Wildcat (12 page)

Children were even more surprising. Over tea and cookies, Ulla had actually admitted to cleaning his house while he’d been off running through the mountains. The strange thing was that he hadn’t even noticed the difference.

“I want to ride
that
horse,” Karsyn said, pointing at Danuban. “With Jerden.”

Ulla rolled her eyes. “Might as well give it up and take her for a ride, Jerden. She’ll never give you any peace until you do.”

Chuckling, he gave Ulla a leg up on Akira and tossed her the reins. After adjusting the stirrups for her, he called for the stallion. Danuban stopped grazing and trotted up to him. Grasping the mane, he swung up onto the black’s broad back.

“I wish I could mount a horse like that,” Ulla said wistfully.

“You’ll be able to when you’re taller. And when you get those ponies, you won’t have any trouble.” Urging the stud closer to Akira, he took Karsyn by the waist and sat her in front of him. “Come on, girls,” he said with a grin. “Let’s go for a ride.”

***

“Jerden told me he had to rescue you from Nate yesterday,” Bonnie said as she led the way into her sunny kitchen. “He didn’t use those exact words, but that was the gist of it. I let him think I believed that crap about you two being lovers—which would’ve been damn sudden, considering what I already know about both of you. I’m guessing the only thing you actually got together on was concocting this scheme to keep Nate from ever bothering you again.”

Sara nodded. “Jerden also wanted to discourage Salan.
She
seemed to believe it.” With a rueful smile, she added, “Wasn’t very convincing, was I?”

“Not at all.” Bonnie gestured toward the table. “Have a seat. I’ll make you a cup of tea.” She filled her teakettle with water and set it on the stove. “Jerden was certainly talkative this morning. I don’t know what you did to him, but he seems so much better now. More like he was before.”

Sara still didn’t think she’d had anything to do with his recovery, but she let it pass without argument, thankful for a slightly different topic. “So you knew him before he went to Rhylos?”

Bonnie nodded. “Not well, though I did meet him several years ago. A gorgeous hunk like Jerden is hard to forget. Big, handsome, charismatic… he had the most seductive smile I’ve ever seen. A real ladies’ man. No one was surprised when he made a fortune on Rhylos. I’d be willing to bet there wasn’t a woman in the entire galaxy who would’ve turned him down.” The “except you” was left unsaid, but Sara could almost hear it reverberating off the walls. “So, you want to tell me what Nate did to make you faint?”

“He’s always been annoying,” Sara said bluntly. “But this time, he scared me.”

Taking a mug down from the cabinet, Bonnie set it on the counter and dropped a tea bag in it. “Got a little too pushy?”

“Something like that.”

“Still don’t see why you’d pass out.” She leveled a shrewd eye at Sara. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”

Sara’s chest tightened. Closing her eyes for a moment, she willed the pain to subside. “I’ve never told anyone, and I don’t intend to now. Let’s just say what happened was enough to make me believe that men can’t be trusted.”

Bonnie nodded. She may have looked like a delicate little blonde angel, but Sara knew she’d been through a lot. There was steel in her, and a fair amount of wisdom, too—most of which she’d learned the hard way. “I felt like that myself once. Swore off men entirely.” A fond smile lifted the corners of her lips. “Then Lynx showed up.” Her clear blue eyes gazed steadily into Sara’s. “It makes a difference when you find the right one.”

“Well, Nate certainly isn’t the right one,” Sara said briskly. “I think we’ve proven that much.”

“But Jerden
might
be? I mean, you do seem to trust him a little.”

“I don’t know. I feel differently toward him, but love? I’m not sure I’m even capable of it. He asked me why I came here to live all alone, and I told him it was because I liked it that way. I don’t think he believed me.”

“There’s more to it?”

“Of course there is. But that’s not the point. The point is…” She stopped there, shaking her head. “Oh, hell. I don’t know
what
the point is. I honestly don’t. I’m not even sure what I’m
doing
here.”

The kettle whistled, and Bonnie poured the boiling water into the mug and then set it in front of Sara before fixing a cup for herself. She nodded toward a plate of chocolate chip cookies. “Have some. They’ll settle your brain better than anything.” Chuckling, she pulled up another chair and sat down. “They sure got Jerden talking.”

Grateful for a temporary reprieve, Sara picked up a cookie and took a bite, savoring it slowly.
Might
as
well
just
come
out
and
ask
her…
“Did he tell you he wanted me to be the hostess for this party he’s planning?”

“Oh, yeah.” Bonnie hesitated. “He likes you, Sara. Do yourself a great big favor and don’t ignore that—or push him away. He
needs
someone—probably more than you do. If you’re only friends, I think he could live with that. But if a Zetithian man really loves you…” She paused, unable to suppress a smile. “Well, it just doesn’t get any better than that.”

Sara wasn’t blind. She’d seen how much Bonnie and Lynx loved one another—and their children. Perhaps that was why both she and Jerden had come there—in the hope that the pervasive aura of peace and contentment would somehow rub off on them. Unfortunately, Sara had yet to convince herself that a man was something she actually wanted. All the things she’d said to Jerden were true. She knew some of it from personal experience, and some from observation. Happy unions between men and women were rare, and more often than not, they seemed to dissolve in annoyance, mutual dislike, and sometimes out-and-out hatred. She’d convinced herself she was better off without all that.

But the pesky little notion that there might be more to it nagged at her.
What
if…
“No. He only wants me to be his hostess so all the single women will feel more comfortable. Of course, that was before we started pretending to be a couple. Not sure
what
it means now.”

Bonnie arched a skeptical brow. “Did
he
say that was why he wanted you to do it, or did you?”

Sara honestly couldn’t remember. “I don’t know. It sounds like something I would have said.”

“Uh-huh. Do yourself a favor, Sara, and don’t sell yourself short. You have a lot to offer a man.”

“Yeah. Good land and beautiful horses.” She was pretty sure that was what Nate wanted from her. It wouldn’t surprise her if Jerden wanted the same thing.

Bonnie scowled in response to Sara’s comment, but went on as though she hadn’t heard it. “And the woman who would pass up Jerden… well, I’m not sure one exists. At least, none that are single—and I’d bet plenty of married women would ditch their husbands for him.”

“I thought sex was the Zetithian male’s claim to fame. If he can’t do it anymore…”

“Don’t you worry about that. If Lynx can recover, so can Jerden. And when he does…” A wry smile curled her lips. “Look out.”

Bonnie’s cookies were better than a dose of truth serum. In short order, Sara had related the events of the previous day, plus the details of Nate’s late night visit.

“Whether he wants your land and horses—or you—doesn’t matter anymore,” Bonnie said. “Nate already sees Jerden as a rival, and I’m not sure he’ll believe your ruse any more than I did. Chances are, he’ll get even more persistent. Whether you’re pretending or not, Jerden is some pretty serious competition. I mean, I know which one
I’d
choose.”

Oddly enough, Sara would have chosen Jerden too, but for an entirely different reason. Not only was he currently incapable of sexual relations—something Sara saw as a definite plus—he also had an excellent rapport with Danuban. And if Jerden needed the scent of a woman’s desire in order to recover his sexual abilities, well, he certainly wasn’t going to get it from Sara. Though she found some comfort in that, she doubted he would see it in quite the same light.

The back door flew open and Karsyn came racing into the kitchen. “Oh, Sara, we had
so
much fun!” Sighing, she further expressed herself with a reasonably well executed pirouette. “I simply
adore
horses.”

Bonnie shook her head, covering a smile as Karsyn danced her way into the next room. “She can be so…
theatrical
sometimes. Don’t know where she gets it.”

While Bonnie enjoyed a good chuckle, Sara glanced toward the door, taking Karsyn’s arrival as her cue. “I guess I’d better collect Akira from Ulla and head on home.”

Bonnie nodded. “She’d probably stay out there with him all day if you let her, but I’m sure you’ve got things to do.” Sara did her best to ignore Bonnie’s pointed look. No way was she going to go galloping after Jerden like some lovesick idiot. He was probably already halfway home by now.

“Yeah, gotta fix lunch for the gang.” She got up from the table. “Thanks for the cookies, and for listening.”

“Maybe someday you’ll tell me the rest of the story.”

Sara shrugged. “I doubt it. Even if I did, it wouldn’t change anything.”

“You might be surprised. Just remember, I’m always here to lend an ear if you need one.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Since she hadn’t come back in the house with Karsyn, Sara expected to see Ulla sitting on the porch holding Akira’s reins, or perhaps walking him around in the yard. No such luck. Jerden was waiting with both horses, Ulla apparently having gone off to do something else. Cria was curled up on the porch but rose to her feet as Sara came out the door.

Still mounted on Danuban, Jerden tossed her the reins. “I thought maybe we could ride back together.”

Using the porch steps as a mounting block, Sara swung up into the saddle, wondering when she was ever going to stop having chest pain every time she looked at Jerden. She focused her eyes on Akira’s ears and waited for it to pass. About the only advantage to riding home with him was that he’d be there if Nate were to come trotting up on one of his scrubby little horses and tried to put the moves on her again.

“Might as well,” she replied. Then she remembered all the research she’d done the previous evening before Nate had interrupted her. With horse-hunting and barn-building as topics, she shouldn’t have to worry about the conversation getting too personal. “I went online last night and found some nice-looking Friesians for sale. They’re pretty pricey, though. Want to take a look?”

“Sure. I’d also like to see more of the things this horse has been trained to do.” He ruffled Danuban’s mane and gave him a pat as they started off. “You kinda got my curiosity going with everything you were telling the girls.”

“Most people think it’s pretty cool when they see those movements performed. Not many know how to ride them, though, including myself. About the best I can do is to show you some pictures and videos.”

“Sounds good. I’m sure you’ll be busy the rest of the afternoon. How about if I come over later tonight, maybe after dinner?”

After
dinner?
She was about to refuse when she realized that Jerden’s presence was the perfect insurance against another visit from Nate. They wouldn’t have to do any pretending, either. They’d simply be two friends getting together to talk about horses.

She was still coming to grips with the mind-boggling idea that she could actually be friends with a man. But were they more than friends already? The memory of him lying in bed with her the previous morning came rushing back. He’d been purring and had even given her a couple of hugs and kisses.

Then there was the excursion to Nimbaza—the way he’d touched her, walked arm in arm with her, and told her she looked like a queen when she tried on that dress. Of course, it had all been for show…

Holy
shit.

They’d been alone in that dressing room. No one else could’ve heard him, which meant it hadn’t been part of the performance. He must’ve truly meant it.

And after he’d seen that Davordian woman, he’d shared something with her that he claimed not to have shared with anyone else. No one was around to hear that, either.

Maybe
we
really
are
friends.

***

Noting her stunned expression, Jerden waited patiently while Sara wrestled with her reply. He knew he’d backed her into a corner of sorts, and was on the brink of withdrawing the suggestion when she finally spoke.

“Sounds good.”

“Great! I’ll be there around seven, then.” Not too early, not too late.

She nodded her assent, but that touch of reserve was still there. She’d seemed much better the day before—at least, until the ride home. She’d been as quiet then as she was now…

Deciding it was best not to push her any further, he said nothing more, allowing her to ride on in silence. The day was clear and warm, and they let the horses walk most of the way. Cria followed close behind, and Jerden did his best to keep quiet and enjoy the scenery.

They followed the main road, which ran past Bonnie’s farm and the dairy, then skirted Sara’s property for a time before taking a turn to the west to avoid the mountains. Beyond that point, the road to Jerden’s place dwindled to little more than a path, becoming almost nonexistent where his land began and hers ended. Understanding his need for solitude, Lynx had suggested the lake property as the most remote place available. Now that Jerden had spent more time with Sara, the remote aspect seemed less important, and he was able appreciate it more for its beauty.

They were passing by the gently rolling acres of the dairy farm owned by Salan’s father when Sara finally broke the silence. “Karsyn seemed to have had a good time riding. You should have seen her dancing through the kitchen.”

Jerden chuckled warmly. “She’s something else, isn’t she?”

“Uh-huh. She’s really looking forward to your party. Said she gets to eat hamburgers and swim in the lake.”

Jerden was thankful that Sara had managed to come up with what she apparently considered to be a neutral topic—unless she was intending to back out on him. “You’re still planning to be there, aren’t you?”

Her slight hesitation told him he’d been correct. “I suppose so, but do I
really
have to be your hostess?”

“No, but I
could
use your help.” Jerden had yet to have a woman turn down an appeal like that. Knowing Sara, she’d probably be the first, so he backed it up with a little extra incentive. Rubbing his chin in a contemplative manner, he threw in the clincher. “Remember, the more time we spend to together, the less you’ll have to deal with Nate.”

Sara blew out a pent-up breath. “I sure wish you’d come home with me last night.”

Jerden would’ve dropped his teeth if they hadn’t been firmly attached to his jaw. “Why, Sara, I had no idea…”

“It’s not what you think. Nate came over to apologize.”

“Judging from the way you’re gritting your teeth, I’d have to say you didn’t appreciate his visit.”

“Or his timing. I was up pretty late. I doubt if any of the gang even heard him.”

“You didn’t let him in, did you?”

“Hell, no! I locked the door and told the stupid shithead to go away.”

Jerden couldn’t contain his laughter. “You’re starting to make a habit of that.”

She all but snarled at him. “I didn’t lock
you
out.”

“No, I had the good sense to leave when you told me to.” Figuring he had very little to lose at this point, he tossed out another lure. “I guess I
could’ve
stayed with you last night. I mean, if I’d been there, he would’ve felt pretty stupid.”

Sara never missed a beat, skipping right past the suggestion that he would’ve spent the night if she’d asked him to. “Yeah, well, you weren’t, so it’s a moot point. Obviously he didn’t get the memo that you’re supposed to be my new boyfriend.”

“I take it you didn’t tell him.”

“To be honest, I thought it would make matters worse. He was already saying some not-so-nice things about you.”

“He didn’t threaten
you
, did he?”

“No, but he scared the hell out of me, especially after what happened yesterday. I was about to call the Trackers on him—and I would have if he hadn’t left when he did.”

Jerden had been angry enough when Nate had forced his attentions on her, but his blood was really boiling now. Trying to kiss her was one thing, harassing her when she was alone late at night was something else. “Obviously I should’ve beaten the shit out of him when I had the chance. He didn’t try to break in, did he?”

“Sort of. I’d already locked the door, but he did jiggle the knob. He was pretty angry. To tell you the truth, I thought he might try to force his way in.” She shivered. “I still don’t understand what’s gotten into him lately. I mean, has he gone crazy or what?”

Jerden hated to admit it, but he suspected it was more due to his own presence in the neighborhood than any insanity on Nate’s part. “Males of every species have a tendency to be territorial. Nate probably sees me as an intruder on what he considers to be his turf.”

Sara nodded. “Bonnie said something similar, but I still don’t know why he’d think that. I’ve never encouraged him.
Ever
.” She paused, clenching her teeth. “I’m usually not up that late, but I was in the living room and the lights were on. The door was unlocked—hell, it’s
always
unlocked! I can’t help wondering what he would’ve done if I’d been asleep. He could’ve just opened the door and come right on in. I guess Reutal would’ve heard me if I’d screamed.”

Jerden had heard enough. “That does it,” he growled. “I’m not leaving you alone again.”

“Don’t be silly. You can’t be with me all the time.”

“I could if we were married,” Jerden said bluntly. “I’d never leave your side.”

This proposal was too blatant for even Sara to ignore. However, the only indication that she grasped his meaning was a tiny little choke, from which she recovered quickly. “Nonsense. Even married people aren’t together
all
the time. They’d drive each other crazy.”

He summoned up his best lady-killer smile and aimed it right at her. “Prove it.”

“What?”

“Marry me and try to drive me crazy.”

She glanced at him with a derisive arch to her brow. “That doesn’t sound too hard. You’re halfway there already—maybe even closer than that, come to think of it.”

Jerden wasn’t sure where the idea had come from—a moment before, he’d have counted himself lucky to be able to hold her hand—but like most of his better notions, this one had come to him straight out of the blue. “Trust me, I’m not insane—and I’ve been there, so I know what I’m talking about. If you’ll just take a minute to consider the idea without whatever it is about men that you can’t stand getting in the way, you’ll see that it’s the perfect solution to your problem.”

“Which problem? How to drive you crazy?”

“No, how to keep Nate from harassing you anymore—and you can do that by marrying me.” Jerden took full advantage of her speechless state and continued to blast away her resistance. “You can think of it as a marriage of convenience if you like. If your complaint about men is that you have to have sex with them, you won’t have to worry because my dick doesn’t work, and with your scent stuck in neutral, it never will. You’ll get a full-time bodyguard and Bonnie won’t try to fix you up with every new guy that comes along.”

Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “What’s in it for you?”

“I won’t have every Zetithian-hungry girl in the quadrant chasing after my hot little ass, and you and I won’t have to fight over who gets to keep this horse.” He grinned. “And I’d have the perfect excuse to mop up the floor with Nate if he ever bothers you again.”

She stared at him for the space of about ten heartbeats and then let out a shaky laugh. “You really
are
crazy, aren’t you?”

At
least
she’s laughing.
Jerden had never been quite so blunt with a woman before and couldn’t have predicted how well it would work. Sara was different, though. There was a good chance it had been the right tactic. “Outrageous perhaps, but not crazy.”

“Sounds like a match made in heaven.”

It wasn’t a definite yes, and her dry tone held a dash of sarcasm.
Wait
for
it…

She frowned, biting her lower lip in a manner that was both innocent and sensuous. Jerden held his breath. “No sex?”

“Not unless you want it, and believe me, I’ll be able to tell if you do.”

She nodded slowly, staring straight ahead. “You’re right about that being part of the problem. There are other things, though. Things that still hurt.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Things I don’t even like to think about.”

“I won’t hurt you, Sara. I’ve told you that before. And if I ever do, whether it’s intentional or not, you can slap the shit out of me. In fact, I insist on it.”

She turned to face him then, only the barest hint of a smile indicating that she’d heard him. In another instant, it was gone. “Don’t lie to me.”