Yours Book 1: Losing My Innocence (7 page)

I try my best to hold a tight smile on my face, but I am sure I probably look like a tortured cat determined not to let go of the evidence he is being tortured for. Tears burn the backs of my eyes and I feel like the world’s biggest brat as I think of calling Luke to thank him. I just need to get out of this building before I crack.

As the elevator opens in the lobby, Kimmie pushes through the crowd as she pulls me along with her. We almost make it to the doors when it all comes crashing down. There he is standing in the lobby with a group of man laughing and looking as handsome as ever. I can just imagine that he is telling them the tale of the foolish girl he tricked into signing a five-year contract with his company just this morning.

I bury my face in Kimmie’s shoulder to muffle the sob I can no longer hold on to. I can’t look back at him or the others in the building. I am humiliated. Somehow I will return to this building tomorrow, but I just need to get through today.

O
nce we make
it to the apartment, I tell Kimmie everything. From the first time I met Nicholas Lincoln, the graduation party, to today. I sob my way through the whole story leaving my voice raw and my head throbbing. Kimmie is lost for words when I am done and she looks completely confused.

“I don’t know Soph,” Kimmie shakes her head. “I think you should call him. Let him explain because something doesn’t add up.”

“She’s beautiful Kim, what would he want with me,” I sob.

“Soph, there are a number of things wrong with what you just said, but I still think you should call him. Jillian may be beautiful, but she is a lot of other things as well, and being involved with Nick, I don’t believe is one of them.”

“Luke is right, I should just stay away from him,” I sniffle.

“Well…I understand why Luke believes that, but Luke is one to talk. I told you before, it may not be what you expect, but it is for you to decide if it is for you, it may be good for you.”

“Whatever it is, I won’t be finding out now anyway. I refuse to show up at some restaurant and be stood up or worst find him there with her.”

“I think this is a bad idea, and I think… no, I know he is going to be pissed. You should at least call him.”

“Who’s side are you on anyway?” I pout throwing a pillow at her as I swipe at a few stray tears.

“Always yours,” Kimmie smiles sadly. “I just want to see you happy.”

“I’ll be okay. I will walk in there tomorrow like nothing happened, do my job and when I am done, I will go home like everyone else.”

Kimmie sighs and gives me a weak smile looking like she is fighting her hardest to hold in the rest of what she wants to say. I stand and go to give her a hug. It is great just to have someone listen. I know she just wants to see me happy, but I have made up my mind I will not be made a fool of.

“I’m going to take a shower and lay down. Maybe we can order some Thai later and watch a movie,” I offer.

“Sure, I’ll be here,” Kimmie smiles.

I go to my room feeling a little better, being all cried out and having talked to Kimmie. It still hurts really bad to be made a fool of, but I have been through worse. I will get over this. I will just stay in my league if I ever do think about dating again.

I strip out of my clothes and make my way into the shower to wash the day away. Using the hottest water I can stand to wash Nicholas Lincoln out of my system. As I scrub at my skin, my hand grazes the butterfly around my neck and I make mental note that it is definitely coming off and being returned.

Once my skin is almost raw and I feel drained I step from the shower and wrap in a towel, letting my heavy hair drip down my back. I look in the mirror to see how puffy my eyes are as I pull moisturizer and a brush through my hair. I look a mess. I sigh, giving up on my hair that has needed attention since this morning and walking back into my bedroom.

I yelp as I lift my head and jump clear in the air reaching to tighten my towel. Nick is here in my room, just staring at me. His face is hard and he is standing stock still.

His tie is loosened; his suit jacket is tossed over the armed chair in the corner of my room. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled to his elbows and he looks as if his hands have had several passes through his hair. His eyes travel the length of me and he licks his bottom lip as he passes his hand through his hair yet again as if reigning in control.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” I stutter. “How did you get in here?”

“The questions here should be why are you here? Why have I been waiting for you to join me for dinner when you obviously intended to stand me up?” Is his reply in a deadly quiet tone.

“I would like you to leave, please,” I manage in almost a whisper.

Instead of collecting his jacket and walking out he stalks over to me, getting so close I can taste the current coming off of him. He places one hand on my waist and the other in my damp hair. I want to pull away, I really do, but my body is only obeying his commands.

“I think you should go. You don’t have to worry. I will still come to work in the morning,” I breathe.

“I. Only. Want. You,” he growls before covering my mouth with his, seeming to have lost some of his carefully constructed control.

I have never been kissed before, but I am sure this is one of the hottest kisses ever given. He starts with just his lips pressed to mine. Then his tongue teases the seam of my lips, bidding entrance to the warmth of my mouth. His hand in my hair tightens into a fist tilting my head back to give him better claim as his other hand moves to his favorite spot on the small of my back pulling me closer to him.

His lips are firm, yet soft and full as they pressed against mine. He slides his tongue along my bottom lip pulling it into his mouth coaxing a moan from deep within me as I open my mouth more to him, allowing his tongue deeper access to mine.

The taste of him is so delicious, so strong I moan again as he causes our tongues to slide and dance together. There goes my tummy again doing things I really have yet to gain control or understanding of. And it just goes south from there when he releases a deep growling moan of his own.

“You’re mine Sephora,” he breathes against my neck as he kisses his way down to my collarbone. “I want to punish you for making me wait and for standing me up tonight.”

That is a bucket of ice cold water. I push at his chest and step out of his reach. I have to blink back the lust and confusion. I need to be clear that I heard him right. Only, when I look at him and his words echo in my head, between my legs starts to clinch. What does he mean punish me? I must look as puzzled as I feel.

His face softens a little and he steps toward me. I take a tentative step backward wanting to keep the distance. I tug my towel tighter and lift my chin. His eyes start to gleam as a smile tugs the corners of his lips.

“So Lucian was right, Kimberly Ann hasn’t spilled our little secret has she,” Nick purrs. “Well the cat is about to come out of the bag isn’t it?”

“What?” I ask trying to work my way through my earlier conversations with Kimmie.

“I was sure she told you by now.”

“Told me what,” I am reaching for pieces of what Kimmie said earlier and coming up short. This man is too distracting. He closes the distance between us and places his hands in my hair. Nick brings his face to my neck and runs his nose along my skin to my ear, leaving a trail of fire and sending a shiver through me.

“It pains me that it will be me to tell you. I already have so many plans for your innocence, but maybe it is only right that it is me. You’re so natural at it baby, you were meant for me,” he murmurs against the sensitive skin behind my ear.

I am panting and clinging to his shirt and his every word. All at once something clicks. Kimmie’s words, Luke’s warning, Nick’s threat to punish me and Craig.
I understand the reaction to Craig.
I gasp in realization and cling tighter to his shirt.

I know what the warning about Nick mean. Kimmie had told me little stories of guys she had been with. I know what she is into. It just didn’t hit me until now because I shied away from those stories and the details. I could never think of Kimmie that way, she is so sweet I cannot see her having a dark side, but Nick makes sense.

“Ah, I see maybe you do understand,” Nick murmurs as he runs his fingers down my arms.

“I- I don’t want you to hurt me,” I barely hear myself.

“My intention is not to harm you, Baby. I will bring you nothing but pleasure.”

“I don’t think I can do this.”

“I know you can. I knew it the first time I laid eyes on you. I knew your brother would want to kill me, but I also knew I had to have you.”

“But I never–,” I start but his lips are covering mine again taking from me greedily.

“I won’t rush you Sephora, I will make you mine one step at a time. Savoring every first I give you. Just like I’ve savored our night by the pool,” he says with a wolfish grin.

My mind is racing. Is this something I want? Am I really submissive? I start to think about some of the women Luke has been with. Were they all Subs, is Nina? I have so many questions and I want to ask Kimmie everything. If Luke’s friends are into that life does that mean he is too?

“What are you thinking,” Nick asks and kisses my temple.

“Is Jillian one of your subs,” I spit out the first thing that comes to my lips.

“I do remember telling you that Jillian is my personal assistant. Sephora, our relationship is one that is based on trust. I won’t lie to you and you will always be able to trust me and what I say.”

“It’s just, she made it seem like you would say or do anything to get me to sign the job contract and then I guess I assumed she was telling me there was more between the two of you,” I admit.

“Kimmie told me what happened and what you thought. I will take care of Jillian, but I have to be honest. I was ready to tie you up and spank you. I told you how I feel about you Sephora, I am not a man to play games.”

I gasp at his admission, but I did not back away this time. Nick reaches for my hand and entwined his fingers with mine. His jade eyes lock with mine and he pulls me flush against him. I can feel his arousal press into my belly, sparking a reaction of my own.

“I’m sorry. I should have called like Kimmie said.”

“You’re forgiven this time. It really is my own fault. I noticed something seemed off with you when you left work. I will have to be a more observant boyfriend from now on.”

“Boyfriend,” I ask coyly feeling like a silly schoolgirl.

“Yes, boyfriend Sephora. I want your submission, but I want so much more.”

I am shocked silent. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his warm chest. Oh, how I have dreamed of his scent. It has been way too long since I have been privy to it. He smells like a sweet musk, fresh mountain rain and spice. I just want to eat him up and he is mine, really all mine. I shivered at the thought.

“As much as I am loving you in this towel you are getting cold. Get dressed, we will order in since it is too late for our reservation,” he orders and kisses the tip of my nose, running his hand over my curves one last time.

D
inner with Nick was amazing
. He ordered from an Italian restaurant and his driver picked it up for us. We talked and he listened to me, I could tell he was really interested in the words I spoke.

Nick made me feel special. I also felt very wanted with his hungry gazes and his hungrier kisses. We didn’t speak of the nature of our relationship, but I was sure he would be willing to answer any questions that I had. We mostly talked about the time between us meeting and my father’s death. That was a rough time for me and my family.

Nick understood because he played a large part in helping Luke through it. I had school and Kimmie, if I was really honest about it I had Mark too. My family went from thinking we would lose everything in my parent’s ugly divorce to burying my father who had damaged every relationship that once seemed so precious to him.

I didn’t know how to feel when we got the call that he had a massive heart attack and died. With all the hateful things he did to our family I thought I would never forgive him. I sometimes wonder if he really forgot to change his will or if that was his way to make up for all the things he did. The biggest hurt for me was when he refused to pay for school and told me and Ettie not to call him anymore if we were going to stay in touch with my mother.

Nick was understanding as I spoke of the wounds it all left behind. I never felt good enough and when my own father didn’t want me it just drove home my short comings. I guess that’s another reason I felt I had to keep my promise to Nick about doing well in school. I had to prove I was good enough at something. Never did I think it would get me my new job or the opportunity to do what I really love.

I remember falling asleep in Nick’s arms as he ran his hand through my hair. When I woke up this morning, I wondered if it was all just a dream, until I found a note beside my head on my pillow.

I was so giddy I danced my way through getting ready for work. I wanted to make a great impression and make Nick proud of me. He already put so much faith in me and my ability to handle such as important position. I have to admit I am a little nervous. I dressed in a simple black pants suit and a cream colored silk blouse. My cream colored strappy heels completed my outfit for success. Today would be much better than yesterday.

Once I have my makeup done and my hair tamed, I am ready for the day. I make it into the kitchen before Kimmie has to start yelling for me. She has her coffee in hand and is smiling over the rim of her mug. I know I am glowing this morning. I can’t help it. My new job, new boyfriend, life is perfect.

“So, I guess you guys worked things out,” Kimmie beams, “I locked up after he left this morning. Might I say, still looking amazing.”

“I don’t think it is possible for the man to ever not look amazing. And yes, we worked things out,” I chime.

“I told you there was more to it,” Kimmie says matter-of-factly.

“I know I should have listened to you.” I want to ask more about her and my brother’s circle and their, for lack of better a word, habits. I’ve been curious all night and I want answers from Kim not Nick. “So, BDSM, and you are not a sub are you?”

“Waste no time did he,” Kimmie sighs. “No, I tried the sub role once, didn’t work too well for me. I prefer to be the Dom or should I say Domme? Although I have considered rethinking that once or twice if a certain Dom ever becomes available again.”

I wrinkle my nose at her. “I am still not sure what it all means or what it means to our relationship. I mean Nick called me his girlfriend last night, but that is about the most I am sort of clear on.”

“Don’t over think it Sophi, Nick will make sure you are safe. Just trust him.”

“Easy for you to say,” I grumble.

“You have nothing to worry about. Nick is crazy about you. You should have seen him when he got here last night. He looked like a love sick puppy until he found out why you stood him up. Besides, I’ll never let anything happen to you.”

I sigh heavily still not sure what I am getting myself into with Nick’s habits. Right now I refuse to let it be the elephant in the room, we will get there when we get there. I finish off my glass of apple juice and start for the door with Kimmie following behind.

We step out of the building heading for the concierge to call a cab. A driver steps away from a black SUV parked in front of the complex gate opening the back door. “Miss. Emilsson, Miss. Clove, my name is Winston, Mr. Lincoln has sent me to insure you get to work this morning.” I look at Kimmie with my mouth open.

I can’t believe him. I am used to things like this from when I was younger, but it has been so long since my father had provided me with a driver. Kimmie and I would have had no problem sharing a cab to work.

We climb in and Kimmie starts squealing as soon as the driver closes the door. The ride to work is not that long, but I have enough time to send a text to my boyfriend. I just hope he has time to text me back.

.

This man is pure trouble for my heart, I tell you. I can see the sexy smile on his face as he sent those texts. It makes me smile just thinking about it.

B
eing
an executive is as demanding as it sounds. From the time I entered the office, I had questions and projects being thrown at me. I didn’t even get to sit down in my office for fifteen minutes before my first meeting. It is noon and it will be my first time back to my office. I am so involved in checking my tablet, I don’t notice the huge banquet of white roses or the man sitting on my desk beside them.

“I thought I’d do something about you missing me, but it seems I am keeping you too busy to notice anymore,” Nick chuckles.

My head snaps up at his voice and I am stunned to see the amazing looking man sitting before me in a navy blue suit and light grey dress shirt.
Yum Sephora, we did something very right.
I know I did, didn’t I, because he is here to see me.

“Hi,” I breathe as I remember how to use my mouth.

“Come here, Sephora,” he commands.

I lower the tablet to my side and make my way to him. I look behind me to make sure I closed the door and I notice he must have drawn the blinds. I step right between his legs and place my tablet on the desk. Nick reaches for my hair, combing his hands through.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs. “Turn around Sephora.”

I love the way he says my name, like it alone produces his air to breathe. I do as he asks and turn until my back is to him. Nick reaches around to unbutton my blazer, smoothing his hands up to my shoulders and pulling the blazer off. He places it on the desk beside him and places his hands on my waist, pulling me back into his lap. Once he has me where he wants me he pushes my hair away from one shoulder and starts a trail of kisses from my ear down my neck. Slowly his hands splay across my stomach and slide up to cup my breasts.

His hands are so large and strong yet I spoil through them as he begins to knead my breasts gently. I know it won’t take long for me to go soaring. I am already panting as my back arches to fill his hands all the more. I nestle back into him and feel his arousal press into my butt.

I moan and my head falls back against his shoulder. I am lost once he begins to flick my hardened nipples. He groans in my ear and begins to flick his tongue against my skin. I clench my thighs together as all sensation shoots right to my core, causing me to ache and pulse. I am gasping for control as he slips one hand around my neck coaxing my mouth toward him.

He slips his tongue in my mouth for a deep hungry kiss. I am consumed by him and his touch. His hand slightly tightens on my throat, but my instinct to panic doesn’t kick in like I would think it should, instead heat sparks in my veins and shots to my core.

“You’re going to come for me, Baby,” he commands. “Now!”

With his words and another flick of my nipple followed by a rough pinch and I go flying higher than the last time he showed me ecstasy. Within a few minutes I come spiraling down, this is so much harder than my first orgasm. This time I come crying out his name as he catches my moans with his mouth. I am aching for more. I crave his touch. Nick wraps his arms around me, pulling me against his chest. Placing feather soft kisses to my temple.

“I love how you respond to me. Are you still missing me?” he chuckles in my ear.

“Mm-hum, I want more,” I sigh.

“More you shall have Sephora, the next time I make you come, I want to taste you,” Nick says against my ear before taking a nip. I turn to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. Reaching for my blazer he leans in to kiss the corners of my mouth. Once my jacket is back on and buttoned again Nick pecks my lips.

“Dinner is at my place tonight, no pants,” he chuckles and slaps my behind. I jump a little to his amusement and he swats me again before cupping my cheek and squeezing as he leans in for one last kiss. He stands and strolls toward the door.

“Nick,” I call after him. He turns and meets my gaze. “Thank you for the flowers.”

“Anything for you, Sephora.”

He is gone before I can say another word. I guess that means I needed to get back to work. I smoothed my hair back into place as I sit at my desk smiling to myself. S
o much for professional behavior in the office,
I chuckle to myself. There are more perks to this job then I thought.

I work my way through some programming before my next meeting with my team. I will be formally introducing myself this afternoon. I have to say I am nervous about that. I’m not sure how the others will take me. Everyone knows how badly Nick wanted to bring me onto the team, that just makes this awkward. There are some great programmers on staff.

I shake my hands out nervously as I look at the clock seeing it is time to make my way to the boardroom. I’ll need a trip to the restroom first. The meeting is scheduled for twenty minutes from now and I want to be a little early. I looked up at the roses on my desk and smile. I reach for the card to read it before my meeting, hoping that Nick’s words will bring me confidence for this meeting.

I smile from ear to ear as I read the card again. I know Luke warned me to be careful, but I know I am already falling for Nick. Who am I kidding? I have always been in love with him from afar. It is just being justified now and growing rapidly. I hope I can handle this relationship. I want it more than anything.

I snap out of my reverie realizing I really needed to get to the boardroom and get my head in the game. I can settle personal matters later. I grab my tablet and set off to the meeting. I receive stares and warm smiles as I pass by the cubicles. I start to feel self-conscious, wondering, did I put myself back together well enough after my visit from Nick.

Can they tell what we were doing in my office? Was I louder than I should have been? I feel the blush creep across my face as my thoughts get the best of me. I take in a deep breath and try to relax. This is not the time to freak out.

After a quick trip to the restroom, I make my way to the boardroom. As I enter the boardroom, I groan inwardly.
Now, this would be the time to freak out.
Nick is sitting on the right, at the head of the table. I was not expecting him to be at this meeting. It is just a meet and greet for my team. I plan to get to know everyone’s my name and face and go over the projects and the progress of the team.

Nick looks up from his tablet and gives me a sexy grin. I release the breath I didn’t realize I am holding and push myself forward into the room. His intense gaze remains on me as I go to take a seat in the middle of the table. He shakes his head at me.

“Come here,” he says firmly. I walk over to where he is seated and he stands to pull out the chair at the top of the table. “This is your team. You will lead them from here. Sit.”

“Thank you,” I murmur.

I take the seat he offers, placing my tablet on the table and smoothing my sweaty palms on my slacks. Nick takes his seat once again and returns his attention to his tablet. I still have ten minutes to spare. I open my notes and look over the points I wanted to touch upon.

Nick leans in toward me and crook his finger for me to bend my head to his. “You will be fine, Sephora. I would not have given you this position if I didn’t think you could do it. Just relax. Don’t let them see your nerves,” he says softly while giving me a reassuring smile.

“Okay,” I sigh and nod my head.

“Breathe, Baby,” his eyes drop to my lips and his smile broadens.

Nick continues to murmur to me about the project list and his expectations as the room starts to fill. I find myself much more relaxed as we start to talk about the programs and the ideas I have after looking over the files and projections for my department.

Nick is really easy to talk to as a boss. I am not sure if that is because he is trying to relax me or if it is because he is my boyfriend. As more people come in he starts to greet others with the same easy manner which makes me relax further.

I smile as Kimmie, Lily, and my new assistant Regina enters the room. They all make their way over to sit lined up to my left. Mark walks in not too long after they take a seat further down the table. Once the top of the hour arrives, I look at Nick for guidance and he gives me a slight nod to go ahead and start.

“I want to thank everyone for coming to this meeting. I know you all have a lot on your plates and I won’t take more of your time than I need,” I start. “I am Sephora Emilsson and I am your new team manager. I want to get to know you all by name and face since we will be working closely together to insure we are meeting Mr. Lincoln’s expectations. If we can just go around the table, give your name and what you do here at FLI, that will help me become familiar with everyone.”