Wishing for Trouble (6 page)

When Lord Dastardly and his men smashed their way into the castle, the first thing they saw was the countess standing at the top of the stairs. ‘Yoo-hooh!' she called. ‘Were you wanting me?'

Then she turned and ran away down the corridor, having already removed her shoes and most of her petticoats so she could run a little more easily. Lord Dastardly and his men dropped their axes, drew their swords and chased after her, all the way up the stairs and to the great hall. When they got there, it was to find the countess sitting on her throne, rather pink and breathless.

‘At last!' Lord Dastardly cried. ‘Castle Lyonessa is mine!'

‘Not quite,' the countess said as her knight suddenly dropped the candelabra down on its long chain to just near where she was sitting. The countess clambered on quickly, and the knight and the other guards hauled her up to the musicians' gallery above while she waved in delight to the furious lord, who was practically frothing at the mouth in his rage. He swung around to go in pursuit, only to see the doors of the great hall slam shut, locking him and most of his men inside.

Meanwhile, Emmy had been hiding behind the door that led to the kitchen in another wing of the castle. She waited until most of the men had gone thundering up the stairs after the countess, making an incredible racket with their steel boots on the stone steps, then she popped out and waved at those in the rear.

‘Yoo-hooh!' she called. ‘Were you wanting me?'

At once the men at the back veered and chased after her, convinced they were about to capture the real countess.

Emmy had been standing with her scooter concealed beneath her long skirts. Now, with an impudent wave of her hand, she scooted away down the corridor at top speed. Weighed down with all their armour, the men could not catch her and she disappeared from sight around a corner. The knights rattled and banged along as fast as they could, ending up in a huge, dark, cavernous kitchen. Suddenly the door slammed shut behind them and was securely locked and bolted. Lord Dastardly's men could do nothing but try not to breathe in the foul smell of the rat stew still bubbling on the fire.

There were quite a few men left on the steps, those who had not been fast enough to get locked in with Lord Dastardly or slow enough to be lured away by Emmy. Nick got most of them to chase after him down a corridor, skating along on his heelies. Some of the archers tried to shoot him, but Ben drew one of his magic arrows and shot it as fast as he could. It burst into flame and hit the enemies' arrows mid-air, turning them all to ash.

‘Cool!' Ben said, staring at his bow.

Then he realised a couple of archers were chasing after him, so he jumped on his scooter and zoomed away, his bow and quiver banging on his back. The archers almost caught him but he did a spin and knocked their legs out from under them. Together the governess and priest dragged them into a spare room and locked them in. The other men were all knocked over by squires, tied up in sheets by laundry women, or blinded by the contents of chamber-pots flung at them by scullery maids. Lach and Tim together downed one by holding out their scooters at ankle height, tripping him over with a big bang so he was unable to get up again, while both boys sat on his back and bounced up and down until the knight came to take their prisoner away.

Even Jessie played her part, leaving her pink rabbit lying in the corridor for another one to fall over, while she dragged off one of the countess's shoes to chew on in a quiet corner.

It was not long until every single one of Lord Dastardly's men was locked up or tied up somewhere, and everyone was able to dance around and shriek with joy.

‘They'll not be bothering us again,' the knight exulted.

‘We showed them!' cried the priest.

‘We're saved!' the governess sang.

‘And it's all because of the five of you,' the countess said. ‘I cannot thank you enough.'

Ben took the burning-hot ring off his hand and gave it to her, very reluctantly. ‘We've used up all our wishes,' he said. ‘You can have it now.'

‘Don't forget you promised to send us home,' Emmy said anxiously.

‘I haven't forgotten,' the countess said. ‘You wasted all your wishes on my behalf, I can waste one on you. Firstly, though, I would like to express my gratitude. Will you all kneel?'

Looking at each other in surprise, the five children did as they were told. The countess took the knight's sword and went along the row of them, tapping them all on the shoulder and saying, ‘Arise, sir knight!' When she got to Emmy, she said, ‘Arise, lady knight!'

They were all very pleased at this, and bowed to each other, saying, ‘Greetings, Sir Benjamin! Sir Timothy! Lady Emily!'

Then the countess, the priest and the governess all climbed up to the hot-air balloon, which was still bobbing at the end of its ropes on the castle battlement. Ben showed them how lifting the lever that made the flame shoot higher sent the balloon up into the air, and then showed them the cord pull to bring the balloon down again.

He and Tim had gone hot-air ballooning one holiday, and the pilot had shown him how it was done.

‘Farewell, and thank you!' the countess cried over the roar of the flame.

‘It's been fun,' the children replied. Jessie barked and then went back to gnawing on the countess's shoe.

As the priest fussed about with the ropes, the countess leant over the edge of the basket and said, very carefully, the wish that the children had made her learn off by heart.

‘I wish that Ben, Tim, Nick, Emmy, Lach and Jessie would return to their own time safely, and without being late for dinner, or getting into any other kind of trouble, and that this will not be the last of their magical adventures.'

At once the world began to spin around them. The last thing the children heard as the balloon rose high into the air was the countess crying out, ‘Cool!'

The five children and Jessie got back just in time to hide Ben's magic bow and arrows and Emmy's dress in the playroom before Ben and Tim's mother called them for dinner. Emmy was still somehow, magically, wearing her bikini and sundress underneath, or else she would really have got into trouble.

They did not want their sausage sandwiches at all, being full of ham and pineapple pizza. Luckily Jessie was always happy to eat again, and they fed her the lot under the table.

‘Mar!' Ella said.

‘Yes, darling? Did you hear her say “Ma”? Isn't she clever? What do you want, darling?' Mum said.

‘Mar!' Ella said.

‘More? Do you want more? Of course you can have more,' Mum said, giving her another sausage.

Ella accepted it, but used it to point at Jessie. ‘Mar!'

‘Yes, darling? Oh, you want me to look at Jessie. Why, what has Jessie got?'

The five cousins looked at each other in sudden worry, in case anyone noticed that Jessie had eaten all of their sausage sandwiches. But Mum only bent and picked up the countess's shoe, which Jessie was resting her head on as she slept.

‘Look at this!' Mum said, holding up the shoe. ‘It's quite extraordinary, I've never seen a shoe like it!'

‘It looks very uncomfortable,' Emmy said, and none of them could help laughing.

‘The question is,' Mum said, ‘where's Jessie's pink rabbit?'

And she could not understand why that made them laugh even harder.