You Belong to Me (24 page)

T
he return to Cardinia seemed to take no time at all, but then, Alexandra was so sunk in her unhappiness that she barely noticed the passing of time. On the ship, she spent the entire week near a bucket, feeling half dead. She supposed she was fortunate, though, considering the stories she’d heard from other pregnant women, that during the sea voyage was the only time she was sick.

Once she was back on land, her health bloomed. In fact, she’d never felt better—physically. She didn’t even catch the colds and coughs that the rest of her companions were suffering as they traveled through the worst part of winter, plagued by snow or freezing winds.

Her spirits picked up only when they were nearing Cardinia and she realized she would soon be back with her horses. It was then that she began to notice the unusual looks she was getting from Vasili, as if he might be regretting something. She could just imagine what.

However, he had told her earlier in the jour
ney that he would give her time to get used to the fact that they
were
getting married. He seemed absolutely adamant about it now. And to give her that time to adjust, he had apparently decided that keeping their conversations down to a minimum would help. After all, it was a rare occasion when they could talk and not have their words progress into a heated exchange.

One time in particular should have been the argument of the century, the first time they came to an inn and ended up dining together. Alexandra had already decided there was no point in continuing her rustic ruse. It had never worked on Vasili anyway. And now that she was resigned to marrying him—just for the baby’s sake—she was done with schemes to try to get out of it.

Vasili had raised his brows dubiously at the dresses she continued to wear since leaving England, though he didn’t ask again if she had her britches on beneath them. But the night they sat at the same table, and he observed her normal eating habits for the first time, she thought he was going to go into shock.

Yet it didn’t take long before his eyes had narrowed on her. “So all those horrid, disgusting manners were only for my benefit?” he guessed.

She didn’t try to prevaricate, but answered simply, “Of course.”

“The swearing?”

“I had help—and improvised.”

“Your skill with a whip wasn’t faked.”

“Konrad taught me when we were children.”

“And the threats you gave my women?”

She shrugged. “Sorry, but those were genuine. I never have been able to share what’s mine.”

He actually grinned at that point before telling her, “I’ve discovered I won’t either, at least not where you’re concerned.”

She didn’t take that declaration seriously. And she figured he had realized that he couldn’t get angry over what she’d done to fool him because he had done the very same thing.

Tanya Barony had warned her, but she herself had been treated to Vasili’s true character on the return trip for the proof of it. No more taunting, derisive remarks. No more contemptuous looks. And too many sensuous smiles for her heart to handle with any degree of indifference.

He was getting to her without even trying, and that frightened her. She could just imagine how painful it was going to be when he got around to ignoring her, and that would happen as soon as he figured out that she was already carrying his desired heir, which wouldn’t be much longer. It also hurt her even more to discover that he really was likable when he wasn’t deliberately trying to be otherwise, just as Tanya had claimed.

If she could only hate him, she could get through marriage to him with ease. But that
wasn’t the case, was so far from it that it was laughable. And too many times she came close to setting aside her pride and begging for his affection—at the very least, for his body.

It was deplorable how often those carnal feelings were assailing her these days. And she hoped that she would be married before her condition was discovered, because she was determined to have her wedding night, which was probably going to be the only night with him she would get. She would demand it, in fact, if necessary, because Vasili owed her that much after introducing her to the pleasures of the body, then leaving her yearning for more.

It was raining the day they arrived in the royal city of Cardinia. Vasili and Lazar had chosen to join her in the carriage when it started. Vasili had supplied the vehicle for her three weeks ago, when he’d seen her leave the ship in a dress rather than her britches. She had been brooding too much at the time even to be aware that her dress wasn’t suitable for riding.

But she hadn’t objected to the carriage, or that, because of it, she wasn’t supplied with a horse to do some riding. She wasn’t sure that she
should
ride anymore, now that she was two and a half months into her pregnancy. Until a doctor could advise her on the matter, she preferred not to take any chances, no matter how much she might miss her daily rides.

Vasili had waited until the last minute, until
they’d actually entered the city, to tell Alexandra she would be staying with his mother again. The way he said it led her to believe he was expecting an argument. She didn’t give him one, despite the fact that she was dreading facing the countess again.

She supposed she owed the lady an apology. She would have seen to it when they arrived, and Maria met them no sooner than they had walked in the door, except Vasili had some things to say to his mother that momentarily surprised Alexandra.

“So you found her,” Maria began.

“I told you I would, Mother. And since we will be married tomorrow, Alexandra will be staying here only tonight. But kindly do me the favor of not mentioning her previous behavior to her. It was all a pretense anyway, so you can stop worrying that—”

“Yes, yes, I know all about that,” Maria cut in, surprising both him and Alexandra.

“How?” Vasili asked.

“Her father arrived not long after you left. He explained that although she is a trifle unconventional in certain areas—her horses, for one—she is every bit the lady we were expecting her to be. I was, of course, quite shocked. So was the baron when I related—”

“Let’s
not
discuss it, Mother, if you don’t mind. Did he return to Russia?”

“With his daughter missing?” she replied, her tone implying he should know parents weren’t that cavalier. “He was going to go after her himself, until I assured him that you
would bring her back. Of course, I offered him my hospitality.”

“He’s
here?
”

“Yes, upstairs, and you might as well know, Vasili, he confessed that there never was a…”

Alexandra didn’t hear any more. She’d started backing up the moment Vasili’s mother had mentioned her father, and soon she was out the door, heading for the stable. How could her father show up here after what he’d done to her? How could he pretend to care what—

“Alex, where do you think you’re going?”

Vasili had halted her with a gentle hand on her arm, but she kept her face averted from him until she could swipe at her eyes. She didn’t want him to see the tears she’d been unable to hold back.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I just know I don’t want to see my father—ever again.”

Was that relief she heard in his sigh? “Then you won’t have to. I’ll take you to the queen. She’ll keep you secluded until the wedding; then afterward, we’ll retire to one of my country estates. But…might I ask why you don’t want to see him?”

She was too upset to appreciate how helpful he was being, or to consider how he might take her answer. “Because he could have ended the betrothal before we even met, but he didn’t. The hell we’ve put each other through is his fault, and I’m not forgiving him for that.”

A few moments passed before he asked, “Alex, if he broke the betrothal now, would your word still stand?”

“Since I promised to marry you unless
you
cried off, I suppose it would.”

“Even if there was no betrothal contract?”

She frowned up at him. “What kind of question is that?”

“A silly one, I suppose, but actually, it’s related to something I’ve been meaning to do. I want to officially ask you to marry me.”

The thrill of pleasure she experienced felt strange next to her pain, and was no more welcome. “You know that isn’t necessary.”

“Humor me, Alex, please. Will you marry me?”

“Yes.”

“Will you give me your word?”

“You’re pushing it, Petroff—”

“Please.”

“All right, you have it, though it’s the last time I’m promising anyone—”

He was kissing her before she’d finished, and Alexandra forgot what she’d gotten huffy about. When he let her go, she was breathless and not a little confused.

“What was that for?”

He grinned at her. “To thank you, because I
was
pushing it.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Next time, just say the words, Petroff.”

V
asili was waiting in the antechamber of the palace chapel for his bride to arrive, his friends keeping him company and ribbing him because he was there so early. He didn’t say so, but he would have had the wedding yesterday if he didn’t think Alexandra would question such haste. But it still couldn’t happen soon enough for him, and he wasn’t going to stop worrying until it was over.

He had managed to avoid Alexandra’s father thus far. With any luck…

Instead of Tanya entering to say Alexandra was on her way, Constantin Rubliov appeared in the doorway, his expression thunderous, his voice nearly as thunderous. “Where have you hidden my daughter?”

Vasili sighed. Luck just hadn’t been on his side, ever since he’d met the man’s daughter. But he was determined to change that.

He glanced at Stefan pointedly. “Would you mind leaving us alone?”

Stefan looked from the angry father, whose
identity was pretty obvious, back to Vasili, and he raised a black brow. “Must I?”

“Dammit, Stefan—”

His cousin chuckled, and with one arm around a curious Lazar and the other around a puzzled Serge, steered them out of the room.

Alone with Constantin, who was now flushing with embarrassment because he had blustered in front of the King of Cardinia without realizing it, Vasili said, “Alex spent the night with the queen’s ladies. We’re about to be married.”

“Wasn’t she told I was here?”

“Yes,” Vasili said, then added reluctantly, “But I’m afraid she doesn’t want to see you, sir.”

Constantin’s embarrassment was abruptly forgotten. “Nonsense. My daughter and I happen to be very close. She—”

Vasili cut in. “Perhaps that’s why she was so hurt by what you did.”

Constantin’s furious expression crumbled. “Then she knows there was never any betrothal?”

“No, she doesn’t. She had already left when my mother told me about your confession. And I chose not to mention it to her. But the betrothal is no longer an issue. I’ve asked her to marry me, and she’s accepted.”

“Then she’s happy with you now?”

“She will be.”

This was said with such determination,
Constantin couldn’t help but believe him. But he had misunderstood.

“Thank God,” he said. “After hearing what your mother had to say about her behavior, I was afraid Alex was never going to accept you, and that was why she finally left. But if she now wants to marry you—”

“I said she
will
be happy, Baron. At the moment, she’s still brooding over finding out that her sweetheart, Leighton, was a worthless bastard who never intended to marry her. I’ve allowed her time to get over him, but once we’re married, she’ll damn well forget him, I promise you that.”

Constantin was frowning by then. “Are you saying she is merely resigned to marrying you? After all the time you’ve had with her?”

“I’m afraid she and I didn’t get off to a good start,” Vasili admitted. “She didn’t want to marry me; I didn’t want to marry her. But after I changed my mind—I’ve spent my life seducing women, Baron. I couldn’t bring myself to seduce the one I’m going to marry. But after we’re married, I won’t be so constrained.”

“If she doesn’t know that there was never any real betrothal, why doesn’t she want to see me?”

“Apparently she hasn’t forgiven you for throwing us together. I, on the other hand, couldn’t be more grateful—at least now. You took a lot upon yourself, Baron. If I didn’t feel the way I do about Alexandra, I would—”

Vasili didn’t get to finish. Tanya had ap
peared, and said, “She’s coming—oh, I beg your pardon.”

“That’s quite all right, Tanya. This is Alexandra’s father.”

The queen nodded, but asked, “And Stefan?”

“In the chapel,” Vasili said.

“Shouldn’t you be waiting at the altar yourself?”

“In a moment.”

With another nod, she left through the door to the chapel. Vasili was now in the uncomfortable position of having to ask his future father-in-law to leave. He didn’t want Alexandra upset again, if she should see him. But once again, his luck wasn’t working.

She was suddenly there, looking so stunningly beautiful in the ivory silk wedding gown adorned with white Belgian lace and tiny seed pearls that he’d ordered made for her, she took his breath away. She had no such difficulty. Noticing her father, she turned around and left before he had seen her.

“Alex!” Vasili called out and started after her. But Constantin was ahead of him. And since the damage was already done, Vasili waited, allowing the baron the opportunity to at least try to make things right with his daughter, and wishing him success.

Alexandra wasn’t going to stop. Those damn tears were threatening again, but she absolutely refused to let them fall this time. She wasn’t going to talk to her father, wasn’t going to…

Constantin caught up with her before she got halfway down the corridor. He tried to take her in his arms, but she drew hers back and up as if to say, “Don’t touch me,” and in fact, she said, “Don’t!” And then, with a glare, she fumed, “I can’t imagine why you’ve come here. You certainly don’t care enough—”

“My God, you know that isn’t true, Alex.”

His stricken look was choking her, but she wasn’t going to be swayed. “That I am here shows how much you cared. I don’t think I’ve ever been more unhappy, and I have you to thank for it.”

“I don’t understand. You and Vasili were extremely well suited. You were greatly attracted to him. Why didn’t you give it a chance?”

“Because I was in love with someone else—or thought I was. You, of course, will be delighted to know what a mistake that was, just as you always maintained,” she said bitterly. “But even if that weren’t so, it would have made no difference between Vasili and me, since he was against the marriage from the start. The only reason he’s reversed his opinion is because he figures he has to marry someday anyway, and he doesn’t want to have to bother courting some other woman—not that he ever bothered to court me.”

“That isn’t the impression—I don’t think that’s why he’s marrying you, Alex. But what is more important here is, how do you feel about him now?”

“What difference can my feelings make when he doesn’t love me?”

“Then you don’t have to marry him,” Constantin said. “I’ll talk to him—”

“Don’t bother. His own mother told him he couldn’t marry me, but he wouldn’t listen. He’s completely reversed his stand. And besides, it’s too late for you to break the betrothal, as you
should
have done. I gave him my word I’d marry him, so the betrothal no longer has anything to do with it. And I will marry him—just as soon as you leave.”

“Alex!”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t forgive you for doing this to me. And—and I have nothing more to say to you.”

She turned her back on him and closed her eyes against the pain welling up inside her. For a long moment there was silence, then his footsteps receding, and that was when the tears started streaming down her cheeks. The lump in her throat felt as if it were going to burst, it was so huge. Oh, God, it was killing her!

Vasili was suddenly there, his arms gathering her against his chest, his voice at her ear, telling her, “I promise you, Alex, I
swear
it, you will be happy with me. And you’re going to want to thank your father one day for bringing us together, so forgive him now. Tell him you forgive him. You won’t regret it.”

She was crying loudly by then, and leaning back, she could barely see Vasili through the
tears, but what she saw was such concern and caring and sincerity and…oh, God, what had she done?

She wrenched herself away from him to run down the corridor, shouting for her father to wait—he had nearly reached the end. And when he finally heard her and turned, she saw that he’d been crying, too, and it tore a sound of anguish from her as she closed the distance and threw herself into his open arms.

“I’m sorry, Papa, I didn’t mean it—I didn’t mean any of it!” she wailed.

“I know, I know. Hush, Alex, it’s all right—”

“It’s not. I wanted to hurt you because I hurt, but it’s not your fault that he doesn’t love me.”

“I think he does, Alex,” Constantin murmured as he wiped the tears from her cheeks.

“He doesn’t—but he will,” she said fiercely. “I’ve been feeling sorry for myself when I should have been fighting for what I want.”

Constantin couldn’t help it; he laughed at that point. “That’s my girl.” And all the pain drained out of Alexandra, hearing it.

She glanced back to see Vasili standing where she’d left him, her golden Adonis, more handsome than words could describe—and he’d just promised to make her happy.

Her smile was nearly blinding when she looked back at her father. “Will you give me away, Papa?”

“Then you do love him?”

“Oh, yes, more than I can say.” And with a grin: “Certainly more than he deserves.”

“Then let’s not hold up this wedding any longer.”