Winners (33 page)

“That she’ll never come back,” he said with sad eyes. “I lost her mother. I don’t want to lose her. What if she moves to Boston or New York?” Jessie smiled at what he said.

“Look at what you’ve given her, and done for her. Look at this house, the life she has here, the rehab center you’re starting that she’s excited about. The skiing she does here. Do you really think she won’t come back? Trust me, she will. She just wants to try her wings a little, and get a good education. You can’t blame her for that. And besides, she loves you. She’ll come home.”

“I never went back after I went to college,” he said somberly.

“This isn’t a coal mine. And she adores you. She’ll come back like a homing pigeon after college, and every chance she gets.”

“I wish she’d just stay here,” he said unhappily.

“You’re better off letting her go, then she’ll want to come back. This way she may really rebel,” Jessie warned him. She was afraid of it with Heather too.

“I don’t know. How are you doing with yours?”

“They hate me,” she said matter-of-factly. “Well, no, Jimmy doesn’t, but the other two think I’m public enemy number one. It’s not a lot of fun.”

“Lily is pissed at me too,” he said with a sigh. “Besides, I’d miss her so damned much. She’s my whole life,” he admitted mournfully, but Jessie already knew that about him.

“No, she isn’t. You have The Lily Pad now to keep you busy, and friends, and work, and you’re not going to lose her. She loves you too much to stay away for long. You’re her hero,” Jessie reassured him.

“Not at the moment,” he said with a wry smile.

“Why don’t you see where she gets accepted, and decide how you feel about it then? But try to keep an open mind.” He nodded, and she knew she had done the best she could for Lily, but Bill wasn’t an easy man to convince, and he was terrified to lose his daughter.

Jessie had dinner with Carole that evening, at her new apartment. It was a nice girls’ evening, which they hadn’t had in a long time. Jessie brought up the subject of Joe again, and Carole was still firm in her decision about not dating, but she sounded as though she had softened a little.

“You don’t know what it’s like to be so different. I feel disfigured,” she said quietly, referring to the mastectomy. “I don’t feel like a woman anymore.” Jessie knew that was the crux of it for her.

“If he loves you, he won’t care.”

“I don’t want to go through a bunch of painful surgeries for a guy.”

“You don’t have to. There have to be ways around it—sexy nightgowns, wear a bra with your prosthetics. You don’t have to pose for the centerfold of
Playboy
. Look at Lily, it’s about finding new ways to do old things and not letting an injury ruin your life. Lily has set one hell of an example for all of us. There has to be an easier solution than reconstructive surgery if you like the guy, and I’m beginning to think you do.”

“Maybe I do,” she conceded cautiously, “but I also don’t want to get hurt again. I got pretty badly burned by Dylan.”

“That’s a chance we all have to take. Even if you find a great one, he could die.” They both thought of Tim as she said it, and Jessie’s eyes were sad.

“What about you?” Carole asked her. Tim had been gone for fourteen months and the last thing Jessie wanted was another man. All she wanted was peace with her daughter. That was hard enough to achieve at the moment and her main concern.

“It’s too soon,” Jessie said simply. “Tim is a tough act to follow. He was the best.”

“You can’t win. Either they’re shits and you’re afraid the next one will be too, or they’re fabulous and no one else will ever measure up,” Carole said ruefully, and Jessie laughed.

“That pretty much sums it up.”

“What about Bill? He’s a good man, and I never see him with any woman.”

“He doesn’t want one. He’s got Lily. And we’re friends. I like it like that, and now he’s my boss. That’s too complicated for me.” Carole agreed. And Jessie clearly had no interest in Bill or anyone else. She was still sleeping in Tim’s pajamas and hadn’t packed up his clothes. She was starting to face the fact that it would be a good time to do it when she moved. She wasn’t going to send his wardrobe to Denver. It was time to let go, at least of his clothes.

Jessie didn’t see Lily again before she left, but she texted her that she had talked to her dad but couldn’t guarantee the results.

Three weeks later she got an ecstatic call from Lily. She had gotten into Brown, Princeton, and NYU. She had the choice of three great schools, all on the East Coast. “My dad is having a fit,” she reported to Jessie.

“Where do you want to go?” Jessie asked her.

“Princeton. Hands down.”

“What if you take a trip there with him and look around? Maybe he’ll feel better.” It was the only thing Jessie could think of to suggest.

“He went there with me on my college tour before I got hurt. He thought it was fine then. Now he doesn’t. And they even have handicapped services on campus. I checked. What now?”

“I don’t know. Try to talk to him and tell him how much it means to you.”

Lily talked to Carole about it too, and she said to give him time. But she had two weeks to accept or decline, and Bill hadn’t budged an inch. And she didn’t want to accept a place at college without his permission. He had to pay for it, after all. And what if he wouldn’t?

And then Teddy got the news that he had gotten into DU. He called his parents about it, and they were shocked that he had applied to college. And they were so relieved that he wasn’t asking to come home, or them to come out, that they said he could go. He had been accepted in the fine arts program, which was what he had wanted. And he said he was going to try for a master’s after that. He had big dreams. Craig had fostered that in him. And so had Phil and Lily.

Lily took him out to dinner that night to celebrate, and told him her woes about her father.

“Now you’re going to college,” she said mournfully, “and it looks like I won’t.”

“He’ll give in,” Teddy predicted. “If not, you can come to DU with me.”

“That’s what he wants. He wants me to be a baby forever.” She looked unhappy as she said it, and she took Teddy back to Craig after dinner. “Did you ask your parents about moving to The Lily Pad?” she asked when she dropped him off.

“That’s my next call. I figured one thing at a time. They consider me this vegetable they left out here, who can’t function on his own. They were totally shocked when I said I wanted to go to college. They think of me as Stephen Hawking, without the brain.” It hurt her to hear him say it, but it seemed to be true. They had no idea who he was, or what he was capable of, nor what his dreams were, and didn’t seem to care. She thought they were cowardly, selfish people. Teddy deserved so much more.

“They’d really freak out if they knew you play rugby,” she said, laughing. “Vegetables don’t play rugby. You kick ass out there,” she added, and he laughed too.

“Yeah, I do, don’t I,” he said proudly. Lily got out of the van then, and the attendant took Teddy into the building, and Lily went to get her car and drive home.

Her father was waiting up for her when she got there, and he walked into her bedroom as she got into bed. He had just watched a DVD of her winning the silver medal in Aspen, and he had been proud of her all over again.

“You’d better get to work on that sports program you told me you’d set up for us at The Lily Pad,” he said gruffly.

“Why now? I was going to start this summer after I graduate.”

“You may not have time.”

“Why not?” She looked confused.

“Because you won’t be here after the summer, if you’re going to Princeton.”

She looked at him carefully, as their eyes met. “Am I?”

“I guess you are,” he said with a sad smile. “I watched you tonight in that Alpine race that won you the silver medal. You’ve got wings, Lily. It’s time for you to fly.”

She threw her arms around his neck then and hugged him, with her eyes closed, as he fought a lump in his throat. “Thank you, Daddy … thank you … I promise I’ll make you proud of me.”

“You don’t have to,” he said with tears in his eyes. “You already did.”

Chapter 25

“And don’t forget Jimmy’s backpack!” Jessie shouted to Heather up the stairs, and then looked around the living room in Squaw for a last time. All of the furniture was already gone. It had left for Denver two weeks before and was arriving in two days. The only thing left were their beds and a few cartons from the kitchen. She had stripped the beds that morning, she had used ancient sheets that she had just thrown away, and the beds were being picked up and donated to Goodwill. Ben had promised to come by when they picked them up. And she had bought new beds for them in Denver that were already there, in their rooms. Their bags were packed and waiting in the front hall. She had sold her car to Kazuko. She had just bought a new one in Denver, thanks to Bill, and the generous salary he was paying her as medical director.

The shuttle to take them to Reno was due any minute, as the kids trooped down the stairs carrying their bags for the plane. Heather had Jimmy’s backpack, and he was carrying the stuffed dog he slept with. They acted like they were leaving the
Titanic
with all their treasures. And Heather hadn’t spoken to her mother in two weeks. So far nothing about the move had been easy, except the house waiting for them there and her job. But she could understand how they were feeling. Even to her, leaving this house felt like losing Tim all over again. It had been so interwoven with him, and he had loved their place so much. The people who had rented it were moving in on the first of July, and it was strange and sad to think of strangers living in their home. She hoped they’d be happy there. She and her children had been, until Tim’s death.

The only thing that cheered her as she looked at their faces was knowing how much they would love the new house. She had tried to tell them about it, but they didn’t want to hear. They would just have to see it now to understand. It was much nicer than the one in Squaw. And everything was beautiful and clean and fresh. A whole new world.

They were silent on the ride to the airport, and when they got there, Heather bought magazines, and she was texting frantically all the way to the plane. Right up to the day before they left, she had threatened not to come. And Jessie had been seriously afraid she would refuse to, but she didn’t. In the end, she packed her suitcases, although she had cried for the last week, with each goodbye.

Adam was listening to his iPod, and Jimmy was holding his mother’s hand. And they were all going to watch movies on the plane. All Jessie wanted to do was sleep—it had been an exhausting few weeks, and emotionally draining.

Jessie had sold her practice to Ben and already filed for her Colorado medical license. After she got it, she would talk to some neurosurgeons in Denver about joining their practice part time. But for now she wanted to concentrate on The Lily Pad. She had a huge amount of work to do before their “soft” opening in August. They were going to open the largest house first, and wait six months to open the other, as they continued to hire staff and add programs. They were planning to roll out their full range of services over the next six to nine months. Bill was in his office there now every day, and she would be too. And Joe and Carole had had offices there since March. Phil Lewis was starting as the head of their physical therapy department on the first of July. And the full medical staff had been hired. It was all coming together now at full speed. What Jessie needed to do now was settle her kids. And she had hired a housekeeper to be there full time to drive them around, and cook dinner for all of them. On the salary Bill was paying her, she could afford to do that. And all she had to pay at the house were utilities. And Ben had paid her fairly for her half of the practice. Her finances were finally in good shape, for the first time in a year and a half.

The flight to Denver was uneventful, other than the dark looks Heather gave her. Bill had sent a van and driver for them when they arrived. While pretending not to, the kids looked around with interest as they drove into town. Chris had promised to come to dinner that night. He had just started a summer job in a law office. Bill had helped him get the job. He was mostly filing and pouring coffee, but it was good experience for him, and he was thinking about law school. His first year at DU had gone well.

“When are we going to get there, Mom?” Jimmy asked, clutching his stuffed dog, and looking at Jessie.

“Soon.” They were all tired from the trip. And then Jessie saw the house, and the van pulled into the driveway. All three children seemed surprised.

“Whose house is that?” Adam asked with suspicion. “Bill’s?” It looked fancy to him.

“No, ours,” Jessie said as she got out, and helped Jimmy down from the van.

They walked up to the front door, and Heather brought up the rear. Jessie unlocked it, and they all stopped in the front hall, and noticed the large living room with the fireplace. And then they peeked into the dining room and the kitchen. It was all as pretty as Jessie remembered, and they were impressed.

“Wow, this is nice,” Jimmy said, and Adam looked like he agreed. Heather didn’t say a word and pretended not to notice.

“Your bedrooms are upstairs. You can pick the ones you want. There are three on my floor, and one on the top floor.” She thought the one on top would be best for Chris, it was big and airy and had more privacy, but if Heather insisted on it, she would give it to her, to make peace. Chris was planning to move in when their furniture came, since he had to move out of his dorm room that week. Their timing had been perfect, and carefully orchestrated by Bill and Jessie, to fit their needs. Their kids had just finished school, and Lily was graduating in a week, so Jessie would be able to be there.

She wandered around her bedroom floor then, glancing into the other bedrooms, and saw Heather lying on one of the new beds with a look of ecstasy. She had gotten them all king-size beds, which they hadn’t had before. The boys had had bunk beds in their old rooms, and Heather had had twins, which had been fine when they were small. The minute Heather glimpsed her mother through the open doorway, she got up with a scowl and disappeared into her bathroom. But the instant of happiness Jessie had seen seemed hopeful.