Winning Streak (19 page)

“She passed on the bullet points, but this was my idea. Thought it was time for a root beer float.”

Her eyes watered, and she blinked fast to keep from ruining her makeup. Again. When they were kids, any time something went wrong, from scraped knees to broken hearts, they'd have root beer floats. Kind of a Reese family cure-all. They hadn't done it since before he was drafted. She touched the back of her hand to her nose as extra precaution against the tears. “Wait a minute. You're not playing tonight. Why are you wearing a suit to take me for a root beer float?”

“Michael Mina's at the Bellagio. Best floats in Vegas.”

That chipped a crack in her professional veneer that spread surprisingly fast, pushing her out of her chair and into Reese's waiting hug. He kissed the top of her head and patted her back. “I'm so sorry, Sare.”

That was it. No
I told you so
or
This is what I was worried about.
No judgment at all. He'd dressed up on a random Tuesday just to take her out to a fancy lunch because he knew she needed it. Her brother was growing too. She still fought to hold in the ugly cry, but a few renegade tears escaped anyway.

Reese leaned back, pulled out his pocket square, and dabbed them dry. “Come on. We can talk there or in the car, whatever you want.”

“Don't tell Allie, but you're still my favorite.”

“There was ever a doubt?”

“Well, she is pretty awesome. It's been a close race.”

“Can't argue with that.” He slung an arm around her shoulders and led them out. It had been a while since she'd
looked
at the city. On her drives to and from the arena, she passed a lot of the same sights—all the big, shiny buildings and over-the-top colorful signs—but never saw them, always thinking about what she needed to do that day or the next. It really was beautiful, even during the day.

When they pulled up to the Bellagio, Reese handed off the keys to a valet and offered her his arm. She rolled her eyes at him but took it anyway. Michael Mina's wasn't very busy at noon midweek. It was too expensive for most business people who lived in Vegas and too formal for tourists, who spent their days in bikinis and flip-flops. Good. She didn't feel like being in a big crowd.

They sat at a small table by the window with a white, linen tablecloth and polished silver. Hard to believe this place had something as simple and plebeian as root beer floats. She scanned the menu for something to eat even though she hadn't been hungry since Sunday. When the waiter stopped by, she poked her head up. “I'll have the artichoke salad.”

“I'll take the Chilean sea bass. And we'll both have root beer floats with the chocolate chip cookies.”

The waiter had his mouth open, but they hadn't let him get a word in, and if he was intending to ask them which wine they preferred, he hid his surprise well at the float request. He simply jotted it down and nodded. “Very good. I'll bring some water and bread as well.”

When he left, Reese was careful to keep his gaze directed out the window at the fountain bubbling in the courtyard, but his silence was as loud as a hundred questions.

Saralynn rearranged her silverware. “So I guess you want to know the details.”

“If you want to tell me. You don't have to.”

She scoffed. “Since when? What happened to the overprotective brother who warned a whole arena of men away from me?”

“That guy's still there. I just have a better idea of how to keep a grip on him now that I have a highly evolved and enlightened wife who helped me see the error of my ways.”

“She improved your vocabulary, too.”

He made a bucktoothed beaver face to show how funny he thought that was, but it backfired because it made her laugh.

“Sorry. Well, you know what happened with him Friday night.”

He nodded. Everyone knew.

“Did you know Jacey's pregnant?”

“Carter told me, but I'm supposed to keep it on the down low until they're ready to announce. I don't think the world is ready for a mini-Phlynn.”

Saralynn scrunched her nose at him. “Beside the point. Anyway, Jacey told Madden she wasn't sure she wanted him in the baby's life. I don't know when, but I get the feeling he's been carrying this a while. It would explain some things. But, as you probably heard from Allie, Friday afternoon Madden asked me to move in. I said I wasn't ready, and he said he thought I'd never be ready. I'll admit, my own issues were at work, but he handled it so badly. And yeah, I've paid my dues to the bad decisions club, but I know better now. He seemed to be spiraling. So I went over Sunday and broke things off. Allie says I create my own hurdles.”

“Getting in your own way is a Reese family trait. My wife can vouch for that.”

“Am I heartless? Did I do the wrong thing?” What if she wasn't holding Madden at arm's length because he was the wrong guy? What if she was doing it because he could be the right one? The waiter dropped off the bread and their ice waters. She took a cold, fortifying sip.

“You're not heartless. You did a good job pretending for the first twenty-one years of your life, but I always knew there was a side you didn't let people see. Now you let it out, and I am so proud of you, Sare. Only you know if you did the wrong thing. But I notice you didn't ask me if you did the right thing.”

He
had
been hanging around Allie a lot. He was starting to speak in her wise riddles that sounded like they contained an answer but refused to divulge it. “You think if I was sure I did the right thing, I wouldn't ask?”

“I think you're worried you made a mistake. I know I'm still catching up on it all, but from what I've seen, he means an awful lot to you. That urge to push him away is probably just fear of letting him in. And you mean a lot to him. He was clear about that when he came to talk to me.”

“I know.” Of all the things she doubted, Madden's feelings weren't one of them. That only fed her confusion. “And I do care about him. More than any guy I've ever dated. I just don't want to make any more mistakes. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of giving in and letting myself … ”
Love him.
The last two words didn't make it out but echoed in her head. Did she love him? Did she know what love was?

“You can't control or predict a relationship. That only worked in the past because you weren't invested. I know you're scared, but you already took the jump.”

It was still terrifying. “You think I should give him another chance.”

“I'm not saying that. I like Madden, and I think at his core, he's a good guy. But I don't know all his demons. There might be only two people in the world who do, and you're one of them. I'm saying don't write him off completely.”

The waiter returned with their floats on a silver platter along with crispy, fresh chocolate chip cookies. “Enjoy. Your food should be right up.” He bowed and turned on his heel.

“Are those dark and white chocolate straws?”

Reese smirked and took a long sip from his then sighed. “Didn't I say best floats in Vegas?”

She dug into the foaming ice cream on top with her spoon and closed her eyes in bliss as the cold, creamy vanilla hit her tongue. She might not know what to do about Madden, but the brother-sister time gave her the courage and determination to figure it out.

Wednesday, April 2nd

It'd been a rough couple of days, and all that soul-searching hadn't led to any answers. After Saralynn walked out on Sunday, Jacey had called and left a message. He was suspended for the week while she figured out what to do. She didn't say it outright, but his job was on thin ice. And his place in her life. Everything he cared about was crumbling away, and he had to get out of the house. Be around people even if he wasn't with anyone.

He'd taken a taxi downtown with no real destination in mind, and he walked the Strip as the city came to life. One by one, the neon signs turned on, and they could usually foster some kind of pleasant feeling, but now they just reminded him of surprising Saralynn at the Boneyard. He moved forward in a stream of people, but it felt lonelier than being in the giant house by himself. All around him, couples held hands and families rushed to make a show time.

The next thing he knew, he was halfway in the door at Harrah's. He stopped and stared ahead at the blinking, flashing slot machines, heard dealers call at nearby tables. It almost felt like an invisible hand pushed on his back, trying to drive him inside to an easy escape, but that was an illusion. Losing himself for a few hours wasn't worth losing everything at the end of the night, even though he didn't have much left. He excused his way back out and checked his watch. Seven fifteen. Just enough time.

Another short cab ride took him to St. Thomas Catholic Church. Chairs were set up in a circle in the Sunday school room, and a few were still open. He took one and nodded to the group leader. He hadn't been to a meeting in a while, hadn't needed to. The faces had almost entirely changed, but that was common, especially in Vegas. No shortage of gambling addicts here. It took some of the pressure off. A roomful of people who didn't know how much of a screw-up he could be sounded like just what he needed. No one looked at him in recognition, and the coil of anxiety in his stomach loosened a fraction.

“Okay, I'd like to call the meeting to order, if everyone could take a seat.” The group leader leaned back in his chair and set an ankle on his knee. From Madden's experience, leaders always tried to look casual and relaxed and kept their posture open. It made people more comfortable, as if they were talking to a friend. Even though he understood how the psychology worked, the tactic was still effective. “Do we have anyone who'd like to go first?”

No one else raised their hand right away, so Madden did and got a nod as a go-ahead. “My name is Madden and I'm a compulsive gambler.”

“Hi, Madden,” echoed around the room.

“I've been gambling since my teens, and I've been through the program a few times, but I haven't gambled in two years.” He waited for the quiet applause to fade before continuing. “Even though I haven't gambled recently, I'm starting to see how much my past gambling has affected my relationships and still does. My sister heard a rumor that I'd slipped up. She knows the truth now, but just that rumor made her question whether or not she wants me in my niece or nephew's life. She recently became pregnant.”

Soft murmurs of sympathy surrounded him, and for the first time in almost a week, he didn't feel completely alone. These people understood better than anyone, and that connection, even if they were strangers, built him up. “I had too much to drink, and I said some things that hurt my best friend, and now he's not talking to me. My girlfriend broke up with me. And tonight I almost went in Harrah's. I could see the casino floor, and I
wanted
to gamble. Or I thought I did. But even then I knew, after years of hard experience, that it would hurt me in the end. So I came here.”

More applause. The leader, Chuck, reached over and patted him on the shoulder. “I'm proud of you, Madden. We all know how hard that is. It took a lot of restraint and impressive insight. It's not easy to be strong in those moments.”

“Thanks. I just wish I had been stronger last week. I went out for one drink, and it turned into five.”

“It's common for gambling addicts to have other weaknesses, and alcohol addiction has a similar basis. We want to escape our problems and seek things that will allow us to do that. It's only when we realize we're compounding our problems that we can begin to better ourselves. It sounds to me like you've reached that place.”

“I reached it two years ago, but I see now it takes effort to stay there. And I'm dedicated to that. I just wish I knew how to fix the damage I've done.”

Chuck shrugged. “It's easy to forget the people we love don't owe us anything once we've broken their trust. We can only hope to earn it back through perseverance and listening to what they need from us.”

Listening to what they needed
. He'd been so caught up in wanting to explain his side, in defending or redeeming himself, that he hadn't absorbed what they were saying. Jacey was going through one of the biggest changes of her life, and she didn't do change well. Not without graphs, charts, and pro and con lists. Cole was everybody's secret-keeper but didn't trust his own secrets to many people. As young as he was, he didn't like to show weakness on or off the ice. Of course he felt betrayed. And Saralynn … she'd told him at the beginning how hard she was trying to get herself together and that the road wouldn't be smooth. They all deserved more from him. Whatever it took, they'd get it.

Friday, April 4th

Saralynn stared hard at her open office door. It'd been a whole week, and Madden hadn't come to work. The urge to call him was almost more than she could take, except she still didn't know what to do, and part of her felt like she'd already done enough. Inflicted enough damage. Caused enough pain. But he'd been through a lot, and she needed to know he was okay. There was one person who might know, and that was a generous
might
.

Her boss's door was open, but she still knocked to announce her presence. Jacey glanced up, stress etched in her expression.

Saralynn closed the door but stood by it. This wouldn't be a comfortable, sit-down discussion. “Hi. I know you're busy, and this is probably the last thing you want to talk about, but I noticed Madden hasn't been at work all week. I'm not sure how much you heard—”

“Carter caught me up.”

“Right.” Easy to forget the six degrees or less of separation in this place. Carter and Reese had been best friends their whole lives. Naturally, Reese would tell him, and he'd tell his wife. “Well, I just wanted to see if you knew how he was doing.”