Wishful Thinking (26 page)

"He speaks," Dean said looking skeptical. Apparently, he did notice my silence the last few days.
 

“Our house might have been broken into again and I can’t reach my dad and …" I started rubbing at my face trying to keep calm, I sounded like a hysterical loon.
 
“You have to tell them about the Charger they don’t believe me, and my dad’s missing and they might have him. You have to tell them.”

"James you’re not making sense," Dean said his voice calm.
 

Whereas I sounded erratic and crazy, "I can’t reach my dad and someone tried to break into my house again. Oh my god."
 

My words sank in and weighed on my chest. Oh no, not now. I sank to the ground on my knees as another image came plowing through my head. An image that kept me up most nights—headlights, tires squealing, and blood and the little girl in a yellow dress with pigtails―Claudia as it were––swirled inside my head.
 

I don’t know exactly what happened next, but one-second I was standing staring at Dean and Claudia, then I blinked and when I opened my eyes I was staring at graying sky. Dean was hunched over me, “You all right?"

My eyes immediately sought Claudia’s who wouldn’t meet my gaze. After the way I’d unceremoniously kicked her out of my room and commenced to not speaking to her, I’m sure I hurt her feelings or something.
 
What was I to say? More than anything, I needed to know where my dad was and that he was okay. It took a few seconds to get my balance, my legs were shaky.
 

Dean offered a hand, tired of watching me struggle, "What’s going on?"

Across the street officer Hogue and Ben continued to talk while officer Fields talked to another cop.

“Fuck if I know," I said looking back to Dean. “I can’t get a hold of my dad."

“I saw him this morning and he looked fine," Claudia said, but in such a way I think she was lying.

“Can we talk?” I asked her.
 

“Whatever,” she said.
 

I took her arm and pulled her towards the furthest edge of the Kingsly's lawn. A good distance from Dean and the cops so no one could eavesdrop.
 

“Does-do you know why my dad was at your house the other night?”

“Why should I tell you anything?”

“Look, you’re mad I get it, but you can’t drop a bomb on someone and not expect them to freak.”

“You don’t get it do you?” she asked crossing her arms over her chest, “it’s not just about you, you aren’t the only one affected by this.”

“Affected? Then, you hide it well.”

“Bursting into tears in front of a guy, that’s hiding it well?”

“I’m not trying for a pissing contest, we’re both broken, fine. Do you remember this accident? Did your dad ever talk to you about it? Did they ever catch who was responsible?”

“Really now? I don’t know and I’m not in the mood to hash it out.” She turned to walk back over to Dean.
 

“But, you and I were together, why?”

She yelled over her shoulder, “I don’t know my dad isn’t talking.” She walked past Dean, “Thanks for the ride I’ll see you tomorrow."
 

Great neither of our father’s wanted to help us figure this mess out.
 

Dean rubbed his neck as if seeking answers from the cement beneath him. What the hell is going on with these two? I stared back and forth between them? Great, flirting at a time like this? There was no way this affected Claudia as bad as me.
 

Claudia turned to me, “I’m sure your dad’s fine.”
 

And she quickly scurried away. I turned to Dean, “Are you two together and you didn’t tell me?"

“Tell you what? There’s nothing to tell.”

“I get it.”

“Don’t say anything okay."

“I won’t if you tell me what’s going on with you two."

“Nothing … yet, we’re talking I guess, I think she likes me but I can’t tell," Dean said finally looking at me.
 

“She’s a bitch so it’s no surprise that’d you’d be the guy she had a thing for."

“What’s that mean?"
 

“The way you act so impervious, you know, like you don’t even notice a nice set of tits bouncing up and down in front of you. We all want what we think we can’t have."

“So I can’t have her or she can’t have me?” And there was the Dean I knew so well. “Come on I’m hungry," he said.

My stomach grumbled reminding me why I left my house in the first place. I looked back across the street. “I’m sure if they need you they’ll come over here and get you,” Dean said.

“Yeah, okay," I said and followed Dean inside his house.

Maureen paced back and forth in the living room a cordless phone pressed to her ear. “It’s an emergency," she said and waved to Dean and I, then pointed to the kitchen doorway. Dean seemed to understand even if I didn’t and gave his mom thumbs up.
 

Jealousy squeezed my chest as I followed Dean into the kitchen. It was awful to admit, but part of me resented Dean’s relationship with his mother, his very alive, very wonderful mother. Maureen headed upstairs her voice growing angrier with whomever she was on the phone with.
 

Two bowls of chili were laid out on the table and a plate of cornbread sat between them. The spicy scent of onion and tomato filled the kitchen making my mouth water. I didn’t even wait for Dean before plunking into a seat and digging in. Halfway through the chili I remembered the cornbread and grabbed a piece—still warm. No words were exchanged between bites and my thoughts focused on nothing but the food in my mouth slowly filling my belly.
 

With the last bite a large belch escaped and I rubbed my tummy.
 

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Maureen said coming back into the kitchen.
 

My cheeks reddened, “Sorry, excuse me,” I said.
 

Maureen eyed me, “Would you like some more?"

“No, thank-you.”

“And you baby-doll?"

“No thanks mom," Dean's answer came in an annoyed mumble.
 

“James I think it’s best you stay here until this whole business with your dad is sorted out," Maureen said with an even voice but nervous eyes.
 

I was almost afraid to ask, almost. “Did you get a hold of my dad?"

“No dear, but I think he’s still in court—a federal case so it’s at a different court house and nobody seems to know anything over there but Ben is heading there now to check it out."

 
Maureen left again leaving Dean and me alone. "You want to talk?" Dean scooped another spoon of chili into his mouth.
 

“Did Claudia tell you?"

“Tell me what," Dean said looking me in the eye now.
 

“Don’t play stupid, it doesn’t suit you." I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms over my chest.
 

Dean sighed and dropped his spoon in his bowl and took a long drink of water.

“Is that why you’ve been in the office all week, to avoid—” I leaned forward in my seat, “—me?"

“Not everything is about you, I’ve been in the office all week working on a problem.” Dean put his glass back down, “She talked to me about it after she talked to you. She wants to know the truth like you do. Believe me if I knew so would you, you know that man. Is that why you’ve been such an asshole, because you think we’re all in on it, that we’re scheming against you?"

I remained silent. Dean hit the nail on the head so to speak.
 
He continued, “Trust me, beyond Claudia and I, nobody knows—even my parents don’t, well didn’t know.” Dean leaned in closer to the table as though confiding a secret, “Claudia’s really freaked out by this you know.” Dean took a really deep breath and when he exhaled it he added, “You two should talk.”

No shit. “Can we talk about something else," I said pushing my empty bowl away.
 

“Like what?"

“How about you, for a start?"

Dean rolled his eyes and fell back against his chair. He started patting the left side of his hair. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“You’ve been acting all, you know, un-Dean like."

Dean took a deep breath, “I didn’t get in to MIT."

“What! No way, you got your acceptance letter weeks ago.”

Dean started rubbing his hands together, his eyes focused on the rubbing, “I-uh, lied."

“No way, you don’t lie, you don’t know how."

“I do know how I just prefer not to. But I didn’t get in to MIT, James," he leaned forward his head dropping into his hands, “all my plans, my future, everything worked around me going to MIT, but I didn’t get in. What the fuck am I going to do now?"

This was big, way big for Dean. His whole life he’d planned to go to MIT. I mean since the time we were running around with light sabers he talked about MIT.
 
“Have you told your parents?"

“I had no choice, my mom got the mail and stood over my shoulder as I opened it, but I haven’t told my dad."

“Damn, at least your mom knows and she’ll support you with your dad. Besides MIT isn’t known for sports so I don’t think your dad will be to sad about it.”
 
Not very comforting but I didn’t know what else to say, and I never claimed to be good at it. “Did I tell you my dad used to make out with Rita? Summer’s mom? They even went to prom together.”

“What?”

“Yep, told me he used to neck in the barn with her, oh and Emily claims Nate wants my permission to go out with her.”

“You’re kidding right?”

“I wish, but I’m not that creative.”

Dean leaned back in his chair, “They said I wasn’t well-rounded enough, plbbt, they don’t know what they’re talking about, well-rounded.” He exhaled and leaned back in his chair, “They’re right. I focused so much on academics I never bothered to feed any other part of me.”

“MIT is stupid. I know you won’t believe me, but it isn’t the end all be all you think it is, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise because honestly any school who doesn’t want to have the next Emperor as an alumni isn’t worth going to anyway.”

Dean laughed at that. “You know I’m not really the Emperor, right I mean Darth Vader destroyed him?”
 

 
He smiled and I rolled my eyes.
 

“Can I ask you something,” I said when Dean got up to rinse out his bowl and put it in the dishwasher.
 

“Sure, why not we’re on a roll or something.”

“Do you think it’s just a freaky coincidence me and Claudia were involved in the same accident or … do you think it’s more?”

Dean turned around both his hands gripped the counter behind him, “I don’t know.”

My phone started beeping and vibrating in my pocket and I pulled it out—a voicemail from my dad. “Hey son … much time—You … need to s—” several clicks, “—Dr Patterson,” and then his voicemail abruptly ended. I listened to the message over and over but couldn’t make out anything more. My eyes must have been real wide because as soon as I hung up the phone Dean said, “Was it your dad?"

I nodded and jumped up from the table, “I think he’s in real trouble.”
 

Outside, officer Hogue was climbing into the passenger side of a cruiser, the other police car had left. Ben was standing on the curb leaning against the driver side window half in talking to officer Fields. She smiled at me when I came up behind him.
 

Officer Hogue closed his door, Ben patted it, and the two officers drove off. Ben turned and started. He put his hand to his chest, "Geez, everything okay?"

 
Dean caught up to me. I didn’t even wait for an invitation, “Where are they going, I got a message from my dad, I think he’s in trouble."

Ben put a hand on my shoulder, “Your dad’s fine, I just talked to him he’s driving up to Portland from Cape Elizabeth and having spotty cell service along the way. He’ll be home tonight but late, he said if you want you can stay with us, but that you’re still very much grounded.”
 

That sounded like my dad. Relief washed over me. “Thanks,” I said.

He removed his hand, “Looks, like vandalism and nothing more."
 

“Guess I’ll get going then.”

“All right I’ll be over in a bit to make sure that window gets boarded up tight, okay."

“Okay, thanks," I said.

“James,” Ben hollered when I was across the street.
 

I stopped and turned around, “Yeah.”
 

“If you change your mind, we’re here, don’t forget that.”

I held up my hand and waved, “I’m fine.”

Dean and his dad headed back inside their house while I made inside mine. Knowing my dad was okay should have made me feel better, but it didn’t. There was an unease I couldn’t shake.