Wind Song (31 page)

He soon realized the futility of it. There were simply too many of them and too much ground for him to cover.

Winded, he stumbled to a halt and watched with a combination of awe and incredulity as the fabric in his hand began to disappear beneath a mass of hungry insects. Cursing, he discarded the shirt and covered his face with his hands in an attempt to block out the horrible, destructive force around him. But there was no escaping the dreadful drone that filled the air, nor the sting of flying insects against his flesh.

He'd survived the invasion of grasshoppers that had demolished this land in '67, but that was nothing compared to this. These grasshoppers were eating everything in sight, the stalks, the sod, even the wooden handles of his

tools.

There was not a thing he could do but go home.

Brushing the insects away from his face, he searched for his horse, but the animal had evidently panicked and run off. There was no sign of the horse, only Maddie's wagon, racing toward him. His heart lilted at sight of her, a habit he seemed to have no control over. But reality soon took hold, and his only thought was to protect her from the horror that surrounded him.

What was she thinking of, anyway, to come out here? His only hope was that she didn't have Matthew with her. He waved his arms over his head. "Go back, Maddie. Please go back!"

The wagon kept coming, and he realized she probably couldn't see him through the cloud of grasshoppers. Despite his annoyance at her, he was amused to hear that god-awful whistle of hers. Even the incredibly loud drone of the grasshoppers couldn't drown out the shrill, clear sound of Maddie's whistle.

No sooner had the whistle sliced through the air than the flapping sound of grasshopper wings grew louder. Suddenly the top lever of soil lifted upward and took flight. The darting black spots seemed to move in a frenzied spiral but were, in reality, moving south. Luke stood and watched in utter amazement as the dots came together overhead to form a dark, whirling cloud.

The droning sound began to fade away as the cloud drifted off.

As quickly as it had come, the ravenous swarm left. All that remained was a few dying insects.

Luke watched the cloud until it was but a tiny spot in the distance. Overcome with relief, he threw his fist into the air and yelled with joy.

Like a child on Christmas morning, he ran between corns talks, his heart beating out a song of thanksgiving. The leaves had been chewed, but the damage was nowhere near what it could have been. The crops had been saved!

He turned as the rumbling sound of wagon wheels drew near. Maddie waved and pulled up by his side, tearing the shawl from her head. "Luke! Are you all right?"

"All right? My God, Maddie. I've never been more all right in my life. What are you doing out here?"

"I wanted to see if you needed any help with the crops." She jumped to the ground and examined one of the corn stalks.

He pulled her into his arms. "Do you know what you did? You saved the crops!"

She looked thoroughly confused. "Oh, Luke, that's wonderful. About the crops, I mean… But I don't understand. How did
I
save them?"

"You really don't know, do you? When you whistled, the grasshoppers left." He threw his head back and laughed at the absurdity of it all.

"Are you sure that's what did it?" Maddie gazed around her. "I didn't think grasshoppers could hear."

"I don't know if they can hear or not. All I know is that when you whistled, they left. To tell the truth, I don't blame them."

She slapped at him playfully, and he drew her nearer. At that moment he felt like the happiest man alive. "I thought I was about to lose everything again. Oh, Maddie…"

He pressed his lips to her forehead, but when he felt her stiffen in his arms, he pulled his mouth away.

Still clinging to him, she lifted her lashes and searched his face. He felt himself drowning in the pretty green depths of her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Maddie." The apology was ripped from the very depths of him, and the next words came out in a muffled sob. "I never meant to hurt you."

Her eyes widened. "You didn't hurt me…not that much. It was my first time."

He looked astonished. "Your first? But you seemed so…at ease. As if making love was the most natural thing in the world to you. I thought--"

They stared at each other.

"Is that why you pulled away? Because you thought there had been others before you?"

"My God, Maddie. Is that what you think?"

"What else can I think?"

"I was wrong to leave you like that. But when I heard you cry out…I thought I'd hurt you. I mean
really
hurt you. I couldn't bear to think that I brought you pain."

"And you don't think that leaving me without a word of explanation…you don't think that caused me pain? I thought I'd done something wrong. I thought you didn't love me."

Hearing the word
love
on her lips made his heart pound that much faster. He wasn't use to hearing that word spoken aloud. He'd been taught to fight such feelings, not talk about them."

"You don't…do you?" she whispered. "You don't love me. Last night meant nothing to you."

He tightened his fingers around her upper arms. "Last night meant everything to me, Maddie. And…I do love you."

"You don't have to say things, you know, that you don't mean."

"I mean every word."

She searched his face and looked unconvinced. "I know I'm not the kind of woman who's easy to love. So don't feel you have to say things to make me feel better. I'm not good at womanly things. I'm never quite sure how to act around men."

"You know how to act around me, Maddie."

"I…I do? I mean you're not just saying that--"

"I mean it," he said hoarsely.

He dropped his hand to her waist, then slipped his arms around her. When she offered no resistance, he crushed her to him and covered her mouth hungrily. Her tall, lithe body molded against his as easily as the Kansas sky met the prairie land.

She pressed the hardening tips of her breasts against his bare chest. His arms around his neck, she ran her fingers through his hair, and her warm, sensuous lips seemed to melt with the touch of his tongue.

He pulled his mouth away and touched his hand to her cheek.

"Oh, Maddie," he whispered. "I would never forgive myself if I did anything to bring you more pain."

The open, honest look she gave him made him feel even more of a fool because of all the things he'd kept from her. "It should be easier the second time," she said.

He drew away from her. "Maddie, there can't be a second time."

She couldn't have looked more stricken had he slapped her--and indeed, he felt that he had. "Why…why not?"

He closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see the look of devastation on her face. "Because I love you too much." He reached over and picked up his hat. After giving it a good whack against his thigh, he pressed it on his head.

"Wait!" she called, as he turned away. "You can't just say something like that and not explain."

He gazed across the prairie. The cloud of grasshoppers had disappeared. But the cloud that was his past remained. "We'll talk about this later."

"Now, Luke. I want to talk about it now."

He met her eyes. "I don't think we should leave Matthew alone any longer."

Something seemed to drain out of her. She looked like a soldier who had suddenly surrendered in defeat. Finally, she let her head dip in stoic little nod that nearly broke his heart. "You're right. Matthew is waiting."

Luke drove the wagon home with Maddie by his side, her back as straight and rigid as a pole. Neither spoke, not in words, but they talked to each other with imploring glances and silent pleas until the air between them hung thick with unspoken messages.

No sooner had Luke pulled the wagon in front of the soddy than Matthew ran outside to greet them. He pointed in the direction the grasshoppers had gone.

"You're right, son. They're gone. Thanks to Maddie." Luke jumped to the ground, then stooped down to let Matthew onto his back, carrying him piggyback into the house.

Maddie stood watching father and son until they disappeared from sight. Then, throwing her shawl over her arm, she followed them into the soddy.

It seemed necessary to immerse herself in domestic chores. It was not the horrors of the day that haunted her, but the memories of the night. As long as she kept busy, she could keep the threatening tears at bay.

"I'll have to check out the well," Luke said. He, too, seemed to need to focus on domestic chores, as if to distance himself from that night. Or from her. "Make sure it's not contaminated." He drank a glass of water and set the glass down on the table. His actions seemed hesitant, as if every movement had to be thought out in advance. "I just hope they didn't get into the dairy cistern or the smokehouse."

"I'm sure they didn't." She glanced out the window, but all she could see was clear blue sky. It looked like a perfectly normal day on the outside. How amazing. Inside, she felt anything but normal.

Matthew opened the door cautiously, but when one of the dying grasshoppers hopped inside, he jumped back.

"It won't hurt you." Maddie stooped to pick up the grasshopper from the floor and held it up for Matthew to see. "I've never seen such tiny grasshoppers."

Barely longer than an inch, it was half the size of the grasshoppers back home. "It's interesting," she continued. "Look at the unusual colorings." The red and yellow colors were beginning to fade. "We definitely need to exhibit this in our museum." She carefully placed the insect into one of the jars she's used for specimens.

That night, after Matthew was asleep, Maddie and Luke sat at the table drinking coffee. Luke looked tired, his face etched with lines of fatigue.

The three of them had walked around the property earlier, assessing the damage.

As bad as the damage was, though, it was nowhere near as devastating as it could have been. The chickens were bloated with grasshoppers, but the well had escaped, and that was the most important concern. The water that was kept by the side of the house had to be dumped and the barrels scrubbed, but even this was minor compared to what could have happened.

"More coffee?" she asked.

He shook his head no.

"I better let you get some sleep."

"It's been a hard day," he admitted. "But I don't want you to go. Not yet. Earlier…I said some things that you might have misunderstood."

I love you
is what he'd said, and he was right--she
had
misunderstood. But no longer. "You don't have to explain."

The lines deepened at his brow. "It was selfish of me to let this happen. I never meant for it to. I hope you can forgive me…"

"Forgive you? Luke this is ridiculous. I wanted to be close. I'm the one who forced…I practically threw myself at you."

"I don't think you did that, Maddie. Lord, I've wanted you since the first day you arrived on my doorstep. That's what makes it so hard for me."

"It doesn't have to be hard, Luke. Just don't lie to me. Don't tell me you care when obviously that's not true. I may be ignorant in matters of the heart, but I know that a man can want a woman and not have any special feelings for her."

"This isn't about want…not in the sense you mean. I love you, Maddie."

She took a deep breath, savoring the sound of his words, even though she knew them to be false.

Don't, Luke."

"It's true."

He looked so sincere that her heart skipped a beat.

"Then why?"

"You heard Lucy. You heard her call me a murderer."

Maddie swallowed hard. This introduction of the past was every bit as threatening as the grasshoppers had been. She didn't want to think about what Lucy had called him. "Some people don't need much of a reason to call a person names."

"She has every right to hate me." He sighted deeply and ran his fingers through his hair. "If you knew who I am…"