Worth It All (The McKinney Brothers #3) (20 page)

JT smiled as he pulled up in front of Paige’s trailer, happy to see her car was there and she hadn’t taken an extra shift today. She’d been working too hard since their return from Virginia. And he’d admit it bothered him even more than it had before. For her and for himself.

In addition to work and studying, she wouldn’t make a habit of sleeping at his house, which he understood even if he didn’t like it. And him sleeping at her place was out of the question. The most he’d gotten in five days were a few stolen kisses.

He definitely wanted more, to touch her, to kiss his way past her lips all the way down her spectacular body. But he also wanted to talk to her and look at her and lose himself in her eyes. He also wanted her to take a night off and he meant to make that happen. He’d take them out to dinner, maybe suggest a movie at his house, a Disney something or other, and then woo her into staying if Casey fell asleep. That was the plan.

He climbed the steps and knocked lightly before letting himself in. Casey sat on the couch, facing a video and dipping her hand into a bag of snack crackers. “Hey, Case. Where’s Mommy?”

“She’s lying down.”

“Really?” That was unusual. Maybe she was studying.

“Jenny said she’s tired so I’m not yelling for her.”

Huh. He moved toward the back and ran into Jenny in the kitchen.

“Hey, handsome. What’s in the bag?”

He glanced down at the plastic bag in his hand. “Just a few things from the hardware store. I thought I’d replace the door latch.”

She peeked in, then grinned up at him. “You’re cute.”

Batteries, a flashlight, and door latches didn’t exactly say I love you, so he’d added a candy bar. And gum.

Jenny kissed his cheek. “You came at a good time. She had a fall at work and I’m on my way out.”

“What?” He started to step around her.

“It’s nothing serious. Just a bruise, but Mac sent her home. Told her to take off a few days. She’s being stubborn, of course.”

He dropped the bag on the table. He’d wanted time with her, he didn’t want her hurt.

“Hey.” Jenny stopped him with a hand on his arm. “I like you.”

“I’m glad.”

“Don’t make me not like you.”

“I won’t.” He reached her room and found her at her dresser, wearing nothing but a T-shirt that barely reached her navel and underwear. Damn, she was beautiful. “Paige?”

“Hey. What are you doing here?”

“I came over to fix the door. What are you doing up?”

“I’m fine.”

He was beside her in three steps and he caught her by the shoulders. He gently ran his hand down her arm, and she hissed in a breath when he got to her elbow. It was dark red, headed toward purple. “Where else are you hurt?”

“I’m not hurt, I’m just—”

“Paige.” He reached for her shirt. If she wouldn’t show him, he’d see for himself.

“Okay. Fine. My hip is bruised but it’s nothing.”

He examined her hip, which was worse than the elbow. “You should lie down with some ice.”

“I do not need to—”

“I can pick you up and put you in bed, but I don’t want to hurt you, so please.”

“Jeez. You’re so bossy.”

Her tone was teasing, but he could see the strain of pain around her eyes and mouth. “I can get way more bossy. Have you taken anything?”

“I took a painkiller at work,” she said, sitting on the side of the bed. “I was about to take another one.”

He pulled the covers back and straightened her pillow. “Come on,” he said, patting the pillow while he waited.

She grinned up at him. “You should have been a nurse.”

When she got to where he wanted her, he pulled the covers up and stood. The fatigue in her eyes and under them bothered him more than the bruise. She was wearing herself into the ground. She’d barely stopped to take a breath since last weekend, like she had to make up for having two days of fun. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.”

He returned with two more pain tablets he’d found in the bathroom and some water. “Take these.”

“Thanks. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will.” Though if she thought she was going to work tomorrow, she was dead wrong. “That was the last of the pain reliever. I’ll head to the store for a few necessities. I can take Casey.”

“Okay. You’re always taking care of me.”

He sat beside her and watched her take the medicine, then lay back. With his hands on either side of her head, he leaned over her. “I like taking care of you.” He lowered himself to kiss her forehead, then her lips. “You’re so beautiful. I probably don’t tell you enough. I don’t say it every time I think it because”—he laughed softly at himself—“because that would be every damn minute, but God, Paige.”

Uncomfortable with his compliments, she averted her eyes. “I feel like roadkill,” she muttered.

“And still so beautiful it hurts.” He pressed another quick kiss to her forehead and left.

He and Casey made quick work at the store, might have gotten a few extras. More than a few. Then they stopped off for a quick swing at a nearby park.

She’d entertained him all morning with stories of talking animals and questions. He enjoyed the quiet, enjoyed being alone, but there was something about listening to what she thought of the world, wracking his brain for answers to her questions, that lifted him.

He walked beside her through the park, fighting the urge to pick her up. She was so far away down there.

“I start kindergarten in thirteen days,” she said, her eyes tracking two boys racing by.

“I know. I saw your countdown on the fridge. Excited?”

She shrugged and he smiled, thinking she was so like Paige. “Do you think I’m going to run fast in kindergarten?”

“Yes.”

“Like the wind?” The boys climbed to the top of the play set.

He took her little hand in his. “Yes.”

They reached the plastic rock wall leading up to the slide entrance and, without hesitating, she started up. “Watch me.”

“Watching.” He fought the urge to hold his hands out and under her, but made sure he was close enough if she needed him.

She didn’t, and he looked on proudly as she stood at the top and fluidly moved to the slide. He moved to meet her at the bottom. The boys jumped from the top, stopping to stare at both of them as Casey stood beside him.

“Whoa. Check it. Her dad doesn’t have two legs either. Weird.”

At the look on Casey’s face, he was tempted to beat the crap out of a ten-year-old. He went to Casey instead. “Want to do the rock wall again?”

“No.”

“How about the monkey bars?”

Casey sniffed. “No.” Her nose was red and she was never this quiet. Damn it. He’d never had to deal with things like that. He’d run and climbed and raced through his childhood without a care in the world. He’d gladly give Casey those years if he could.

He picked her up, swinging her as he went in an attempt to get a smile. “Want some ice cream?” Probably not the best move, but it was all he had.

“Okay.”

As he carried her toward the ice cream truck parked at the curb, he felt her little shoulders shaking against his chest. “Don’t listen to them, Case. Boys are stupid.”

“You’re a boy,” she said brokenly.

“Yep.” And a prime example.

She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. “I don’t want to go to kindergarten.”

“Hey, hey, don’t cry, Case. Look at me. Don’t cry.” She didn’t look at him and he held her while she cried like her heart was breaking. His heart broke with it.

“He said I was weird.”

“If you’re weird, then I’m weird too, right?”

She sniffed again and finally lifted her head. “Because we’re the same.”

“That’s right, Pop-Tart. Because we’re the same.”

“But it’s true. I am missing stuff.”

He stopped walking and waited until her eyes met his. “Listen to me. You’re perfect. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not. Everyone’s missing stuff, even if you can’t always see it. And that kid, he’s the one missing the important stuff.”

“Really?”

He held her tighter. “Would I lie to you?”

She studied him so long he thought she might say yes. “No.”

They got their ice cream and sat side by side, Casey intent on the job at hand. “Better lick it around the bottom. Lick and turn. See?” He demonstrated.

She worked it like a science, seeming to have recovered from her sadness. The knot in his stomach loosened.

When she was down to the last bit of cone, she scooted closer until she was leaning against him. “You always call me things to eat. Cotton candy. Pop-Tart.”

“All good things,” he said, finishing his cone. “All things I like.”

“And you like me?”

“Yes.” He wrapped his arm around her and held her closer. “I like you.”
I love you.

“Jake?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.” He smiled, thinking she’d never asked permission before. “It must be a big one.”

“It is.”

He prepared himself for some kind of birds-and-bees question or something otherwise out of his zone.

She lifted her head from his arm and peered up at him with those summer-sky baby blues. “Do you think…” She paused, glancing at the ground in front of her. “Do you think you could ever want a little girl with one leg?”

The bottom dropped out of his stomach and the world from under his feet. His chest squeezed so tightly he couldn’t get a breath. The answer was he could, he did.

He lifted her onto his lap. “I most definitely could,” he said, cradling her against his chest. “But mostly, more than anything, I’d want a little girl that was you.”

She tilted her head back farther. “But there’s only one of those.”

“That’s right. Only one.”

She leaned against him, seeming to think about that, and so did he.

Only one Casey. Only one Paige. Only one woman who’d ever made him want to change the person he’d always thought he was. The only one who could make him want what he hadn’t wanted and then make him feel good enough about himself to have it.

“You’re smart and you’re beautiful, just like your mother, with your mother’s eyes.”

“Not exactly like Mommy’s.”

He rubbed his hand lightly over her back. “No, not exactly. Your eyes are the color of the sky. Hers are the color of the sea.”

Casey straightened, her bright smile back in place like the sun after a storm. “And yours are the color of dirt! So we make the sky and the water and the land.”

He shook his head and smiled at her, figuring that was the weirdest, sweetest compliment he’d ever received. And perhaps the best way to explain it.

They sat there a long time, her head on his shoulder, the breeze blowing her hair and baby-shampoo smell over his cheek. His arms tightened around her and he felt her sleepy breaths.

Paige was right. He’d run from the idea of a child. At nineteen, he hadn’t actually pictured a little girl or boy who would cry on his shoulder, hold his hand, and look to him for courage and comfort.

He’d always wondered if he would have stepped up and what kind of father he would have been. He still wasn’t at all sure he would have been a good one. But holding Casey here in this park with the scents and sounds of a summer coming to an end, an enormous weight lifted off his soul. He loved Casey and Paige more than himself. He wanted to give them everything, wanted to do what was best for them. And he always would.

By the next morning, Paige felt like a new person. Still a little sore, but it was a wonder what Tylenol and twelve hours of sleep could do. Not to mention the man in the car beside her. They’d been on the road to Jake’s surprise almost thirty minutes. All she’d been told was to pack bathing suits, a change of clothes, and a toothbrush. When she’d tried to protest, she’d been silenced with a kiss.

Paige looked back at Casey, who was content to stare at the new sights out the window. She’d run out of questions five minutes ago.

“So, where are we going?”

Jake glanced over at her. “Somewhere I bet you’ve never been.”

“Well, that’s not hard. I can count on one hand the places I’ve been since I moved here.”

“I think you’ll like it.” He took her hand across the console. “Trust me.”

“I do.” She trusted him more than she’d ever trusted any man in her life. Maybe more than she trusted anyone. And she pushed all her doubts and fears into the background.

With Jake in charge, she relaxed, even let herself be filled with a giddy excitement for the adventure. Not the scary kind with life-altering unknowns at the end. This one could only end well because she was with Jake. The ocean came in and out of view as they traveled up the great highway.

“You’re not being nearly annoying enough,” Jake said with a grin. “I haven’t heard a single ‘Are we there yet?’ ”

“I can’t believe you remembered that. I can try harder if you want.” Paige smiled at him, so hot and in charge behind the wheel. In charge of her day, and other deeper things that were too scary to admit.

A new song came on his satellite classic station and he turned it up. “Ahh. I did a lot of laps around the skating rink to this song.”

“Skating rink?”

“Sure. What?”

She stared over at him, six four, roped with muscle, all man. “Just trying to picture you there.”

“I was an excellent skater. Push-cart races, shoot the duck, Pac Man. You didn’t skate?”

“No. And I should have known it was the competition.”

“And that’s where the girls were,” he added with a wink.

“I want to skate,” Casey said, pulling her attention from the window.

Jake smiled into the rearview mirror. “Sure thing, Little Bit.”

And there he went again with his yeses. Quick and easy. Her first instinct was always maybe or we’ll see, working out in her mind how far away it was, when she’d have the time off, and how much it would cost. Besides the questions of how it would lace up around her prosthesis. But not Jake. He just said yes.

Jake sent her a thoughtful look. “What?”

“You’re good with her,” she said softly, thinking it was more than that, that maybe it could be more than that.

A classic Elton John duet came on the radio and she turned up the volume.

They both knew the words and Jake surprised her with his dramatic facial expressions as he sang his part. She sang hers too, through her laughter, and Casey caught on quickly to the “Don’t go breaking my heart” part of the chorus. Soon they were an overly loud trio, butchering the lyrics of a classic.

“Sing it, Jake!” Casey yelled from the back like she was running a party.

They didn’t speak for a while after that, didn’t need to. More classics came on the radio and they sang along or just listened. And with her hand in his, they sped along Highway One, windows down, hair blowing, and the smell of the sea in the air.

An hour later, Jake parked in an open area at the top of a steep ravine. She’d seen the ocean, stretching blue and endless from the car, but now she could feel it. The enormity and movement of it pulled her gaze left and right as the power of it pounded in her chest. The white foam contrasted with the vivid blue where it crashed against half-submerged boulders. “It’s beautiful.”

Jake wrapped his arms around her from behind. “Something on your to-do list.”

Casey stood in front of her, for once speechless. Paige’s heart expanded as she imagined the picture they made and then even more when Jake pressed his lips to the top of her head.

“Come on. It gets better.”

The trail down was narrow and barely visible through the thick vegetation. Jake carefully picked his way down the steep path made uneven with rocks and small plants and shrubs. But even with his prosthesis, he was more sure-footed than she was in thin-soled sandals. He carried the backpack with food on his back and a blanket under one arm.

She also had a blanket under her arm. Might be more useful tied under her butt. She considered taking her sandals off, but the ground was covered in prickly-looking things. Casey walked a few steps in front of her. “Do you want me to carry you, Case?”

“No. I can do it.”

Of course she could. If Jake could do it, she could do it.

He held his hand out to steady her. “Almost there.”

“You’ve been here before?”

“A few times.”

She was hit with a sudden pang of jealousy and it must have shown.

“Always by myself,” he said, and her possessive heart warmed.

The trail was even thicker the last few steps, but then her feet reached the sand and she froze. The crashing waves were louder here at the bottom and the cool mist blew strongly on the wind.

Jake took a towel out of the bag and changed into a new prosthesis he’d already explained was designed specifically for water. Casey didn’t have one of these yet, but he assured her it was okay to wear the one she did have into the ocean. Within minutes the three of them ran into the frothy tide, one on either side of Casey, holding her hands.

JT smiled, listening to the girls laugh and squeal as they ran in and out of the chilly surf. But then everything about Paige and Casey made him smile. He didn’t remember seeing the ocean for the first time, but he’d always remember this. The joy on their faces, their eyes light with excitement.

The water was too cold for them to swim. Water temperature in the mid-sixties was a long way from the low eighties of Virginia Beach where he’d spent his summer days as a child. They gathered sticks and other items washed onshore and went to work on a sand castle. When Casey flicked sand in her eyes, he went back to the bag for a towel.

As he walked toward them, Paige glanced over her shoulder at him, just a simple turn of her head, and time stopped. It was a swift, hard punch to his chest, realizing how much he loved her. Both of them. They filled a hole in him that he’d made himself, or maybe he’d always had it. But he felt fixed, healed, a better version of himself than he’d ever been.

She gave him a curious look, then left her sand castle and came to him. Her arms circled his waist and she looked up at him, her chin on his chest. “What is it?”

“Nothing. Having fun?”

“So much fun.” She smiled. “I think Casey might take a nap, and then I could have even more fun.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively, or tried to, and he laughed.

“I’m all for more fun.”

They finished their castle, a haphazard structure that ended up covered in dirt and rocks. After a quick dip to rinse off the sand, he coaxed Casey into lying down on her quilt. Now that she’d finally stopped moving, there was a lot of yawning going on. He pointed out the moon, faint in the late-afternoon sky, and told her a constellation story, guessing at the facts and completely making up the rest. She was asleep in minutes.

“Hey,” Paige called softly. “You asleep over there?”

He rolled to face her where she lay a few feet away on the other quilt. “Nope.” He stood, pulled Casey’s quilt into the shade, then made his way to Paige.

She smiled up at him, looking all sun-kissed and tousled and beautiful. Her blond hair was messy and tangled from the wind. Her cheeks had a glow he’d never seen before, and her eyes were clearer. He wanted to keep her here always. “You need me to help you fall asleep too?” he asked, lying down beside her.

“No. But I could use your attention.” Her teasing, seductive tone reminded him of the night he had planned. He’d only had three nights with her so far. None of them long enough.

He lay down, took off his prosthesis, and faced her. The wind played in the foliage on the mountain behind them while the surf crashed rhythmically at their feet. His gaze fell to the curve of her breast, almost covered by her bathing suit top, but not quite. He slid his hands slowly up and over her hip, carefully caressing the bruise there. “How do you feel?”

“Mmm. Perfect,” she muttered. “I love the ocean.”

“I knew you would.” And he was glad he’d been the one to bring her, to give them both this day. He wanted to give them everything.

“How could anyone not love it?” Her eyes fell slowly closed. “How could anyone stay awake near it?” Stopping just below her bathing suit top, he repeated the motion.

“Oh really? Having a hard time, are you?” He let his hand travel all the way this time, and her laugh was cut off when he brushed his thumb over her nipple. Moving to her shoulder, he slipped a finger under the strap, slid it down, and followed with his lips.

“You just close your eyes then. Take a little nap.” He shot a quick glance over to Casey to make sure there were no little eyes on him. Paige looked over too, and they shared a smile at her sleeping face, mouth open with little puffs of breath. Yeah, she was definitely asleep and he wasted no time pressing a slow, tender kiss to Paige’s mouth.

“I love your eyes, your lips. I can’t even think when I’m near these lips.” He nibbled at the edges and let his hand slide down to cup her breast.

With his body blocking Casey’s view, he sucked on her nipple through her suit. He played with her slowly, paying attention to her breathing and what she liked. He’d store that information away for later. “Are you asleep yet?”

“Not quite.” They lay like that for a long time after, her head on his chest, the sound of the waves in the background. He ran his fingers through her hair, letting his hand drift around until it cupped the back of her head.

She rose up to look at him. “Thanks for bringing me here.”

“You’re welcome.” He brushed a piece of hair back from her face. She didn’t have any makeup on, but she didn’t need any. He’d never get tired of lying beside her, looking at her face. “So beautiful.”

She dipped her chin, embarrassed by his words. It only made him want to tell her more often.

“Are you trying to make me believe in rainbows and fairy tales?”

“Maybe.” He flipped their positions. “Or maybe I’m a troll.”

She cupped his face in her hands and lifted her head to kiss him. “You don’t look like a troll, and for a big tough guy, you’re pretty romantic.”

“Nah. It’s you.” He stared down at her, losing himself in her blue eyes and not minding one bit. “No one else has ever made me want to lie on a beach and have a picnic or sing in the car.” Or smile and laugh and jump over waves. Or be a father and a husband.

“Me either,” she whispered and pulled him down for another long kiss.

“Ready to pack it up?”

“No, but I guess it’s time.”

He pressed a last kiss to her lips and sat up. “Don’t sound so disappointed. The best part of this show is still to come.” They were going to drive a little ways farther and stay at a B and B. A suite with their own room.