Wild Temptation (42 page)

Plus, I’ll have my mom. And despite her unnecessary worrying about my seeing a man in the mafia, she’s my mom.

And twenty-five or not, every girl needs their mom.

I sink into my dad’s embrace. Warm and familiar with the gentle scent of cigar smoke, it comforts me instantly. This will always be home—in his arms.

“Princess,” he says happily. “You didn’t say you were coming!”

I pull back and smile. “I didn’t know. It was an impulse thing.”

“Liv? Is that Liv?” Mom’s voice filters through the house. She gasps in delight and practically shoves Dad out of the way to get to me. “Baby! You’re home!”

“Hey…Mom,” I choke out as she squeezes me tight. Shit, the woman is fifty-two with the grip of a wrestler.

“Let up, Mare. Let the girl breathe.” Dad gently pulls her off me. “Do you have any bags in the car?”

I shake my head and lift my bag. “It’s just for a night. Needed to get away.”

Mom’s eyes instantly fill with worry. “Is everything okay, honey?”

I nod. “Yes. Yes. I just needed a break, you know?” I give her a look that says,
We’ll talk later.

I don’t want to bring it up in front of my dad. If anyone was hit hard by my stupid suicide attempt, it was him. He was mad that he hadn’t been able to protect me. He felt for a long time like he’d failed me, and that’s not something I want him to ever feel again. I don’t want him to know that it still affects me now.

I want him to think I have my shit under control. I don’t like to lie to him, but if he doesn’t ask, I won’t tell. And if I don’t mention it, chances are he won’t ask.

“Okay. You’ll have to sleep in the spare room tonight. Nana’s here.”

Oh shit.
“Crazy, forgetful Nana?” I groan.

Dad laughs. “She’s as batty as she always was. And she’s mentioned your name at least five times in the last hour.”

“Shit. I should have called,” I sigh, walking into the house.

“I heard that, ya little shit! It’s my mind that’s goin’. Not my hearing!”

I shuffle into the conservatory sheepishly and bend to give the old woman a cuddle. “Hey, Nana. How are you?”

“I’m good, good. Batty as I always was!” She shoots Dad a fondly annoyed look, and he laughs.

“Great. Now why are you sleeping in my bed?” I wink at Mom.

“Because the spare room is shit,” she says matter-of-factly. “The mattress is like a wooden plank.”

“Nice of you to save it for me.”

“If I knew you were coming, I would have waited until next week,” she retorts.

“I’m wishing I’d called ahead.”

“You should have. It would have given me time to get the hell out of here.” She winks at me exaggeratedly, adding a wide-mouthed smile for a good measure.

“I’ll book you a flight now then!” I laugh. “Get packing, old woman.”

She grabs a mint from the pack on the arm of her chair and throws it at me. “Mary, didn’t I teach you to respect your elders? Why didn’t you pass it on to your daughter?”

“I respect you, Nana,” I say innocently. “I just have way more fun fucking with you.”

“Olivia!” Mom gasps over Nana’s loud laughter.

“Well, what your mother didn’t teach you, I sure did.” She winks again. “Oh, Mare, don’t be so strait-laced. I heard you out there swearing at the casserole earlier. What was it you said? ‘Stupid fucking casserole dish being so fucking damn hot!’ Amongst others.”

Mom blushes appropriately. “I went to put it back in the oven without my gloves. It slipped out.”

I give her a pointed look. “Yes, Mom. We all believe it slipped out.” I roll my eyes.

“Speaking of casserole,” Nana says. “Is it ready yet? My stomach is digesting itself.”

“It should be. Come out to the kitchen and we’ll see.” Mom strides out of the room.

I cross the sizable room and help Nana from her chair.

“Thanks, dear.” She pats my arm. “Oh, you should probably know I’m sleeping in your room. The spare bed is fucking terrible.”

I open my mouth to tell her that she’s already told me, but instead, I smile. God love her.

“Y
ou look like you have a face slapped with a wet fish,” Nana says. “Have you been salmon fishing?”

“It’s not salmon season, Nana,” I reply. “And I don’t fish.”

“Not salmon season? It flamin’ well is! Bit cold for July though. Hey, Steve. Put the heat on. I’m turning into a snowman.”

I raise an eyebrow at Mom. “July? Nana, it’s March.”

“No, it’s July. I specifically remember arranging my next visit here for July.”

“Mother,” Mom says softly. “You did. We talked about it yesterday. You said you’d come back in July.”

Nana blinks at her. “Oh. Did we?”

Mom nods. “Yes. You said you wanted to come up in salmon season because you wanted fresh salmon.”

Nana tilts her head to the side. “Oh. Oh, all right. That would explain the temperature. Still, get the heat on.”

Dad sniggers and slinks off to turn up the thermostat. The woman is batshit crazy. He comes back a minute later and grabs his tea from the table.

“I’m going into watch television. Lizard Lick Towing is on.”

“He’s obsessed with the show,” Mom explains at my shocked look. “I think he has a crush on that Amy girl. She’s badass, she is.”

My fifty-two-year-old mother should not say badass. Mind you, my eighty-year-old Nana probably shouldn’t swear like a drunken sailor either, but there we go.

“Mother, are you going to shut your eyes for half an hour before your medication?”

“No. I’m not tired. I want to know why my granddaughter looks like her thong is stuck up her ass.”

I jolt. “Nana!”

She waves her hand. “Come on. Talk.”

I chew the inside of my lip. I don’t really want to talk with Nana around. Not because I don’t want her know… No, yeah. It’s because I don’t want her to know.

“I’m not fucking moving, so start talking,” she snaps. “I’m not going to be shocked by anything you have to say. I’ve done it all, honey.”

I raise my eyebrows at Mom. Maybe she should go for that nap…

Mom sighs. “You better let her in on it. She’ll only hound you until you give in.”

“I’m only hounding Steven because he hasn’t given me my fresh salmon yet. Salmon season and no salmon! It’s an abomination.”

Mom puts her hand over her eyes. “He’ll get you some tomorrow, okay? I’ll send him out fishing in the morning and we’ll go to the farmer’s market.”

Nana nods. “Good. Now, Olivia.”

I sigh and cross my legs on the sofa.

“No? All right. You met a guy and you’re afraid because of what happened before,” Nana determines.

“How the hell do you even know that?” I shriek. “Oh my god.”

“So I’m right? Ooh, goodie!”

Now it’s my turn to cover my eyes with my hand. Sly bat trapped me!

“Yes, Nana. You’re right.”

“Oh, is that Aaron’s cousin?” Mom asks. “The one you went on a date with?”

“Liv went on a date? Fuck me.”

“Nana!” I cry at the same time that Mom yells, “Mother!”

Nana cackles. “Sorry. Carry on.”

I sigh again. “Yes, the guy I went on a date with. We’ve spent a lot of time together over the last month and now…he wants more. I want more, but hell, I’m afraid. I don’t want to repeat what happened before. I can already feel it. I’m already more than a little obsessed with him.”

No one says anything for a long moment, but when they do, I don’t expect the gem to be from Nana.

“Sometimes love and obsession are one and the same. Sometimes you can’t tell them apart because they’re no different. Love is thinking of someone every day, wanting to be with them all the time, needing to know everything about them. Just like an obsession is.”

“It goes past obsession, Nana.”

“Addiction? You think love ain’t addiction, girl? Have you ever been in love?”

I shake my head.

“Then you’re shittin’ yourself if you think there’s a difference. I was addicted to your grandpa because he was my best friend and my lover. I needed him to live, and now that he’s gone, a part of me is dead. Because I love him.”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“I’m saying maybe you aren’t addicted to him or obsessed with him. Maybe you’re falling in love with him, you flaming dingbat.”

My lips twitch. “I’m not falling in love with him, Nana. I think I’d know if I’m falling in love.”

Mom pats my hand. “You don’t always know when you’re falling in love, but you sure as hell know when you get there.”

“So you’re saying that, one day, I’m just going to wake up and be like, ‘Oh, shit. I’m in love?’ No warning? No preemptive mushy bullshit? Just bam, like that?”

Nana snorts. “You’ve been reading too many romance novels, my girl. Yes. Bam. Smack. Bang.” She claps loudly, her bracelets jingling. “If you don’t think you’re in love, you probably aren’t, because you know when you are.”

“I know I’m not in love.”

“Not you. You don’t count in that rule. You didn’t know you were growing boobs either, but you were.”

I laugh into my hand. So she’s right—I refused to believe that my budding breasts were just that. Breasts. “All right, all right. When I’m in love, I’ll know. But this doesn’t solve my dilemma.”

“You haven’t said what the damn dilemma is!” Nana thumps the arm of her chair.

I glance at Mom. I have. She’s just forgotten. Again.

“I don’t know if I can have a relationship with him because of what happened…before. In school.”

Mom curls her fingers around mine. “Princess, you can. You’re not a teen girl who doesn’t know better. You’re a strong woman who knows how to cope. If you really like him, if you really want to make it work, you’ll find a way to.”

Her words echo Tyler’s so closely. And deep down, I know it’s true.

“I’m scared,” I whisper, taking my hand from hers and pulling my knees to my chest. “I’m scared that he’ll be everything and then he’ll go and I’ll have nothing. I’m scared I’ll hurt him. I’ll hurt Dayton. I’ll hurt you all. I’m afraid I’ll send us all on a crash course like I did before. I don’t want to do that again.”

“So don’t,” Nana says simply.

“It’s not that simple, Nana!”

“Oh, pish! It is. You’re just complicating things with your bullshit, Olivia. If you want him and he wants you, then you have nothing to lose.”

“I nearly lost my life!” I almost shout. “How is that nothing? What if, next time, it’s worse? What if, next time, I do lose?”

Nana’s face softens, but her eyes harden. She leans forward in her chair and points a wrinkly finger at me. “You listen to me, my girl, and you listen to me good. You’re not afraid of committing. You’re not afraid of hurting anyone. The thing you fear is weakness. It’s commendable, really, but also complete crap. The only person you’re hurting is yourself—and this boy. You’re stringing you both along because of your naivety. That’s what it is. What you are. Naïve. You think love pops up for every Tom, Dick, and Harry?”

Her words sting.

“It doesn’t. It isn’t something you can throw around. If you can sit there and tell me it wouldn’t kill you to walk away from him, then that’s exactly what you should do.”