Wish I May (27 page)

Sleeping Beauty is in my bed.

The morning sun slants in my bedroom window and across Cally’s face, and I can’t bring myself to leave her, though I have to open the gallery in fifteen minutes. There’s something about being with this woman that washes away all the ugliness of the past two years. My mistake of an engagement to Maggie, my bigger mistake of an engagement to Krystal. I hate to think of myself as some easily analyzed psyche. A cliché case of a guy who lost his family when he was young and has spent his life since trying to build a new one.

But with Maggie and Krystal, I was always caught up in what
would
be. Securing that future—the family, the children—it was all this elusive high I couldn’t stop chasing.

It was never like that with Cally. Not when I was eighteen. And not now. Cally grounds me in the moment, roots me in the here and now. She makes simply
existing
so damn perfect I forget all my anxieties about tomorrow.

Her dark lashes flutter against her cheek and she moans softly, rolling to her side and curling into me. After I made love to her the second time last night, she fell asleep in my arms. I watched her for awhile, reminding myself she was real, and here, that it wasn’t a dream. I was almost back to sleep myself when she started talking in her sleep.
“I’m sorry.”
That was all I could make out her long stream of murmurs.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

She was dreaming, but I felt like the words were for me, and it shook me to think she’s carrying around so much guilt. But sorry for what? For standing me up that weekend? For dropping me with a text message and just as quickly making herself unreachable? For falling into another guy’s arms before a month was out? Or maybe she’s sorry for all that and more. Maybe she’s sorry for something I don’t even know about. Something I wouldn’t want to know.

Whatever it is, it doesn’t change how I feel. Here, in my bed, the morning sun warming our skin, I’m surer than ever that only Cally matters.

“Mmm,” she murmurs against my chest. “I need to get out of bed and get the girls to school.”

I stroke her hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Already taken care of.”

She jerks upright and looks at the clock. “Shit. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. They wanted to let you sleep.” I tug her hips until she slips down in bed next to me again. “And I wanted to keep you in bed as long as possible.”

She rolls over and curls into my chest. “I haven’t slept that well in ages.”

“Sounds like you should sleep in my bed more often.”

“So you’re going to use my insomnia as an excuse to have your way with me?”

“When it comes to getting your naked body next to me as often as possible, I have no shame.”

“You smell good.” She presses her lips against my chest and licks up my sternum. “Taste good too.”

I grab her hands and roll us so she’s under me, her hands over her head, trapped at the wrists by mine. Her eyes flash hot as they meet mine.

I nuzzle her neck, relishing the knowledge that I’m branding her with my unshaven face.

“When are you moving back to Vegas?” I have to ask. I need to remind myself that she isn’t going to be in my life forever. That she doesn’t want to be.

“I don’t know.” She lifts her eyes to mine, her insecurities written all over her face. “I’m not a fan of long-distance relationships.”

“Me either. But I think they can be done. If it’s really necessary.”

She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip. “Maybe it’s not necessary.”

“What do you mean by that?” I’m afraid to hope.

“I mean I was going back to Vegas because it was the default, the obvious next move, and—” She watches me. Hesitant. Careful. “—I’m saying I’m going to consider other options.”

Something floods my chest, threating to overwhelm me. I bury my face in her neck and squeeze her tight.

Kissing a path up her neck, I draw her earlobe between my teeth, sucking until she cries out. She’s like a dream in my arms. There’s no way I can go into the gallery today. I need the whole day with Cally in my bed.

“I have to make a phone call,” I whisper. Releasing one of her hands, I snatch my phone from the bedside table and lift my head enough to dial Maggie.

It rings four times before she picks up. “Hello?” She sounds like I woke her up. Too fucking bad.

“I need you to open the gallery for me today.”

Cally’s moved her free hand to my back, and she’s smiling at me as she traces her fingers down my spine.

“I have plans with Asher,” Maggie says.

Cally slips her hand between our bodies and skims the head of my dick with her fingertips. I growl. “Cancel them.” I hang up the phone and toss it across the room.

Cally giggles beneath me. “Bossy.”

I recapture her straying hand and replace it above her head. “I
am
the boss.”

“You’re good at it,” she murmurs.

“You like being told what to do?”

“Not particularly, but when you do it, it’s pretty hot.” Her lips quirk and she rubs her bare, slick heat against my cock. She doesn’t even need use of her hands to make me lose my fucking mind.

“Dammit, Cally. You’re going to kill me.”

She repeats the motion, tucking her hips. I’m all but inside her. “Don’t make me wait.”

“I need to get a condom.” I grit my teeth as I shift so my cock isn’t so irresistibly close to her wet heat. I’ve never wanted to be inside a woman without a condom as much as I want to be inside her. I’m already thinking about what it would be like to slide inside of her, skin to skin.

“I have a clean bill of health,” she whispers. “Before you, I hadn’t had sex for four years. And as for the rest, that’s what birth control pills are for.”

I still and study her. I’m not worried about pregnancy. Unfortunately, that’s not something I ever need to worry about. “Are you sure?”

She sinks her teeth into her lip and nods.

Just as I move to slide into her, she stops me with her hands on my shoulders.

“What is it?” I ask. The idea of being inside her without that barrier is so damn appealing, but I’ll stop if she’s changed her mind.

“I wanted you to be my first. I wish you had been.”

Aw, hell.
“That doesn’t matter anymore.”

She runs her fingertips down my cheek and nods. “What’s done is done. I know. But this? I’ve never had sex with a man without a condom before. I’ve been diligent. So, this is…a first.”

I cup her face in my hands and crush my mouth to hers, hoping she feels every painful and beautiful ounce of my love for her in this moment. “That’s amazing,” I whisper. Then I slowly sink into her, our eyes locked as our bodies join so intimately. Skin to skin.

“Stay. There’s nothing you need to run from. I’ve got you. No matter what.”
William’s words haven’t left my head since he whispered them in my ear yesterday morning. I’m considering. Maybe I could stay. Maybe this could be my life. My days working across the hall from this man who makes my heart race, my nights in his bed, his hands on my body. Could I really be that lucky? Will he want all that with me once he finds out the truth?

Sickness eats at my stomach at the thought. I should have told him the truth before sleeping with him. I owed him that. But I’m terrified that he won’t look at me the same once he knows, and I’m not ready for the end.

“Lots of water,” I tell my client. I force myself out of my reverie and offer her a bottle of water. “And no more workouts today. Let your muscles rest.”

The woman takes the bottle and slips me a twenty—that tip in addition to the seventy she paid for her massage makes this a great start to the day.

“I’ll be back,” she promises. “Don’t you leave town yet, or I’ll have to come to Vegas for my massages.”

“I’m considering staying in New Hope permanently,” I admit. “I just need to work out some details.”

“That would be amazing. You totally should. I’ll send a ton of business your way.”

“That would be wonderful.”

I see her out the back doors and decide to head down to the gallery for a little break between clients.

Maggie is chatting with a young woman in the back, and William isn’t around anywhere. I try to squelch my disappointment but I can’t help it. I’m becoming accustomed to his face, his laughter, his eyes on me as I walk through the room. But I make myself resist. I’ll see him tonight. Surely I can make it a few hours before setting eyes on him again.

“Cally?”

I turn to find the familiar voice. The smile falls from my face.

“I found you.” Hazel eyes, broad shoulders, enough silver peeking through his dark mop to make him look distinguished. Brandon McHugh is as handsome as the day he set out to make me his.

My stomach flips and my heart pounds so fast and hard I need to sit down. “Hello, Brandon.”

He runs his eyes over me, my ponytail, my mint green medical scrubs, my tennis shoes. “You’re working.” He’s smiling but the disapproval is in his eyes.

“I am.” Brandon doesn’t care to have his women work. If they work, how can they do his bidding? If they work, they may not rely on him. Not that I ever dared speak these thoughts to him. Four years out from under his control, and I’m only now daring to
think
them.

“God, I’ve missed you.”

“I—” I try to force the lie he wants to hear from my lips.
I missed you too.
That’s what he wants to hear—that I love him, that he broke my heart when he started screwing around with Quinn, that I miss him desperately and I need him. But love and heartbreak have nothing to do with the mess happening inside me. It’s fear.

I’m not ready for this. I wasn’t prepared for my worlds to collide—my world in Vegas creeping in to infect my New Hope world. I don’t want it here.

He frowns as he takes my hand. “Why are you shaking?”

To my horror, I realize I’m trembling.
How did you find me?
Not that I covered my tracks. I didn’t think I needed to. He’d only been back in Vegas a month or so before Mom died. I thought he’d get used to the idea that I’ve moved on. I thought
he
had already moved on. Had I really been so foolish? “What are you doing here?”