the spicy tang of his aftershave when she had licked his warm skin.The hit of cinnamon made her mouth go dry. She had inhaled that scent when she gasped for her next ragged breath as Justin bit and teased her nipples.

“Rachel?” Justin tilted his head to one side.

Her nipples tightened and stung at the sound of his rough voice. Heat washed over her and she leaned closer to him.

“She says she hasn’t had much sleep.”

She blinked at the sound of Leah’s voice. Her memories spiraled and fragmented, crashing her back into the present.

Justin reached out and placed his hand on her forearm. His hand was big and warm. But his touch accelerated her disturbing response. She stared at Justin’s mouth, swiping the tip of her tongue along her bottom lip before biting down.

Justin’s look of concern morphed into one of knowing. The corner of his mouth tilted up as he slowly rubbed his thumb along the pulse point at her wrist. His smile deepened as he felt the erratic beat under his touch.

“Rachel?” Nikki’s voice shattered the warm, sensuous cocoon. Rachel jumped and broke away from Justin, almost dropping her coffee mug.

“I’m sorry. What?” Her skin tingled and her breasts ached. Her clothes felt way too hot and tight.

“You want a cookie?” Nikki held up a gingerbread man. “The sugar might help.”

She took another step back, clasping her mug as if it were the only thing keeping her grounded. “No, thank you. I don’t want anything right now.”

That wasn’t true. She wanted Justin again. The sweet and spicy scent inspired so many fantasies. Right now she imagined pouring some sugar on Justin’s naked body and licking her way down to . . .

“In fact, I think I’m off sugar totally,” she declared, looking straight at Justin. “I’m never going to have it again.”

Justin didn’t look troubled by her rash statement. In fact, he looked amused. “Never say never.”

Rachel whirled around, ignoring the quiet buzz of conversation in the break room, and marched off to the relative safety of her cubicle. Her body longed to be closer to Justin, but she didn’t trust herself.The next few days were going to be tough, but she had to remain strong. If she stayed focused on her goal to follow her carefully organized life, these inconvenient longings would fade way.They had to.

 

Justin frowned as he watched Rachel sitting in her cubicle, speaking on the phone.Today she was trying to look prim with a pin-striped button-down shirt, a long straight black skirt, and black ballet slippers. Her attempt was backfiring, because he didn’t want to keep his hands off. In fact, he wanted to strip the confining clothes from her body and reveal the luscious and sensual woman underneath.

Her outfit was a big sign of what he already knew. She was avoiding him again. He should have followed up on their run-in yesterday in the kitchen. He wouldn’t make that mistake again.

No, if he was going to regret anything, it should be his behavior the night of the office party. He shouldn’t have let loose to fulfill a few of his fantasies. He knew better.

He had wanted Rachel since the moment he saw her, but all his instincts told him to hold back and wait. It went against his nature, but Justin knew it was the only way he would get Rachel in his bed.

And he’d screwed up the first time Rachel came on to him. Worse, he’d gotten it into his head that he had been granted a gift for being such a good little boy this year. For the first time in a very long time, he had actually looked forward to the Christmas holidays. He had images of Rachel and him enjoying long, leisurely mornings and dark, cozy nights.

He should have known better than to dream. Justin leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hands over his face. Usually he hated the holidays—every one of them—from Valentine’s Day to Fourth of July to Thanksgiving. His mother lived for the special occasions, spending and celebrating as if there were no tomorrow. His father would inevitably find the brand-new decorations and the bills. Holidays were a freaking minefield, and the aftermath lingered long after the decorations were put away.

It was easier to ignore the holidays. He didn’t have any fond Christmas memories he wanted to continue. Sometimes he felt like an outsider, but he didn’t mind being alone. Or so he thought.

He shouldn’t have hoped for something wonderful this holiday season. Or thought this time it would be special. He had been better off viewing it as just another day. He made the mistake of believing he would get exactly what he wanted for Christmas: Rachel Bartlett.

Now the upcoming Christmas break stretched before him like a never-ending black hole. Justin rose from his seat, determined to fight off this dark, bitter feeling. He rushed out of his cubicle, immediately colliding into Rachel.

The impact had him staggering back as Rachel’s papers flew out of her hand like snowfall. He reached out to steady her, but his arm curled around her waist. Suddenly her body was flush against his. So much for his attempt at chivalry, he thought. She had to lean into him if she didn’t want to fall on her face.

Rachel stretched her hand out to steady herself. Her palm flattened against his chocolate brown shirt. “Sorry,” she said breathlessly.

But Rachel didn’t move back immediately. Her stunned gaze went from his face to where her hand lay. Her pupils dilated as her thick black lashes fluttered. He watched, fascinated, as her cheeks turned pink and her lips parted.

Justin felt Rachel soften against him.Victory roared through his veins at her silent surrender. His heart began to thump heavily. He was intensely aware of the heat swirling around them, insulating them from the rest of the world.

Rachel seemed mesmerized by the rise and fall of his chest. She bunched her hand against his shirt, wrinkling it under her tense fingers. Her eyes drifted shut and he suddenly realized what she was thinking.

He was wearing the shirt he wore the night of the office party. She was remembering how she had torn it off him with an urgency that made him rock hard thinking about it. From the flush of her cheeks, he suspected she was reliving every wicked, delicious moment they’d shared.

Just when he was about to slide his hand down the curve of her ass and clasp her tightly against him, Rachel took a reluctant step back.

He felt a sense of loss immediately. Damn, he needed to move faster.

“Sorry,” she repeated as she crouched down and frantically scooped the papers off the floor. She held them out at arm’s length, not daring to move any closer. “These are for you.”