Xone Of Contention (32 page)

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Authors: Piers Anthony

Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult

BOOK: Xone Of Contention
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“Monica, find that locket.” Justin said urgently to the child.

“That way,” Monica said, pointing to a nearby tiny island.

The boat veered. But another shape appeared, and it wasn't the locket.

“Oh, no.” Justin breathed.

“What is it, dear?” Breanna asked.

“It's a morph.”

“Morph,” Edsel said. “As in morphine, a pain killer, or morphing, changing form?”

“Both,” Justin said with impending dread.

“But those are two different things.” Pia protested. “One's a shot, the other's a movie and ad gimmick.”

“Both.” Justin repeated weakly. “It's an injection that causes folk to change shape involuntarily. I've seen it attack animals and ruin their lives. They get addicted to change, but can't handle the new forms. It's going to get me. and make me change back into a tree, or worse, right when I want so much to remain as I am.”

“Now I feel your pain,” Breanna said. “I don't want you to change.”

“Changing forms is fun.” Monica said innocently.

“But it's only an emotional thing, isn't it?” Pia asked “Not really physical?”

“An emotional tree could not embrace Breanna.” Justin said, his eves locked on the approaching hypodermic shape.

“We have to get rid of it, for sure,” Breanna said.

But meanwhile Edsel had spotted something else. “Book shape at nine o'clock.” he said.

Pia looked—and froze. “That's the awful cook book.”

“What's scary about a cook book?” he asked. “You never cook anyway.”

“That's why I never cook,” she said tightly. “It burns me.”

An errant glance bounced around the boat. “A cook book burns you?” Breanna asked after one and a half moments.

“It's another experience from childhood,” Pia explained, unable to look away from the horrible book as it nudged closet. “My mother was cooking in our apartment, on a hotplate, and she had a cook book out. I saw the hotplate and asked what it was, but she thought I meant the book, and said 'It's a cook book.' So I tried to pick it up—”

“And you burned your hand,” Edsel said.

“Now I understand.” Breanna said. “That book out there is steaming hot. You could cook on it.”

“For sure.” Pia agreed faintly. “I'm terrified of cook books. I know it's stupid, but I can't touch one of those things.”

“And that morph better not touch Justin.” Breanna said. “It's our turn to maneuver, Edsel.”

“For sure.” he agreed.

Now the two of them focused on their partners, reversing the prior case. “Justin. call in that morph,” Breanna said.

“It's going to stick me!”

“Pia. call that cook book,” Edsel said.

“It'll burn me!”

“Call it!” Breanna and Edsel said together.

With extreme reluctance, knowing that the others were right. Pia pried open her mouth and said “Come, you awful thing.” And the hot book accelerated toward her.

“Come, needle.” Justin whispered.

“Go, Para!” Breanna cried.

The boat shot forward. There was a crash behind it. And Pia's horror eased. Two more awful fantasies had been destroyed.

But another was already appearing. It looked like a vertical column, but it wasn't supporting anything. “What is that?” Edsel asked.

Pia. recovering, looked. The thing did not fill her with horror, so she knew it wasn't hers. That was a kind of relief “It looks like a rug,” she said, “A rolled carpet.”

“A carpet'” DeMonica cued, her voice a wail. “That shouldn't be here.”

“You mean it's yours?” Pia asked, surprised. She had thought the half-demon child to be immune.

“I gotta get outa here!” Monica shrilled, and scrambled for the far side of the boat.

“Wait!” Pia exclaimed, catching her. “You can't run on water, and anyway, it'll follow you ”

“Let me go! Let me go!” the child screamed, struggling. But Pia drew her in close and held her firmly.

“What's the problem?” Breanna asked, and it wasn't any routine query.

“Let me go!” Monica shrieked.

“The child needs calming,” Justin said.

Pia did not know the first thing about calming a child. She had never wanted anything to do with children, who had in the past struck her as irrelevant nuisances. But she tried. “Take it easy.” she said, hugging the little girl.

“No!” Monica was starting to change her form, oozing out of Pia's grip in slow demonic fashion.

Pia shifted her hold, but it was hard to hold on to a shifting squirming squiggling form. She was losing the contest.

“We must discover the nature of the threat.” Justin said insistently.

Pia saw the rolled carpet looming closer. It was angling now, as if making ready to unroll on the water. “Monica!” she said, taking another hold. “What's about that carpet?”

But the child was beyond listening. She wanted only to get away, and try to flee, though she drown in the attempt.

“Kiss her.” Breanna suggested.

Pia hauled Monica in and kissed her on the forehead, trying to emulate motherly fashion. The child burst into tears and clutched her. “Don't let it get me!”

“I won't.” Pia promised, though she had no idea how to keep that promise. “But you must tell me: what's its secret?”

“It’s going to roll me up!” Monica cried welly. “I'll smother.”

Now it was coming clear. Suffocation inside the rolled carpet. Someone must have threatened the child with that once, and it had become a buried fear. Maybe the carpet was illusory, but its terror could still stop the child's breathing. It was tilting farther, showing it’s hollow interior “Is there another spook in sight?” Pia inquired desperately.

“No,” Edsel said.

Pia hugged the child closer. “Then find another way to abolish it.”

Edsel turned to Justin. “Is there any other way?”

“Sometimes. If there is a pun that can be changed. But there seems to be nothing funny about being smothered by a lolled carpet.”

“Yes there is,” Edsel said. "Carpet tunnel syndrome.”

“You got it!” Breanna said. “But how can it be changed?”

Pia was discovering, to her surprise, that she rather liked comforting the child. She had never tried it before, but holding the little girl seemed meaningful. Monica was taking comfort, though as yet they had no certainty of saving her. The carpet was unrolling, making ready for its prey “There has to be some other variant,” Edsel said. “Carpet— carpal—”

A bulb flashed over Pia's head. “Car pool tunnel thin dome!” she exclaimed

The carpet apparition seemed to groan. It changed form, becoming a thin glassy dome with a tunnel through it, wide enough for several cars No way to smother anyone in that. Disgusted, it faded

“You saved me!” DeMonica said, giving Pia a heartfelt extra hug, and then a wet kiss.

“Well, I had to. dear,” Pia said, feeling a tear at her eye.

“I love you.”

“And I love you.” Pia said Now she was sure: she wanted a child of her own. She had never realized before how precious they could be.

“You never punned before.” Edsel said, amazed.

“I guess I never had to.” She let the child go. That job was done, but she would never forget that joy of holding the little girl close.

“There's the magic locket,” Monica said, as brightly as if she had never been scared. Children did recover from things rapidly. “On Soft.”

Pia looked. She saw the locket hanging by its chain from the neck of a chunky standing man. The man was facing the other way, but the locket was against his broad bare back

“I can get it.” Edsel said.

“No. this is my mission,” Pia said I’ll get it." She appreciated his offer, but suspected that she could more readily charm the man to give it to her.

Para reached the isle and waddled onto land. Pia stepped out and approached the man. She noticed that his back was flat and covered with small print. “Excuse me,” she said.

He turned. For a moment she was afraid he was completely naked, but his front side was garishly clothed. “Yes?”

“I—I'm Pia. I need that magic locket.”

“Welcome to it I am Softcover I was holding it for DeMonica.”

“Softcover?” she asked

“My soft paper back is hard to cover.”

Now she made the connection. Paperback—hardcover. He was in fact a standing, talking book. Not a cookbook, fortunately; cheap adventure fiction. She smiled fetchingly at him. “Thank you so much. Mister Soft-cover. Will you give it to me?”

“I am unable to reach it. You must take it from me.”

So did he want to make her embrace him? Well, if that was the price of it, she could do it. She stepped in close, reached her arms around his arms and chest, caught hold of the chain, and lifted it up and over his head. It was a stretch, and at one point she was pressing fairly firmly against him, but he didn't move. She brought it down, and had possession. “Thank you,” she said, smiling again.

“You are welcome.”

Now she saw that his arms were actually the soft covers of the book, with the hands painted on. He could not move them other than to open and close them. So he had not been deceiving her.

She turned and stepped back into the boat. "Now let's get the bleep out of here,” she said briskly.

The boat splashed into the water and moved rapidly back the way they had come. But another shape was coming toward them. It looked like a winged woman. Whose fantasy was this one?

“Willow!” Monica called happily.

“Willow!” Breanna echoed. “What are you doing here?”

The winged girl came to land in the boat. “Hello Monica, Justin. Breanna. I think I have business with your friends.”

“Oh Okay.” Breanna turned to Edsel and Pia. “This is Willow Elf. Sean Mundane's wife.” She turned back to the girl. “And these are Edsel and Pia. from Mundania.”

"Yes The Good Magician told me to find them here. I need the magic locket.”

“Now wait a minute,” Pia protested. “We need this locket, to stop the Demon CoTwo. The Good Magician knows that.”

“Yes, of course.” Willow agreed. ”But as soon as you finish with it, I must take it to Mundania, to help Nimby."

“Nimby's in trouble?” Breanna asked, alarmed.

"We fear so. He has very little magic there, because he is using a Mundane body rather than his own. and we think the Demon E(A/R)th is trying to trap him there. Messages came to several folk, saying Nimby Eats Dust. The Good Magician takes them most seriously. So we must get magic to him soon.”

“This is serious,” Justin said.

“Yes. I need to fill the locket with magic dust, so that it will carry the magic to him. Then he will be able to re-connect with you and return to the land of Xanth.”

“While we return to Mundania,” Pia said, surprised to hear a tinge of regret in her voice. Despite all its complications, she was coming to like it here. For one thing, there was her sixteen year old body. It had been wonderful having it, and using it to impress men. “We'll give you the locket as soon as we finish with CoTwo.”

Willow frowned. “It would be better if I borrowed it now, to fill it with magic dust.”

“You can't fill it.” Monica said. “It's bottomless.”

Willow nodded agreement. “I mean, to put enough dust in it to help Nimby.”

“But we need it now,” Pia said, distrusting this.

“I will bring it back to you. I simply need to take it to the Magic Dust Village.”

“How long will that take'7”

“No more than half a day,” the elf said. “Most of that will be flying time.”

Pia was pained “Isn't there a faster way?”

Willow considered. “Actually, there is, now that I remember it. Pearl lives near here.”

“Pearl?”

“Her talent is summoning magic dust. With her help, I could do it in an hour.”

“Go to Pearl.” Pia agreed, handing over the magic locket.

“Thank you. Where can I most readily find you, then?”

"At the snow mountains.''

“I will be there.” Willow spread her lovely wings and took off.

“This is bad news,” Breanna said. “If Nimby gets trapped in Mundania, all of Xanth will be in trouble.”

“We shall deal with CoTwo, and then the locket will go to rescue Nimby,” Edsel said. Then his glance strayed. “My!”

Pia looked. She saw a troupe of shapely nymphs dancing across the surface of the water. "Whose horror is that?”

“Mine,” Edsel said. “Only it's no horror. I've always dreamed of going to a show like that.”

Pia eyed the figures disapprovingly. They had very well fleshed legs and very short skirts. There were five of them, with hair matching skirts: blue, red, green, yellow, and black. “This is going to freak you out?”

“For sure,” Breanna said. "When they get close and do a high kick, so as to show their pretty colored—“

“I get it. So is there another horror to collide with them?”

“I fear so,” Justin said. “Over there.”

Pia looked the way he indicated. Her blood tried to curdle. It was a formless hump that sent a dreadful chill through her.

“What is it?” Breanna asked.

“It's my personal monster,” Pia said. “The thing I want least to encounter.”

“What is that?” Justin asked.

“I don't know. Just that I've got to get away from it.”

“How can you be afraid of something you don't know?” Monica asked.

“I think I'm afraid of it because it's unknown,” Pia said. “It's something I simply can't face.”

“Well, we'll crash it into the dancing nymphs,“ Breanna said. ”But you'll both have to summon them, so they'll collide where we were."

“Glad to,” Edsel said. “Come, nymphs.”

Pia opened her mouth, but the words wouldn't come out. She just couldn't summon that unknown horror.

“Hey, we have to get them aligned,” Breanna said. “Bring the hump! Only you can do it ”

“I can't.” Pia moaned. “I just can't.”

“Then we have a problem,” Breanna said. “The nymphs are upon us. Para, dodge!”

The boat dodged to the side, but couldn't escape the nymphs. They intercepted it and spilled onto the seats, going for Edsel. One of them tumbled head under skirt into Pia, giving her a phenomenal flash of green panties. Of course that didn't freak her out, because she was female, and because her main attention was taken by the more distant lump pursuing her. But she knew Edsel was another matter.

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