Wide Open (12 page)

"That's a very good way of looking at things. A very
mature
way of looking at things."

He shrugged. "I had to grow up fast."

I nodded, swinging around to find Will on the couch. I hoped he wouldn’t be angry for bringing Milo here. "Will."

He looked back over his shoulder and did a small double take. "Hey."

"Will, this is Milo. Uh, Miles."

"Hey, Will. You can call me Miles if you want," he reminded me. "Milo sounds like a cat." Somehow I knew that Will would be calling him Milo, too, though. Milo came around me to the sofa and shook Will's hand. "Nice to meet you. We decided to stay in and get some take-out, if that's all right with you."

Will scoffed and gave me a sideways glance. "She wouldn't leave, would she?"

I crossed my arms behind my back and looked at the floor, but Milo came to my rescue. "Actually, I'm beat. I work over at the mechanic shop on the main drag. I figured we could just eat here, maybe watch a movie or something."

Will laughed. "Wow, she has got you whipped like butter, you liar."

My mouth fell open, but Milo busted out laughing. "Guilty," he confessed and looked over at me with a smile that said it was the truth. "Whatever makes her happy."

Will was looking at me, but I couldn't remove my eyes from Milo. Where did this boy come from? Where had guys like him been all my life? Granted, I'd been preoccupied. I didn't realize guys like that existed.

Will coughed his words. "Cough, smitten girl, cough."

I glared at him playfully. "What?"
He procured some caveman voice. "Men. Need. Food." He pointed to the kitchen. "Woman. Make. Sustenance." I raised my eyebrow. Will hadn't been like this in months. He never saw his friends anymore. They came around for a little while, but once Will couldn't keep up with all their fun at college, most of them stopped coming around altogether. All he ever saw was me. "Or just order some take-out, whatever."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes as the boys laughed and started talking about some movie they wanted to see. I was sure it was blood and guts. I yelled, asking what they wanted to eat as I took out all the menus, spreading them on the counter.

A head appeared above my shoulder and one hand on my side. "What do we have here?"

"Um…" I breathed and swallowed. I could feel how warm he was behind me. "Take-out menus. What do you want? A few places deliver."

"That's fine with me." He pointed at the Chinese place under his apartment. "I'm fond of this one for obvious reasons."

I smiled. "I was going to pick that one anyway. I'm in the mood for cookies."

He leaned on the counter with his elbows, his jacket gone, and said, "So, I didn't really have a say? You just made me think I did."

"Basically," I spouted playfully as the Chinese place answered on the first ring.

I got it all ordered and we sat in the living room talking about the new Bond movie. I folded my legs under me, keeping the skirt of my dress to my knees. Milo had taken off his boots and jacket. He sat with me on the couch opposite as my brother, our legs touching, and every now and then he would reach down and rub the tips of my fingers against each other.

Will was still in his sweatpants and t-shirt, but didn't seem to care. His blanket was thrown off, but he was at least leaning back and resting.

When the doorbell rang, Milo jumped up to get it, insisting he would get this one. I twisted my lips, but let it go. We divvied up the right orders and dug in while I bought their blood-and-guts movie from On Demand. When my food was done, I pushed my box aside and turned to face the TV, my back to Miles. One of my knees was up to my chest and I was about to find another spot because it was pretty uncomfortable when I felt his hands on my shoulders, pulling me back to lean against his side. In return, he slung his arm over my lifted knee and my shoulder.

I found myself sighing, wondering when the other shoe would drop. There was no way he was this awesome all the time.

When the movie was over, Will was fast asleep. I laughed. Poor guy. "He's such an amateur."

Milo laughed quietly. "Hey, we didn't eat our cookies."

I leaned over, snatched one up, and turned to face him, poised with the fortune cookie in between my fingers. "Ready?"

"Ready," he confirmed and we broke them open at the same time. He opened it, but didn't read it. He popped the whole cookie in his mouth.

I pulled the paper out and read out loud, "You only need to look to your own reflection for inspiration. For you are beautiful." I made a
how about that
face.

"That's true," he agreed and brushed some cookie crumbs off my dress from my knees. "Didn't I say you were gorgeous?"

"You did." I licked my bottom lip. "What does yours say?"

He sighed, grimacing like he didn't want to read it. Then he said slowly, "Conquer your fears, or they will conquer you."

"Oooh, I like that one."

He stared at it for a few long seconds before crumpling it between his fingers. "Just a stupid piece of paper, right?"

I took it from him and tossed it along with mine into the empty box on the table as if I could take the frown that had suddenly appeared on his face and do the same thing. "So," I began and leaned back, thumping my fist on his knee, "what now, hotshot?"

He scoffed. "You're going to call me that forever, aren't you?"

Forever… "It's a big possibility."

He laughed, rubbing his chin. "You have work in the morning."

I nodded. "So do you."

"Yeah, but I don't care."

"Me neither," I whispered back.

"Then let's play a game." He grinned. "Would you rather eat a fox's tail or a rattlesnake?"

"Eew. Neither!" He gave me a stern look that was more cute than anything else. "Fine. Fox tail." He waited, looking amused. "Okay, would you rather live on a deserted island with one person of your choosing or…win a million dollars?"

"Easy. Deserted island."

"Really?"

"Yeah. An island, back to basics, no traffic or jobs or bills. No stress. Just us." My gaze swung to his. His lips twitched. "Or whoever it was I took with me."

I let that slide, barely. "But think of what you could do with a million dollars." There wouldn’t be any more worrying about Will's medical stuff with that kind of money.

He shook his head. "Ah, money does things to people. Plus, an addict with all that money at their disposal isn't a very good idea." My lips pursed. He did have a point there. "All right, would you rather kiss a total stranger or lie to your preacher?"

"Kiss a stranger," I answered quickly. "I despise lying, no matter what it's for."

He shifted a little, leaning toward me. "Not even a white lie, not even a lie that was meant to keep someone safe."

"Safe? Like, from emotional hurt?"

"Sure," he said, unconvincingly.

"Even then. I know I'm a hypocrite because I used to lie all the time to my dad, sneaking out and not coming home, lying about where I'd been. Maybe that's why I hate it so much."

"I have a brother," he said suddenly. "In the interest of being honest." He looked up and captured my gaze, holding it hostage. "I got into some trouble back home and had to leave. I haven't been home to see my brother or mom in years. I went to check on my mom the other day, when I was gone. My brother's wife is about to have a baby."

"You're going to be an uncle."

"Yeah, but I won't be there. I can't be. I screwed up. And this is one of those things that can't be fixed. One of those things…that I have to lie about sometimes."

I nodded, not pushing. "Okay, I guess I can understand that. Will you tell me one day?"

"I'll tell you," he promised. "And you'll tell me yours."

I nodded. "One day."

Will's snore was loud and startled me. Milo and I stared at each other in some kind of silent agreement. He stood and held his hand out for me, pulling me up. "I guess I better go, let you get some sleep."

I followed him to the door and watched him slip on his boots and jacket. "Thank you. For dinner and for staying. I worry about him too much, he says, but it's my job, you know. He's my only brother."

I tried not to notice his wince, but I knew I'd hit a nerve. "Not a problem. We should do it again. Soon."

"Are you asking me out again?" I crossed my arms behind my back and looked at him coyly.

"Are you saying yes?"

"Yeah," I answered, not even waiting the customary pause for etiquette. He had to know I was interested by this point. Why hide it?

His smile was gorgeous. "Good. I'll call you. And when I say I'll call you, I mean I'll actually call you."

I nodded and took the end of his shirt in my fingers, too chicken to touch more of him. "Thanks for not pushing me about Will. I feel like I'm responsible for him and I don't know how to react sometimes. I don't like to talk about it, really. It makes it…real."

"I don't know what's going on and I don't want to push you. I'm so out of practice," he said with a sad chuckle. "I don't know how to do this anymore, so if I push too far, if you aren't comfortable with me, if I'm moving too fast, just say it."

"I think the fact you care about that at all is a good sign," I whispered, awe-filled.

He leaned toward me and stopped with very little room between us. I waited. "How far do you want me to chase you, Maya?"

I breathed, "As far as it takes."

He pressed the slowest, sweetest kiss to the corner of my mouth, letting the backs of his fingers rub my cheek. "Bye, sweetheart."

I nodded. "Bye."

I watched him go and finally felt like I could breathe. He climbed in his Jeep and waved as he drove off. I turned and felt like mush as I leaned on the door with my back.

"If you break out in song, I'm gonna gag."

I glared at Will's head, poking out from behind the couch. "Go back to sleep, sloth."

"Creep's got a boyfriend," he sang. "Creep's got a boyfriend."

I gathered the trash from our dinner and tossed a napkin at him. "Shut up."

I smiled as I turned and felt that smile in my very bones. I had this strange feeling like I'd just gone on my very last first date.

Milo

My phone dinged with a text as soon as I opened my front door. I grinned, shaking my head and locking the door as I reached for my phone. She was adorable. I wondered what kind of sass remark she had for me.

When I pulled out my phone, the number was unknown.

I'm glad you came to see her.

Mason. I knew it.

I put the phone on the coffee table and sat back looking at it. I got up and took a long shower—stalling—and put on the pajama pants that Joey had gotten me for Christmas that year. I never slept in a shirt now that I lived alone. Waste of clean clothes if you asked me.

I didn't know if I could answer Mason. I didn't know if I was ready to take that step. I knew there would be no going back after that. The one person I wanted to talk to about it, I couldn't. I didn't want to tell Maya all my sins. I didn't want her to know that side of me, ever, even though her job was talking to people about the crap in their lives. Was that realistic? I knew it wasn't, but it didn't stop me from hoping I could somehow keep it from her.

So I did the second best thing. I called Joey.

Even though it was past midnight, she answered and we talked for over an hour. She knew most of the things in my past. I had no choice back when they first helped me but to spill it all. They wouldn’t have helped me change my name and get set up there without the truth.

Joey and I had only spoken a couple times since she left, but we fell right back into our routine. She told me I should do what I felt was right. If I never wanted to talk to Mason again, then don't. She scolded me for going back and seeing my mother. She said my safety was more important than seeing her, especially since she didn't remember the visit anyway.