Wishing for Trouble (4 page)

It was amazing how much better everyone felt after ham and pineapple pizza. The countess alone ate four pieces, and her governess ate seven. Even the knight took off his helmet so he could eat too and was revealed as quite an ordinary-looking man with a hot, red face and hair that stuck up everywhere.

Nick had been so hungry that he had not noticed the ring now glowing like a hot poker and burning him. But as soon as he finished his second piece of pizza, he realised and slid the ring off his finger and into the pocket of his shorts, so he could eat his third piece undisturbed.

‘We have only six wishes left,' Ben said quietly to the others. ‘Mine and Lach's. Don't you think we should work out what we want to do with them, before we go wasting any more?'

‘We need to get back home!' Lach said.

‘We should save some of the wishes,' Emmy said. ‘Imagine, we could wish we were on a desert island, with mermaids …'

‘Or we could wish we were up in space, flying to the moon,' Tim said.

‘We could wish for more dragon gold,' Nick said. ‘I'd like to have seen the dragon!'

‘Can't we just wish the ring had unlimited wishes?' Ben said.

‘I don't think it'd work like that,' Emmy said.

The countess finished her last mouthful and leant back in her chair. ‘Most delicious,' she said. ‘Chamberlain, please inform the head cook that I want ham and pineapple pizza for dinner every night from now on.'

‘Yes, Lady Lyonessa,' the chamberlain said, bowing low. ‘Though he's already examined one closely and says he has no idea what strange ingredients have been used to make it. He has never tasted food like it.'

‘I guess they didn't have tomato and pineapple back in these days,' Ben whispered.

‘How can you not have tomato and pineapple?' Lach demanded. ‘Everyone has tomato and pineapple.'

‘Maybe they weren't discovered yet,' Ben whispered back.

‘I'm really glad I don't live back in these days,' Lach said.

‘I thank you for this most delicious meal,' the countess said. ‘Now I would like you to conjure a pox upon my enemies, so that they all die and suffer for their treachery.'

‘That doesn't seem very nice,' Emmy said. ‘Couldn't we do something else?'

‘Like what?' the countess demanded.

‘We could lure them into a trap,' Ben said. ‘Do you have dungeons?'

‘Of course we have dungeons,' the countess said proudly. ‘Very extensive ones.'

‘How about we trick them into the dungeons somehow?' Ben said. ‘Then we could find some way to send a message to your uncle, to come and arrest them.'

‘Bet mobile phones haven't been invented yet either,' Lach said, grinning.

‘It is too dangerous,' the knight said. ‘We cannot risk our countess. What if the plan goes wrong?'

‘We should just surrender now,' the governess said, and the priest nodded, looking very gloomy.

‘It won't go wrong,' Ben said. ‘We'll just wish that it all works.'

‘We could wish for a helicopter,' Lach said, ‘for the countess to escape in.'

The kids jumped up and down in excitement.

‘Except no-one knows how to fly one,' Nick said, and they drooped in disappointment.

‘A hang-glider?' Emmy suggested.

‘A parachute?' Ben said.

‘How about a balloon?' Tim said.

‘A balloon,' Ben shouted. ‘A hot-air balloon! They're easy to fly. Brilliant, Tim!'

‘I know,' Tim said.

All the time they had been talking, a deep boom! boom! boom! had been shaking the castle, rattling all the plates and spoons on the table.

‘They're ramming the gate,' the knight said wretchedly.

‘What shall we do, what shall we do?' The priest wrung his hands.

‘We're doomed!' the governess wept.

‘We'd best be quick,' Ben said. ‘Give me the ring, Nick.'

‘No! It's my turn!' Lach said.

‘It's my ring,' Ben said. ‘I mean, ours, mine and Tim's. We got it from the dragon.'

‘Yeah, but you had all the fun with the dragon before,' Lach said. ‘Let me have a go!'

‘Oh, all right, but don't go making any silly wishes,' Ben said. ‘We want to save some for later.'

‘OK,' Lach said, and took the ring eagerly, putting it onto his finger.

‘What shall we do first, wish for a hot-air balloon for the countess, or lure the enemy into a trap?' Ben said.

‘I want to see Lord Dastardly's face when he falls into my dungeon,' the countess said, clapping her hands with glee.

‘OK, dungeon first,' Ben said, and they all followed the knight as he clanked down the great hall.

Beyond was a long, wide corridor. Light streamed through the tall, narrow windows along one side, striping the smooth stone floor. Ben and Emmy looked at each other, grinned, then were off like rockets, racing each other on their scooters. Emmy's blue skirts billowed out behind her, thongs flip-flapping, and Jessie chased after them, dragging her rabbit by one ear.

Ben swerved in front of Emmy, almost knocking her over as they came to a screeching halt at the top of a grand staircase.

‘I won!' Ben cried.

‘I'd have won if it wasn't for the dress,' Emmy said.

‘I wish I had one of those,' the countess said enviously.

‘Yeah, it looks like fun,' Lach said. ‘I wish we'd brought ours,' he said to Tim.

At once both Lach and Tim were standing on their scooters. Since they weren't expecting them, they fell off immediately, knocking over the governess, who gave a little scream. ‘Sorry,' Lach said, clambering off her. Then both the boys went zooming down the long corridor as fast as they could, while the governess – who was rather fat – tried very hard to get back up again. The priest pulled her up, only to be dragged down on top of her, so that the knight – who found it rather hard to bend in the middle in his armour – had to pull both of them to their feet. Meanwhile, the countess waited, tapping her long, pointed toe.

Then the countess, the governess, the priest and the knight trudged along the corridor, all of them scowling, though for different reasons.

‘Another wish gone,' Nick said, and shook his head in worry.

Nick looked even more worried when they reached the top of the gatehouse tower and looked out over the countryside.

All they could see below was a seething mass of soldiers. Some were climbing up long ladders while the castle's men-at-arms tried to knock the ladders down again. Others were manning a wooden catapult that hurled huge boulders at the castle. There was also a tall siege tower that the enemy was trying to roll up to the base of the castle wall, except that the moat was too wide and deep, and filled with stinking green water.

‘Urgh, I wouldn't want to swim in that,' Lach said as he watched soldiers fall off the long ladders and splash into the moat.

In front of the gatehouse, Lord Dastardly's men had filled in the moat with rocks and laid down a rough bridge of wood so they could roll their battering ram up to the gate. Back and forth the ram swung, hitting the gate again and again. Boom! Boom! Boom!

The noise was horrendous. Part of the castle was on fire from the flaming balls the enemy kept lobbing at them, and a chain of people were passing buckets of water from the well in the courtyard all the way up to the top of the castle to try to put the fire out. It wasn't helping much. Then one of the men-at-arms got hit by an arrow and fell down, groaning and clutching his arm where blood was pouring out. The five children could not help being rather scared. It was far different actually being in a castle under siege than reading about it, or playing it.

‘It won't be long and they'll have broken in,' the knight said sorrowfully.

‘What shall we do?' the priest sighed. ‘What shall we do?'

‘We're doomed!' sniffled the governess.

‘So where are the dungeons?' Ben asked, trying to pretend he wasn't scared.

The dungeons were under the gatehouse, accessed through a big, iron-bound door that led into foul-smelling darkness. No-one wanted to go in there, though a rat went skittering away down the steps when they opened the door. One of the men-at-arms went bounding after it and came back a few minutes later, grinning, with the rat dangling from his hand.

‘Dinner,' he said happily.

‘Yuk. Urgh. Gross,' the children all said, and hurried back out into the sunny courtyard, away from the frightening pounding of the battering ram.

Lach had to shout when he made his wish, to be heard over the noise of the battle.

‘I wish that the floor of the gatehouse would disappear so the bad guys fall down into the dungeon below, on top of a big pile of mattresses so they don't get hurt.' (That had been Emmy's idea, of course.)

Lach had made his wish just in time. Just as he was saying the last words, the gate cracked open and the enemy began to pour through. At once Lach pulled the door to the courtyard closed, but no-one could resist peering through to see how well their trap worked.