Yours to Savor (50 page)

Called in to work, otherwise would have stayed.
Last night with you was the best of my life.

Brandon.

Sandra smiled, relieved. Then she looked at the clock—and cursed. She only had forty minutes to get to work. Worse, she still had to clean the mess in the kitchen before she left. She didn’t want Cassie to come home to that. While Doctor Baker was forgiving, she didn’t want to disappoint him by being late, either.

So, she pushed the blanket off and stood up, groaning when she noticed the beat of heavy rain against the windows. On top of everything, it looked like she would be drenched by the time she arrived at the office.

Half an hour later, after arranging the kitchen into a semblance of unity, Sandra grabbed one of Cassie’s coats and burst out the door, into the rain. If she
really
rushed, she might only be five minutes late.

Dark clouds billowed overhead as Sandra trotted to work, leeching away what little sunlight broke through. The rain beat down on her in heavy, fat drops, and a cold wind sliced through the jacket. Head down, Sandra pulled her collar up in a vain attempt to protect herself from the storm, then turned into a murky side alley. It was a shortcut to work that she rarely took.

She was so absorbed in avoiding the growing puddles on the street that she was surprised when she heard voices from up ahead, around the corner.

She stopped. There weren’t usually any people here in the mornings. She wasn’t afraid, but at the same time, she didn’t want to get tangled up in something that didn’t involve her. It was too late to turn back if she hoped to get to the office on time.

So she pressed forward, keeping her head up and herself very alert to the surroundings. She turned the corner—and froze. There were two men struggling in the alley. One had his back to her, unrecognizable. But she knew the other man immediately. She would have recognized his curly mop of hair anywhere. It was Josh!

The stranger had Josh pinned up against the brick wall. Josh tried to squirm out of the grip, but the other man had him in a vise-like grip. Josh looked more determined than afraid. He scowled at the other man even as he was being held up.

Sandra didn’t hesitate a second before striding for the two figures. “Hey!” she called out. “Hey, what the hell are you doing?”

The two men had been so engrossed in each other that neither of them paid her any attention.

“Let him
go
!” Sandra demanded, grabbing the aggressor’s shoulder and jerking him back.

The man cursed at the interruption. He whipped around, his arm raised and ready to hit her. His eyes were glowing embers in his skull, fierce with anger.

Sandra’s breath caught as she recognized his face. In the rain, her nightmare had come to life. She felt truly afraid.

A part of her memory, a part she’d long suppressed, a part she’d long forgotten, burst into being. In that moment, she
recognized
the man who had pulled her from the fire and stopped her from saving her sister.

“Oh, God,” she whispered. “You’re him!”

Brandon roared, not expecting the tug on his shoulder. Anger surged through him at the intrusion. He whipped back, readying his fist to land a blow.

All his anger evaporated when he found Sandra staring up at him. Sandra, with those large, shocked, frightened eyes.

“Oh, God.” Her words were barely a whimper. “You’re him!”

Her hand fell away and she took one unsteady step back. Then she turned, and ran.

Brandon’s world collapsed around him.

Sandra knows
.

A sick feeling erupted in his gut.

Sandra knows
.

A hollowness filled his entire body. His mind flashed back to that night sixteen years ago. He remembered the commotion after the first blast from the meth lab in the basement. He remembered spotting the tiny blonde girl huddled by a door, ignored by everyone else, scared and alone.

She knows.

He remembered acting on instinct as he ran back and grabbed her, remembered the way she’d broken free from his arms outside and raced back toward the house.

Sandra knows I lied.

He remembered catching her just in time, shielding her from the catastrophic explosion. He remembered the rain pouring that night, the rain…
The rain, much like today.

Why had he thought keeping the secret was a good idea? Why had he thought lying to Sandra about it—point blank and to her face—when she’d asked him if he knew more about the fire, was the right thing to do?

Why was I stupid enough to believe I was actually
protecting
her?

A snickering noise behind him drew his attention back to the kid. “Nice going,” he sneered. “You’ve scared her off for good.”

Brandon’s rage erupted like a furnace blast. He had no room for other emotions. He grabbed Josh by the shoulders and threw his weight into him, slamming him back against the wall and causing his head to whip back.

“Listen to me,” Brandon growled, “and listen good. I’ve wasted a lot of my time trying to find you. Dealing pot and selling cigarettes is one thing. Moving onto coke and hard drugs is a whole other ball game. There are people watching you, kid, and don’t think they haven’t noticed.
I
represent those people, and I’m here to warn you. We don’t include children like you in our business.

“No matter what you think, you’re done. You’re dealing on established territory. The people who’ve been watching you—
my
people—don’t take well to newcomers. I’m only going to say this once. We
won’t
include you. So you need to drop what you’re doing and move on with your life. Find something else to do. If not, you’ll be rotting in a cell before long, or worse. You’ll be dead.”

“I like how you handled things with Sandra,” Josh sneered. “Real smooth.”

Brandon slammed him against the wall again, making his head rebound hard off the concrete. “You just don’t get it, do you? You’re young, inexperienced.
Rash
. That tongue of yours is going to get you in deeper shit than you know. I should do you a favor right now and cut it off to ensure you don’t get in any more trouble.” Josh paled visibly at Brandon’s threat. Fear flashed in his eyes. Brandon nodded. “That’s right. There’s a dark side to the business you haven’t even
glimpsed
yet. And if you want to keep things that way, I better not hear of you dealing in Ocean Shores, or anywhere else. You’re marked now. We’ll know if you try anything. Oh… and if Sandra finds out what happened between us, I will find you. And next time, I won’t be so lenient.”

“Alright, alright! Jesus Christ!” Josh relented. “I won’t say a thing.”

“Good. And the dealing?”

Josh shook his head fervently. “I’m done. No more. I swear it!”

Brandon released his grip, letting Josh fall to the ground. “Trust me, I’m saving you from a life of hell, kid.” Brandon spat on the concrete beside him. “Now, get the fuck out of my sight.”

Josh got up and scampered away, sparing scared glances over his shoulder to make sure Brandon wasn’t following. Brandon stood and watched the kid’s shape fade into the distance. After his anger faded, he turned and started the other way.

He wanted nothing more than to go to Sandra. However, he knew that right now, she needed space. Instead, he got into his Ferrari and drove, not knowing or caring where. His mind worked hard to find a solution to his immense fuck up.

Chapter Thirty-Three

The nightmares returned—in all their original agony.

Sandra tossed and turned all night. Every time she woke, her sheets were soaked with sweat. From the first moment she closed her eyes, she was back in that dingy house, lost amongst all those bodies, all those people.

Every time her mind replayed events of that night, some small part of her vainly thought she could change things. And every single time, she would find herself faced with that imposing door. No matter how hard she pounded, no matter how much she screamed, it would never come open. She couldn’t get past it.

It was her subconscious laughing at her, mocking her for her failure.

The only difference was that now, when she was picked up and carried away against her will, screaming for her sister, she knew who held her.

And outside, when she looked upon the man’s face, it was no longer blurred by the lights.

It was Brandon.

A younger, teenage Brandon—but definitely him. It wasn’t just her mind assigning the face of her lover to the anonymous figure in her dreams. She was sure of that. Brandon
had been
the one to pull her from the fire.
He’d
been the one who stopped her from getting her sister out.

How many years had she hated that man? How many years had she lived wrapped in guilt because of him? She resented him for what he’d done.
She
should have perished in the fire, not her sister. That way, she wouldn’t have to live with so much pain. It was
her
failure that killed her sister,
hers
and
hers
alone. She should have been the one to die.

And now, knowing that Brandon was the one responsible for her miserable existence made everything so much worse. Knowing he had lied to her after she’d asked him about the fire made everything
even worse
. So what if he had caused her nightmares to go away for a month? It was just a blip on the radar compared to sixteen years of agony.

Sandra had seen the anger in Brandon’s eyes when he’d turned around. It was real, fierce, and complete. It had frightened her. She’d had had no idea what was going on between him and Josh in the alley. She wasn’t ready to think about that. Not yet. Not when the bitter taste of Brandon’s deceit overwhelmed her mind. He’d lied about being at the fire, despite knowing how it had affected her life. He’d lied about his intentions to be completely honest with her. How many other things had he lied about in the short time that she’d known him?

Her bitter laugh turned into a sob. She’d been in
love
with him. Except now, she knew the fallacy of that feeling.