Winning Back Ryan (22 page)

             
“I don’t know maybe…” Staring into his bright green eyes I lost my train of thought. I swallowed hard. “A green dress.”

He considered my comment for a moment.

              “What about that bright, yellow dress you have in my closet? That’s sexy and definitely right for the occasion.”

             
“What are you my stylist now?” I snapped. I felt it then. The needle lanced through my body and I screamed out loud as the pain set in. It was surely going to drain me dry. I would die right there in that room. I turned to scream at the woman.

             
“Annie!” Brian shouted, his hand moving to my cheek, forcing me to look at him. “Keep your eyes on me.”

I gave him my best scowl in response, and my grip tightened around his hand.

              His eyes changed, full of apprehension as he asked, “What are you going to do about Ryan?”

             
“What can I do? I can’t throw him out the window. That would be really nice if I could, though,” I replied as my mind filled with images:  tossing Ryan out the window like a dirty bucket of water, hearing him scream on his way down.

             
“Annie, I’m concerned,” he said somberly. No smiles, no games. I could see it in his eyes that he meant what he said. I kept staring at him, waiting for him to continue. “I’m worried about what he’s going to do. I don’t want him ruining your life.”

             
“He’s an ass, but he’s not that bad,” I said. I had no idea why, but lately it felt like I was constantly coming to Ryan’s defense which was an
extremely
unpleasant thought.

             
“Annie, please…just think before you act,” he said to me. “I don’t want to see anything happen to you.” As I stared into his pleading eyes all I could do was nod.

I hissed in pain as the needle was removed from my arm.

              “Alright, all done,” the nurse exclaimed triumphantly. She slapped a piece of cotton and tape on my arm. I turned from Brian, looking at the woman.

             
“Are you two lovers?” she asked, glancing back and forth between us.

             
Brian’s face remained emotionless as I answered, “No, best friends for five years.” I always liked to add in the fact that we’ve been close for that long. I felt such a sense of accomplishment when I said it, like I had somehow earned, through rigorous training and hard work, the title ‘Brian’s best friend.’

             
“Sorry, you guys seem very close.”  I forced myself not to roll my eyes at the woman. She likely had another needle nearby her. “Well, please wait outside and we’ll be out with the results.” The nurse hadn’t even finished the statement and my hand was already on the door.

             
Brian and I sat in the waiting room, while I played him videos of new bands that I found recently. Whenever I heard something that I thought he would like, I played it for him.  As he began listening to my new favorite song, I Found You by the Alabama Shakes, he stood up, took my hand, and pulled me up.

             
“What are you doing?” I asked. We were in the middle of the waiting room.

             
“You gotta dance with me,” he said. I shook my head. He unplugged my headphones, so that now the music played throughout the room. “Come on. You can’t give me a good song to listen to and refuse to dance with me.”

             
“Fine,” I huffed, taking his hand. With hands clasped, he placed his other hand on my lower back as he moved me around the floor. Halfway through, I couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation, even more so because I was enjoying myself. As Brian spun me, I caught the nurse staring at us shocked. I was sure she had never seen dancing at a VD clinic before the tests results were given out.

             
“Miss Watson?” she asked, and I nodded in acknowledgement. “Here you go.”

             
“Thanks.” I took my results.

             
“Mr. Aschcroft?”

             
Brian stepped forward taking the paper, “Thank-you.”

Both of us glanced down.

              “So, how are you?” I asked Brian.

             
“Good, you?”

             
“I’ll live another day to set Ryan’s bed on fire.”  I handed the paper out for him to see, and we exchanged as we walked out.

We grabbed dinner on the way back, eating in the car, before stopping in front of my apartment.

              “Are you going to be alright?” he asked.

             
“Just fine,” I said before patting his shoulder and hopping out of the car.

             
Walking up to building’s door, Chuck said, “Thanks for the clothes. They’re really nice.”

             
“I’m glad you enjoyed them. Is there a girl up there?” I asked, and he shook his head.

             
“Nope, but he’s extra pissy tonight,” he replied.

             
A vicious smile spread across my lips. “Good.”

**

              My plan already formed by the time I walked up to my door. I tousled my shirt and my hair, making myself look bedraggled. I then let my pocketbook slip down my arm, with the test results in hand. I had to work on my face, though. So, to look the right way, I thought about having to cover all of the bills by myself. That definitely gave me the right look of despondency that I needed. Walking in, Ryan charged towards me, and I could smell liquor on his breath.

             
“I can’t believe you!” he shouted, “Of all the things that I thought you were capable of doing.”

I worked on looking depressed.

              “I just went to the clinic,” I said in an emotionless tone. He froze in his tracks. “I hope you enjoyed sleeping with Kelly, and the blonde, and whoever else, you son of a bitch!”

             
I shook my test results at him. “Tell me, which one of us did you enjoy sleeping with the most?”

His eyes widened, and I knew I had him by the balls. I was not an actress, but I knew I needed to cry to really drive it home. So, I thought about everything he had done to me in the last week, and sure enough the waterworks started.

His eyes were as wide as saucers.

             
“Annie, I’ve always used protection with them, I would never-“

I shook the paper wildly at him.

              “Did you use protection when you went down on them? I don’t think so.”

             
“And how do you know you didn’t give something to me?” he shouted.

The tears came very easily now.

              “Ryan, you were my first. You know damn well that I didn’t sleep with Brian. We were just making out.”

             
Taken aback, he frowned. “Why didn’t you ever tell me? I would have made it more special. Annie, we were both drunk, and I was rough with you. You said you had been with other men.”

             
“I know. I lied to impress you,” I said with my arms folded.

             
“Shit. So what is it? Is it treatable?” he asked, running a hand through his hair.

             
“Go find out yourself,” I snapped at him before storming into the bathroom.

             
“Annie, just tell me what it is. Or if it’s treatable,” he shouted from the door.

             
“Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed and unfortunately the tears falling then were very genuine. I couldn’t believe that his and my relationship had deteriorated so rapidly. Just a week ago, we were lovers. Now he screamed at me through a door and we were not even touching. That was what hurt the most- not touching him. Ryan had always been better at telling me how he felt with his body than with words. If he pressed his lips slowly to my forehead, letting them linger, then I knew he had a bad day and needed to be comforted. If he kissed my forehead quickly something else was on his mind and he was simply placating me.  If he kissed my forehead, then quickly moved to my lips I knew that getting me undressed quickly was what was on his mind.

I slid down the tiled wall, head in my hands, crying hysterically. I couldn’t even stop the tears now if I wanted to.

              “Please let me in, Annie,” he pleaded.

             
“Screw you!” I screamed.  I was apparently no longer a twenty- three year old woman who attempted to carry herself with dignity and class. I was a hormonal thirteen year old just reacting without any thought to the consequence. It was a mess and I saw no way to fix it.

             
“Please let me in,” he asked again.

             
“I will
never
let you in again!” I screamed at him in between the sobs.

             
“If you won’t let me in, then I’ll stay out here until you come out. You can’t stay in there forever!” he shouted.

             
“You…commit to something?” I snorted. “Impossible.”

             
“I have no issues committing to you, and I still don’t.”

             
I laughed maniacally. “Surely, you’re joking. I did catch you sleeping with two women.”

             
“I did it to get your attention, to hurt you. I was tired of feeling alone in this relationship.” He sighed longingly, and I heard a thudding sound as he hit against the door and slid down.

             
“How were you alone?” I demanded.

             
“I have always come in second after Brian,” he snapped.

Hearing this, I yanked the bathroom door open. He nearly fell over.

              “What are you talking about?”

His eyes were fixed on me, and I could still smell the alcohol as he stood up slowly. He was my drunk, sexy, shirtless, cheating, ex-boyfriend- such a lethal combination. I fought to keep myself from sweeping his hair out of his eyes.

              “If I made you choose, Annie, him or me? Who would you choose?”

             
I snorted, my arms crossed defensively. “He didn’t cheat on me.”

             
“If I gave you the ultimatum a year ago, who would you have chosen?” he asked folding his arms, mirroring my stance.

             
“That’s not fair! Why should I have to choose? He’s my best friend; you were my boyfriend!”

             
“No, he’s not,” his eyes glared at me furiously. “You are in love with him, and I never made you choose because I was pretty sure I’d lose you.”

             
“What are you talking about?” I snapped.

             
“Tell me. How many times after we made love, did you jump out of bed and call him? I know it was him that you were talking to. You have a laugh you use only when you’re talking to him.” Ryan looked completely heartbroken. “You may not have physically cheated on me, but you’ve been cheating on me this whole relationship,” he stated.

             
“How dare you! How can you even compare!” I started. He held up a finger, and motioned for me to follow him.

I didn’t know why, but I followed, and walked into the bedroom with him. He pulled out the bottom dresser drawer. Bending down, he took something out from off the floor. Standing back up, he put it down on the bed, opening it.  It was a blue ring box with a princess cut diamond ring inside.
              “Do you remember that ring?” he asked.

             
Looking closer, I nodded. “It’s the ring that I saw in the jewelry store window. That was like six months ago, though.”

             
He nodded. “I’ve been holding on to it for a while.”

             
“Why?”

             
“The night I was going to give this to you, you called me up telling me you were going to Brian’s because he needed your help with some work project.” He shook his head and I could see the rage in his eyes. “I’ve been holding on to it since. You’ve been more distant since then. So, then I started with Kelly. You didn’t find out about that, so eventually in my desperation I turned to this,” he said, holding his hands out. I understood that he meant trashing our place. He sighed and looked exhausted. I fought the feeling to comfort him. “I still mean this,” he said looking down at the ring.  “I know that I’ve hurt you and that you feel betrayed, but I’ve felt like that in this relationship for a long time. If you want this and me, I’ll do whatever I have to do to make it right. You’re going to need to let go of Brian, though. You’re not friends, Annie. That guy is in love with you, and he wants you. He told me this to my face a year ago, that he’s been around
longer
than me, and that he’d be
around
after me, and that he couldn’t wait for me to mess up, so he could move in.”
Oh, God.
“So, I was heartbroken when you were walking around in lingerie with him. You looked so sexy, though, and to think it was for him was too much. I did a very childish thing and I wrote crap about you on Facebook. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of it. I should have just given you the ultimatum.”