“
Mom.
”
“Don’t complain. You love doing it, and Linda Kay will get such a kick out of helping.”
“They’re something special I do with her.”
And until I got caught, on Paul’s front steps.
Kyle glowered into his coffee. “Am I going to get paid, at least?”
She swatted him hard enough to make him yelp. “Kyle David Parks! Of course you won’t get paid. All the funds go to the
library
.” She aimed a wooden spoon at his nose. “And when you stop by to talk to Gabriel Higgins about what kind of sculptures, don’t you dare bring up money.”
Kyle held up his hands in self-defense. “I swear I won’t.”
Mollified, she added some cheese to the eggs she fixed for Kyle because she insisted people needed eggs for breakfast, whenever it happened. “It’s going to be something special. There will be charter buses from the Cities and Duluth, a Santa village and reindeer. They even have a theme this time. Winter Wonderland.”
That wasn’t a theme so much as a cute, generic title, but Kyle wasn’t going to argue. “Sounds great. I’ll stop by the library tomorrow, see if Linda Kay wants to go along.”
“If it snows the way it’s supposed to, that will work out nicely. She has designs on going to Eveleth to see Kenny, and she’ll be upset if the weather cancels her plans.”
“Okay.” Kyle pushed off the counter to get plates and glasses for the table, but his mother caught the edge of his T-shirt and held him in place.
“I also heard at the meeting there was another
sculpture
on Paul Jansen’s front porch this morning.”
Kyle grimaced, his black mood returning with a vengeance. “Yeah, well, it’ll be the last one.”
“I should hope so. He’s too old for you.”
“He’s thirty-seven, not seventy. Besides, our age difference is only three years more than the one between you and Dad.”
Jane pursed her lips and became focused on over-seasoning Kyle’s eggs. “I don’t understand why you can’t date someone your age, is all I’m saying.”
“Because the men my age are idiots. Also, there are five of them on my team in the whole county.” He pushed his toe into the loose section of a floor tile. “It doesn’t matter. He’s not interested. Nobody’s interested.”
She hesitated. “I bet there are more gay men your age in Duluth.” When Kyle gave her a hurt look, she kissed his cheek. “Don’t pout. I’m not telling you to move out. I’m trying to help you be
happy
.”
“I want to be happy
here
. If I move out, it will be to an apartment downtown.”
Linda Kay stuck her head around the corner where she’d been eavesdropping, her face a picture of betrayal. “You can’t move out!”
“I’m not moving out.” Kyle pulled out a stack of plates and passed them to her. “I’m setting the table, and you’re helping.”
She grumbled, but she helped all the same. When they sat down to eat, she leaned in close and whispered, “How did the snow penis go?”
He shook his head. “Busted. And he didn’t like it.”
Linda Kay flipped her wrist in a dramatic throwaway gesture. “Please. No taste.”
Grinning, Kyle leaned over and kissed her hair. “I love you, Linda Kay.”
“That’s because I’m awesome.” She stole a piece of his bacon and winked in her delightfully clumsy way. “We’ll give our snow dragon a
big
penis.”
“Mom would have a fit.”
She gave him a
please, don’t be stupid
look. “So we
hide it
, obviously.”
She held up her hand for a high-five. Kyle gave her one, then ate his eggs, his black mood getting buried under plans for an elaborate, ice-breathing dragon with a hidden dong.
Chapter Two
T
he morning after he discovered the snow-penis artist, Paul stumbled into the shop groggy and clutching a mug of convenience-store coffee. When Arthur made a snide remark about how rough he looked, Paul almost literally snarled at him.
“Whoa.” Arthur put down the chair clamp he was holding and turned to face Paul. “What’s going on with you?”
Paul had left the house with every intention of keeping quiet, but all it took was for Arthur to give him
that look
, the concerned,
let me take care of you
one, and Paul folded. “I caught the person making the sculptures. Gabriel was right. It was an admirer.”
“I was what now?” Gabriel emerged from the shop office holding a ceramic mug with a tea-bag tag draped over the edge. He had the studied casualness and rumpled appearance of someone who didn’t want anyone to know he’d been recently well-fucked over a desk.
Paul put his travel mug aside and sat on a stool, defeat crawling over his skin. “You were right. The person leaving snow cocks on my steps was trying to get my attention. He’s been sending me Grindr messages too. Last night I met him.”
“And? Who is it?”
Arthur slipped an arm around Gabriel’s waist as he asked this. Gabriel leaned into the embrace with the same unconscious attraction. The sight of them so settled together made Paul happy and ache all at once, especially in light of his current nightmare.
Paul grimaced as he ground out his confession. “It’s Kyle.”
Arthur frowned. “Kyle who?”
“Kyle Parks. Daryl’s youngest.”
Arthur’s eyes bugged practically out of his head. “
Kyle Parks?
Holy shit.”
Gabriel frowned. “I’m sorry, what am I missing here? Why are you two acting like this is the end of the world? Is he an ex or something?”
Arthur turned to Gabriel, horrified. “Of course he’s not Paul’s ex. He’s a
baby.
Christ, is he even out of high school?”
Gabriel swatted Arthur. “Stop being dramatic. Yes, he’s a little younger than you two, but so am I. So is Frankie.”
“Yes, but he’s what,
nineteen
?”
“I sincerely doubt it.” Gabriel pulled out his phone and punched at some apps. “Facebook says he’s twenty-five.”
“There’s no way Kyle Parks is that old,” Arthur insisted.
Paul had been about to point out the PrinceCharming1990 handle as evidence, then realized that
was
twenty-five years ago. Which made him feel older than ever. He rubbed at his neck. “Even if he is, he’s still pretty young.”
Gabriel arched an eyebrow. “I’m thirty-two. Frankie is thirty-one. What’s magic about the six years between us and Kyle? Especially since of the three of you, Paul is the youngest.”
This whole conversation was freaking Paul out. He threw up his hands. “I’m
not
thinking about Kyle Parks that way, no matter how old he is.”
Gabriel tipped his head to the side. “What’s so horrible about him?”
Paul fished for another excuse. “He’s not my type.”
Arthur kept glowering. “There’s seriously no way he’s twenty-five.”
“What’s your type?” Gabriel pressed.
The hell if Paul could figure that out. “When he was born, I was in high school.”
“When I was born, Arthur was in third grade. None of us are in school now.”
“He
looks
young. Too young for me.” Except every time Paul remembered the wicked smile on Kyle’s lips, he fogged over. That confidence. His brightness, so stunning and yummy and— “He…he…he’s too femmy.”
Even before Arthur winced, Paul realized it had been the wrong thing to say. Gabriel rose to his not-inconsiderable height and glared at Paul through his glasses. “
Too femmy.
Goodness. I didn’t realize you had a butch test, Paul.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” Paul slouched forward and rested his elbows on his knees so he could cradle his head in his hands. “I’m grabbing at excuses because the bottom line is thinking of Kyle Parks sexually freaks me out. And he’s sending me sex messages and mounting erections on my porch.”
“Then be an adult and tell him thank you but no thank you.” Gabriel scooped up his mug and went back to the office.
Rising from the stool, Paul downed a scalding swallow of coffee and shuffled over to the workbench.
Arthur clapped a hand on Paul’s shoulder. “For what it’s worth, I’m freaked out, and he’s not even hitting on me.”
“He really isn’t my type.” His cheeks colored as he stared at the worktop. “I mean, what, two bottoms?”
“You gotta go with your instinct. Just because you’re the last two gay men in Logan doesn’t mean you gotta be dance partners. There are other towns.” Arthur winked. “We’ll find you somebody. Don’t you worry.”
Don’t you worry.
Why that stuck in Paul’s craw so hard, he couldn’t say, but it did. Probably because they’d been saying it to him for a year. Probably because they acted like there was some secret barrel of gay men they could crack open. Paul knew better.
It wasn’t fair.
The others were paired up, and not a
one
of them had been looking when they met their Mister Right. In fact they’d all been disengaged from romance. If Paul thought for one minute not searching was the magic bullet, he’d do it. Frankly he hadn’t tried to date at all lately.
Except the Christmas magic hadn’t held for him, because he hadn’t found anyone. And he still wanted. He
always
wanted.
It was dark when he drove home, and it was snowing again. Big, fat flakes whose crystal shape he could identify on the windshield before the defroster made them melt away. He told himself he was driving through town instead of heading home because he wanted to stop at the store, but he didn’t stop. He didn’t pull in at the muni, either. He drove all the way to the north end of Logan, where the care center sat like a snug oasis amidst the trees.
He knew, intellectually, he couldn’t see Kyle because of the way the rooms were set up and the blinds pulled against the draft, but Paul sat there all the same. To put the more usual image of Kyle in his mind, not the one where Kyle looked wicked.
But Kyle wasn’t visible. He might not even be at work at all.
Paul drove home. He put his truck in the garage, but he hadn’t shut the door before Edna Michealson stuck her head out the back door of her side of the duplex.
“Paul?” She huddled into her housecoat as she wrinkled her nose at him. “Thank heavens. I thought you’d never come home. The walks are a mess. I nearly killed myself trying to get the mail.”
The walks weren’t that bad, though she was right, they needed doing. Technically he was only responsible for his side of the property, but whoever Edna’s son had hired to take care of her side was falling down pretty heavily on the job.
Paul grabbed the shovel and the ice pick he kept in the garage. “I’ll take care of it right away, Mrs. Michealson.”
She wrapped her housecoat tighter and lifted her chin, acknowledging he was doing his duty but reserving the right to tell him he was doing it badly. “You shouldn’t leave it until dark. You can’t see the ice as well.”
Normally Paul was able to let her barbs roll off his back, but tonight it was hard work not to take her personally. “I’ll check it again in the morning, if that makes you feel better. I’ll put some sand down too, and salt, if the air temperature warms up enough for it to work.”
She didn’t smile, only kept watching him work. When he came close to her landing, however, he saw the shame mixing with her indignation. “I’ll call Hans tomorrow and tell him he needs to find someone better to do my walk. I’m sorry it keeps falling to you.”
Funny, a little acknowledgment was all Paul had wanted, but now he felt sorry for her and nothing else. He leaned on the ice pick a bit, resting from his exertion. “Don’t worry about it. I can pinch-hit until you find someone better. I don’t mind helping, but my hours aren’t always the best.”
Edna averted her gaze. “Thank you. That’s very kind of you.”
“Not at all. Just being a good neighbor.” Paul saw her shiver and frowned. “I think you should head inside. Wouldn’t want you to come down with a cold. Don’t worry about this. I’ll take care of it.”
With another “Thank you”, she disappeared into the house. He shoveled her walk and his own. Once he escaped inside too, he pulled a frozen meal out of the freezer and punched the appropriate time into the microwave. He queued up the holiday romance he’d fallen asleep to the night before.
The movie, much like the microwave meal, wasn’t great. But they both did their part to carve away the ache in his gut. That, he told himself as he went to bed, was better than a poke in the eye.
There wasn’t a snow sculpture on his front steps the next morning. Which should have been a relief. Except mostly it made him wish he could put in another movie instead of going in to work.
As predicted, Linda Kay was upset she couldn’t go to Eveleth. Eventually she decided going to the library with Kyle was an acceptable substitute, but not until he tossed in lunch too.
“I wanted to see my boyfriend,” she complained as Kyle drove them at a snail’s pace through the blowing snow.
Kyle kept his focus on the road. The plow had been through, and he didn’t have far to go, but he wasn’t taking any chances on putting his car in the ditch, especially with Linda Kay along. “Hey, at least you have one.”
She sighed heavily. “Are you giving up on Mister No-Fun?”
“He looked pretty unhappy to see it was
me
flirting with him, so yeah. I’m out.”
“He’s an idiot. You’re the best guy he could find in the whole state. You’re funny, smart and handsome, and you’re nice. What’s he so picky for?”
Kyle bit back a retort that she should ask Paul. Linda Kay would take him literally and march over to the repair shop to do it the second she got out of the car. “Hard to say.” He ruffled his hair with his hand. “Maybe I shouldn’t have dyed my hair.”
“If he doesn’t like you because of your hair, he’s a bigger jerk.”
Ironically, Kyle had chosen ginger because Paul’s most famous ex was a legitimate redhead. Though maybe that reminder only made things worse.
The library was busy, which at first surprised Kyle, but what else was there to do in a snowstorm in a small town? Most people were checking out movies, but plenty of families with children were in the play area, drifting there from what looked like a story time finishing up. Kyle loitered amidst Gabriel Higgins’s throng of adoring fans, waiting for the crush to subside, but when the librarian saw Kyle, he smiled, waved and extricated himself.
“Thanks for stopping by. Let’s go to my office.”
The din of the main library area dulled as the door closed them into the small space. Kyle sat in the chair with its back to the door as Gabriel indicated. “Mom said you wanted some help with snow sculptures for the fundraiser?”
Gabriel waved this idea away as he sat. “Oh, if it happens to snow and you feel you have the time, yes, certainly. As I said to Corrina over and over, the library doesn’t
need
a fundraiser, but I agree the event gives a shine to the town and possibly a boost to the economy. I’d love to have your help with design, if you’re willing to give it. Arthur and Paul can build anything our library board and city council dream up, but they won’t be much for making it pretty. I heard you were something of an artist in high school, so I was hoping you’d be willing to reprise that role.” His lips quirked. “And if we
do
get snow, we already know you have talent in the snow-sculpture department. Though perhaps we’ll keep them G-rated in deference to the younger attendees.”
Kyle grimaced. “He told you.”
“He did.” Gabriel leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs. “But why are you looking like that? Surely you’re not giving up.”
Gabriel was on his side? “Easy for you to say. You didn’t see his face when he caught me.”
“Oh, he’s not horrified of
you
. But he—and Arthur, oddly enough—is obsessed with this idea that you’re too young. Which amuses me because I’m only a little older than you. You should have seen Arthur’s face when I suggested if large age difference was such a big deal, perhaps you and I should date instead, since we were closer.”
“I’m so sick of everyone thinking I’m some infant. I can’t believe Paul thinks so too. I shouldn’t be surprised, but it doesn’t stop me from being disappointed.”
“So it’s not simply a lark? You have feelings for him?”
Kyle squirmed in his seat, but Gabriel showed no sign of letting him worm out of this inquisition. “What if I did? You have some
other
objection, if it’s not my age?”
“I have no objections whatsoever—unless this is simply a game to you. Paul is looking for a partner. A serious partner.” Gabriel sighed. “And though I know it’s not the truth, I always feel as if I took his fallback plan away from him. So let’s put it this way. If you were laying Grindr bait and planting penises on his front porch because you were bored and snaring Logan’s last bachelor seemed like a good time, then please consider this excitement concluded. If there’s something more to it than that…” his smile practically glinted, “…then I’d be happy to help you plot round two of your campaign.”
Kyle’s eyes went wide. “You’d help me? Seriously? Why?”
“Because I’ve seen you with your sister. I know you’ll say,
but she’s my twin, of course I’ll take care of her
, but it’s not every twenty-five-year-old man who would devote so much time and attention to a young woman with Down syndrome. In public you give off an air of flirtation, devilishness—which doesn’t help your age issue, I will say—but underneath you’re kindhearted and loyal. When you interact with Linda Kay, you’re another person entirely. An amazing one. Of course I want that for Paul. But first I want to know
why
. Partly because I’m curious, but also because your answer will help me figure out how to help you.”
Kyle stared at the edge of the librarian’s desk as he finished his confession. “Well, obviously I don’t
know
we’d get on. But I’ve always felt like we could. It started out…okay, this doesn’t help the age thing either, but when I was in middle school, I’d see him…and he was so perfect. He smiled at me one day, helped me when I’d fallen on my ass on some ice, and my type was set. I always wanted big blond guys with slightly curly hair. I chased Paul clones all the way through community college when I lived in Duluth. Then I came back and settled in, and…”