Without Boundaries (10 page)
Read Without Boundaries Online
Authors: Cj Azevedo
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Contemporary Fiction
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
BAILEY
I wake the next morning disoriented and stiff. I feel like I have been sleeping for days. The sun is barely peeking through the cracks of the darkened drapes but my head is pounding and the little light that is showing is killing me. Talon suggested I stay with him in his bed last night and I happily agreed. I was not in the mood to lay alone in that huge bed feeling sorry for myself. Plus, the fact that he and I were going back to having boundaries today freaked me out and made me all the more unhappy. So the idea of getting to sleep in his bed, cuddled up to his broad, muscled chest all night made my aching heart subside just a little.
I get out of bed and stretch my arms over my head. Talon had given me one of his t-shirts to sleep in, so I am currently clad in that and my panties. I don’t know what time it is but I want to thank him for being there for me last night and possibly get one more kiss before I am banned from his beautiful lips. Kali and Hunter will be here soon so I don’t want to chance taking a shower and missing my opportunity to see Talon before they arrive.
I creep out of his room and glance down the hall to see if he is out on the balcony but the doors are shut tight. It doesn’t look like he is out there so I continue down the stairs in hopes that I would find him the kitchen.
He is standing over the cooktop with his back to me. He’s wearing jogging pants and a hoodie and is absolutely delectable. I quietly walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. I hear him set his spatula down and turn around in my arms.
His eyes are sparkling and he has a mischievous grin. “What are you wearing Bay?” He looks amused and maybe even a little uncomfortable, which confuses me.
“Oh, um I just wanted to run down real quick and thank you for last night. I know our situation changes today, so I was hoping to give you a proper kiss of thanks before Kali got here.” Talon is all out smiling now but he cradles my face and gives me a kiss that makes me go weak in the knees. I pull him closer for support and he deepens the kiss.
“Ahem!” Oh crap, we’re not alone. “Good morning Bailey.” My eyes are about to bug out of their sockets, my heart is beating out of my chest, and not just from his kiss anymore. Kali is standing somewhere to the right of me and I cannot get myself to look away from Talon who is trying very hard not to bust out laughing. He pulls me back in tighter to his body and leans down to whisper in my ear. “Kali is already here, sweetheart.” He kisses the side of my head then takes a step back.
I hit his chest good naturedly and frown at him. “Obviously.”
“Good morning Kali, I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you to be here so early.” Kali doesn’t say anything in return, instead she just laughs. I can feel that my face is the temperature of the sun. Talon grabs my hand and starts to pull me out of the kitchen as I tug on the hem of his shirt that I’m wearing to try and cover a little more of my bare legs.
“Hey! Looking good Bailey,” Hunter says from behind me. I might die of embarrassment right here, right now. Anybody else going to show their beautiful face this morning? Talon’s parents maybe? That would be awesome!
“Good morning Hunter,” I sigh. Talon and Kali laugh lightly and Talon continues to pull me out of the kitchen and walks me to my room.
****
Talon
“What time is it?” Bailey practically shrieks.
“Almost eleven. Why?”
“God, I’m so sorry Talon. I had no idea it was that late. I would have never gone down there like this if I had even the slightest idea that they would be here already. I’m so embarrassed.” Bailey sits down on the side of the bed and buries her face in her hands.
I walk up to her and gently wrap my hands around her wrists. There are still bruises there and I noticed last night that she has bruises higher up on her arms also. It kills me to see them. “Look at me, Bay.”
She shakes her head from side to side before she answers. “I can’t. I just need to get a shower and get on with this day I guess. Oh no, what am I going to say to your sister?”
“Bailey, please look at me.” She starts to drop her hands but I pull them into me and wrap them around my waist. Her face is in line with my stomach. I place my fingers under her chin and gently guide her face to look up at me.
She has makeup under her eyes, her hair is all disheveled, and her eyes are a little puffy from crying last night. I know I shouldn’t have suggested she stay with me in my room last night but I just couldn’t help myself. Not only am I extremely attracted to her physically, but I am so connected to her that I cannot handle her being upset in any way. I have no idea what I’m going to do when she leaves and goes back home to that bastard. I guess I’m just going to have to make it impossible for her to decide to leave me.
“Don’t worry about Kali, alright? It’s not a big deal, I promise you. You look absolutely beautiful in the morning by the way. And wearing my shirt? Mmmm, I almost decided to just carry you right back up here rather than letting you see them in the kitchen.”
“This is not funny! You shouldn’t be joking about it right now. I feel terrible!” She is full on pouting, but not in the ‘I’m not getting my way’ kind of way that immature bimbo type women do. No, this is the ‘I can’t believe this is happening and I’m mortified’ kind of way.
I give her an easy smile and cradle her face with both hands and lean down to kiss her. “Bailey, we are adults and we can choose to do whatever it is that we want to do. I do not need my sister’s permission and neither do you. I know the rules are supposed to change today, but since they are already in on our little secret may I suggest that we continue on without the boundaries for the remainder of the weekend?”
“I’m not sure that’s such a great idea Talon.” She diverts her eyes from mine as she says this. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want those words to be coming out but she says them anyway
. I can’t let this happen
.
I reluctantly drop my hands from her face and take a step back from her and shove my hands into my pockets. “Ok, if that’s what you want then we’ll play by your rules. Why don’t you jump in the shower then come on back down? I was just finishing up with some breakfast.”
Bailey’s shoulders droop and she lowers her voice. “Please don’t be upset Talon. I am so confused right now and I’m not sure where to go from here. I just think it would be best this way.”
“I understand; I’m not upset. Don’t take too long or the food will get cold.” I talk as I’m walking backwards to the door. I need to play this cool so she doesn’t get freaked out, just a little time and a little space and then the plan goes into action. And with that I turn around and walk out of her room.
I go down to my room to grab my phone. I’m sure I have a million missed calls by now with it being a weekday. Just as I am stepping in I hear Bailey’s phone chime with a text message. I decide to grab it for her so she can have it when she comes down for breakfast.
As I pick up her phone, the words on her screen catch my eye and I can’t help but read the two sentences that jump out and make my stomach turn.
I love you so much bailey. Please forgive me. ~Hollister
Now I just want to break her phone. I’m going to have to do something about all of this anger inside me, because at this point I kind of want to beat the hell out of something or someone. Her phone chimes again.
I’ll never forgive myself, and this will never happen again, you need to believe me. I love you. ~Hollister
I need to get rid of her phone already. If he sends another one the poor phone might be killed. I power it down and set it on the kitchen counter as I walk around to the cook top again.
Kali and Hunter are sitting in the dining room right off the kitchen drinking their coffee. I know they both have a lot to say about Bay coming down in just my t-shirt and her panties but they are behaving at the moment. So I finish preparing the breakfast and set it all out on the bar before letting them know they can fix their plates.
Hunter comes in first with a knowing smirk on his face and he claps me on the shoulder. I shake my head at him as if saying “Not right now man.” So he just smiles bigger and says, “Thanks for breakfast, looks good.”
Kali comes around the corner next and starts to say something before I cut her off. “It’s not as bad as it looked Kal, and she’s embarrassed so I would appreciate it if you could, just this one time, keep your mouth shut.”
“Umm, you were shoving your tongue down her throat and she was ‘thanking’ you for last night. If it’s not as bad as it looks, then what is it?” She’s trying to sound pissed for some reason, but she has always been a terrible liar and I can tell that she is enjoying herself immensely.
A deep sigh flies out of my mouth before I can respond. “Kali, I love you, but I don’t owe you anything. An explanation is not going to happen because it’s none of your business. I just ask that you don’t make this situation impossible for Bailey. You already know she is here with us because she’s going through some pretty tough times. She doesn’t need you to make them worse by making any comments about what you saw this morning. Understood?”
“Wow. Understood. May I eat my breakfast now or are you going to control that situation as well?”
“Kali.” I don’t know why she is being so difficult about this, but I feel like I’m getting ready to explode on her. She is really pissing me off. She’s the only sibling I have so we have always been close. We tell each other our darkest secrets, we lean on each other whenever necessary. Even when it’s not necessary, we are always included in on the happenings in our lives. So I’m sure my being protective over Bailey and not going along with Kali’s game of twenty questions and assumptions is most likely throwing her off kilter a bit. I do feel badly for speaking so sternly with her but she has no idea the severity of all of this. Bailey is quickly becoming comfortably situated in my heart and at this point I am willing to do whatever it takes to make her not only see that but to believe it as well. I can’t have Kali messing that all up by teasing her or sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong.
I lost my appetite after Bailey telling me she didn’t think it was good idea for us to continue along without our boundaries so I am just sitting at the breakfast table while Kali and Hunter eat. I hear Bailey coming down the stairs and in an attempt to respect her wishes I try to sit tight and not run to her the way every fiber of my being is begging me too.
“Good morning again, I decided I needed a quick run before I ate, does that mess up anyone’s plans for this morning?” Bailey asks as she scans all three of us. She looks fairly content. Her eyes are almost normal but still pretty bloodshot from crying. She has redone her makeup so you can’t see the yellowish bruise on her face as much and she’s wearing a hoodie that’s covering the bruises on her arms.
“Hunter and I still need to unpack and get settled. I wanted to go downtown to the shops this afternoon if you want to come with me, but there’s no time frame on that so whenever you’re ready will be fine.” Kali smiles a little too brightly at her but I doubt she notices it.
“Yeah, that sounds great! Have you seen my phone Talon?”
“Uh, yeah, I brought it down for you. It kept chiming with messages so I just powered it down. Hope you don’t mind,” I say as I hand her her phone.
Bailey gives me a sad smile and I have a feeling that she knows they were messages from Hollister and that I most likely had seen them. “I don’t mind at all. I’m sorry about that. I won’t be very long; I’ll see you guys when I get back.”
BAILEY
I wake the next morning disoriented and stiff. I feel like I have been sleeping for days. The sun is barely peeking through the cracks of the darkened drapes but my head is pounding and the little light that is showing is killing me. Talon suggested I stay with him in his bed last night and I happily agreed. I was not in the mood to lay alone in that huge bed feeling sorry for myself. Plus, the fact that he and I were going back to having boundaries today freaked me out and made me all the more unhappy. So the idea of getting to sleep in his bed, cuddled up to his broad, muscled chest all night made my aching heart subside just a little.
I get out of bed and stretch my arms over my head. Talon had given me one of his t-shirts to sleep in, so I am currently clad in that and my panties. I don’t know what time it is but I want to thank him for being there for me last night and possibly get one more kiss before I am banned from his beautiful lips. Kali and Hunter will be here soon so I don’t want to chance taking a shower and missing my opportunity to see Talon before they arrive.
I creep out of his room and glance down the hall to see if he is out on the balcony but the doors are shut tight. It doesn’t look like he is out there so I continue down the stairs in hopes that I would find him the kitchen.
He is standing over the cooktop with his back to me. He’s wearing jogging pants and a hoodie and is absolutely delectable. I quietly walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. I hear him set his spatula down and turn around in my arms.
His eyes are sparkling and he has a mischievous grin. “What are you wearing Bay?” He looks amused and maybe even a little uncomfortable, which confuses me.
“Oh, um I just wanted to run down real quick and thank you for last night. I know our situation changes today, so I was hoping to give you a proper kiss of thanks before Kali got here.” Talon is all out smiling now but he cradles my face and gives me a kiss that makes me go weak in the knees. I pull him closer for support and he deepens the kiss.
“Ahem!” Oh crap, we’re not alone. “Good morning Bailey.” My eyes are about to bug out of their sockets, my heart is beating out of my chest, and not just from his kiss anymore. Kali is standing somewhere to the right of me and I cannot get myself to look away from Talon who is trying very hard not to bust out laughing. He pulls me back in tighter to his body and leans down to whisper in my ear. “Kali is already here, sweetheart.” He kisses the side of my head then takes a step back.
I hit his chest good naturedly and frown at him. “Obviously.”
“Good morning Kali, I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you to be here so early.” Kali doesn’t say anything in return, instead she just laughs. I can feel that my face is the temperature of the sun. Talon grabs my hand and starts to pull me out of the kitchen as I tug on the hem of his shirt that I’m wearing to try and cover a little more of my bare legs.
“Hey! Looking good Bailey,” Hunter says from behind me. I might die of embarrassment right here, right now. Anybody else going to show their beautiful face this morning? Talon’s parents maybe? That would be awesome!
“Good morning Hunter,” I sigh. Talon and Kali laugh lightly and Talon continues to pull me out of the kitchen and walks me to my room.
****
Talon
“What time is it?” Bailey practically shrieks.
“Almost eleven. Why?”
“God, I’m so sorry Talon. I had no idea it was that late. I would have never gone down there like this if I had even the slightest idea that they would be here already. I’m so embarrassed.” Bailey sits down on the side of the bed and buries her face in her hands.
I walk up to her and gently wrap my hands around her wrists. There are still bruises there and I noticed last night that she has bruises higher up on her arms also. It kills me to see them. “Look at me, Bay.”
She shakes her head from side to side before she answers. “I can’t. I just need to get a shower and get on with this day I guess. Oh no, what am I going to say to your sister?”
“Bailey, please look at me.” She starts to drop her hands but I pull them into me and wrap them around my waist. Her face is in line with my stomach. I place my fingers under her chin and gently guide her face to look up at me.
She has makeup under her eyes, her hair is all disheveled, and her eyes are a little puffy from crying last night. I know I shouldn’t have suggested she stay with me in my room last night but I just couldn’t help myself. Not only am I extremely attracted to her physically, but I am so connected to her that I cannot handle her being upset in any way. I have no idea what I’m going to do when she leaves and goes back home to that bastard. I guess I’m just going to have to make it impossible for her to decide to leave me.
“Don’t worry about Kali, alright? It’s not a big deal, I promise you. You look absolutely beautiful in the morning by the way. And wearing my shirt? Mmmm, I almost decided to just carry you right back up here rather than letting you see them in the kitchen.”
“This is not funny! You shouldn’t be joking about it right now. I feel terrible!” She is full on pouting, but not in the ‘I’m not getting my way’ kind of way that immature bimbo type women do. No, this is the ‘I can’t believe this is happening and I’m mortified’ kind of way.
I give her an easy smile and cradle her face with both hands and lean down to kiss her. “Bailey, we are adults and we can choose to do whatever it is that we want to do. I do not need my sister’s permission and neither do you. I know the rules are supposed to change today, but since they are already in on our little secret may I suggest that we continue on without the boundaries for the remainder of the weekend?”
“I’m not sure that’s such a great idea Talon.” She diverts her eyes from mine as she says this. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want those words to be coming out but she says them anyway
. I can’t let this happen
.
I reluctantly drop my hands from her face and take a step back from her and shove my hands into my pockets. “Ok, if that’s what you want then we’ll play by your rules. Why don’t you jump in the shower then come on back down? I was just finishing up with some breakfast.”
Bailey’s shoulders droop and she lowers her voice. “Please don’t be upset Talon. I am so confused right now and I’m not sure where to go from here. I just think it would be best this way.”
“I understand; I’m not upset. Don’t take too long or the food will get cold.” I talk as I’m walking backwards to the door. I need to play this cool so she doesn’t get freaked out, just a little time and a little space and then the plan goes into action. And with that I turn around and walk out of her room.
I go down to my room to grab my phone. I’m sure I have a million missed calls by now with it being a weekday. Just as I am stepping in I hear Bailey’s phone chime with a text message. I decide to grab it for her so she can have it when she comes down for breakfast.
As I pick up her phone, the words on her screen catch my eye and I can’t help but read the two sentences that jump out and make my stomach turn.
I love you so much bailey. Please forgive me. ~Hollister
Now I just want to break her phone. I’m going to have to do something about all of this anger inside me, because at this point I kind of want to beat the hell out of something or someone. Her phone chimes again.
I’ll never forgive myself, and this will never happen again, you need to believe me. I love you. ~Hollister
I need to get rid of her phone already. If he sends another one the poor phone might be killed. I power it down and set it on the kitchen counter as I walk around to the cook top again.
Kali and Hunter are sitting in the dining room right off the kitchen drinking their coffee. I know they both have a lot to say about Bay coming down in just my t-shirt and her panties but they are behaving at the moment. So I finish preparing the breakfast and set it all out on the bar before letting them know they can fix their plates.
Hunter comes in first with a knowing smirk on his face and he claps me on the shoulder. I shake my head at him as if saying “Not right now man.” So he just smiles bigger and says, “Thanks for breakfast, looks good.”
Kali comes around the corner next and starts to say something before I cut her off. “It’s not as bad as it looked Kal, and she’s embarrassed so I would appreciate it if you could, just this one time, keep your mouth shut.”
“Umm, you were shoving your tongue down her throat and she was ‘thanking’ you for last night. If it’s not as bad as it looks, then what is it?” She’s trying to sound pissed for some reason, but she has always been a terrible liar and I can tell that she is enjoying herself immensely.
A deep sigh flies out of my mouth before I can respond. “Kali, I love you, but I don’t owe you anything. An explanation is not going to happen because it’s none of your business. I just ask that you don’t make this situation impossible for Bailey. You already know she is here with us because she’s going through some pretty tough times. She doesn’t need you to make them worse by making any comments about what you saw this morning. Understood?”
“Wow. Understood. May I eat my breakfast now or are you going to control that situation as well?”
“Kali.” I don’t know why she is being so difficult about this, but I feel like I’m getting ready to explode on her. She is really pissing me off. She’s the only sibling I have so we have always been close. We tell each other our darkest secrets, we lean on each other whenever necessary. Even when it’s not necessary, we are always included in on the happenings in our lives. So I’m sure my being protective over Bailey and not going along with Kali’s game of twenty questions and assumptions is most likely throwing her off kilter a bit. I do feel badly for speaking so sternly with her but she has no idea the severity of all of this. Bailey is quickly becoming comfortably situated in my heart and at this point I am willing to do whatever it takes to make her not only see that but to believe it as well. I can’t have Kali messing that all up by teasing her or sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong.
I lost my appetite after Bailey telling me she didn’t think it was good idea for us to continue along without our boundaries so I am just sitting at the breakfast table while Kali and Hunter eat. I hear Bailey coming down the stairs and in an attempt to respect her wishes I try to sit tight and not run to her the way every fiber of my being is begging me too.
“Good morning again, I decided I needed a quick run before I ate, does that mess up anyone’s plans for this morning?” Bailey asks as she scans all three of us. She looks fairly content. Her eyes are almost normal but still pretty bloodshot from crying. She has redone her makeup so you can’t see the yellowish bruise on her face as much and she’s wearing a hoodie that’s covering the bruises on her arms.
“Hunter and I still need to unpack and get settled. I wanted to go downtown to the shops this afternoon if you want to come with me, but there’s no time frame on that so whenever you’re ready will be fine.” Kali smiles a little too brightly at her but I doubt she notices it.
“Yeah, that sounds great! Have you seen my phone Talon?”
“Uh, yeah, I brought it down for you. It kept chiming with messages so I just powered it down. Hope you don’t mind,” I say as I hand her her phone.
Bailey gives me a sad smile and I have a feeling that she knows they were messages from Hollister and that I most likely had seen them. “I don’t mind at all. I’m sorry about that. I won’t be very long; I’ll see you guys when I get back.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
BAILEY
While getting dressed I decided not to let this morning get to me. Kali is my friend, and whatever went down between Talon and me has no effect on Hunter so he shouldn’t be any issue at all. I just need to remain confident and not become insecure or feel badly about my decisions.
What I am going to do about Talon is a whole other story. I have no clue what to do about that. He seems to genuinely care about me which makes things complicated. I never should have made such a proposal to him last night, but being with him and not touching him or not knowing what it felt like to have his lips on mine was hard enough. Throw Missy in the equation and I was a goner. There was no way I could give him the chance to be with her when I wanted to be with him so badly I could taste it.
I’m pretty sure he saw messages from Hollister and that kills me. There’s no telling if it was the Jerk or freaking Prince Charming who was doing the texting this morning. If I had to guess it more than likely started out as freaking Prince Charming who probably turned into the Jerk when I didn’t reply right away.
Gradually getting into a run, I adjust my headphones and pull out my phone to turn on my music. As the phone is powering on I think about who I need this morning to get me through my run. Pink, definitely Pink. She is amazing and her lyrics are what I need right now.
Ready to listen to some music to pump me up and really get me going I glance down at my phone and see 18 in the little red circle by my message symbol.
This is going to be pure hell.
I’m in the middle of message number nine (all from Hollister of course) when his call interrupts me. I slow down to answer it because I know there is no way he’s going to stop if I don’t answer this now.
“Hello?” I answer, winded from running.
“Bailey! Dammit, it’s about time. I was beginning to think you were lying in a ditch somewhere. Why do you sound so out of breath?”
“You have just been consistently messaging me this morning Hollister, it’s not like you have been trying to get in touch for a long time. What can I do for you? I’m kind of busy right now.” I sit down at the bottom of the hill on the side of the McAllister’s driveway.
“Why aren’t you responding to my texts? I’m going crazy over here not knowing what you’re thinking.”
“You want to know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking that you have no right to be harassing me with all of these messages and phone calls. I’m thinking that I have no idea who are you. I’m also thinking that I’m scared to death to even begin to tell you what I am really thinking and how I’m feeling for fear that you are going to beat the crap out of me!! That’s what I’m thinking Hollister!”
Now I’m hunched over crying because all of the heartbreak, confusion, and tears from the past couple of days are catching up to me and I feel like I can’t breathe.
“I apologized a hundred times for that Bailey. You don’t need to be afraid of me, I love you and I will never let that happen again, I swear to you Bay.”
“I just don’t know what to do right now Hollister. I need a few more days to figure this all out.”
“You need to come home; we can figure it out together.”
“I’m not coming home until Sunday.”
“Where are you? I know you’re not with Drea, so who are you with?”
“That’s not important.”
“It’s extremely important! Are you cheating on me Bailey? Is that why you have been so difficult lately?”
“No, I am not sleeping with anyone if that’s what you’re asking. However, the second you laid your hands on me you lost all right to even ask such a question!”
I am losing all control and can’t let him hear that happening so I quickly hang up the phone before the sobs take over. I haven’t let this many tears fall from my eyes in years, now all of a sudden I can’t keep them from coming. I’m crying for all of the losses in my life that I never let myself properly grieve. Now that they have started I decide to give up on the idea of my run. Right now I’m just going to lie on this grass next to the long driveway and let the cold chill of the winter air rush over me.
I have no idea where to go from here. I can’t even wrap my mind around one specific thing I’m crying for right now. My chest feels like there are only bricks inside my rib cage. I can’t breathe like I should be able to. I can’t settle my mind from bouncing around like one of those balls attached to a paddle by a string; the paddle being my skull and the ball being all of my thoughts jumbled together beating it to death. There is a searing pain shooting behind my eyes, a blinding headache. My lips, nose, and hands are tingling. I’m having a panic attack.
Oh God, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!
I faintly hear the fall of footsteps crunching on the dead leaves around me. I am too shaken and too tired to look and see who is approaching me so I continue to let my body take control and do its thing.
Warm, strong arms wrap me up and lift me from the ground. I am still crying too hard to be able to open my eyes and make sure it is who I think it is. But I know that for the rest of my life there is no way I will ever be able to forget the scent of the man carrying me right now. I somehow find the energy to wrap my right hand up around his neck and bury my face into his chest. Being in his arms is calming; however I still can’t get my breathing under control and I’m pretty sure I’m going to hyperventilate and pass out. Not good.
“You need to breathe baby. Everything’s going to be okay, I promise. I have you, just breathe,” Talon says in such a soft and hushed voice I have to really concentrate to understand his words. He continues to walk but holds me a little tighter, a little closer. “Slow and easy breaths love, you can do it, it’s okay.” He kisses the top of my head and I just melt into his body. Exhaustion is setting in, even though I got some really good sleep last night cuddled in his arms.
He carries me back up the small hill with barely even a change in his breathing. He makes his way up the stairs to the porch and through the front door. I keep my eyes closed and face buried because I am embarrassed enough having him see me this way, I don’t need Kali and Hunter to witness this car wreck also.
“What happened? Bay are you ok?” I hear Kali screech and footsteps quickly getting closer to us.
“Just give me a minute Kali, she’s okay. I’m just going to get her upstairs.” I don’t hear anything else until a door opens after we go up the stairs. I assume he is going to put me in bed and shut the door, and most likely hope I will eventually come back down as if nothing happened. I’m sure he’s thinking he’s dodged a bullet where I’m concerned.
Instead I’m set down on a cushioned bench and I hear water running. My eyes hurt so badly I can’t focus to see exactly what is going on. I trust Talon more than I have trusted anyone in a very long time, so I’m not in too big a rush to force my eyes open and inspect my surroundings.
A warm, plush washcloth meets my closed eyelids and it is instantly soothing. The cloth slowly swipes down the side of my face then back up to my forehead before repeating the process on the opposite side. I can feel my breathing slowly getting into a steady rhythm. The tingling in my hands and nose has subsided and I am left with only a slight tingle in my lips.
“Does that feel better baby?” I heard his term of endearment for me earlier but I was too out of it to focus on it. But hearing it now is making my body react. I never would have expected myself to enjoy such a pet name, but I do. I kind of don’t want to hear him call me anything else ever again. Well, except maybe
love.
I can’t quite muster up any words yet, but I slowly open my eyes to see him only inches from my face and give him a couple small nods.
“Your bath is just about ready for you. Can you stand on your own yet or do you need some help? I can have Kali come in if you want.” He is seeing me at my worst and I want him. I want him to help me; I want him in that tub with me. I’m sure this is just all too much for him. I don’t blame him one bit. It’s too much for me and I’m living it.
“No, I can do it,” is all that comes out of my mouth. I want to say so much to this beautiful man, but I just can’t find the words.
“Alright then. Relax Bailey, just take some time and try to clear your mind ok? Don’t try to solve anything today, just let your mind rest. Promise me?”
“Yes. I’ll try, I promise.” I lay my head back onto the bench seat and close my eyes again. I hear the water turn off then his footsteps make their way to the carpet of his room. It hits me that I haven’t even thanked him for taking such great care of me, when he has absolutely no obligation in any way. “Talon?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you… for everything.”
“You’re welcome love.” He softly closes the door behind him and I instantly feel alone and lost again.
Sitting up and stretching, I take in the very luxurious bathroom. I hadn’t paid any attention when I came to his room last night. I was aware that it was here, but this is nothing at all like I would have expected. This has to be one of the rooms remodeled since they built the place. It is all white. White marble counter tops, white marble tile floors. A spacious walk-in shower with the same white marble and two showerheads with body jets on the walls. There are fluffy white rugs strategically placed throughout the massive room.
I stand and walk towards the water and bubble filled claw foot tub. It is gorgeous and I can’t wait another minute to get into it. I start to strip out of my clothes and go to the double sink vanity. Taking in my awful sight, I wonder how I let myself get here.
I look terrible.
I take inventory of the bruises that are starting to fade slightly, the dark circles beneath my bloodshot eyes, the red nose, and swollen lips. I reach up and knot my hair on top of my head, leaving a few strands of hair to hang in my face that are too short to be pulled up.
Lowering myself into the warm bath, I can almost see all of the tension in my body float away. I feel weightless and relaxed. My chest feels like my heart has replaced the bricks once again. My heart is still hurting but it is whole and it is there, I can work with that. My eyelids drift closed and I let my head fall back onto the terry cloth bath pillow attached to the back of the tub. I am completely calm, my heart rate normal and my breathing is no longer coming out in bursts. I feel somewhat peaceful.
The door to the bedroom opens and closes quietly. Because of the carpet in there, I can’t hear if someone is coming into the bathroom or not, but I am too relaxed to turn my head to check. I know there are enough bubbles in here to cover me completely so I’m not worried about it. I am, of course, hoping it is Talon, but I owe my friend an explanation. A couple explanations actually, and if Kali wants them I will give them to her.
“Bailey, is it alright if I come in?” It is Talon. I can’t help the small smile on my lips.
“Of course,” I reply without opening my eyes. I hear the sound of a chair or stool being set next to the tub. I guess he is planning to stay awhile. I have no problems with that.
“How are you holding up?” There is so much concern in his voice, I hate it. I wish we could have met under different circumstances at a different time in my life. Our relationship, whatever it might turn out to be, will always be tainted with this.
“Much better now, did you put some sort of drug in this water? I have never felt so relaxed so quickly. I swear the second I sank down in here I was completely relaxed.”
A soft chuckle comes out of his mouth and I have to open my eyes in hopes of catching a smile on his lips. I am successful, it is there and it makes me happy. “It’s the lavender, it does wonders. My mom used to put me in lavender baths as a kid after my hockey games; I guess I never grew out of the habit.” After tearing my gaze from his smile I notice that he has hooked a tray filled with pastries, juice, and coffee across the tub. My eyes widen at the sight. “You didn’t have to do this Talon. It’s too much; you don’t have to be doing all of this for me. I’m a mess, and I know this, but I won’t ruin your vacation. I’m so sorry that you’re taking all of this on. You should just go and do what you had planned before I intruded.” I should have just said thank you and that it all looked lovely, but that’s not what wanted to escape my mouth. I feel terribly guilty for imposing so much on him. I love what he is doing for me, but these problems aren’t his and he shouldn’t have to come along on this ride with me. The tears that I thought had all drained out of me are present again, streaming down my face.
Talon reaches over and wipes the tears away from my face once more. He keeps his left hand cupping my cheek as he speaks softly to me. “It’s just food Bailey, and you need to eat. Please stop worrying about me; I am right where I want to be. You could never impose on anything that I am doing so please stop saying things like that.” His voice is soft but tight, his brows are furrowed and his gaze is fixed on my eyes. He leans in to kiss my forehead and my lips ache for his touch.
“It looks lovely, thank you.” There, I got the appropriate words out to him. I smile through my watery eyes and reach for the coffee.
“I, um, turned your phone off again. He wouldn’t stop calling. Does he know where you are? Should we be expecting him to show up?”
A long sigh escapes as I lean my head back and close my eyes again. “No, he doesn’t know where I am. I never told him who I’m with. I promise you he won’t show up here.”
BAILEY
While getting dressed I decided not to let this morning get to me. Kali is my friend, and whatever went down between Talon and me has no effect on Hunter so he shouldn’t be any issue at all. I just need to remain confident and not become insecure or feel badly about my decisions.
What I am going to do about Talon is a whole other story. I have no clue what to do about that. He seems to genuinely care about me which makes things complicated. I never should have made such a proposal to him last night, but being with him and not touching him or not knowing what it felt like to have his lips on mine was hard enough. Throw Missy in the equation and I was a goner. There was no way I could give him the chance to be with her when I wanted to be with him so badly I could taste it.
I’m pretty sure he saw messages from Hollister and that kills me. There’s no telling if it was the Jerk or freaking Prince Charming who was doing the texting this morning. If I had to guess it more than likely started out as freaking Prince Charming who probably turned into the Jerk when I didn’t reply right away.
Gradually getting into a run, I adjust my headphones and pull out my phone to turn on my music. As the phone is powering on I think about who I need this morning to get me through my run. Pink, definitely Pink. She is amazing and her lyrics are what I need right now.
Ready to listen to some music to pump me up and really get me going I glance down at my phone and see 18 in the little red circle by my message symbol.
This is going to be pure hell.
I’m in the middle of message number nine (all from Hollister of course) when his call interrupts me. I slow down to answer it because I know there is no way he’s going to stop if I don’t answer this now.
“Hello?” I answer, winded from running.
“Bailey! Dammit, it’s about time. I was beginning to think you were lying in a ditch somewhere. Why do you sound so out of breath?”
“You have just been consistently messaging me this morning Hollister, it’s not like you have been trying to get in touch for a long time. What can I do for you? I’m kind of busy right now.” I sit down at the bottom of the hill on the side of the McAllister’s driveway.
“Why aren’t you responding to my texts? I’m going crazy over here not knowing what you’re thinking.”
“You want to know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking that you have no right to be harassing me with all of these messages and phone calls. I’m thinking that I have no idea who are you. I’m also thinking that I’m scared to death to even begin to tell you what I am really thinking and how I’m feeling for fear that you are going to beat the crap out of me!! That’s what I’m thinking Hollister!”
Now I’m hunched over crying because all of the heartbreak, confusion, and tears from the past couple of days are catching up to me and I feel like I can’t breathe.
“I apologized a hundred times for that Bailey. You don’t need to be afraid of me, I love you and I will never let that happen again, I swear to you Bay.”
“I just don’t know what to do right now Hollister. I need a few more days to figure this all out.”
“You need to come home; we can figure it out together.”
“I’m not coming home until Sunday.”
“Where are you? I know you’re not with Drea, so who are you with?”
“That’s not important.”
“It’s extremely important! Are you cheating on me Bailey? Is that why you have been so difficult lately?”
“No, I am not sleeping with anyone if that’s what you’re asking. However, the second you laid your hands on me you lost all right to even ask such a question!”
I am losing all control and can’t let him hear that happening so I quickly hang up the phone before the sobs take over. I haven’t let this many tears fall from my eyes in years, now all of a sudden I can’t keep them from coming. I’m crying for all of the losses in my life that I never let myself properly grieve. Now that they have started I decide to give up on the idea of my run. Right now I’m just going to lie on this grass next to the long driveway and let the cold chill of the winter air rush over me.
I have no idea where to go from here. I can’t even wrap my mind around one specific thing I’m crying for right now. My chest feels like there are only bricks inside my rib cage. I can’t breathe like I should be able to. I can’t settle my mind from bouncing around like one of those balls attached to a paddle by a string; the paddle being my skull and the ball being all of my thoughts jumbled together beating it to death. There is a searing pain shooting behind my eyes, a blinding headache. My lips, nose, and hands are tingling. I’m having a panic attack.
Oh God, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!
I faintly hear the fall of footsteps crunching on the dead leaves around me. I am too shaken and too tired to look and see who is approaching me so I continue to let my body take control and do its thing.
Warm, strong arms wrap me up and lift me from the ground. I am still crying too hard to be able to open my eyes and make sure it is who I think it is. But I know that for the rest of my life there is no way I will ever be able to forget the scent of the man carrying me right now. I somehow find the energy to wrap my right hand up around his neck and bury my face into his chest. Being in his arms is calming; however I still can’t get my breathing under control and I’m pretty sure I’m going to hyperventilate and pass out. Not good.
“You need to breathe baby. Everything’s going to be okay, I promise. I have you, just breathe,” Talon says in such a soft and hushed voice I have to really concentrate to understand his words. He continues to walk but holds me a little tighter, a little closer. “Slow and easy breaths love, you can do it, it’s okay.” He kisses the top of my head and I just melt into his body. Exhaustion is setting in, even though I got some really good sleep last night cuddled in his arms.
He carries me back up the small hill with barely even a change in his breathing. He makes his way up the stairs to the porch and through the front door. I keep my eyes closed and face buried because I am embarrassed enough having him see me this way, I don’t need Kali and Hunter to witness this car wreck also.
“What happened? Bay are you ok?” I hear Kali screech and footsteps quickly getting closer to us.
“Just give me a minute Kali, she’s okay. I’m just going to get her upstairs.” I don’t hear anything else until a door opens after we go up the stairs. I assume he is going to put me in bed and shut the door, and most likely hope I will eventually come back down as if nothing happened. I’m sure he’s thinking he’s dodged a bullet where I’m concerned.
Instead I’m set down on a cushioned bench and I hear water running. My eyes hurt so badly I can’t focus to see exactly what is going on. I trust Talon more than I have trusted anyone in a very long time, so I’m not in too big a rush to force my eyes open and inspect my surroundings.
A warm, plush washcloth meets my closed eyelids and it is instantly soothing. The cloth slowly swipes down the side of my face then back up to my forehead before repeating the process on the opposite side. I can feel my breathing slowly getting into a steady rhythm. The tingling in my hands and nose has subsided and I am left with only a slight tingle in my lips.
“Does that feel better baby?” I heard his term of endearment for me earlier but I was too out of it to focus on it. But hearing it now is making my body react. I never would have expected myself to enjoy such a pet name, but I do. I kind of don’t want to hear him call me anything else ever again. Well, except maybe
love.
I can’t quite muster up any words yet, but I slowly open my eyes to see him only inches from my face and give him a couple small nods.
“Your bath is just about ready for you. Can you stand on your own yet or do you need some help? I can have Kali come in if you want.” He is seeing me at my worst and I want him. I want him to help me; I want him in that tub with me. I’m sure this is just all too much for him. I don’t blame him one bit. It’s too much for me and I’m living it.
“No, I can do it,” is all that comes out of my mouth. I want to say so much to this beautiful man, but I just can’t find the words.
“Alright then. Relax Bailey, just take some time and try to clear your mind ok? Don’t try to solve anything today, just let your mind rest. Promise me?”
“Yes. I’ll try, I promise.” I lay my head back onto the bench seat and close my eyes again. I hear the water turn off then his footsteps make their way to the carpet of his room. It hits me that I haven’t even thanked him for taking such great care of me, when he has absolutely no obligation in any way. “Talon?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you… for everything.”
“You’re welcome love.” He softly closes the door behind him and I instantly feel alone and lost again.
Sitting up and stretching, I take in the very luxurious bathroom. I hadn’t paid any attention when I came to his room last night. I was aware that it was here, but this is nothing at all like I would have expected. This has to be one of the rooms remodeled since they built the place. It is all white. White marble counter tops, white marble tile floors. A spacious walk-in shower with the same white marble and two showerheads with body jets on the walls. There are fluffy white rugs strategically placed throughout the massive room.
I stand and walk towards the water and bubble filled claw foot tub. It is gorgeous and I can’t wait another minute to get into it. I start to strip out of my clothes and go to the double sink vanity. Taking in my awful sight, I wonder how I let myself get here.
I look terrible.
I take inventory of the bruises that are starting to fade slightly, the dark circles beneath my bloodshot eyes, the red nose, and swollen lips. I reach up and knot my hair on top of my head, leaving a few strands of hair to hang in my face that are too short to be pulled up.
Lowering myself into the warm bath, I can almost see all of the tension in my body float away. I feel weightless and relaxed. My chest feels like my heart has replaced the bricks once again. My heart is still hurting but it is whole and it is there, I can work with that. My eyelids drift closed and I let my head fall back onto the terry cloth bath pillow attached to the back of the tub. I am completely calm, my heart rate normal and my breathing is no longer coming out in bursts. I feel somewhat peaceful.
The door to the bedroom opens and closes quietly. Because of the carpet in there, I can’t hear if someone is coming into the bathroom or not, but I am too relaxed to turn my head to check. I know there are enough bubbles in here to cover me completely so I’m not worried about it. I am, of course, hoping it is Talon, but I owe my friend an explanation. A couple explanations actually, and if Kali wants them I will give them to her.
“Bailey, is it alright if I come in?” It is Talon. I can’t help the small smile on my lips.
“Of course,” I reply without opening my eyes. I hear the sound of a chair or stool being set next to the tub. I guess he is planning to stay awhile. I have no problems with that.
“How are you holding up?” There is so much concern in his voice, I hate it. I wish we could have met under different circumstances at a different time in my life. Our relationship, whatever it might turn out to be, will always be tainted with this.
“Much better now, did you put some sort of drug in this water? I have never felt so relaxed so quickly. I swear the second I sank down in here I was completely relaxed.”
A soft chuckle comes out of his mouth and I have to open my eyes in hopes of catching a smile on his lips. I am successful, it is there and it makes me happy. “It’s the lavender, it does wonders. My mom used to put me in lavender baths as a kid after my hockey games; I guess I never grew out of the habit.” After tearing my gaze from his smile I notice that he has hooked a tray filled with pastries, juice, and coffee across the tub. My eyes widen at the sight. “You didn’t have to do this Talon. It’s too much; you don’t have to be doing all of this for me. I’m a mess, and I know this, but I won’t ruin your vacation. I’m so sorry that you’re taking all of this on. You should just go and do what you had planned before I intruded.” I should have just said thank you and that it all looked lovely, but that’s not what wanted to escape my mouth. I feel terribly guilty for imposing so much on him. I love what he is doing for me, but these problems aren’t his and he shouldn’t have to come along on this ride with me. The tears that I thought had all drained out of me are present again, streaming down my face.
Talon reaches over and wipes the tears away from my face once more. He keeps his left hand cupping my cheek as he speaks softly to me. “It’s just food Bailey, and you need to eat. Please stop worrying about me; I am right where I want to be. You could never impose on anything that I am doing so please stop saying things like that.” His voice is soft but tight, his brows are furrowed and his gaze is fixed on my eyes. He leans in to kiss my forehead and my lips ache for his touch.
“It looks lovely, thank you.” There, I got the appropriate words out to him. I smile through my watery eyes and reach for the coffee.
“I, um, turned your phone off again. He wouldn’t stop calling. Does he know where you are? Should we be expecting him to show up?”
A long sigh escapes as I lean my head back and close my eyes again. “No, he doesn’t know where I am. I never told him who I’m with. I promise you he won’t show up here.”
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