Years of Summer: Lily's Story (20 page)

“Maybe now, but I’ve changed a lot.”

We pulled into the parking lot of the botanical gardens and we all slid out of the truck.  Sunshine was ready to go. I had my little gray ADPi sweatshirt jacket on.  It was the first time I had worn it since Jace.  But like I said that was a part of me he never claimed.  Curiosity got the best of me, as we started walking.

“Dave, what made you change?”

“I don’t think you want to know.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Okay, but prepare for that pedestal to be shattered.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m really afraid to tell you, you’re not going to like me.”

“Dave just spit it out.  I know who you are now.  That’s all that matters to me.”

“Okay . . .” He hesitated longer than I wanted him to.

“Dave, just tell me.”

“Okay . . . Okay . . . remember that friend . . . of Hannah and Hallie’s that I told you about . . . that was killed when she was in sixth grade . . . because of a drunk driver.”  The way he was talking I knew he was trying hard not to break down.

A feeling of horror came over me, as I thought the worst.  I stopped dead in my tracks and Sunshine stopped dead too and pushed herself up against me.  Tears came into my eyes, I almost couldn’t breathe.  “Tell me . . . you are not the one . . . that killed her.”

“I can honestly tell you that I was not the one that did, however . . . I would have been in the same car . . . with the one that did . . . had I not been sick that night with strep throat.”  He waited for my reaction.

Luckily there happened to be a bench as we were walking by. I had to sit down and Sunshine went into work mode. I suddenly knew what had happened, and I looked at him.  “Your friends were killed too, weren’t they?” 

A flash of memory came back as I remembered a day in high school when everyone was talking about the horrible accident that had claimed the lives of three from Decatur High and one from one of the local elementary schools. My heart ached for Dave. He had lost three of his friends in high school because of drunk driving, his sisters had lost one of theirs and then he lost his roommate to the same thing and his best friend almost took her life basically because of the same thing. 

I looked at Dave. He was staring down at the ground and I could tell he was crying.  Through tears I heard him finish his story.  “My parents . . . didn’t know . . . I hung out with them . . . they thought . . . I was a good kid . . . My sisters knew . . . that’s why they didn’t like me . . . I was always the designated driver . . . when we went out . . . I don’t know why. . . I wasn’t in the car with them . . . I still don’t . . . I could’ve saved all four of them.”  I don’t think he had ever told anyone that before.  My heart broke for him. 

I couldn’t stand to see Dave hurting like he was.  I let go of Sunshine and went to him and wrapped my arms around him and held on.  He held onto me too. 

“Dave . . . I’m glad you weren’t in that car . . . you couldn’t have done anything and you would’ve become one of the ones killed.  You weren’t in that car because there were other plans for you.  If you had been in that car . . . your sisters would have hated themselves for hating you.  If you had been in that car . . . Chance would have raped me and no telling what else.  If you had been in that car . . . I would have jumped off that rock.  You did save four people . . . just one of them . . . you saved twice.  You gave me my life back and you became closer to your sisters.  If you had been in that car . . . none of that would’ve happened.  Your sisters would be devastated and I would be dead.  Don’t you see . . . that’s why you weren’t in that car that night . . . or the best way I know how to explain it, anyway.  Plus you would’ve never been able to teach those kids that you’re going to be the best teacher too.”

I took Dave’s hand and led him back to the bench with Sunshine following close beside me.  He was still crying.  “Lily . . . how can you not hate me . . . for the type of person I was?”

“Because I know the type of person you are and the past is exactly that, the past. It should never make its way into your future. How long have you been holding that as part of you, because it’s not part of you anymore?”  

I realized, as tears flowed over again, that held true for me too.  I whispered the rest.  “Just like Jace isn’t part of me anymore.”  I spoke a little louder.  “He is part of my past and should not make it into my future, because the past is past.”

Dave had a teary smile that lit up his face and I gently placed my hand on his cheek and wiped the tears away.  I could tell what he wanted to do, but he opted for a triumphant embrace instead.  I felt it; it felt wonderful, as the first piece of my wall broke away. 

Part 4: 

Starting Over

Prologue—

Starting over, wow, I never thought I’d get there. It actually took me a while longer than the day at the Botanical Gardens. There was much to overcome. One of the main things was the fear of “will it happen again”. Dave never faltered. He was determined that I continue to get better, because he somehow knew that would be the turning point. He’s like that.

I really wanted to get closer to him, but I was so afraid he would be snatched out of my hands, so I kept my distance. Although, in the back of my mind, I knew it would be hard for me. There were some things that were harder, like allowing myself to feel that vulnerable again and letting myself get that close to someone again. Fear was my biggest enemy, but then, there was Dave—my rock—and he didn’t give up.

Chapter 14

Dave and I spent a lot more time together, especially when it came time to certify Sunshine as a full Service Dog. The next two weeks before term started were spent at his Aunt Shelley’s clinic,
Therapeutic Pets, Inc.
Dave worked with me until I felt like I had every command down to a tee. Sunshine loved it. It was like her dream was to be my service dog.  She worked hard for us. Dave taught her to follow his commands too, wasn’t sure why, but he had his reasons, so I never bothered to ask, nor did I care. In my opinion she was part his dog too.

After our visit to the Botanical Gardens, he changed.  He seemed happier than I had seen him in a while. There could’ve been many reasons for this, but I believed the biggest was what he told me about. He said I was the only one he had ever told that too. I was glad to know that he had not told Brianna, because she would have just put him down for it and he didn’t deserve that. 

Our last training class with Sunshine fell on a Friday, the Friday before term started.  They had a little test to see if she remembered all her commands and his Aunt Shelley agreed that she was well-taught and well cared for and determined she was ready to be a full-time Service Dog. The training ended with a little graduation ceremony where she received her new vest labeled “Service Dog” and a new harness. Both were fluorescent pink. She gave me her certificate and a few little gifts to be used for her when she was on the job. Dave was proud of us both. 

Aunt Shelley also gave me a letter to take to my doctor, as well as a letter of commendation for my doctor to see. She sent a new letter with me about Sunshine’s new upgraded status that I was to take to the registrar’s office Monday when I went to school.  The next stop was my Doctor’s office to get a certified letter stating that I needed Sunshine, because of my panic attacks.  I had been on some medicine since Jace passed, but after Dave gave me Sunshine I stopped taking it. She was like a replacement for my medicine. The Doctor wrote the letter and I read it.

Lily Grace Aldridge is my patient.  She is under treatment for a chronic medical disability.  Lily Grace Aldridge uses a Service Dog to assist her in managing this disability and she has my support in doing so.  It is my professional opinion that Lily Grace Aldridge’s Service Dog is medically necessary.  Please accommodate her and her Service Dog as requested.  Sincerely, Dr. James Edwards.

After reading the letter, I wished I could correct it because my name was used too much in it, but I couldn’t and I had to take that with me to school Monday.  When I told Dave I thought my name was used too much in it, he laughed.  He took me to the library so I could make copies of all the letters and keep the originals.  I started getting nervous about going to school.  I was afraid I would have a panic attack in the middle of a class, but that’s why Dave brought me Sunshine, so I would feel more at ease.  He was more afraid for me than I was.

* * * * * * *

That morning I woke up at five a.m.  Ally had left Sunday, she rode with Sam.  They had become an item I guess you could say.  I wished Dave would show up and take me to school, but I had to do this on my own, well, me and Sunshine. I had bought my books Saturday.  I checked my schedule and folded it back up and made sure I had the right book.  I packed my notebook too.  I needed to leave around six-fifteen to get there on time.  I also packed Sunshine’s backpack that Dave had given her, put her gear on her, and then we were off.

I was glad I had applied for the highest amount of student loans possible. I was going to need it to buy gas. The good thing was part of my courses would take me to student teaching in Kindergarten.  I was going to be at Jones Valley Elementary, beginning in March, in one of the Kindergarten classrooms.  I would be doing that Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 

I was really looking forward to that and they had already been informed and the students told about Sunshine.  The teacher I was going to be with even wrote me a letter and said she was looking forward to the teaching opportunity that came with me.  She was going to do a unit on Service Animals in the Community and Sunshine would be a perfect addition to the classroom.  The teacher's name was Mrs. Graylee.

Until then, however, I had classes to go to, beginning with ECE transition to student teaching.  That was the only class I had on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but it lasted almost all day, from 8:30 to 1:30.  It was broken into sections: unit development, lesson plan development, and state curriculum implementation.  Basically we came to class all day and worked in groups to develop a unit, make lesson plans for that unit, and make sure all areas of the state curriculum were covered, from math to social studies.  We were given six weeks to do this.  I was surprised at how easily I fell right back into college.  That day was not hard at all.

We were given a forty-five minute lunch break. I went to eat with Ally; Hannah and Hallie were there.  I was finally able to meet them in person after hearing Dave talk about them so much.  Sam had joined them too.  Ally was so excited that I had come and Sunshine just laid there on the floor on her mat that I had bought her, because I wasn’t sure how dirty the floor was, plus it gave her a place to belong.  She really seemed to like her mat, it was kind of cushiony, so it wasn’t uncomfortable, and it was pink. 

Too soon it was time for me to go back to class; I was really enjoying the visit with all of them.  I kissed Ally goodbye on the cheek and said I’d see her tomorrow.  She and Sam walked out holding hands.  I thought it was so cute.  I was happy for her; I just hoped he stuck around.

I walked back into class and sat down at the table. The rest of my group came in shortly after that. There were four girls and two guys in our group. It was me, Janey, Trisha, and Laney; and the guys names were Brad and Josh. That day we had to come up with a theme for our unit. We were to brainstorm about what we could use as a theme. I was surprisingly relaxed and spoke easily to the others in my group. We decided on Animals of the World, from backyard to rainforest. We each had to come up with a lesson plan for every part of the state curriculum, which when you added them up was thirty lesson plans per unit, so we decided this was a month-long unit. 

We had to turn in our individual lesson plans typed and bound for our grade.  Then we had to make copies of our lesson plans for the others of our group.  The last week in February we were to present our unit in front of the class. It was fun and I met some new people. 

When class was over I had to go to the registrar’s office to find the exceptional needs office and turn in my paperwork for having Sunshine with me. I felt better knowing that all of my teachers would know about her. Tomorrow was going to be a challenge. I had two classes, both an hour and a half long. They weren’t going to keep me busy like my class on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I hoped for the best. I put Sunshine in my car and climbed in and drove home.