Wrecked (The Blackened Window) (32 page)

I smiled wide at Jason. Christy was gonna say yes. The ring would be perfect. The wedding would be perfect. They would both be happy. I couldn’t want anything more for them, but I wanted more of Leda for me. I wanted to mark her, make a claim on her.

“It’s perfect, man.”

Jason looked up at me, genuine peace and happiness on his face, and I envied him.

“I think I might get Leda something, too.”

He cocked a questioning eyebrow at me as I turned back to Tori, who seemed to have recovered her calm. I smiled to myself about how fun fucking with chicks could be.

“Tori? I need your help.”

She looked up at me in surprise. “I doubt that very much, Mr.…?”

“Xander Stone.” I extended my hand to her. She blushed cute and shook my hand. We sat back on the couch and I explained what I wanted to her. “Is that possible?”

“Of course, Mr. Stone.”

“Xander. You should call me Xander.” My voice was a heated purr, low enough not to carry across the room to Jason’s judgmental ears.

“Very good.” She paused. “Xander.” She hooked that same errant strand of hair behind her ear again.

“When can you have it for me?” I loved fucking with girls so much, there was something so fun about making someone so slightly uncomfortable.

“It can be ready in one week.”

“Oh…” I let my features fall into a semblance of dismay. “That won’t work. I’ll be in DC.”

“Umm, I can see about rushing it?”

I put my hand on hers to calm her, saying, “I don’t want to rush this. I want it to be perfect. So, let’s do this. Why don’t you ship it to me in DC?”

“Very good, sir.”

The rush at that was so nice. I clearly needed to play some more. “Thank you for your help, Tori.”

Back on the street, walking to the car, Jason punched my arm. “What the fuck was that about?”

“What?” I asked innocently, with a devil smile on my face, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

“What? That
shameless
flirting. What about Leda?”

“Are
you
fucking lecturing me about monogamy right now?” I laughed and he joined me.

“Dude, you just looked like you do when you play. That didn’t look like a little innocent fun to me.”

I took a deep breath, acknowledging what he was saying. “This is another problem with Leda. Since I started playing with her, it’s like it’s all I think about. And that little chickie was shameless. You know they sell triskelion pendants there? And she knew what they meant.”

“Yeah, that place is a favorite of Kyla’s.”

* * * *

When finals were over, the relief on my girl was palpable. She needed to burn off some of that anxious energy, but first, some rest and recovery. We stayed at my place Friday night, watched a bunch of silly movies, ate Chinese food from Mr. Chen downstairs. We laid across the couch together, her chest on my abdomen, her head resting on my chest while we watched our movies.

We slept late, but did wake in time for my session with my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu instructor, Guillermo. Jason skipped it and the class was canceled due to the proximity to the holiday, so it was a one-on-one session. I was more focused than I had been recently and Guillermo took advantage of that, working me over, pushing me hard. I came up bloody and bruised. I was getting frustrated with repeatedly getting schooled when Guillermo called me out on it.

He nodded in Leda’s direction, saying, “You are worrying your girl. Settle down.”

“Yep. I’m good.” I looked at Leda and she did looked concerned. The thought that someone like her could care about someone like me, could absorb and want everything I gave her—nothing could seem too bad. I felt the tension drop off my shoulders and smiled at her, waving her over. I thanked Guillermo and we left.

I wanted to take her back to the Window again before we left for break and broached the subject. She agreed easily enough. When I brought up calling Seraphim to see if she and her toy wanted to play again, she seemed less sure. I explained, “I want to try something a little different this time. I want you to play, too.”

The shock on her face was priceless. It was quickly replaced by rapid-fire misgivings. “Uhh…I don’t know, Xander.”

Reassurance now. Consent now. Negotiate now. So later is easier for her.
“I’m not saying I want to torture you. I just want you more involved. Not just watching.”

It didn’t reassure her. I felt the mantle of domination settle over me as I pulled onto a random side street and parked. We turned to face each other and she opened her mouth to say something, but I didn’t want to hear it and put my fingers on her lips, shushing her. My voice came cold, direct. “Let me rephrase, little girl. I will pick you up at eight. Period.”

She tried to speak despite my fingers still on her mouth. “Xander.” It came out all muffled, questioning, nervous and it made me want to fuck her throat. My lips pressed into a line and I covered her mouth completely with my hand.

“Leda. This is how it is. You always have an out with your safewords. Don’t worry about tonight. It’ll be a different kind of session. Let’s see how it goes.”

Her eyes widened, pupils dilating a little. I felt her hot breath against my hand, faster, harder. She nodded and I let go. I was silent for the rest of the drive, waiting to see if she’d push back. When we got to her building and she was quietly smiling next to me, I took a moment to pause, enjoy it, thinking
good girl.

I walked her into her building and I think she thought I was going to just leave.
Fuck, no, girlie.
I followed, crowding her, letting her know I’d take anything of hers whenever I wanted it, including her personal space. She looked askance at me, but I didn’t flinch, only kept driving her forward.

As her apartment door clicked shut behind me, I yanked her back to me by her arm, dropping my mouth to hers and pressing a hard kiss. I grabbed at the back of her neck, the back of her head. She yielded as she always did and I guided her down to her knees, pressuring her shoulders.

She just fucking did it—dropped to her knees in front of me, big eyes looking up at me and waiting. I leaned away from her, resting against the door, and pulled my cock out. I stroked myself hard just looking at her and thinking about all the fucked up shit I wanted to do to her.

“Open your mouth.”

She dropped her jaw, holding my gaze. I slipped my dick in her mouth, not caring that I had just worked out and I was sweaty as fuck. She needed to understand that at a very basic level, sometimes I wanted to use her, without regard for her pleasure. She started sucking, sliding her lips across me.
No, no, no, girlie. How
I
want it.
I tangled my fingers in her hair and stilled her motion. I paused long enough that she looked up toward me, and, as she did, as I held her gaze again, I pushed my cock into her mouth, to her throat. I paused when I felt the muscles of her throat convulse with her gag reflex.

As she breathed thin, raspy breaths through her nose, I turned her head with the hand in her hair, pushing the head of my cock against the roof of her mouth, her cheeks, down on her tongue. “I want you to feel all of it, Leda. Your mouth is mine.”

Her eyes held acceptance, acquiescence. I slowly drove my cock back deep in her mouth, to her throat and she gagged a little, but I didn’t stop. I loved the look of her eyes watering while she had a mouthful of my cock I was in her throat, past her gag. “Your throat is mine. Do you understand me?”

I waited until she nodded, and when she did, I face-fucked her, not needing much more to come. She couldn’t hold it all in and she drooled a little on her chin. I was breathing hard, but it made me smile. I swiped my finger through the mess on her chin, smearing it over her face. My face split in a cold smile and I took my cock out of her mouth, wiping off on her face, in her hair.

And left. Left her there, on her knees, my fluids drying on her face and in her hair. Left her there like a degraded little whore. I smiled as I walked back to the car, tying my gi pants back up.
Let her chew on that all day.
In the car, I sent her a text. No apology, no explanation. Just more instructions, more I-own-you shit.

8. Be ready. Don’t make yourself come before then.—X

Ok Boss. Please don’t tell me I can’t come all night though. Pretty please—L

Just
Ok, Boss?
She’s amazing. She’s perfect.
My thoughts spiraled in this twisted amalgam of lust, love, want, control, evil, menace and purest pleasure at her existence reverberating with the fear that’d it’d all go sideways soon. The drive home was fast and I thought of how I wanted to respond to her. I thought about how much she would really suffer with orgasm denial, orgasm control. Forced orgasms would be amazing.

I texted her back, trying to keep the balance between evil and loving.

Maybe, if you’re good, I’ll let you come. Later. Much later. See you at 8—X

I knew I’d let her come. Her face, the hitch in her breathing, the moan in her voice. All that was addictive. I wasn’t planning on giving that up, but it was about pushing her. We’d be apart for a week and a half and I wanted her to know, as much as she could, that she belonged to me and that I was mean sometimes.

I took a quick shower and spent some time packing, finalizing plans for the trip, including meeting with June and Michael. But in the end, I was bored and called Jason. Christy answered.

“Hey, slut.” Her voice was a little flat. I couldn’t tell if it was a joke.

“Umm, hi, asshole. What are we doing?”

She giggled a little. “I can’t stay mad at you.”

“Why were you mad at me?” I was baffled by the entire exchange.

“Jason told me about you hitting on that girl. Dude, what about Leda?”

This was fucked up, because I knew he didn’t tell her the circumstances that brought us to the jeweler. I voiced the other thing that bothered me about it, “Are you calling me out on something related to
monogamy?
”

She laughed again. “Kinda. You and Leda aren’t me and Jason. The only question you need to answer is ‘would she have been bothered by your behavior’?”

“If I let that question rule me, I’ll go crazy.”

“Just come over. I’ll try to explain it.”

I drove to their house, confusion rushing through my thoughts. When I got there, they were in the great room, like it was an intervention. I walked in with the same trepidation everyone who ever walked into an intervention probably felt. I sat in an oversized arm chair, across from the two of them on the couch.

“So…” Christy started, but I cut her off.

“Is this an intervention?” I laughed. “Because, if so, I need a drink.”

They laughed too and some of the tension broke away.

Once we were settled, Jason spoke, his voice uncharacteristically adult and calm. “I’m worried that you aren’t in control of yourself. This is different from the domination shit. I don’t know what it is, but it looks a lot like when you were with Stacy.”

I sucked in a breath. “It’s different, man. It just is. Stacy was ten years ago. I was a kid and didn’t know what the fuck I wanted.”

Christy interrupted me. “You were just about the same age as Leda.” She left it at that, not drawing further comparisons and letting me decide what to make of it.

“Seriously, dude, what was that about with the girl at the jeweler?”

I looked at him in surprise that he would bring it up in front of Christy, but he continued, “I mean, we were there to get a necklace for
your girlfriend.
And you start flirting with that chick. That’s not you.”

“How do you even know? I’ve never had a relationship like this, barely had relationships at all. Maybe this is me as a boyfriend. Maybe I’m a huge dick. Maybe I can’t be monogamous. Can’t be faithful. Why do the two of you care so much about this?” There was frustration mounting to venom in my words.

Christy pressed her hand over Jason’s when he was going to explode back at me. She spoke instead, “Xander, we love you. And you love her. You will fall apart if you fuck this up. We’ll love you no matter what happens with Leda, but we don’t want you to have to go through that if you can avoid it.”

I couldn’t argue with that. I would be a fucking mess if I lost her over something stupid like that. “I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I have to push it. I won’t go too far.”

“Whose definition of too far, Xander?” Christy interrupted softly.

I continued, “I won’t go too far, but I have to be right there. I can’t be restrained like you’re talking about. I didn’t touch that girl, just talked to her, just fucked with her head some, but the truth is, it wasn’t as fun as I expected it to be.” I hung my head. “See, I’m a fucking monster.” I stood up, pacing a bit, then walked to the wet bar and poured another drink.

They sat silently. Finally, Jason spoke, saying, “What kind of monster do you want to be?”

Christy and I both looked at him with confusion-laced shock on our faces. Jason added, “If you fucking believe that about yourself, and we can’t convince you otherwise, fucking do it intentionally. Decide what you want to do, who you want to be. But you have to talk to Leda. Consent, Xander. She hasn’t consented to a poly life, hasn’t consented to you fucking other girls, or even picking them up.”

He was right. I could try to fool myself, but in another life, I would have taken that girl home from the jewelry store and fucked her senseless. There were D/s relationships like that, where the D-type person could fuck other people.
What would Leda think about that?
I thought of her on her knees in front of me, following orders without complaint.
She might be all right with it.
And a huge realization hit me, that she wasn’t a challenge anymore.

I spoke the thought. “She just makes it so easy. I don’t have to work at all. She just submits, gives it up.”

Both of them looked confused, but Christy spoke, “Isn’t that what you want?”

“I don’t know. I don’t believe it, don’t believe it’s real. She’s not a challenge and…” I trailed off, not sure what I wanted to say. “I don’t want to be with anyone else. I just don’t know what to do with myself when it works. And that chick was just supposed to be mental masturbation.”