Yesterday's Roses (38 page)

He buried his face in Hallie's hair for a moment. With his voice half-muffled, he confessed, “When it became obvious that I was unable to get an erection, she laughed at me. She called me impotent. Half a man.”

A sob escaped Jake's lips. “She was right. After that, I was incapable of performing. Not even when Seth took me to Coralie's and treated me to her best whore. I didn't dare try again after I failed with her as well. I was too afraid to face the humiliating truth that I was no longer able to function as a man.”

“That's all over now, darling,” Hallie whispered, kissing his chest just over where his heart beat. If Serena hadn't already been dead, she would have strangled her for hurting Jake.

“You're right. It is over.” He rubbed his cheek against her hair. Sitting up like this, he could no longer smell the roses. There was only Hallie. Fresh, womanly Hallie.

Reassured by her familiar scent, he confessed, “It was over the first moment I met you. You were honest and good, and I wanted you. You showed me you cared and I needed you. And when you came to love me, you healed the wounds of my shame. You gave me back my manhood.”

“I love you, Jake Parrish,” Hallie whispered, his words making her feel breathless with emotion. “That's all that matters now. We have a lifetime to make our own memories, and I intend to make sure they're all proud, happy ones.”

Jake groaned and crushed her against his chest. “Sweet Jesus! I love you, too!” And then he claimed her lips with a kiss that gave truth to his words.

Coiling her arms around his neck, Hallie returned his kiss—with a kiss that clearly expressed her love and compassion, a healing kiss. One that made Serena's hovering ghost dissolve and put all the destructive memories where they belonged—in the past.

As Hallie parted her lips, responding like a spark to kindling beneath the probing heat of his tongue, her hand slipped downward and came to rest on his manhood.

Jake gasped as fire flared through his loins and he hardened completely. “No, Hallie,” he murmured, pushing her out of his embrace and rising from the bed. “Not here. I want our new memories to be free from the taint of the past.”

Then he reached down and scooped her up into his arms. For the first time since the war, Jake's leg was strong enough to allow him to carry his beloved Mission Lady to his bed.

And that night, in expressing their mutual love, they created what they hoped would be the first of a lifetime full of sweet memories together.

Chapter 25

Hallie sat cross-legged on the floor, carefully removing the contents from the bottom drawer of Serena's dressing table. In the months following the first Mrs. Parrish's death no one had thought to clear away her personal effects, and the room had stood virtually untouched.

Even Hallie, who sometimes used the room for undressing after returning home from late-night emergency calls, had never spared the Rose Room more than a passing thought.

But that had been before last night, before she'd seen how devastated Jake was by the memories of the room. It was in the early hours of the morning, after her husband had finally drifted off to sleep, that Hallie had vowed to sweep away the pain of yesterday and turn the rose-decked room into a haven where her love could at last find peace.

As she lifted the last of Serena's possessions, the final sum of a wasted young life, Hallie caught glimpses of the once happy, carefree girl whose life had turned out so tragically.

It was the seemingly insignificant tokens, such as the bundles of yellowed letters, tattered dance cards, and faded ribbons that spoke most eloquently of a treasured past. With a surge of bittersweet longing, Hallie wondered what it would have been like to have childhood memories worth cherishing.

“Mrs. Parrish?”

Hallie glanced up as a contingent of footmen carrying an old sleigh bed stopped just inside the door to await her orders.

“Over there.” She pointed to the wall opposite an enormous bay window. Serena's gilt bed had stood across the room by the fireplace, and Hallie wanted the room to be as different as possible. Nodding her head with satisfaction, she quickly finished clearing the remaining items from the drawer. Someday Ariel would wonder about the mother she'd never known, and these tokens might provide her with some insight.

“You can take the dressing table up the attic now,” Hallie told the footmen, giving the drawer a push to close it. It stuck. She gave it another shove. Still it refused to close. With a sigh of exasperation, she removed the drawer and searched for the obstruction. As she gingerly poked into the dark corners of the drawer's slot, Hallie's hand brushed against something soft.

She could only stare, aghast, at what she found. Wrapped in one of Serena's handkerchiefs was a pessary. Hallie's forehead creased into a frown. If Serena had been using a pessary, then …

Joy, fierce and exultant, swelled in her heart:
Jake's seed wasn't fruitless. Serena had been using this device to prevent conception.
Hallie hugged herself. She couldn't wait to see the happiness on her husband's face when she told him the news.

Though he seldom mentioned it, Hallie knew how much Jake's fruitless state pained him. Once, while lying in each other's arms, they had each confessed their most secret yearnings. Jake's had been for a family of his own, and it had broken her heart knowing that it was the one thing he would never have.

That night she'd prayed for a miracle, the miracle of a child with Jake's stunning good looks and his loving ways. And now, with the discovery of this device, came the hope that her miracle might be possible after all.

Hallie let her hands slide to her belly with a sigh. Perhaps even now Jake's child grew within her. That thought made her heart surge with longing.

All through the afternoon Hallie worked, whisking away all traces of Serena's presence and transforming the room into one that suited her own, simpler tastes.

The furnishings, which she had discovered in the attic, were of the style of the French Empire which had been popular earlier in the century. The plain sleigh bed was of mahogany, as were the rest of the furniture pieces, all of which had been polished to a mirror shine by Celine and Hallie. Simple yellow-and-blue-patterned muslin drapes replaced the flounced pink silk ones, and the bed was covered with a yellow satin coverlet. On the floor was a soft blue carpet woven with accents of yellow, colors which reminded Hallie of the sun glinting off the bay on a spring day.

As she stood arranging daisies and lily of the valley in a vase, pausing now and again to survey her handiwork with satisfaction, the door opened.

Standing stock-still on the threshold, Jake quietly took in every detail of the room's metamorphosis. With pleasure, he noted Hallie's choice of furnishings. This had been his mother's furniture, and though Serena had banished it to the attic, pronouncing it old-fashioned, he'd always loved it. He could almost picture his beautiful mother turning from the dressing table mirror and holding out her arms to him, arms that had always been ready to embrace him.

A knot formed in Jake's throat as he crossed the room to the bed and traced the contours of the headboard with his fingertips. Looking over to where Hallie stood, a stalk of lily of the valley clutched in her hand, he murmured, “I like this furniture.”

And he liked the way she looked, too. Dressed in a flattering gown of leaf green India cotton, with her hair pulled away from her face in a matching ribbon, his wife was the most beautiful sight Jake Parrish had ever seen.

Their gazes met, and held, as he closed the distance between them. Though his limp was still pronounced, and always would be, he now walked with a confidence he had previously lacked.

As Jake stopped before her, a smile tugging at his lips, Hallie thought that she'd never seen him look so wonderful. He had spent the day at the wharf seeing to his ships, and his face had a healthy, sun-kissed glow which she found irresistible.

Gently, Jake took the flowers from Hallie's hand and inhaled their perfume, his gaze capturing hers over the delicate blooms. “I've heard that lily of the valley symbolizes a return to happiness,” he murmured, breaking off a small sprig and tucking it behind her ear. “The flower suits you, for you've returned me to happiness.”

Jake's heart was filled with joy as he stared down at his wife. She was everything to him. She made him eager to start every new day and gave him a reason to cherish the nights he had once dreaded. And now she was making his house into a home.

Tenderly, he pressed a kiss to her lips. “Thank you,” he whispered, nodding at the room.

“I'm glad you approve.” Smiling, she wrapped her arms around his taut waist to pull him near. He had been riding hard, and as Hallie pressed her face against his chest she could smell the musky scent of his sweat. She inhaled deeply, finding his masculine scent as seductive as an aphrodisiac.

“Want me to show you how much I approve?” He chuckled as he began unhooking the back of her dress.

Reaching up to remove his tie, she replied, “Only if you let me show you how much I love you in return.”

“You already have,” he pointed out, helping her remove his jacket and in turn easing her bodice off. “Now it's my turn to pay you back.”

Hallie smiled wickedly as she tugged off his shirt. “I'll collect the debt later.” She paused to nip at his broad shoulder. “Right now, I have special plans for you, Mr. Parrish.”

With that, she blazed a path of sucking kisses from the scar at his throat all the way down to his navel, stopping in between to tease his flat nipples with her tongue. It excited her to feel him quiver beneath the tender assault of her lips.

With a low growl, Jake untied the ribbons of Hallie's chemise and slipped the flimsy garment to her waist. Then he bent down to return her sensual favor.

Leisurely, he kissed down the length of her torso, pausing to bite at the waistband of her skirt before nibbling his way back up to her breasts.

“That feels … wonderful,” she sighed, arching against him as he traced slow circles around her nipples with his tongue.

“How wonderful?” he murmured, capturing one of the hardened peaks between his lips, alternately sucking and licking in turn until her sighs of desire quickened to pants of lust.

Her body trembled and with a whimper she strained her pelvis against his groin, crushing herself against the evidence of his need. “Too wonderful!” she gasped as the secret place between her legs began to tingle with delicious yearning.

Moaning with his own urgency, Jake let his hands slide down the narrow curve of Hallie's waist and in one fluid motion, he unhooked her skirts. With a soft
whoosh!
her garments slipped down her hips to pool around her ankles, leaving her clad only in her almost transparent drawers and silk stockings.

“Jake!” Hallie cried, as he fondled her heated woman's flesh through the thin cotton of her drawers. Oh! How he teased her … tormented her, his touch making her body quiver out of control.

A smile of anticipation curled Jake's lips as he explored the thinly veiled recesses of Hallie's womanhood. “Do you like it when I touch you here?” he whispered, sliding his fingers between her moist folds.

“Yes!” she whimpered, as he found the hardened nub of her pleasure. A rush of moisture soaked through the fabric of her drawers, landing proof to her declaration.

With maddening gentleness, he stroked her, his skilled hands ravishing her most sensitive place until she moaned her urgent need. Breathlessly, she pulsed against him, the answering thrusts of her pelvis keeping perfect time to the erotic motion of his fingers.

“Jake! I need …” Frantically, she increased the tempo of her hips, rubbing her swollen flesh hard against his hand. His intimate caresses sent her soaring toward heaven, straining for rapture, her body screaming for the climax just out of her reach.

“Tell me what you need, Mission Lady,” he purred. God! How he loved the feel of her, so sweet and yielding. It took all his control not to plunge into her warmth and spend himself in one violent stroke.

“Paradise!” Hallie whimpered. “Take me to paradise!” And as his stroking became more insistent, more coaxing, the coiling heat in her belly exploded, and with a shuddering cry she found her paradise. Over and over again, her pleasure peaked, forcing her to grasp his shoulders for support beneath the soul-shattering intensity of her release.

As the last thundering crash of her ecstasy subsided, Hallie's knees buckled and she would have collapsed if Jake hadn't caught her.

Almost frantic with his own aching need, Jake swept his wife into his arms and carried her to the bed. In one quick motion, he divested her of her drawers.

He hesitated for a moment as his hands hovered over her white silk stockings. He liked the way they clung to the slender contours of her legs and with a roguish grin, he decided to leave them. It made his groin surge with excitement to imagine those silk-clad legs wrapped around his hips as he took her. Experimentally, he ran his hand down the length of her thigh, enjoying the way she moaned in response.

Still moaning, Hallie reached up and unbuttoned Jake's trousers. His arousal was so intense that his sex was straining hard against his muscular belly. As she slipped his pants down to his knees, she pulled him onto the bed and then rolled over on top of him, straddling his thighs. Impatiently, she tugged off his boots, tossing them across the room. With a kick, Jake sent his trousers flying after his boots.

“Oh, no,” Hallie murmured, trying to wrestle his hands to the mattress as he reached up to touch her. “It's my turn now, and I expect you to he still while I have my way with you.” Lightly, she teased the hair on his belly, tickling lower and lower until she touched the thatch of dark hair at the apex of his thighs.

With a primitive half-growl, half-groan, Jake surrendered to Hallie's loving ministrations. Down her fingers slipped, stroking his groin and lightly tracing the junction of his thighs. He gasped and squirmed uncontrollably, sobbing as she teased the flesh of his inner thigh, maddened with urgency as she touched him everywhere except where he ached the most.

“Touch me!” he begged, as she spread his legs wide apart and lay on her belly between them, tenderly kissing the scar on his thigh. Dear God! He'd die if she didn't relieve him soon. He ached worse than when he'd been a youth and had snuck into a bawdy show with two of his friends.

Jake groaned and thrashed his hips. “Sweetheart, please!” he cried hoarsely. She was lying between his legs, her chin propped up on his thigh, staring at his hardness.

“Please, what?” she prompted. “Tell me what you want.”

He jerked his pelvis frantically. “Touch me! Please … release me.”

Her hand traveled inward. “Touch you … like this?” He cried out as her fingers encircled his shaft. Lightly, she traced his length with her thumb, studying his frenzied response.

He gasped and moved against her. This was worse, far worse. She was tormenting him, touching him like that!

Suddenly Jake felt her move nearer, felt her warm breath fan across his inflamed sex and he knew what she meant to do. The thought made him freeze.

“No!' he choked, as she tentatively tasted him. “Don't! I can't …” He tried to squirm away, certain that his sex would shrivel, terrified that any moment he would hear Serena's cruel taunts and mocking laughter.

“Relax, darling,” Hallie murmured, firmly bracing his hips between her hands, steadying him.

“Hallie …” He couldn't bear it. He tried to shrink from her, to escape, but she merely clutched his hips tighter.

“I want to taste you. To give you the same pleasure you give me when you use your mouth.” Boldly, she nipped at his silky tip. “I love you, Jake.” She nipped him again.

A sob escaped him as Jake felt his manhood surge beneath her exquisite probing, and his back arched involuntarily in response. He trusted Hallie and to his astonishment, he liked what she was doing to him. It felt … wonderful.

Then her lips encircled him, fully engulfing him.

“Hallie!” he screamed, thrusting his pelvis up to meet her. And as she moved down his shaft, Jake's groin muscles tightened and he lost himself in the violence of his release. Never had his man's flesh felt so deliciously sensitive as it did at that moment, never had his climax been so blinding in its intensity.