Wildfire Hurricane (A Ryder Boys Novel Book 1) (13 page)

“And?”

He focused on Flynn’s wide, expectant eyes. The boy needed to know how to be a man.
What can a fuckup like me teach him?
“That’s it. Do your job, take care of people, and never, ever give up.”

“Yes.” Flynn beamed as if some great revelation shone down upon him. “It all makes sense now.”

I’m glad somebody gets it.
He’d taken much too long to figure it out. Dash clapped Flynn on the shoulder. “When you finish your training, I want you on my crew.”

Flynn flattened his hand and snapped it to his forehead. “Yes, sir!”

“Don’t salute me.” Dash rolled his eyes.

“Oh, right.” He shook Dash’s hand with a firm grip.

The kid just might have the balls.
Flynn’s grasp lingered, and Dash slapped him upside the head with his free hand. “Let go now.”

“Oops.” Flynn released him.

Dash rubbed his throbbing hand and scowled. “Know when it ends.”

Cassie woke and spotted him. “Dash!” She jumped up and ran across the floor, throwing her arms around his neck and sobbing. “I thought I’d lost you.”

He didn’t quite know what to do with his arms so he patted her on the back. The affection she held for him had to end. Now. “Let’s go find someplace private. I need to tell you something.”

She took his hand and led him out to the hallway. “Why are you here? Is the fire contained?”

“No.” He pulled her into an alcove by the concession stand outside the gym. “The fire spread into the city, and Chief Rodgers told us to get out, take care of our people.”

“It’s in the city?” She cupped her hand over her mouth as if horrified by her own words.

“My home is gone.” Shudders wracked his spine. “Command center got hit by a tornado.” He straightened his shoulders. “But we’re safe here.”
For how long?

“Oh my God!” Her chest heaved and she seemed to struggle for breath. “It’s a good thing Simone got us out when she did.”

Ms. Look Out for Number One played hero?
“She saved all of you?”

Cassie nodded. “She put me in charge of getting us to the shelter, but her quick thinking and organization turned a potential disaster into a safe place.”

Dash smiled and stood up straight, bolstered by their courage. “Where is she?”              

“I don’t know.” Cassie brushed him off with a wave.

“What?” His heart pounded and the cold sweat returned. “Is she…?” He couldn’t finish the question.

She seemed to realize what he feared and quickly filled him in. “She’s here. She went for a walk, and I haven’t seen her since.”

He dropped back against the wall and waited for his racing pulse to settle down. “I’ll find her.”

“Why?” Cassie pulled away from him.

He shuddered under her penetrating stare, but he chose to open up to her for once. “I need her in my life. Even after all Simone and I have been through, I can’t give up on her. Not again.”
Make sure she knows what you mean.
“Cassie, there will never be anything between you and me.”

“I’m well aware of that.” But her voice cracked and her lower lip trembled. “Goodbye, Dash.” She turned and tried to walk away.

“Wait.” He squeezed her fingers before she slipped from his grasp.
What am I doing? Just let her go
. “You meant something to me.”

She faced him and her eyes narrowed. “Really? Why didn’t you tell me you were a poet?”

A what?
He hadn’t told anyone since high school. “How did you know about that?”

“Simone was reading your book.”

Oh shit, she’s gonna hate me.
“I wrote those poems after we broke up. I can’t go through that again. Not alone. I’ve lost too much already. Brett, Ray, my home.”

Cassie blinked rapidly. “I’m sorry for your loss.” Her face hardened and she sniffed. “Why do you want her back? She told me you had a difficult relationship.”

Difficult, challenging, passionate. Real. “She’s the only person I can’t BS. I’ve got everyone else fooled. I’m supposed to be this badass hero, but she knows who I really am and that’s a relief. She’s my shelter.”

“Isn’t that sweet.”

He took her hands in his. “I’m sorry we couldn’t—
I
couldn’t make us work.”

“Are you sure it’s going to work with her?” She stepped closer as if hanging on to hope.

“Not at all.”
Jesus, what am I doing?
“But I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t try.                             Simone might hurt me again, but damn it, I don’t care.”

“This is the man I knew. You thrive on danger, not knowing if you’ll survive without getting burned.”

“I fooled you too.” He squeezed her hands. “I’m sorry.”

Her lip curled and she pulled back. “Fine. I’m not going to wait around for you. Life is too short. You know that.”

“I know.” He tried to sweep her hair behind her ear, but she flinched from his touch. “That’s why you need to go. You can’t hang on to me, especially when we don’t know what the future holds.”

“You’re such a hero.” She jerked free and stomped down the hallway, her heels echoing in the dark.

Why does everyone keep calling me that?
He leaned back against the wall and dug his palm heels into his eyes. “I’m just a regular guy trying to live my life.” And maybe love again.

He’d never been good at breaking up even though he’d done it many times in the last thirteen years. The pain of leaving Simone had haunted him, casting doom over every relationship he’d been in.
Time to bury that for good.
He stood and stared down the dark hallway, trying to remember the school’s layout from his one trip here on career day. Simone could be in any one of the classrooms.

Find her. Keep her safe. Don’t give up.

He searched the long hallway, peering in each quiet room he passed while second and fifth thoughts followed him.

What if she cheats again?

Dash stopped in his tracks as the nagging doubts held him back. But another voice joined the battle in his head, proclaiming Simone’s innocence and condemning his brother as the liar.

CHAPTER 12

Simone stared at the book, seeing without reading. Pain dripped from every page. Anger burned from the words.
What did I do to him?
She moved her fingers aside and read the poem she’d been hiding from.

‘She said she’d never hurt me.

She said she’d never leave me.

But she never said the words.

She said I was her best friend.

She said I was her everything.

But she never said the words.

When he said she’d been unfaithful,

she said, “I’m innocent.”

But she never said the words I needed to hear.’

The book trembled in her grip as she closed it and held it against her aching heart. “Oh my God. I hurt him so much. I never knew.”

“I’m sorry I’m late.” She kissed his flat lips then shoved Mal. “This asshole told me you wanted me to go to the football stadium instead.”

“So you went there and fucked him?”

“What?” Simone staggered back a step, glaring at Mal. “No. I didn’t.”

“Then how did he get this?” Dash threw something shiny at her.

The chain wrapped around her fingers as she caught it reflexively. She opened her palm and dragged her thumb over the dual-hearted necklace he’d given her. “That’s not possible.” She clamped her hand on her chest, searching for the silver pendant she always wore, but found only bare skin. “How did you get this?”

“You took it off when you fucked him!”

“No!” She waved Dash off and stalked toward Mal. “I want to hear it from you.”

The bastard smiled. “It kept getting caught on my dick while you were giving me a blow job, so you took it off and gave it to me.”

“Jesus Christ!” Dash ran his hands through his hair.

Simone spun toward him. “He’s lying! I never take this off. Not even for you.”

His hands clenched into fists. He rocked back and forth as if wavering between them. “Were you going to tell me about this or did you plan to keep sleeping with him while I was at school?”

“That’s crazy!” She shoved the necklace in her pocket. “I’m going to college too. And Mal goes back to law school next week.”

“So you know when he’s leaving? Got plans for a big send-off?” He stalked toward her, eyes blazing.

“No! Damn it, Dash, listen to me!” She slapped her hands on his shoulders and forced him to stop. “I didn’t sleep with your brother. I would never hurt you like that.”

His lower lip quivered and his eyes shone. “How could you do this to me when you know I have doubts? How do I know the last two years haven’t been another performance?”

“A performance?” She’d never been fake with him—ever.

He wrenched free of her. “Do you even care about me? All you do is beg for attention, and you have no idea what’s going on around you—how other people feel.”

“What are you talking about?”

He shook his head and stomped toward his truck.

She ran after him and grabbed at his arm. “Dash, talk to me, please. I don’t understand.”

“No, you don’t.” He turned, evading her grasp as he walked backward. “We’re done, Simone. I’m leaving tomorrow, and I don’t know when I’ll be back—or if.” He stopped and reached for the door handle, giving her one last snarl of pure rage. “I hate you both.”

“Dash, wait!”

He jumped in his truck and sped off, spraying gravel as he drove away.

Simone’s entire world collapsed around her, crushing the air from her lungs as she turned on Mal. “What have you done?”

“Don’t worry. He’ll come running back to you when he cools off.” Mal laughed.

“This isn’t a joke!” Her fingers curled, itching for revenge.

“It’s hilarious. I knew this would piss him off, but I didn’t expect him to lose it like that.”

“You bastard!” She punched Mal in the gut, dropping him to his knees. “I’ve made Dash really angry a lot of times, but he never once said he hated me. This is for real!”

For real. He’d accused her of performing for his attention, of being so wrapped up in her problems that she never noticed he suffered too. “I’m guilty. He needed to hear me say that I loved him, but I didn’t unless he said it first. That’s why he believed Mal. I knew he loved me, but he didn’t know I loved him.”

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a silver, dual-hearted necklace, the same one Dash had given her for her sixteenth birthday. She’d spotted it in her jewelry box that morning while looking for her watch, and picked it up for reasons she couldn’t explain.

“You and me wrapped around each other in an infinite loop.”
He’d locked it around her neck, and she’d never taken it off.
How did Mal get it?
She’d tried to forget that night, but now she had to remember and explain.

She got out of the car and waited for Dash. Mal said he’d be there. Her watch showed him to be fifteen minutes late. She’d give him fifteen more, then go to Conifer Lake where they’d originally planned to meet.

Gravel crunched as a car pulled up and Mal got out. “Hey, baby.”

“What are you doing here? Is Dash all right?”

“He’s fine.” He rolled his wrist and laughed at his watch. “Probably pretty pissed off by now since you haven’t shown up at the lake.”

“What? You told me he wanted me to come here.” She marched toward her car.

“Wait.” Mal caught up with her. “I lied about that. I’m sorry.”

“Then why are we here?”

He placed his hand on her shoulder. “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For trying to take you from him. You two are meant to be. I can see that now.”

“I hope you have a shovel in your car, Mal. The bullshit’s getting deep.”

“And for kissing you, and touching you when I caught you changing. I never should’ve done it.”

“That was months ago.”

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.” He massaged the back of her neck with his fingers. “I never meant to hurt you.” A flash caught her eye as he pulled his hand away.

“He wasn’t apologizing! The bastard stole my necklace!” The book-laden stacks muffled her voice, smothering her words as if the revelation hadn’t mattered at all.

She jumped to her feet and jammed Dash’s book in her pocket. She clasped the necklace on, vowing never to lose it, even if she lost him. Especially if she lost him. “Oh my God!” They’d left the radio behind in their scramble to evacuate the command center, and she’d had no word from him for hours.
Is he still alive?
She choked down a sob and ran through the bookshelf maze, spinning around one blind turn after another. “How do I get out of here?”

“Simone?” The bookshelf maze misdirected his call.

“Dash!” She ran toward the sound, bouncing into his chest as he appeared, soiled and soot-covered, an apparition from her past she could no longer live without. “You’re here! You’re safe!”

“Ah, darlin’.” He swept her up against worn, bound leather and cold steel shelves. The smell of burnt timber wafted over them. “Takes more than a wildfire hurricane to get rid of me.” He dragged his open mouth along the column of her neck, his breath hot on her skin.

She laughed, deep, enduring bubbles of joy she hadn’t felt in far too long. A rebellious impulse seized her. “I’ll try harder next time.”

He rolled his eyes and squeezed her tight, nipping at her ear. “I’d expect nothing less.” Then he stepped back and his eyes got serious. “I need to tell you something.”

Oh shit, this is bad.
“What?” She held onto his shirt as an old fear expected him to bolt again.

“On the way here, I saw your apartment complex in the path of the fire.”

Her heart pounded and the room turned hot and swirling. “God, no.”

Dash slid his hands under her arms, steadying her. “Maybe it’ll stop, or the wind will drive it away from your building.”

“Really?” Simone cocked an eyebrow and read bullshit on his face.

“No, it’s gone.” He stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. “Will you lose much?”

His touch focused her thoughts. “Everything I have is in that place, most of it still in boxes.” She unpacked what she needed to get by, but the things that made up her life sat taped inside cardboard.

“Mine too. I’ve been here three years, but I’ve been dragging boxes around every time I moved, things I never unpacked, never found a place for.”

She smiled, knowing she’d done the same. “All my track trophies.”

He nodded. “Football.”

“Ticket stubs, my prom corsage. Every single flower you ever gave me, dried up and dusty.” Gifts he’d given her, events they’d shared.

“The Rolling Stones record you gave me for Christmas.” A short laugh escaped him.

He still has that?
“Did you ever get a record player?”

“Nope.” He grinned then pulled her close and buried his face in her hair. “Things I couldn’t look at every day, but I couldn’t bear to part with.”

A sob welled up in her throat. “Oh God, the poem you wrote me.”

“What poem?” He leaned back and frowned.

“The dirty one I sent back and told you to write something nice.”

“You kept that? That last time I saw it, it was stuck to your boob.” He peeked down her shirt.

“Written words are permanent, you said. And you’d written ‘I love you.’” She’d never give up those words. Never. “So I kept it in my journal. It’s probably burning now.” She’d never read it again after he left, but having his love in ink kept her hope alive.

“I’ll write you a new one.” He nuzzled her hair. “Every day. Nice ones with pretty words.”

She slipped her hand between them, stroking down to his thighs. “I want some dirty words too.”

“As you wish.” He cupped a handful of her ass and squeezed.

“People always say things can be replaced, but some things can’t be saved.” The hope sputtered and died. She rested her head on his chest.

“But others can be rebuilt.” His heart thundered under her ear.

She raised her head and studied his face, searching for signs that he was being brave for her. “That takes a lot of work, and a solid foundation.”

He shifted in front of her, holding her arms, all focused determination and strength. “I know, but damn it, we gotta try or I’ll always wonder ‘what if?’”

The question that had plagued her without end. “I’ve been asking myself that for years.”

“What if Mal was lying? What if you were innocent? Funny thing is…it doesn’t matter anymore. What if I’d believed you, stuck around and fought for you?”

It doesn’t matter? No. Never did.
Joy flickered in her heart. “Fought with me.”

“Hell yeah.” His eyes lit. “I loved that, no matter how crazy you made me. But I thought all the fighting meant that we couldn’t last, and I was fooling myself thinking that you’d stay with me, especially when we were going to separate colleges.”

She had to tell him, had to explain. “I chose the best school for me, and I could let you go somewhere else because I knew you loved me. You were my anchor, my lifeline back home, and I’m sorry you felt…”
Unloved? My God, I’m such a fool.
“That you didn’t know…”
Tell him!

But Dash rushed ahead with his confession. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I was afraid…of losing you, and when I walked away, I couldn’t go back and face what I’d done to you.” Thirteen years. Both of them too stupid and too stubborn to figure out what went wrong.

“We’ve lost so much.”

His eyes turned grim and his grip on her tightened. “We’re going to lose more. This fire is out of control, and that storm is still coming. The worst of it hasn’t hit yet.”

Reality smacked her in the face. “Does anyone else know?”

“No, I told them the shelter is safe.” He stepped back, running his hands through his hair.

Of course, no sense causing a panic. “But if the fire gets across the river…”

“There’s no stopping it.” The words escaped in a hoarse whisper.

“Jesus.” Her heart raced and spots swam before her eyes. She reached for Dash, but her grip faltered and missed.

He clasped both her hands in his. “But no matter what happens, no matter how bad things get—you and me—we’re staying together. I won’t desert you. Not again.” He wrapped her in his arms, holding her close while they trembled.

She slid her hands up his back into his soot-caked hair while he nuzzled the base of her neck. Her inability to tell him what her heart held had cost them far too much.
I can’t lose him again. Not while I can do something about it.
“I love you, Daschle Herbert Ryder.”