Worth It All (The McKinney Brothers #3) (12 page)

So are you,
he thought.
All those things and more.
“Did you try the school-supply bribe yet?”

“No, not yet.”

He opened his mouth to say, “Maybe we could do that.” It seemed like the most natural thing in the world. He’d have to think about that too.

“You should have seen me when I first had her. I was always afraid that I would drop her or lay her down wrong or feed her the wrong thing.”

He tried to picture Paige as a young mother, scared and unsure and trying so hard. It hurt to think about her being alone.

“Let me finish your nails.” She leaned forward for the cotton ball and quickly finished the last two, then took the cotton balls and bottle of acetone into the kitchen.

He watched her, wondering when the last time was he’d talked to a woman. Talked to anyone about anything meaningful other than Simon. There were women who worked at Evolution, there was the girl at the coffee shop who always smiled at him and he said thank you, but he didn’t want to hold their hand or find out everything about their life. “You know what Casey told me earlier?”

She looked back at him over her shoulder. “I can’t imagine.”

“She said you don’t believe in fairy tales.”

“Oh, yeah.” She gave a little laugh and came back to sit beside him, tucking her feet under her. “Not so much. I believe in bills and rent and work. I’m more likely to believe in mermaids and trolls than fairy tales.”

He didn’t like hearing that, couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to try and change her mind. Or was that her way of reminding him that she didn’t want a relationship? He stretched his arm around the back of the couch. “So no princess dress-up for you?”

“Nope. And no prince. I’ve seen way too many frogs. My mom’s, not mine,” she added quickly then looked down at her hands resting on her thigh. “I just had the one.”

“Casey’s father?”

She nodded and he couldn’t resist letting his hand slip down to curl around her shoulders. The heat of her body warmed his palm through the thin cotton. “You and Casey don’t see him?”

“No. It’s for the best.”

She said it lightly, but he knew that’s not something Paige would have taken lightly. He smoothed his hand up and down her arm tenderly, waiting for her to say more.

“I never knew what my mom was looking for but I don’t think she ever found it. She’d get so wrapped up in these men, always talking about how things were going to be different, but it never worked out.”

“Is this your way of saying you’re not going to get wrapped up in me?” He tried to sound playful, but held his breath for her answer.

“No, I guess it’s my way of saying I’m already so wrapped up there’s not much of me left.”

Her eyes were so serious, so full of responsibility, he felt the weight himself. He cupped her jaw, running his gaze over her face, her delicate features. Even her coloring was delicate, her light hair, fair skin, and pale brows. It all made the vibrant blue of her eyes stand out even more. Dear God, he was in trouble here. In serious danger of losing his heart in a way he hadn’t even thought he was capable of. “I think there’s a lot left. An absolutely beautiful, sweet, and intelligent amount left, and I can’t not kiss you.”

He caught the surprise in her eyes just before he took her mouth in a searing kiss. Paige immediately opened to him, shifted onto her knees and slid her arms around his shoulders, her hands going into his hair. He breathed in the faint sweetness of her shampoo, and the scent that was Paige, and deepened the kiss. It was like this every time he kissed her, every time they touched. Heat and need and a fierce demand to get closer.

With one hand cradling the back of her head, the other roamed up her thigh, bringing a moan when he reached the seam of her underwear through the thin cotton. He stayed there a bit, teasing her, before continuing upward until his hand covered her breast. She gasped and moaned again when he squeezed her hard nipple between his fingers and his heart pounded in his chest.

Paige was a passion, when he hadn’t been passionate about anything in so long. He had his work, but he didn’t feel it in his blood. It didn’t make his heart race and his body vibrate. He left her mouth to scrape his teeth lightly down the column of her throat, then kissed his way back up and over her jaw before finding her mouth again, this time hotter, hungrier.

No matter what his sister said, he knew this wasn’t a play-it-as-you-go, see-what-happens kind of deal. There were two options: leave now, or lay her down on this couch and take things to a level neither of them were ready for.

He was just summoning the strength to pull back when Jenny burst through the door like a firecracker and Paige jerked back.

“Oops. Sorry,” Jenny said. Her smile said she wasn’t at all sorry, more like amused that she’d almost caught somebody with their pants down. Regretfully not.

“I didn’t hear your car,” Paige said.

“Really? I couldn’t tell.” Jenny went to the fridge. “And don’t mind me. I’ll be out of here in two seconds. I wouldn’t want to interrupt.”

“You’re not interrupting,” Paige said.

“Well, that’s just wrong,” Jenny muttered.

“I should go.” Jake stood and stared down into Paige’s face, getting a hot visual of all the things Jenny could have been interrupting. “Can you bring Casey by this week for some new scans? Maybe Wednesday?”

“I work until three. Can I bring her by after that?”

“Sure. Whatever works.” She was still looking up at him and he was still not wanting to leave things with no more than plans to see him at work. “What are the odds you’re off next Saturday?”

Curious blue eyes met his. “Um…I think I work until four, but I’ll have to double-check. Why? Want to go for a Coke?”

“No. Not a Coke. Or a beer. Simon’s sister is getting married. I thought maybe you’d want to go with me?”

“Ooh! A wedding!” Jenny interjected, and they both swung their gaze to her still standing in the kitchen. “I vote yes and I can watch Casey.”

Paige pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes searching his for a long moment before she finally answered. “Okay.”

With Jenny watching intently, he pressed a quick, hard kiss to her lips. Just that warmed him to the point he saw a cold shower in his near future.

Paige stayed at the door and watched him drive away until his taillights disappeared.

“So, what were you and Mr. Fine up to tonight?”

“He brought over some catalogs for Casey to look at for her new prosthesis. Oh, and dinner. He brought a massive Italian feast.” She couldn’t deny the shiver of happy heat that ran through her as she said it.

“So nothing was going on?”

She turned to face Jenny’s inquisition, ready to admit at least part of her feelings. But as she did, Jenny reached up into the cabinet, making her hair fall back, revealing her face. “Oh my gosh! Jenny, what happened?”

Jenny pulled her hair forward to cover the angry red and purple mark on her jaw. “Just someone stupid.”

Paige went over for a better look, but Jenny pulled away. “Who were you with tonight?”

“Most recently? Simon.”

“Simon did that?”

“No! God, no. He came by the diner and I was upset. The someone stupid dropped me at my car as Simon was pulling in. He’s like a saint.”

“Yes, he is.”

“Lot of that going around,” Jenny said, grinning.

“You didn’t answer me,” Paige said, unwilling to let it go. “Who did that?”

“One of the idiots I was dumb enough to go out with a few weeks ago. He was waiting for me outside the diner. Wanted to start things up again. I said no. He didn’t like my answer.”

“Shit.” Her cousin was the fun-loving party girl, but she could be stubborn. Paige worried about her, that with her past she might be looking for the wrong kind of love in all the wrong places.

“Simon happened to pull in, going for a late dinner, I guess. Let me say it is extremely lucky the asshole idiot was already in his car and halfway out of the parking lot. Jeez.”

“Promise me you won’t see him again.”

“I promised Simon and I’ll promise you. Besides, I don’t think Simon is planning on letting it go. He’s itching to exercise some kind of super-secret torture.”

“Okay.” She relaxed slightly, trusting her cousin to resist any further advances from the asshole.

“What did you think of Simon? You never said.”

“He’s nice.”

Jenny scanned the inside of the refrigerator, and Paige studied her back. It wasn’t like her cousin to be so vague, but then again Simon wasn’t exactly her type. She went more for the broody, motorcycle type. Simon was much too happy.

Jenny pulled out a box of leftover pasta. “Yum.” She brought the carry-out box to the table. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Of course not.” Not only was there enough food for ten, but next to Casey, she loved her cousin more than anyone. She thought of
Jake,
and chills shot through her as her mind and heart linked him with the idea of loving someone. She didn’t love many people, maybe she didn’t love or trust easily, but the idea of loving Jake rolled through her like a gentle wave.

“Do you want some more?”

“What?” Paige blinked as Jenny twirled a strand of spaghetti around and around her fork.

“You’re staring at my food.”

“Oh. No.” Paige shook her head and walked blindly to the sink.

“We already know he’s a hot man walking, but holy
crap
! And Casey adores him.”

“I know. He’s great with her.”
And me.

“He’s crazy about you,” Jenny said around a mouthful. “You better figure out what you’re doing before some ho snatches him up.”

Paige didn’t think Jake would let anyone snatch him up, but the thought of another woman touching him made her green. Jenny was right. She needed to figure out what she was doing, and figure out what to do about the fact that she was just as crazy about him.

JT let himself into his house, greeting Boulder and flipping on a light to illuminate his distinctly male space. He dropped his keys on the entryway table, that and the mirror over it a house-warming gift from his parents. Lizzie had done her best on a visit last year. She’d hit up a home store in an effort to make his house a home. It was still a guy space, he’d admit that, with its dark leather furniture, wood floors, and bare windows. He’d always liked it.

After hours with Paige and Casey, what he noticed most was the silence, the emptiness. He pictured Paige here in this space, her light against the darkness. He passed his dark leather couch on his way to let Boulder out and imagined laying Paige out there. He walked through the kitchen and saw himself sitting her on the black granite countertop, stepping between her legs. Then laying outside with her, looking at the stars and listening to her voice.

Frustrated with himself, he called to Boulder, who was sniffing around the back gate, and went for that cold shower. Once in his bedroom, he unbuttoned his shirt, then his pants. Even with the highest level of technology available to him, he still had to sit down to take off his jeans because he couldn’t toe off his shoes like he used to.

He sat on the toilet seat and slid them down past his knees, then rolled the silicone liner down far enough to disengage the suction. After that the leg and pants came off together, and he grabbed the prosthesis he wore in the shower. He could wear his everyday leg, but then he’d have to dump the water out of the foot and make sure it dried completely, so when he was home and it was convenient, he used this one.

The first streams of cold water hit his skin and he sucked in a breath. This was good. Almost impossible to think about the taste of Paige, the shape of her breast in his palm, or her sexy inhale when his thumb brushed over her nipple.

Damn it. He slapped his hand against the cold tile. He wanted to be inside her, and not just to have sex, though that would be beyond-his-dreams amazing. He mostly just wanted to be as close to her as possible, to lose himself in her.

His thoughts turned more vivid, and he closed his eyes and imagined her standing in front of him, her ass pressing back against his groin. Running soap-slicked hands up and over her breasts as he licked the beads of water from her neck. He’d tell her to put her hands against the wall and she’d do it, bending over, pushing her hips back even more, begging him to take her from behind.

Blood throbbed through his erection and he groaned, resting his forehead against the tile. So much for a cold shower.

He’d never felt this way, shouldn’t feel this way now, but he did. When he looked into Paige’s ocean-blue eyes, he wanted everything. But even if she changed her mind about fairy tales, he sure as hell was no prince.

He stood there another few minutes before getting out. Then, still damp from the shower, he pulled on boxers and lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. No matter how many times he replayed his past, trying to conjure up a different outcome, it was always the same. Even eight years later he could still hear the church bells ringing, still feel the tie of his tux choking his neck as he’d jogged down the steps outside Saint Sebastian’s after Matt and Abby’s wedding.

The sun burned bright in a blue sky, the January air was crisp and cool. He’d needed to crank up some music, have a moment to himself before talking to his billion relatives.

He cleared the last step, turned right down the sidewalk, and—Shit. Rachel, his very much ex-girlfriend, stood, leaning against his red Mazda. Double shit. She’d be good and pissed he hadn’t caved in time to take her to his brother’s wedding. She had a thing for weddings.

A year behind him in school, they’d taken an angry break when he’d gone off to college last fall. The end of a long battle because he’d refused to turn down a football scholarship to a D1 college instead of staying local and waiting for her to graduate. As if he’d ever consider doing something so stupid.

But six weeks ago he’d come home for Christmas break and they’d gotten together, all the way together.

For about ten seconds he’d thought a long-distance thing might actually work. But as soon as their clothes were back on, Rachel’s claws came out, and it was right back to where they’d left off.

“Have you been with other girls since you left? You’re cheating on me, aren’t you?”

He wasn’t a cheater, but they’d been broken up. Wrong answer.

“I’ll forgive you if you come home,” she’d said, like she was doing him a favor.

She really thought he’d quit football? Transfer schools? Was she crazy? He’d choked out a laugh, not because it was funny, but just from shock.

“We’re never getting back together!” she’d screamed. “Ever! I mean it!” Then she’d slapped him across the face.

That had pissed him off. The slap, not the words, because he was done with this shit. He’d never made her promises, never led her on. They’d been high school sweethearts, teenagers with a teenage love who did the breakup, makeup every other weekend.

But now here she was, waiting for him, two months after that ultimatum, Christmas break throwdown, and she didn’t even look mad. A trickle of unease slid down his spine as he stopped in front of her.

“Hey,” she said, looking up at him with an almost shy smile.

He slipped off the tie and released the top button. “Hey. What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you.” She brushed back her long, dark hair that he knew to be silky soft. “My sister dropped me off. I told her you’d take me home.”

Nope, she definitely didn’t look mad. She looked hot in tight jeans and a tighter red sweater, and, as always, it was hard to say no to her. “Sure.” She was already halfway around to the passenger side before he hit the unlock button.

Hot or not, they were not getting back together. No way. College classes were too hard, winter workouts were kicking his ass. He was done with drama. Done with girls for a while. He slid behind the wheel and she got in beside him.

“How was the wedding?”

“Good. Long.” He started the car, revved the engine once, then pulled out, wondering what her game was. Maybe she wanted to apologize for slapping him. Rachel could be sweet, but she was also spoiled and conceited, and so beautiful he hadn’t cared.

“How’s football?”

“It’s good.” Great, actually.

Stephen and Matt had seen him play in the last game, which was cool, and next fall chances were good they’d see him take the field as a starter. See him do something big, like maybe be the first wide receiver in nineteen years to win the Heisman. Even his coaches thought it was possible if he worked hard enough. He was one step closer to his dreams of playing pro football.

She fiddled with her purse strap. “That’s good. I’m really proud of you.”

He made the turn that wound through the woods to Rachel’s house. They were both quiet a minute. Another thing not at all like her.

“I have something to tell you,” she finally said.

Okay.
He drew the word out in his mind, gave her a sideways glance, no idea what to expect. I’m sorry? I’m moving? I’m going to UNC instead of South Carolina?

“I’m pregnant.”

He stopped breathing. His lungs seized until the pressure in his chest became too much and he sucked in a breath. He hadn’t heard her right. They used a condom. Always. Almost always. But she was on the pill. “That’s impossible.”

“Well, it’s not impossible because I am,” she said, a touch of haughty impatience in her voice before it softened again and she smiled sweetly. “I just found out, and I knew you’d be coming home for the wedding, so I wanted to tell you in person.”

“You said you were still on the pill.”

“I am. Or I was.” She bit her lip. “I might have missed a few. But it’s too late now, right?” She turned in her seat to face him. “I’m due in September. We should get married soon. Before or after I tell my parents? They’re going to freak, so maybe we should get married before we tell them about the baby. What do you think?”

He couldn’t process, his brain in complete denial. “What?”

“What do you mean, ‘what’? Did you hear me? I’m pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.”

“Are you sure it’s mine?”
Please, God, don’t let it be mine.

“I cannot believe you would ask me that! You’re the one that hooked up with another girl!”

This isn’t happening. His arms shook, he was gripping the steering wheel so hard. Sweat dripped down his spine and the wheel slid through his tight grip as he took another turn.

He was going to be a father. A husband. He’d get a job. No more college. No more football. No being something great. No catching up to his brothers, who were always ten steps ahead of him.

“It’ll be fine. You’ll see.”

His stomach rolled with nausea and…she was smiling. Smiling! He stared out at the road, barely seeing it.

“We won’t fight anymore, and both our moms will help with the baby. It won’t even be that hard. It’ll be fun.”

No. It won’t. It won’t be fun. He couldn’t breathe.

“I’m nineteen years old,” he muttered under his breath, knowing she was just as young, but…this is what she’d wanted. This is what she’d asked him for. To stay home, to get married.

My brothers would have never done something like this.

“Slow down.”

Bare winter trees flew past on his left, but he didn’t slow down, as if maybe he could outrun this. His car the only thing he had to hold on to, the speed the only thing he could control.

Rachel went on and on. Where they would live, job ideas she had for him, and he was sick. He had the tedious and fleeting thought he should pull over so he didn’t puke in his car.

“Aren’t you excited?”

He struggled to breathe.

Quit football. Quit school. Get a job. Support a family.

His heart pounded painfully and his chest squeezed. Rachel was hammering at him, screaming at him. I don’t want this. I don’t. He needed air.

“You should be happy! It’s your baby!”

“Well, I’m not! I’m not happy!”

He snapped like he always did when Rachel screamed at him, pushed him. Always backing him into a corner. They rounded a sharp turn and he saw an instant too late he was going too fast to make it, and then they weren’t on the road anymore.