Willing Sacrifice (7 page)

When I woke up again it was getting light outside. I looked at the clock to confirm this and sat up with a blazing headache.

Gage's deep voice whispered from his room next to mine and I recognized Brian whispering back. Moments later Gage came in carrying Brian who was still wearing bright yellow Sponge Bob pajamas; Gage was only wearing a pair of Levi’s... I wasn’t sure which one I wanted to crawl into my bed at that moment.

"Morning Sugar," Gage whispered apologetically putting Brian down on my bed. "He said he missed you, and I couldn't just make him go back to bed..."

Brian walked on his knees until he had his sleepy little body level with mine and he flopped down with a quiet giggle.

Gage swiped a hand through his longish hair. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"I think Sugar 3.0 was overloaded with incoming files and had to shut down to reboot." I answered.

He looked at me with a little concern in his eyes. "Are you sure you’re okay?"

I propped myself up on my elbows, "Let's see if I got this right? He's in control unless we catch him breaking the rules, wait ’til June Challenges, or someone gets knocked up? Since I seem to be the one with a golden reproductive system I am assuming that's why Elder Coon planted the seed to get me here?"

He didn't respond.

"Answer me." I demanded.

"What do you want to hear?"

"That's a stupid question; I want to hear the truth for once."

"I never lied to you."

"Yes you did. You lied by omission, and that is lying." I whispered out harshly.

"We didn't think you would come if you knew the truth."

"You might have been right. It’s one thing to hold me over the shark’s opened jaws as bait, but it’s quite another to put me in the water to go swimming. Don't you think it would have been better to tell me what I was getting into?"

"The main plan is still to catch him breaking the laws."

"Yeah, then it will be which laws he’s broken or how many."

Gage looked to Brian, reminding me the little boy was in the room and I clamped my mouth shut.

"We'll talk later." He said while leaving the room and closing the door.

"Miss Sugar, are you here to stay with us?" Brian's eyes shone with the hope I didn't have.

"It’s a secret, baby boy. You've got to zip your lips and throw away the key on that one. Don't trust any of the girls, they’re on his team."

"Why are they on his side?"

"Because, those girls would do anything to be his wife,” I answered. “That means they get to boss people around and spend lots of money."

"Is he trying to make us go away?"

"Don't worry Brian; Miss Sugar didn't listen to Uncle Jack. Do you really think I'm going to listen to this guy?"

He paused looking up at his hands for a moment before speaking again. "I like him, he reminds me of Uncle Jack."

"Uncle Jack didn't play games." I argued.

"He did to get you here the first time."

I wasn't surprised Brian knew this. People had a tendency to forget he was in the room and they spoke freely around him, thinking he understood far less or forgot far more than he really did. He was like a four-foot spy in Sponge Bob pajamas.

"Let’s go get some breakfast." I pulled Brian off the bed to follow me down the stairs quietly.

The new Alpha was still in bed, he had taken the downstairs bedroom, which was the largest. It was intended to be the Alpha's but Jack had given it to Sarah and Kyle and he had used the room next to mine.

We poured about half a box of cereal into a mixing bowl and added a quarter of the gallon of milk, then parked ourselves in front of the television for some cartoons.

I didn't bother turning down the volume and soon the incessant giggling of a sea sponge and his pink starfish cohort echoed through the downstairs.

A man's hand grabbed Brian's little wrist as he held a spoonful of sugary marshmallowy goodness. "Did I say you could eat yet?" Robert asked calmly only inches away from Brian's surprised face. I promptly dumped the remains of the bowl of cold cereal on the Alpha’s hot head. Suddenly the room was full of people and I thanked God. Robert stood up very slowly from his kneeling position, the bowl falling to the floor with a metallic clanging. I could still see the tinge of bright red on Robert’s face even through the pattern of milk dripping down onto his shoulders and the floor.

"You are not the only Alpha in this house. I said he could eat, so back off." I growled back.

Something had occurred to me during or directly after my reboot from the night before. He couldn't Challenge me either... not until the Challenges. We were of equal position and I wasn't fighting him for that, so he had no reason to pull that card, not without breaking the rules anyway.

Brian was clinging to my side with a look of shock in his eyes.

Robert wiped a hand down his face and smiled. "Your reputation is well deserved."

I was pretty sure he was calling me a bitch, but I had won one battle this morning, there was no need to push my luck. I couldn't help smiling just the same. It looked like if I was going to force this guy into breaking a few rules I was going to have to bend a few rules of my own.

He stepped forward and brushed his fingers across my cheek then he growled and it wasn’t an, “I’m mad” kind of growl; it sounded more like a purr. Then he said the absolute scariest thing he possibly could have. "Your weakness for the boy is very becoming. You will make an excellent mother." He turned and walked back into his room, chuckling over his shoulder.

I looked at Sarah, Kyle and Gage standing on the threshold to the living room and forced a smile. "I'm back."

A redhead walked up to me and snorted. "What are you going to do genius? You're never going to get on his good side like that."

"I wasn't aware he had a good side." I snapped back.

She looked me over and shook her head. "Oh he has a good side, a very good side." She smiled and turned on her toes and left the room.

Gage grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the stairs and up to our conjoined bedrooms. "Sugar, are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"He can't touch me, we're on equal ground." I rubbed my sore arm and glared some more.

"Sugar, Elder Coon doesn't have the authority to grant you your title without the vote of the others. She's playing a game here, don't blow it."

"Would you guys please tell me the important stuff?" I snapped back. "This is ridiculous, if I cower he'll know something's up and if I don't he'll lose his mind and kill me?" I crossed my arms. "This is bullshit!"

"Did you really think it was going to be easy?"

"No, because everything's a freakin’ game to you people. Just shoot the bastard between the eyes and move on."

"Wasn't it you who told me people of power bend the rules? If they were to bend the rules because this Alpha doesn't meet expectations, when would it stop? Yes, they know he's a bad guy, and yes, what he's doing isn't exactly moral, but he hasn't done anything detrimental to the pack yet." He held up his hands and shrugged.

"What he is doing to the pack is going to kill it just the same." I said sadly, putting space between us.

"Sugar, I’m sorry; you’re right.” He softened and closed the gap between us taking my hands in his gently. “You want to go for a run? It usually helps me blow off steam." He smiled sweetly and wiggled his eyebrows.

"I can’t… right now. I need to check on Brian.”

“That’s fine if you don’t want to go for a run.” He leaned forward and nuzzled my neck, “There are other ways to blow off steam.”

I smiled and removed my hands from his. He shrugged backing away, still with that too playful smile on his lips and turned to leave my room. I didn’t follow until I could breathe again and I heard the television turn on.

I decided to go outside. I walked around the large yard remembering every little detail about my happiness here, very little had changed about the house on the outside except for the quickly melting patches of snow hidden in the shadows of the house and woods. When I had been here summer was well on her way. Finally I found myself in the backyard staring at what looked like the remainder of a forest after a fire. Black twisted ten foot stalks jutting straight up throughout the still yellow grass of the lawn. Huge black ravens cawed and pecked at the grass between the rows.

“They were sunflowers.”

I jumped and spun on the voice from the porch. Despite the chill in the air and the melting snow, Kyle stood on the back deck in a tee-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts and flip flops, looking as laid back and casual as always.

“You scared me.” I all but whispered, my attention returning to the forest of dead sunflowers.

“He knew they were your favorite,” Kyle’s voice shook a little. “He and I planted them. He made me promise to replant them for you every year… if he wasn’t around to do it.” Kyle cleared his throat but didn’t continue. I didn’t even realize he went inside until the patio door closed behind him.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I fought to contain them, but soon they spilled over along with the last of my strength to hold back the emotion. Not wanting to be within ear shot of the house I stumbled slowly to the woodshed just on the far edge of the lawn and under yet another line of trees.

Silent sobs racked my body as I slid down the rough surface of the shed’s back wall. It was agony to feel this much pain for someone, someone I had known for a total of less than three weeks. We were never meant to be together. Why didn’t I just stay away from him to begin with? I had isolated myself for so long it should have been easy, and then maybe he’d still be alive and his pack and family would still have him.

Clearing away the last of my tears I rose on shaky legs. There was no rhyme or reason for all of this; it just happened, like a curse.

I didn’t want to go into the house so I decided to explore the woods. After walking for nearly an hour I came to the high banks of the brook that fed into the nearby lake. The brook never went dry, because it was spring fed from below. Right now it was high with the water from the melting snow and ice. It raged over the smooth rocks it had beaten down throughout the millennia, churning the cold black water as it eddied and boiled over them. There was no sound except the thrashing of water and no smell but its fertile banks. A tiny nudge from behind followed by the feel of static brushing my skin reminded me of Jack’s invisible nearness and intensions. I took a wide step back away from the banks steep edge. "I hate you, Jack!" I screamed as loud as I could through the pain in my closed throat. "You fucking left me!" I fumbled off the moonstone I had wrapped around my wrist as a bracelet and dropped it unceremoniously into the strongest part of the current.

A blur of movement passed me, diving directly into the shallow rapids of the cold brook below. At first I stood in bewildered shock; had that been a real person? I waited for him to surface, and when no one did, I followed the current back towards the lake, picking up my pace as I went. Its rapids slowed up ahead and its banks were less steep as it widened near the mouth.

Gage walked out of the water removing his cold wet tee-shirt in one fluid motion. He wiped a hand over his serious face and held up Jack's medallion for me to take. I reached out and he pulled his arm back so I had to come closer. He brought a cold hand up to my face and I leaned into his touch closing my eyes and wanting more.

"You're not alone." He pulled me into a cold hug, kissing the top of my head in a brotherly way. He started to back away but stopped, lowering his lips to mine in a kiss so gentle I didn’t pull away. He continued soft and slow, as if every movement was choreographed. I couldn’t get over how gentle it was, to think this man was physically strong enough to kill me with one good hit, but he kissed me as if I were made of spun sugar.

He pulled away suddenly and wiped his mouth with a shaking hand, like my lips were painted in poison. Swallowing hard he cleared his throat. "Shit." He backed away again. "I didn't mean to do that."

I slumped silently, feeling hurt and even more alone than I had only moments before. "What's wrong with me?" I whispered in confusion and pain.

Rather than answer me, he walked up the bank heading back towards the house.

I ached inside; I just wanted to be loved. I didn't want anything more and looking back through all the years until Jack, I had come to the conclusion that I couldn't be. Maybe if Jack had gotten to know me, instead of me just being some sort of impossible conquest, he wouldn't have loved me either. Nobody wants to be alone, but maybe some of us are destined for it anyway, life just isn't always fair.

Elder Coon had been right. What was I looking for, the perfect romance? That obviously wasn't my providence, so maybe my sacrifice to my family was? I just had to decide how big a sacrifice I was willing to give.

I walked into the house nearly an hour later and Sarah grabbed my arm and dragged me up the stairs to her room. "What did you do?" She demanded.

"Nothing." I answered automatically.

"That Gage guy came in here all hot and bothered."

"What do you mean?" I asked, a little worried he had said something.

"He walked in soaking wet and half naked, and then he threw Jersey over his shoulder with one hand and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and a deck of cards with the other, now they are up in her room."

I listened carefully and I heard very faintly the sounds of their laughter coming from her room across the hall. I stiffened and clenched my jaw shut, my teeth grinding together in a high-pitched screech. I counted to twenty before answering Sarah, "I wonder what the cards are for?"

"Don't give me that." She pushed past me into her room.

I shrugged and felt a familiar mask of cold detachment slide over me.

Sarah looked at me closely, "Don't pull that hide and seek shit with me, Sugar. I know you're still in there."

I smiled, "Whatever, it’s no big deal."

I turned and opened the door to leave when that all too familiar feeling of static crawled over my skin like a thousand spiders. I laughed softly, “Go away Jack." The bookshelf in the hall tilted and crashed to the floor near my feet. I swung out and connected with an earsplitting strike where his face would be.

Robert who had been standing in the hall listening to Sarah and my conversation cocked his head like a curious bird and looked at the empty space I had just fired a punch at. "You want to tell me what the hell is going on?" He was looking at the heavy bookshelf as if I had done something to make it fall.

Gage appeared out of nowhere stinking of whiskey and perfume. He grabbed my arm and pushed me towards the stairs but without a sound, Robert’s hand whipped out and grabbed him.

"I'm talking with Sugar right now, boy. Why don't you go back to your little bitten fun toy and let the grown ups talk."

I smirked sarcastically at the Alpha but didn't say anything while the few spectators cleared out around us. "So Sugar, you ready to tell me what that was?" He smoothed the sleeve of my shirt and crossed his arms.

"That was my dead husband showing his disapproval that I’m still breathing, and when the Challenges come, kicking your ass is going to be a cake walk in the park compare to dealing with him." I gave him an empty smile and rolled my shoulders.

Without missing a beat he chuckled, "Honey I was hoping we could be friends.”

When I didn’t answer him he continued, "Well, now that your little friend is busy with the bitten wolf maybe you'll change your mind." He started towards the stairs and looked back at me over his shoulder. "I see now what all the fuss is about; few people would take a swing at Jack in life and just because he’s dead he isn’t any less terrifying. When you’re ready to talk I’ll be downstairs.”

I turned and went up to my room. I was walking through Gage's bedroom to get to my own when I noticed Jersey wasn't with him and he tried following me into my room but I slammed the broken door in his face.

"Sugar?" He called from the opposite side, his voice muffled by the thick wood.

I watched the door to make sure he didn't break the handle on this one. He had boundary issues.

"Sugar, we need to talk," He whispered. "Sugar, we didn't do anything." He mumbled when I still didn't move to let him in.

I ripped the door open inches from his face. "Don't fucking lie to me." I tried to slam the door again but he stopped it and walked through closing it behind him softly.

"Get out!" I snarled.

"Sugar, please calm down."

"You son of a bitch, you have no idea what I've got going against me. All you have to do is sit back and wait. I could be doing this all for nothing; you might win the pack during the next Challenges."

He opened his mouth to speak but wasn't able to find the words to argue my predicament. You don't tell anyone to calm down when they are as mad as I was.

I tried pushing past him but he put a hand on my shoulder and shook his head. "We need to talk. I wasn't lying when I told you that you weren't in this alone."

I thought for a moment and came up with the meanest thing I could think of. "I'm going to talk to Robert."

Gage stiffened but didn't move to stop me. "Why?"

"He knows about the plan." I answered on my way out. “And I can’t stand being in the same room with you.”

Gage blocked my path with his thick arms crossed over his chest.

“Move or I’ll scream. I may not be able to muscle you around but I have a sneaking suspicion that Robert can.” I met his gaze but didn’t waver ’til he looked down and then stepped out of my way.