Read Xone Of Contention Online
Authors: Piers Anthony
Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult
“We know.” Pia snapped. She tended to get snappish when encountering women with fuller bosoms than hers.
Grey and Robota followed the one way path on to the Gorgon's island. “What are they up to?” Pia asked. “That creature's dangerous.”
“I believe he wants to persuade the Gorgon not to turn every man to stone.” Tristan said. “But this is chancy, because the Gorgon significantly affects Xanth history, especially after she encounters Magician Humfrey, and this must not be changed.”
“Grey knows that.” Breanna said. “He lives at the Good Magician's castle. He knows the Gorgon personally.”
“Then she'll recognize him!” Breanna protested.
“No. dear,” Justin said. “She does not know him at this time. Later she may remember him, but that's much closer to the present, and shouldn't have much effect. Still, I confess I am not at ease about this encounter.”
“Ssst!” Pia said. “The golem's on it.”
“Is this wise?” Robota asked as they walked. “The Gorgon will marry the Good Magician, after he makes her deadly face invisible.”
“I won't interfere with that, of course,” he said. “I merely want to unstone some of the men from the Magic Dust Village, so they can return there to work and comfort their women.”
“The Siren's song will just lure them away again.”
“True. But at least they will have some time with their families, making things better without changing history significantly.”
“I think you're risking paradox.” Robota said.
“No I think it will be all right.”
“In fact, I think you have been foolishly smitten by the lovely innocence of the Siren, and want to see the Gorgon in her teenage youth.”
“What makes you think that?”
“I am objective as only a machine can be, and female besides. Turn aside. Grey.”
“I think she's right.” Pia said. “He is after all a man. There's only so much bare female flesh they can handle before their foolish minds overload.”
The others looked at Edsel. “I fear she's right too.” he said. “That siren is one luscious creature, and she has made it plain she wants a man to love. Grey has lost his objectivity.”
“Do we have to send in help?” Tristan asked nervously.
“Not yet.” Edsel decided. “It hasn't happened yet. Maybe he'll come to his senses before he does something really stupid.”
But Grey demurred, forging onward. He seemed to be beyond reason. Edsel winced, watching it. Men were foolish about women This was the danger they hadn't anticipated.
“Remember.” Robota said, perhaps resigned to likely disaster. “Sight of the Gorgon's mere face turns men to stone. All stone, not just one little part of them the way the sight of other women does ” She hugged his head, pressing her bosom against the side of his face
“She's trying to distract him.” Pia said “And for once I agree. If she seduces him. there won't be a change in history.”
“I’ll be careful," Grey said carelessly.
They passed through a region of the lake where tall trees grew up through the water, forming a natural screen They rounded a turn, and something moved Grey instantly exerted his talent—and accidentally nullified the path across the water. He fell in with a splash. Robota laughed, clutching on to his hair. “Serves you right.” she said. “Maybe this will shock you into some common sense.”
“You're right,” Grey said, treading water in a more conventional man “I've got no business meeting the Gorgon. What was I thinking of?” He was swimming now. perforce
“Maybe this.” Robota said, pressing her bosom against his ear again. “Or this.” She spread her knees. “Swim to shore, and we'll get out of here.”
“Right.” He swam to the nearest shore.
A hand reached down to help him climb out and up the steep bank. He looked at his rescuer—and turned to stone.
Pia screamed. Edsel fell off his chair. Grey had been caught by surprise, not thinking to nullify any more magic, and had accidentally gazed at the face of the Gorgon. The ultimate disaster had happened.
After a moment, Pia recovered enough to help Edsel gasp out the nature of the catastrophe.
“Grey—stoned?” Tristan repeated, stunned. “We never anticipated this.”
“For sure,” Breanna said, not smiling. She looked as white as her brown face could get. “We were so concerned about him changing history, we never thought of how history could change him. What'll we tell Ivy? She'll be Poison Ivy when she hears about this, even when it's not the time of the month.”
“Women in Xanth have times of the month?” Pia asked. “I thought—I mean, with the stork and all—”
Breanna glanced to make sure no males were close enough to hear. “Between storks, they can get out of sorts, about once a month.” she said. “Men don't know. But what I really meant was—”
“I know. This is awful. She loves Grey.”
DO NOT PANIC, Com Pewter's screen printed. STONING IS NOT PERMANENT.
“It isn't?” Pia asked, foolish hope flaring.
“All the stoned men recovered in the subsequent Time of No Magic,” Justin said.
“That's a relief,” Edsel said, looking more than relieved. “I thought he was dead.”
“I will have to go to rescue him,” Tristan said with grim determination. “When I get him out of Xanth, the magic will relent, and he will be restored. He is not dead, merely enchanted.”
Pia grabbed on to something. “What's this time of no magic?”
“It occurred about a year later.” Justin said. “When Bink mistakenly freed the Demon X(A/N)th and the Demon departed, taking his magic with him.”
“But the Demon XA/N)th is still here.” Pia protested. “In the form of—”
“It was temporary,” Justin said. “The Demon returned after about a day, and the magic was restored. But the stoned men remained whole; the Gorgon's spell had been interrupted, and could not restore itself. It was an incidental benefit of a very awkward period.”
“Then—” Pia said, working it out. “Then all they have to do is wait for that, and Grey will be all right.”
The others circulated a surprised glance. SHE IS CORRECT, Pewter's screen printed. NO RESCUE MISSION IS NECESSARY AT THIS TIME.
Tristan looked twice as relieved as Edsel had been. It was clear that he did not want to travel into the past, and risk disturbing history himself. Yet he had been ready to. The troll had courage.
“Quick, fast-forward,” Breanna suggested. “See if they work it out themselves.”
“No!” Justin said. “Resume at exactly that time, to see how Robota reacts. That may be important.”
“Yes!” Pia shut her eyes and tuned in. It was obvious that Edsel couldn't, for now.
“Hello.” Robota said.
The Gorgon stared at her. “Oh—I thought you were a man.”
“Not exactly,“ Robota said. ”I was climbing on this statue of a man; maybe you confused us."
“That must have been the case. I thought I saw a swimming man.”
“Our eyes do sometimes deceive us,” Robota said. “Is there another path away from here?”
“Yes, that way.” The Gorgon pointed.
Robota took the path and made her way back toward the Magic Dust Village. “She shows no regret at Grey's fate,” Pia reported. “She's just going about her business.”
“She's a golem, without a soul.” Tristan reminded her. “She can emulate caring, but can't actually experience it. Since she is alone, she must see no reason to emulate it.'”
Robota reached the village. “He got stoned.”
“I don't understand.” Trolla said.
“He made a mistake, and will not be returning. So I have come to join your community.”
“You are welcome,” Trolla said. “Provided you are willing to work hard.”
“Yes”
So Robota settled in, in her natural golem form, and helped the villagers disperse the magic dust. She worked hard, and soon was accepted by the others. She did them favors when she could, and became increasingly decent as she studied the others to learn the ways of it.
Pia opened her eyes. “What I don't get is why Grey went so crazy, there toward the end. I mean, I thought he was a pretty level-headed married man.”
“He is.” Justin said. “But the Siren's song—actually it's her dulcimer that carries the magic—is among the more remarkable lures of Xanth. Grey surely underestimated its power to affect him.”
“And perhaps rationalized to believe that he remained in control.” Tristan said. “Men do that.”
“For sure!” Breanna agreed. “The biggest part of the Adult Conspiracy is that women are the true rulers of Xanth ”
“That song was pretty alluring,” Edsel said. “If I'd been in control. I'd have gone to her right away. But that wasn't all. When she made legs, they were really something.”
“Oh?” Pia inquired, mildly annoyed. “I've got legs” She hoisted her skirt to better display them.
“And those bare breasts,” Edsel continued.
Pia was moderately annoyed. “I have breasts.” She pulled her blouse tight.
“And that touching sweet innocence.”
Pia was silent, and really annoyed.
Breanna stepped in. “Well, we girls have sweet innocence, until we gel corrupted by men.”
“Indubitably,” Justin agreed. Pia smiled to herself: it was clear that he was the relatively innocent one in that relationship
“Had we known that they would encounter the Siren, we would have prepared them better,” Tristan said. “But that was not on the schedule. Obviously the Siren did affect Grey somewhat, enough to distort his judgment. Robota tried to dissuade him. but males in that state can be difficult to dissuade.”
“Like alcohol,” Edsel said. “The one person in the group who thinks he hasn't taken too much is the drunk.”
“Let's hope that Robota does the right thing,” Tristan said. To that they all agreed, as Pia closed her eyes and fast-forwarded
A year passed. Then five travelers came, searching for the source of magic. There was the Good Magician Humfrey. looking the same as always. There was his son Crombie. in the form of a griffin. There was Chester, a powerful centaur. There was Bink, who was Ivy's grandfather. And there was Grundy Golem, not yet made real.
The villagers welcomed them with open arms, wings, and whatever else offered. Nymphs, sprites, and buxom human maids surrounded Bink. Fairies, elves, gnomes and minonettes mobbed Humfrey. Centaur fillies rubbed shoulders with Chester. Two griffin cows attended Crombie Griffin. And Robota went after Grundy Golem
“But isn't he married to Rapunzel?” Pia asked, disturbed.
“Not at this time.” Justin said. “Rapunzel is locked in an ivory tower on the Gold Coast, I believe; it will be several years before Grundy rescues her. He is at this stage without marital encumbrance.”
“Without what?” Breanna inquired dangerously
“A figure of speech,” Justin said hastily.
“I know what it means. You think marriage is an encumbrance?”
“I did not mean to imply that. I merely—”
“Robota is having a ball.” Pia reported. “She kissing Grundy, and he's kissing her back.”
“They are the only two golems in Xanth. I think,” Tristan said. “So they may be entitled to celebrate.”
“They certainly are celebrating.” Pia said. “You're right: she does have a place, and she's getting pretty soft.”
“Oh. phooey.” Breanna said. “I can't keep my mad while they're doing that. Come here Justin.”
Pia noted the girl's ways with a certain professionalism. If she hadn't succeeded in seducing her man yet, she was bound to accomplish it soon. It made Pia more interested in doing something with Edsel, for all that there was by now little novelty in it. But now was not the time. Not when there was a better show on.
Pia watched the activity of the golems with some interest. Robota had evidently done some thinking on the matter, and was straightforward in her approach. She continuously complimented Grundy, and showed him flesh, which she crafted to be extremely well proportioned, and she eagerly acceded to his every notion. Yet it seemed that he was using her too, because he had no more soul than she did. The result was a rather uninhibited session that surely would have alerted any golem storks in the vicinity
Then the Siren's song came again. All the males perked up, listening.
“It is the Siren!” a fairy screamed.
The women sang, trying to drown out the summoning sound, knowing the effect it had on males. But it was not to be denied. The males drew away and headed for the sound. They passed right by the tangle tree, which let them be. Until Crombie Griffin, who was then a woman hater, balked and pecked at the tree. That led to an amazing encounter.
“They are fighting the tangle tree,” Pia reported. “Magician Humfrey is using his magic against it. And the Village women have gotten courage and are coming with torches. Robota is among them. Oh, this is a Grade A fracas!”
“A tragedy.” Justin said. “That poor tree.”
The tangler was a fearsome opponent, but the combined force of men, women, and magic was too much for it, and it was destroyed. But the Siren's song sounded again, and the men resumed their march toward it, to the women's great disappointment.
“What happens to them?” Pia asked, her curiosity aroused. “I can't tell, because Robota remains with the Village."
“This is known to history,” Justin said. “They passed the battering ram. and the pineapple tree. Then—" He paused.
“What happened?” Edsel asked
Justin resumed, reluctantly. “Chester shot the Siren. Through the heart.”
“But she was no threat to them,” Pia protested
“The Good Magician had healing elixir,” Tristan said.
“Yes.” Justin said. “As it turned out. the men concluded that the Siren was not a menace to them, after they destroyed her magic dulcimer. They gave her elixir, restoring her, and spent the night there. Then they went on to see the Gorgon. The Good Magician was able to handle her by making her face invisible. They liked each other. Right from the first.”
“He had great power of magic, and she had great power of beauty,” Tristan said. “That is a feasible combination.”
“Thereafter, they—” Justin resumed.
“Oh, I see.” Pia said, closing her eyes and fast-forwardmg. “They returned to the Magic Dust Village.”
But though the Villagers welcomed the men, they did not stay. They accepted a local guide, and pushed on into the Region of Madness. Robota remained at the Village. After further adventures, summarized by Justin, the men reached the Demon X(A/N)th. Then—
“Robota's finally moving.” Pia reported. ”She's following the trail to the Siren and Gorgon, though both of them have lost their powers."
“She anticipates the Time of No Magic,” Tristan said. “Now if she just does the right thing—” Robota made her way to the Gorgon, who had not yet made up her mind what to do.. “Things are going to become very strange,” Robota told the Gorgon. “For a day there will be no magic. Then there will be magic again, and your power will be restored. Your face will be visible again, and as time passes you will be able to stone women and plants as well as men.”
“But I don't want to stone anyone,” the Gorgon protested, shedding invisible tears. “Once the Good Magician made me understand what I was doing, I was appalled.”
“Then you must go to Mundania, where you will have no magic power,” Robota said.
“Mundania!” the Gorgon repeated, horrified.
“It's the only way. Maybe we can guide you there. When the magic returns.”
“I don't know,” the Gorgon said. “Everything I know is here.”
“What do you have here? You can't interact with any man, and the women are not likely to be friendly. Go to Mundania where you can live in peace, until you decide what else to do with your life.”
“I suppose so.” the Gorgon agreed doubtfully. “But I already know what I want to do with my life. I want to marry Magician Humfrey.”
“Then go to Mundania, mature some, figure things out. and return when you're ready.”
“I shall.” the Gorgon agreed with sudden decision.
“When the magic stops, all these statues will return to life,” Robota said “And I will lose much of mine. I am stuffed with magic dust, so I will retain some animation, but I'll need Grey Murphy. So I will join him now.”
She found Grey's statue, and climbed up to perch on its shoulder. She waited
Pia fast-forwarded. Suddenly the scene changed. “It's become a blur!” she said.
“That must be the Time of No Magic.” Tristan said. “It came suddenly and even the magic dust lost most of its potency, when the Demon X(A/N)th left the area entirely. So Robota may be worse off than she was in Mundunia.”
“She is.” Pia said. “But she's hanging on ”
Grey Murphy recovered. He found himself at the edge of the lake, his legs still in water. “But I can't connect.” Edsel said.
“Because there is no magic.” Tristan said. “We are dependent on Robota's limited awareness.”
Robota clung weakly to Grey's head. “Time No Magic!” she gasped without breath. “Help me. Gorgon!” She collapsed.
"I was stoned!” Grey exclaimed, catching on. He put Robota in his pocket, where she was able to peek dimly out. Mostly, she just listened.
Men were milling around the other restored statues. Fortunately they didn't know what had happened to them, or they would have gone after the Gorgon with mayhem in mind. She was nevertheless frightened of them.
Grey put his arm around her. “Come with me. We need to get somewhere else.”
“Out of Xanth.” Robota said faintly.
“Too long a trip.” Grey murmured to her. “Too dangerous. There will be crazed beasts all around.”
“Then find somewhere safe,” she said.
He pondered. “Maybe I can reach Com-Pewter's cave. That's sale.”
“But—Paradox,” she said.
“I don't think so. I don't exist in this time, and Pewter can keep a secret.”
Robota evidently lacked the strength to protest further. She just watched from the pocket.
Grey and the Gorgon forged through the jungle. Everywhere, trees were drooping, and animals were suffering. They had never before experienced the absence of magic. Grey would not be able to stop them by nullifying their magic, but they were too distracted to be a menace to him, other than accidentally.
Pia fast-forwarded until they reached the cave. Pewter was inert; he could not animate without magic. Grey and the Gorgon, having walked most of a night and day, lay down on the floor of the cave and slept. It was cold, and they had no blanket, so they held each other for warmth.