Wild Irish Rebel (3 page)

Chapter Six

"Patrick!" morgan exclaimed,
immediately feeling her shoulders tense up. Wary of him, she stood where she was.

"I brought you something to celebrate," Patrick said with an easy smile. He sat at the picnic table in the courtyard, legs stretched out in front of him, his muscular arms braced on the table. Morgan found herself drinking in the sight of him, all cool and casual, confident in his place in the world. A part of her desperately wanted to run over and jump on his lap, to tell him about her exciting day.

Instead she tilted her head at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Congratulations on what exactly?"

Patrick laughed and gestured to the ice bucket and glasses.

"On your new job! What else?"

"Word travels fast," Morgan murmured as she stepped closer to where Patrick sat.

"Small towns," Patrick said with a smile. "Plus, Baird stopped in for a late lunch and told me."

"Ah, yes, I'm quite excited," Morgan admitted and stood there stiffly, unsure of what to do.

"Come, have a drink. I've only seen you drink cider, and I've a lovely one here, made down at a little brewery on the Ring of Kerry," Patrick said easily and Morgan found herself warming to him.

"Well, I was considering stopping by the pub for a pint in celebration," she admitted.

"Ah, the lass does know how to lighten up once in a while," Patrick said, teasing her. Morgan was surprised to hear a laugh coming from her instead of her usual sarcastic response.

"I have my moments," she said and moved to sit on the other side of the table from Patrick. Sitting on the bench next to him would have been too close for comfort.

"Well, may I say that I'd like to be around for more of these moments?" Patrick said and popped the top on the bottle of cider, pouring honey-colored liquid into the glass and handing it to her across the table. A little shiver went through Morgan as her hand brushed Patrick's.

She hesitated before taking a sip, meeting his eyes over the rim of the glass.

"Thanks," she said.

"Sláinte " Patrick gestured and tapped her glass with his. Morgan gave a little trill of pleasure as the sweet liquid slipped down her throat.

"This is wonderful," she said.

"Isn't it just? I've got to talk to Cait about stocking it more," Patrick said.

Business, Morgan thought. She could talk business.

"So are you taking over for her once the baby comes?"

Patrick leaned forward, excitement crossing his face.

"Well, she's already made me part-time manager and then I'll be full-time when the baby comes. I like it. I can be more involved with inventory or running daily specials. I like to try out new things on the menu too," Patrick said.

"How did you end up working for Cait?" Morgan asked, keeping the conversation on him. It was an old habit of hers, leading the conversation so that people wouldn't ask too many questions about her past.

"Aye, well after school, I needed a job. I wanted to move out from my mum's and take a few years off to see if I wanted to go to uni or not," Patrick said.

"You're from around here then."

"We moved here from Kerry when I was ten. It was a little hard to adjust at first but I grew to love this town. People stand behind their own here."

Morgan sipped on her cider and pondered his words. She wondered why it felt like a threat to her. Would they run her out of town if they knew about her past?

"You?" Patrick asked.

"Ah, I don't think that I will go to uni. I'm not sure what I would major in," Morgan said, deliberately misreading his question. "What would you go for?"

Patrick leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, looking out over the courtyard.

"I don't know at that. I've always had a hankering to build things…engineering has crossed my mind. Though the more that I am stepping into the managerial side of things at the pub, the business side of things is exciting to me."

"It is, isn't it? I've been reading all the business books that I can find and I really love it. The nuts and bolts of it, you know? Spreadsheets, budgets, marketing plans. It's great." Morgan stopped herself and glanced down at her glass, surprised to find it empty.

"Ah, so that is the book you ran home to the other night then," Patrick said.

Morgan shrugged her shoulders, a little embarrassed that she had revealed that part of herself. But, it had been the only way that she could learn about being a manager.

"It must have been a good read as you accepted the position then," Patrick said over her silence and filled her glass with the rest of the cider in the bottle.

Morgan was feeling a little warm and loose from the alcohol so she smiled up at Patrick.

She leaned forward and propped her head on her arms halfway across the table, her eyes wide with excitement.

"They're all good reads. I've absorbed so much. I knew that I wanted this job but I was scared to take it. Plus, I didn't want to let Flynn down. But we talked yesterday and he is fine with me coming in on my day off to help him out. He's got enough eager hands that he doesn't really need me. I suppose that he probably just gave me the job as a favor," Morgan admitted.

"You wouldn't have kept it if you couldn't hack it," Patrick said, leaning forward, bringing his face close to hers.

Morgan stilled as she suddenly realized that their faces were inches apart. With the sun beginning to set and the two of them standing in the courtyard, it immediately reminded her of the last time that they had been here and her poor reaction to his attempted kiss.

"Listen…" Morgan said.

Patrick cut her off.

"I'm going to kiss you," he said, meeting her eyes and giving her ample warning.

Plenty of time to say no.

Feeling almost hypnotized under his gaze, she nodded slowly.

Patrick leaned forward and she lost herself for a moment in his gray eyes, noticing the tiny flecks of green now that they were so close. Her eyes drifted closed just as he brushed his lips across hers.

A zing of heat shot through her and unable to help herself, she moaned softly as he deepened the kiss, sliding his lips across hers, nipping a bit at her full bottom lip. Morgan was lost in a sea of emotions, like all of her nerve endings had fired up at once.

This was her first kiss.

She wasn't sure why she had waited so long if it was as pleasurable as this. Patrick's hands cupped her face, tilting it so that he could continue to kiss her deeply, coaxing her to open her lips so he could slip his tongue in to tease hers.

Her eyes shot open as something bumped her arm.

A cold rush of panic shot through her as she realized that her glass and the ice bucket were hovering near her arm. Slamming her eyes closed, she poured herself into the kiss while desperately trying to concentrate on lowering the items carefully back to the table.

"Shit!" Morgan screeched as cold liquid splashed over her leg.

Patrick broke off and looked at her knocked-over glass in confusion.

"How did that happen?"

"I, um, must have bumped it," Morgan said, heat creeping up her cheeks. She wanted to bury her face in her hands. Chalk it up to another reason not to date, she thought. If this happened every time someone kissed her, she could only imagine what would happen if she took a man to bed with her. She'd have to bolt all of her furniture down.

Her eyes met Patrick's as he handed her a napkin to mop up the spilled cider.

"Sorry about that. It was really good cider," Morgan said weakly.

"No matter, I'm just sorry that you got wet," Patrick said. Morgan's eyes shot to Patrick's and her face felt like it was on fire.

Patrick let out a hearty laugh and then bent over, laughing even harder as he pounded his hand on the table.

"I didn't mean that to sound, um, dirty," he huffed out, struggling to breathe.

Morgan found herself laughing at him, surprised that she could relax around him after their kiss.

Patrick leaned back over the table, his face serious again.

"I liked kissing you. I like you. It's no secret that I'm very interested in you," he said softly, capturing her hand with his.

Morgan quickly pulled her hand away and continued to dab the napkin at the wet stain on her pants.

"Um, yes, I suppose that I know you're interested."

"So, can I take you to dinner?" Patrick asked.

"Um, well, it's just that, you see…I don't date," Morgan said, continuing to wipe her pants, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Ever?" Patrick's voice rose up on a high note at the end of his words.

"Well, um, no, I guess not," Morgan said sheepishly and finally met his eyes.

"And you're not willing to try?" Patrick asked, surprise etched on his face.

"I just…I don't know if I'm ready," Morgan said lamely, her hands flopping around in front of her.

"Why? What happened to you?" Patrick said fiercely and Morgan immediately felt her walls go up. She took a deep breath before answering, remembering Baird's advice to try to form bonds with people. She reached out with her mind and scanned Patrick's, finding nothing but concern and genuine interest there.

Still, she found that she wasn't quite ready to talk about her past.

"I'm just not looking to date right now. I really want to focus on my new job," Morgan said, side-stepping the question.

"What about friends, then?" Patrick asked.

Morgan tilted her head at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Friends?"

"Yes, friends. I'd like to be your friend," Patrick said, surprising her yet again with his agile mind and how quickly he changed subjects.

"You want us to be friends?" Morgan asked.

"Yes, friends. Like this…sharing a pint. Grabbing a bite to eat. Going for a hike," Patrick said as he packed the glasses back into the small cooler that he had brought with him.

"That sounds suspiciously like dating," Morgan said as Patrick rose from the bench.

"Not if I don't kiss you," he said easily over his shoulder and with that, he disappeared from the courtyard.

Morgan found her mouth gaping open and she closed it with a snap, before laughing softly to herself.

It looked like Patrick had won that round, she thought.

Smiling, she traced her fingertips over her lips. Her first real kiss…and aside from her cider floating in the air, nothing traumatic had happened.

Morgan considered that a win on her behalf.

Chapter Seven

Morgan pulled nervously
at a crease in her pants. Though she still resolutely went to her free sessions with Baird, it had yet to get any easier to open up about her feelings. Last night, she'd barely been able to sleep – between the excitement of accepting the job with Aislinn and her first kiss, she'd been all but bouncing off the walls of her small apartment.

"You had a smashing first day on the job," Baird said, smiling at her, and Morgan felt a little wave of relief go through her. He was opening with an easy topic. She leaned back against the couch and pulled a pillow onto her lap like she usually did.

Protection.

"Well, it was sheer luck that those buses unloaded in front of the store," Morgan said, downplaying her role in the sales.

Baird tilted his head at her and pushed his glasses back up his nose. Aislinn concealed a small sigh as she admired his good looks. It was something about the glasses, she thought. It just pushed him over the edge into sexy. Aislinn was a lucky woman.

"And I suppose it was someone else who managed long lines out of the store and carefully rung everyone up? And it was someone else who rearranged the gallery to look like an elite artist's studio?"

Morgan shrugged her shoulders and fought to keep a shy grin off her face.

"Yes, I suppose that I did all that."

"You should be proud of yourself, Morgan," Baird said, "We certainly are."

Morgan shrugged again and looked around the room, taking in Aislinn's moody landscapes on the walls.

"I'm trying to get better at being proud of myself," Morgan admitted.

"Why do you think that is hard for you? To praise yourself? To acknowledge that you've done a good job?"

Morgan shrugged again.

"I don't know. I suppose it seems boastful."

"Being proud of doing a good job and being arrogant are two different things," Baird said. "There's something deeper there. What is it?"

Morgan was surprised to feel sadness well up inside of her and a sheen of tears crossed her vision. She supposed that she shouldn't be surprised as she almost always ended up crying in sessions with Baird.

"I guess…I guess I just feel like I don't deserve it."

"And why is that?"

"Because nobody ever wanted me. I was never good enough."

"Ah," Baird said and leaned back, crossing his legs as he studied her. "So, just because you weren't the right fit for some foster homes means that you never deserve to shine? That you should always feel like you aren't good enough even when you clearly did a fantastic job?"

"I guess it's weird when you say it like that," Morgan said, reaching for a tissue to dab at her eyes. She was glad that she didn't wear makeup as it would be running all over her face at this point.

"See, the thing is, from where I'm sitting, I see an incredibly beautiful and wildly talented young woman. I want you to start working on self-affirmations."

Morgan scrunched up her nose at Baird.

He laughed at her. "Just give it a chance. I need you to praise yourself for one good thing that you do a day. And, just for a moment, allow yourself to feel the pleasure that comes with doing a good job or whatever it may be. Don't ask yourself if you deserve it or are good enough, just step back for a moment and praise yourself."

"So give myself a pep talk?"

"Something like that. You need to allow yourself to feel how positive thoughts about yourself will affect who you are and how you react to people."

Morgan cleared her throat and looked away. "Speaking of that…"

"Yes?"

"I, um, you know…talking about reacting to people," Morgan stuttered.

"Just spit it out, Morgan." Baird smiled easily at her.

"Patrick kissed me. And it was great. Until I spilled a pint all over myself," Morgan said in a rush of words. Just thinking about it again had her heart hammering in her chest and sweat breaking out across her back. It had been glorious and embarrassing all in the same moment.

"How did you spill the pint?"

"Um, that's one of those things that uh…" Morgan made a swirly motion with her finger and pointed at her head.

"Something with your ability?"

Baird knew all about Morgan's abilities. Probably more than any of the women in town knew. He'd promised her client confidentiality and from what Morgan could see in his mind so far, he'd never broken it. Not to mention she'd given him quite the display a few months back when in a fit of anger she'd made a glass rise and dump water all over his head.

"Well, so, the only time this kind of stuff happens is when I am dreaming," Morgan began and Baird stopped her.

"Did you have a bad dream?"

"Aye, the other night, it's fine." Morgan shrugged it off.

"Tell me what happens during the dreams."

"I…I am back in the bed that the nuns tied me to. I see their faces swirling above me in a circle, their voices chanting in Latin, candlelight flickering. It's me but it's not me. When I wake up, pretty much everything in the room that isn't attached to the floor is hovering in the air. I have to work pretty hard to calm myself down and lower the furniture quietly."

Baird swore under his breath which coaxed a smile from Morgan. It was one of the things that she always liked about him. He seemed relatable and not some sort of stuffy doctor type.

"You know that this was child abuse. What they did was horribly wrong," Baird said.

"Aye, I know."

"You'll need to find a way to take their power away," Baird said simply and Morgan's eyes shot up to meet his.

"I never thought of it like that."

"It's true. They have power over you. Even from miles away and years ago. We'll need to think up something that we can do…some sort of ritual to allow you to release the power they have over you." Baird leaned back and watched Morgan. "You know, Fiona would be perfect for this."

Morgan looked determinedly over his head.

"Not ready for that?"

"I don't know."

"Tell me about the pint," Baird said, swiftly changing subjects.

"Oh, so we were sitting in the courtyard behind the gallery. He'd surprised me with a pint because he heard about my job."

"Nice of him," Baird observed.

"It was," Morgan agreed, "and, for the first time, I was able to relax around him. We have some stuff in common what with managing businesses and whatnot."

"Go on." Baird gestured with his hand.

"Well, we were talking and I just kind of leaned over the table and he told me that he was going to kiss me. I think he was a little worried about what had happened the last time, so he gave me fair warning. I didn't stop him." Morgan blushed as she thought about his lips on her and how her body had seemed to burn from within. "I liked it. A lot. It was my first kiss," she whispered.

"I'm not surprised about that," Baird commented and Morgan raised an eyebrow at him.

"How come?" Morgan demanded.

"Ah, well, you are fairly standoffish. It would be tough for any guy to break down that barrier. It has nothing to do with your looks or personality though. You just put a big "back off" sign up."

"I suppose that I do," Morgan said.

"So? The pint?"

"Ah, yes, we were kissing and I felt the pint bump my arm. I opened my eyes to see it and the ice bucket floating in the air! Thank God, Patrick's eyes were closed. I tried my hardest to lower them both but I didn't do too well with the pint."

Baird laughed.

"Sorry, it isn't funny but it is."

Morgan smiled at him, finally able to laugh at herself. "It is kind of funny."

"I think that you need to learn to control your powers when you are distracted. Have you had any training in that or any idea how to do so?" Baird asked.

Morgan just shook her head at Baird. "None."

"I know you don't want to hear this…" he began.

"Fiona," Morgan said on a sigh.

"Bingo."

"Maybe I'll drive out there after work or something," Morgan agreed. Though she knew that she was just saying that to placate Baird. Morgan had only met Fiona on a few occasions and the healer had looked at her like she knew all of Morgan's secrets.

"How did you leave things with Patrick?" Baird asked.

Morgan slammed her fist onto her leg and looked at Baird, her eyebrows raised.

"He wants to be friends!" Morgan said, indignation lacing her voice.

"Does he now?"

Morgan felt herself nibbling on her lower lip as consternation filled her. "I told him that I didn't date and he just…was fine with it. Said he'd be my friend then." She crossed her legs to keep her foot from tapping the floor.

"Friends are good to have," Baird said.

Morgan rolled her eyes at him. "Either he is interested in me or he isn't. There is no in between."

"But there can be," Baird said with a slow smile. "The best types of relationships start from friendships." 

"I don't know if I can be in a relationship," Morgan admitted softly and was surprised to feel a soft yearning fill her. She'd been so used to not forming bonds and not having a home, that having a healthy, normal relationship had never really seemed like an option for her. It was almost too much at once.

"You can. Be patient with yourself, you don't need to figure this out today. It takes time," Baird said gently.

Time, Morgan thought. For once in her life she had time to stay in one place and figure her life out. A smile slipped across her lips and she looked up at Baird, hope filling her heart.

"Then time is what I'll take."