Yours Book 2: Gaining Experience (Yours Series) (7 page)

N
ick

I
have always known
this day was coming for me. I just wasn’t looking to see it this soon. Not now when I have found the love of my life. Things are not supposed to be falling apart like this. Yet, I feel like the world is falling down around me.

I don’t need Kevin and his team to tell me that the shit is about to hit the fan. Someone has placed their hands on Pandora’s box and they are about to open it. I have spent so much money to bury so much, but there were loose ends I was never able to get close to without being too close to the flame.

Ivana
, hearing that name come off of Sephora’s lips was like a punch to the gut. I once thought I was in love. I believe I was to an extent. I cared deeply for Ivana. She was my first in a lot of things.

We had been two years apart, Ivana being older. I was nineteen when I met her. Ivana had been full of life and experience. I had been shy at first. My father kept such a tight hold on everything I did, I didn’t open up too many or make many friends.

Kevin, Luke, and Wyatt had been my only real friends and the only people I kept close. Everyone else wanted something. The four of us had one thing in common. We had secrets and responsibilities. Not one of them forced me out of my comfort zone. I respected that.

So when it came time for college and we all ended up on the East coast I kept to my same small circle. Wyatt had been the most outgoing. He was also the only one out of my friends that hadn’t gone to boarding school with me. My dad had forged our friendship through trips and summer vacations.

I met Ivana one night when Wyatt dragged us all out to a club with him. She was the total opposite of Sephora. Tall, blonde, with dark eyes and confidence for days. She walked right up to me and pulled me out onto the dance floor with her.

Her smile lit up the world. I needed that. My father was smothering me. My whole life was planned out for me. I didn’t know how to have fun. I was always the most serious out of all my friends.

From that first night, Ivana injected my life with fun. She opened up a world I never knew existed. Then Ivana showed me how to take control. She brought me into a new world and I dragged my friends right in with me.

By then we had grown in numbers. Remi and Ramses had joined our group as did Andrew, Craig, and George. I still hadn’t become an open book to more than Luke, Kevin, and Wyatt, but I had opened up to having more friends around.

Ivana was like the center to our little group. She kept us in line and kept us focused. It was never anything sorted. Everyone knew she was mine. Ivana was just our glue. Like a sister to the guys, but she was my world for so long.

One day that all changed. My world’s collided. I thought my mother and father would approve of Ivana, but I was so wrong and everything just went wrong from there. The guys are the only ones outside of me that know the truth of most of all that happened and we all like to pretend that none of it happened.

Especially Kevin, he has always felt like he failed me somehow. There was nothing he could have done. The people to blame are no longer breathing. At least most of the people to blame are no longer amongst the living. I have a feeling I will be getting to take care of the rest soon.

Wyatt’s voice brings me back to the call I am on. I left Sephora to make this call. I am now standing on my back deck looking out at the ocean. The view is calming against my raging insides.

“I’m all over this one. I’ve wanted to find that slippery bastard for years now,” Wyatt clips into the phone.

“My sister is involved in this shit now,” Luke growls. “You and I know this is the real reason I wanted you to stay away from her, Nick. Whatever you need, it’s yours. This one now falls in all of our backyards.”

“I appreciate that Luke, but you and I both know this was coming to your door one way or another. Sephora was never exempt from this. Anyone any of us have loved have been moving targets for the last eight years,” I point out in frustration. I love Luke, but he can have tunnel vision when he wants to.

“Pointing fingers will do us no good,” Andrew says sternly. “Nick is right, this has been coming for us and it has been well played, but I’m tired of playing. It’s time we get our hands just as dirty.”

“I agree,” Kevin grits.

“I feel the same. Things are different this time. I plan to be the last man standing this round. Losing is not an opposition. Find that bastard, Kev, and find out once and for all who is helping him pull these fucking strings,” I snap and end the call.

I want to toss my phone right through the glass doors behind me. My time is up and it is much too soon. I have to come clean. My dark past is about to make or break the one person I truly love. The one person that has never wanted anything from me but love.

I can only hope that my little butterfly doesn’t turn and fly away from me. I am going to need her now more than ever. I will rip this world apart, tear any obstacle that stands in my way down, before I lose Sephora, make no mistakes about that.

Those are my thoughts as I watch the sea begin to rage to match the emotions rolling inside me. A storm is coming, but I am the eye at the center of it. I have always been the one to watch.

S
ephora

N
ick has been unusually quiet
. Kimmie and I have spent most of the day lounging around in front of the TV. Winston and Kevin stopped in to inform us that we would be working from home until further notice. I didn’t protest. Something in Nick’s eyes this morning silenced my need to assert my independence.

I have so many questions swirling in my brain, but I am trying to be patient. There is no question that Nick has to start talking if we are going to remain in this relationship. He has put this off long enough.

There are things in his past that have made him the man he is today. He has said as much.
‘Baby, you know that I have a particular preference in the bedroom. There are reasons for that preference.’

I remember his words clearly. I also remember the look he gave me when I went to ask him to elaborate. And I remember his promise to tell me those reasons.
‘In time we’ll get to those reasons,’
were his words.

I think we are at a point that I need him to make good on that promise. I know Nick will protect me, but I just have this sinking feeling that tells me we are all about to be blindsided. I, for one, have had enough of being blindsided.

The more honest Nick is with me the better prepared I can be for whatever is headed our way. I am sure of it. My thoughts are rattling in circles when I hear voices headed our way.

Nick stepped out a few minutes ago. I am surprised when Nick and Luke enter the room, followed by Ettie and Andrew and my mother. I haven’t spoken to my mother in weeks.

I sigh when I realize I am wearing sleep pants and a tank top. My hair is a wild frizzy mess. I frown at my thoughts and shrug it off. This is the place I call home. I don’t have to apologize for being relaxed in my own home.

“Well, it is good to see my daughter is still alive. I thought something must have happened to you. I didn’t think it possible that you could go weeks without talking to your own mother and be in good health,” Mother starts right away.

“Faraz,” Nick sighs. “Sephora has been very busy with work.”

“You are such a dear, Nick. I appreciate you trying to cover for my daughter, but she knows she is wrong,” she replies to Nick.

I can almost see steam coming out of his ears. Once again like inside of the conference room yesterday I find my voice and my backbone. I stand and move next to Nick before he tells my mother off and throws her out.

Placing my hand in Nick’s I squeeze gently. “Hello mother, last I checked the phone works both ways. I don’t believe I have changed my number. I also don’t recall seeing any missed calls. I was only without a phone for two days tops. Though I doubt you tried to call during that time. You are looking lovely today, so I am assuming you have been, well,” I say and lift a brow at my mother.

Her mouth drops open and Nick squeezes my hand back. I peek at him from the corner of my eyes and see a smile on his lips. I turn to see Ettie with a proud grin of her own and Andrew is trying to smother a laugh.

Luke on the other hand, has his attention focused on one person and one person only. I don’t even think he has heard any of the exchange as his eyes devour Kimmie, who sits frozen on the couch looking right back at him. My heart breaks for her as tears start to swim in her eyes.

Before I can make a move to console her, she is on her feet headed for the nearest bathroom. It won’t be long before that secret is out. I sigh and turn back to my mother who happens to just be recovering.

“Yes, well, I wish I could say the same for you, dear. You should wait to get a ring on your finger before you stop presenting your best. You wouldn’t want to send Nick running off to the next pretty and more suitable option,” my mother retorts.

Nick snorts and I swear he growls. “Sephora is just as beautiful to me now as she is dressed in the latest fashion, with a face full of makeup. Actually, I love her even more this way. Faraz, you are going to have to find a way to refrain from speaking the way you do to my future wife. I don’t like it and I don’t want my children hearing it.

“If you intend to be a part of our lives and our family’s life, then you need to bury those problems you have with yourself and stop trying to impose them on Sephora,” Nick says with finality.

“Wow, if I didn’t like you before, I am in love with you now,” Ettie smiles at Nick.

“Nicholas, I never,” Mother says and lifts her chin.

“Faraz, I think that is the problem. You never and it is time you did,” Nick says with a lifted brow.

I can see my mother stewing, but she also knows that Nick is very serious. I wish I could fist pump right now to see my mother firmly put in her place. I want to pat myself on the back for sticking up for myself as well. I haven’t been calling her because I am tired of her verbally battering me.

It doesn’t escape my notice that Luke is no longer in the room. I will bet my life he is standing sentinel outside of the bathroom Kimmie is in, emptying the contents in her stomach. Boy is he in for a surprise.

“Maybe we can all have a seat now,” Andrew suggests. Ever the diplomat.

Nick pulls me over to the accent chair he had been sitting in earlier and pulls me into his lap. Mother makes her way over to a chair and sits dramatically. Ettie shakes her head as she and Andrew take a seat together on the couch.

Just then Kimmie and Luke return to the room. Kimmie is fidgeting with the hem of her shirt as she walks a few steps ahead of Luke. Luke looks like he is in physical pain as he watches her every move.

I sigh. She has to tell him the truth and soon. I promised her I would be there for her when she does. I just don’t think this is the ideal time to let that cat out of the bag. My mother can make a stressful situation worse with just her presence so I roll my lips in, to hold in the words that want to fly out of my mouth.

As if reading my mind, Nick leans into my ear to whisper. “If he doesn’t figure it out on his own, we’ll wait for your mother to leave and then she can tell him. We’ll be there for both of them.”

I turn to look Nick in the eyes. He winks at me. I guess it wouldn’t be too hard to figure it out after spending the day with Kimmie. She has spent most of it running to the bathroom.

I snuggle into his warmth. I don’t think I could ask for a better man. I find myself smiling as my mother and Ettie launch into talk of the wedding. God will I be happy when my sister is finally married.

* * *

N
ick

There was no way I was going to sit back and let Faraz gun for Sephora right here in my own home. I have no problems putting her in her place. Although I was so proud of Sephora for sticking up for herself.

My mind has been on the problem that is brewing. I hadn’t been expecting the entire Emilsson family. Luke had said he was coming to see Sephora, but I’m no fool. Once I told him Kimmie was staying here, there was no way he wasn’t coming to my home.

I have the one thing that Luke can’t live without, sleeping under my roof. He has been miserable without Kimmie. For months he has been stewing in his mistake. You can see the regret swimming in his eyes.

I know once he realizes that he is about to be a father, he is going to be a wreck. I am here for him. Lucian and I may luck horns, but we are always there for each other. It has always been that way between us. He was there for me with Ivana. I will be there for him now.

It didn’t take me long to figure out what was going on with Kimmie. Even with everything going on in my mind, I noticed something was up. I was sure of it by mid-morning. I figure out exactly what it was by this afternoon.

Maybe this is what Luke needs. He is so sure he can never come back from the damage of the past, but I think he just need to have something that will call him from the darkness the way Sephora has called me back.

Everyone is more relaxed now that Andrew and Ettie have taken Faraz home. The woman could drive anyone bat shit crazy. I couldn’t wait for dinner to end. She wouldn’t throw jabs directly at Sephora, but her eyes spoke volumes. My little soldier held her own though. Sephora sat through dinner with her head held high in her lounge wear and all.

“Why are you going to the bathroom so much,” Luke asks as Kimmie reenters the room.

It is the first time he has spoken a word directly to Kimmie all night. His face is pale as he asks the question. I think he has already figured the answer out. The blood drains from Kimmie’s face as well. She shoots Sephora a pleading look.

I squeeze Sephora’s thigh to keep her in place at my side. Luke stands and moves to stand in front of Kimmie. Kimmie is still twisting the fabric of her tee shirt in her fingers. Her head is down as she looks to her feet.

Luke places his finger underneath Kimmie’s chin and lifts her face to his. He leans down until they are face to face, nose to nose. You can feel the anxiety coming off of both of them. I don’t realize that I am holding my breath for Kimmie’s answer until she speaks.

“I’m pregnant,” she whispers.

Luke stiffens right before my eyes. “Come again,” Luke says in shock, a mask of awe written all over his face.

“I’m about three months pregnant,” Kimmie repeats.

I see the single tear that slides down Luke’s cheek. “You were pregnant that night,” he chokes out.

Kimmie nods as a pained expression takes over her face. “Yes,” she says softly. “I didn’t know then.”

I watch my friend’s knees buckle right from underneath him. If his arms didn’t move to wrap securely around Kimmie’s waist, he would have toppled her over.

I have never seen Luke cry. Not even when I sat next to him as he received the phone call that his father had died. I was with him the whole time right up until the day of the funeral when I had to return to California to see to my own business affairs.

I watch as he holds Kimmie with his face in her belly, rocking them back and forth as a deep sob rakes through his body. It is enough to chill my bones. Sephora gasps next to me at the sound of her brother falling apart.

I pull her into my lap and hold her tight to keep her from interfering. I already feel like we are intruding on an intimate moment. Once I am sure that Kimmie is okay, we are going to give them the space they need. I know Sephora will worry about her otherwise.

“I knew we shouldn’t have tried to play that night. I knew I was too far gone before we started. I’m so sorry, Baby,” Luke says with thick emotion. “I put you and our baby in danger. I’m so, fucking sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I saw when I lost you. I saw the moment I should have stopped you. I knew when I’d reached my limit. I was the one that never said anything,” Kimmie sods as she cups the back of Luke’s head.

“I love you so much. It kills me that I hurt you. That I let my past hurt you,” Luke breathes into her stomach.

“I love you, too. I missed you so much. I’m sorry I broke our trust,” Kimmie sobs.

Luke claws at her back. “Shh, this isn’t your fault. I can read you like the back of my hand. I should have pulled back, I never should have given in. I knew my head was fucked up.”

I decided that this is the point where Sephora and I leave. Tears are streaming down Sephora’s face. I know her heart is breaking for both her brother and her best friend. I have to admit I am almost moved to tears.

I would be gutted if I ever lost sight and hurt Sephora in a time that is supposed to be meant for pleasure. Luke is right, he knows better than to take a sub, any sub, but especially one he cares for, to play during a time when he gets as dark as he does.

I know he didn’t mean for his sadistic side to come out with Kimmie, but most of our crew has been there. Only a few can say that they play for fun and not to run from the darkness that consumes them. I once crossed over to a place where I only wanted to feed that darkness. Now I have Sephora. Everything has changed.

I lift her in my arms and carry her from the scene of her best friend and mine. They will figure out their own shit. Sephora and I still have a few things we need to get straight.

* * *