Your Love Is King (15 page)

“I
am
happy, Tiff. I’m actually thinking about moving here permanently.”

“I think you should.”

“Really, Tiff?”

“Yeah. There’s nothing back home but bad memories. If you’re happy there, why not stay?”

I walked over to the door and closed it.

“Um, there’s something I need to tell you about Chris,” I whispered into the phone.

“What is it?” she asked, sounding concerned.

“Well, uh… he’s white.”

“Oh, is that all? I thought he was a murderer or an ex-con or something.”

“So you’re okay with him being white?”

“Well,
is
he an ex-con or a murderer?”

“No! He’s a musician, a preacher’s son.”

“Oh, well, then yeah, I’m okay with it. It wouldn’t matter to me if he was black, white, green, or red. As long as he treats you right, we’ll get along fine.”

I nodded as if she could see me through the phone. “He treats me like a queen.”

“Then he gets my approval.”

“Thanks, Tiff. That means a lot to me.”

“Hey, Mom, there’s one thing I need to say to you.”

“Okay.”

“If you care about him and he’s good to you, then you don’t need anyone’s approval to be with him. Not even mine. It’s your life, Mama. Live it for yourself.”

“Well, well, who exactly is the mother here?” I asked.

“Look, a person doesn’t have to have a baby to know some things. Well, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you soon, I promise. I love you, Mama.”

“I love you, too, Tiff, and I owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

“All these years, I let my folks interfere with how I raised you. I even let them make some decisions I should’ve made for you or helped you to make. I never even asked you if you really wanted to go to Spelman.”

“Aw, Mama. You did the best you could.”

“I guess so, but let me say this—if that’s not the school you chose for yourself and if law is not the career path for you, then change it. I’ll respect whatever you choose to do with your life.”

“Thank you, Mama. I really needed to hear that.”

“You’re welcome. Bye, sweetie.”

“Bye, Mama.”

I ended the call and headed down the hall to the shower, smiling all the while. Yeah, I have to say, at that point, I was pretty happy.

Sixteen

“Nothing Can Come Between Us”

I walked into the kitchen and nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw Carla sitting at the table. I assumed she still lived in the apartment with me, but we hadn’t crossed paths in more than two weeks. I eyed her cautiously as I walked over to the refrigerator.

“Good morning,” she said softly.

I stopped in my tracks and turned around to look at her. Something in her voice didn’t sound right. Sure enough, I could see that her face was wet with tears. “Carla, are you okay?” I asked as I walked over and took a seat at the table.

She laughed bitterly. “No, I’m definitely
not
okay. What are you doing up so early on an off day? I figured it’d be a while before you woke up.”

“Um, Chris and I are gonna drive to Pine Bluff to pick up my car. Carla, what’s wrong?”

“Chris, huh? Must be love ‘cuz you’re glowing.”

I smiled. “Yeah, it’s love. Um… Carla, tell me what’s the matter with you.”

She sighed and shook her head. “I guess I’ve been running around here with all these guys, occupying my mind, and suddenly this morning, I woke up alone for the first time in weeks. It was too quiet, too still, and my mind started reeling.”

“You started thinking about things back home?”

A tear rolled down her cheek as she nodded. “Yeah. You know, Marli, I thought I had it all together. I thought my life was pretty good and I never,
ever
would’ve thought Bryan would cheat on me. I mean, we had the house, the cars, the good jobs, great kids. When I found out he was cheating on me, I couldn’t believe it. I was
devastated
.”

“You
know
I understand how you feel, but there’s just no way to predict if a man will cheat or not, Carla. You just have to pray for your marriage and your family. I believe y’all can still work it out.”

She shook her head. “Too much has happened now. I hate to tell you how many guys I’ve been with since we’ve been here. And what Bryan did is just unforgiveable. It’s over, Marli. My marriage is over, and my family is destroyed.”

I leaned forward and grabbed her hand. “Listen, Carla. Do you still love Bryan?”

She wiped a tear from her cheek. “Marli, it’s not that simple. If me loving him could fix things, we would’ve reconciled months ago.”

“What’s so complicated? You love him, and I’m sure he loves you. You two just have to forgive each other and
make
things work.”

“It’s not that simple! It’s over, Marli. There’s nothing that can save my marriage. It’s… it’s
unfixable
.”

I frowned. “Look, Carla. Nothing’s so broken that it can’t be fixed. You just have to try.”

She sighed. “You remember I told you I caught Bryan with someone from our church?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t make a difference. You can still work things out.”

“It was a man.”

“Huh, what? Who was a man?”

“I caught him in our bed with
another man—
one of the deacons. Now, how we gonna fix
that
, Marli? Tell me how?!” Carla jumped up from her chair and began pacing the floor.

“Um, well… Carla, I… I don’t….” My voice trailed off because I honestly didn’t know what to say.

“Uh-huh,
exactly
. You’re speechless, huh? Imagine how I felt walking into my own house, my own
bedroom
, and finding my husband, the damn love of my life, in bed with another man! How can we fix things when I’m obviously not what Bryan wants?!”

I cleared my throat. “Did… did Bryan say that he was gay or bisexual?”

She laughed bitterly and shook her head. “Of course not. He said he was just experimenting. He said that that was his first and last time with a man. As if I can believe
that
.”

“Well, maybe it’s the truth. How can you say it’s a lie?”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s the truth or a lie, Marli! The fact is that he did it. I
saw
him doing it. Do you understand how that made me feel as a woman? That’s why I’ve been wilding out since we got here. I… I just needed to feel wanted. I wanted to feel like I was enough for someone.
Anyone
.”

I stood and placed my hand on Carla’s shoulder. “Carla, you’re a beautiful, smart woman. You can’t make what Bryan did be about you. It’s about him and whatever he’s got going on inside of him. It doesn’t mean you’re undesirable as a woman.”

Carla slumped back into her chair. “But it
does
mean that I wasn’t enough for him. I mean, had it been a woman, maybe I could’ve competed. I can’t compete with a man. No sense in trying.”

I shook my head. “It’s not about competing. Carla, you need to pray. Pray for healing and for restoration.”

She looked up at me, her eyes filled with tears. “The restoration and healing of my marriage? How’s that possible?”

“Not necessarily your marriage. Pray for the restoration of your hope and the healing of your heart. You can’t decide that what Bryan did is some unpardonable sin, Carla. It’s not for you to judge and determine that. It’s your responsibility to forgive him.”

“And then what? Act like it didn’t happen and hope it won’t happen again?”

I lowered my eyes. “I can’t answer that. I don’t have all the answers. But I do know that nothing’s impossible with God. He can heal and restore your marriage if that’s His will, or He can heal and restore you and give you the strength to go on and raise your sons as a single mother. Just know that whatever you need, He’s got it.”

She nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. I
know
you’re right. It’s just hard to see that when your vision is blinded by so much pain. And anyway, when did you get so spiritual?”

“I’m not a
total
heathen, Carla. Plus, I’ve learned a lot from Chris’s dad during his sermons every Sunday and from Chris, himself. Chris studies the Bible every night. Prays all the time. He’s a good influence.”         

She smiled and sniffled. “I’m sorry, Marli. I’ve been acting such a fool. If I were you, I probably wouldn’t even talk to me anymore.”

“I love you, Carla, and you’ll always be my girl. Just remind me to never share living quarters with you again. You’re a
lousy
roommate.”

She laughed. “Yeah, I am. So… are you moving in with Chris?”

I shook my head. “Naw, he’s too good a guy for me to be shacking up with. I wanna do things right with him. I have more than enough experience with doing things the wrong way.”

“That’s smart of you. So… uh, are you two getting serious?”

I nodded. “We’re definitely getting closer. Carla, he’s sweet and kind, and he’s so good to me. I never thought I could be this happy with
anyone
.”

“So you finally got over him being white? He’s not
Justin Timberfake
anymore, huh?”

I laughed. “Funny thing is, the more I got to know him, the more his color didn’t matter. He’s just Chris to me now, and he’s wonderful. I think I could see us having a future together.”

“I’m really happy for you, Marli. If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s you.”

“Thanks, Carla.”

A knock at the door interrupted our conversation. “That must be Chris now,” I said.

“All right, y’all have a safe trip. I’ma go and pray now and try to piece my life back together.”

“Sounds like a good plan. I’ll be praying for you.  I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay.”

Minutes later, Chris and I were walking across the parking lot to his car. When he stopped at a shiny, black Lincoln Navigator, I frowned.

“You rented this for the trip? Chris, you didn’t have to do that. The rate must be outrageous!”

He smiled. “Uh, no… I bought it yesterday. I thought it would be a more comfortable ride.”

“Um, Chris? You’re saying you bought this truck yesterday? Are you taking it back or something?”

He laughed. “No, baby. I
bought
it. It’s mine.”

“Chris, this is like a fifty-thousand-dollar vehicle. Your note must be ridiculous! Are you sure you can afford this? Is the Mercedes paid off, or did you trade it in or something?”

He opened the door for me. “Thanks for being concerned about me, but I’m fine. I can afford it.”

I climbed into the huge SUV and fastened my seatbelt. I
was
concerned. How could Chris possibly afford all of this? Was he into something he didn’t want me to know about? I was sure my worry was written all over my face when he climbed into the driver’s seat.

He leaned over and kissed me. “Ah, stop worrying. It’s all right, baby. I got some money saved up. I’m not breaking myself.”

I nodded then turned and looked him in the eye. “Uh-huh. Chris, are you selling drugs or something?”

He threw his head back and laughed. “Come on, Marli. You know I’m not a drug dealer. I’m a preacher’s kid, remember?”

“Well, I’m just trying to figure out how you can afford all this stuff. The band can’t be making
that
much. Y’all only perform a couple of nights a week. Plus you have to split the money. I love you, but I don’t want to be in the middle of anything illegal. You know my past. I know what the end result of that life can be and I don’t think I could stand it if something happened to you.”

He leaned closer to me and rubbed my neck with his fingertip. “Baby, nothing’s gonna happen to me because I’m not doing anything illegal. I got some money saved up, that’s all.”

I sighed. “You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?”

He shook his head. “I promise you, I am telling the truth. I bought everything I have with legal money. I’m strictly legit.”

“Okay,” I said and then rubbed my finger across the diamond and silver cross that hung from my necklace. It had been a gift from Chris a few days earlier, and I’d thought it was pretty expensive.

“
Everything
, including that necklace,” he said.

I nodded and then peered out the window as we pulled out of the parking lot.

~*~