Z-Burbia: A Zombie Novel (25 page)

“Phase One is going to be a lost cause,” I say finally
. “That means they’ll be heading this way soon.”

Stuart nods in the dark. “So not much time then.”

“What you thinking, Long Pork?” Elsbeth asks. She taps my head gently. “You have some good thinks in there?”

I sit there, trying to sort through my thoughts when several large explosions rattle them free. The explosions also rattle the house and pictures fall from the walls, shattering on the carpet and vinyl.

“That,” I say, “is a great idea.”

“Not following you,” Stuart says as another explosion rocks Phase One, the blast felt all the way over here.

“What do you think is causing that?” I ask.

“Could be
the small store of C4 in my pantry,” Stuart says.

“Oh,” I reply. “Yeah, well, maybe, but I’m thinking a bit more mundane.” I look over at the stove and smile. “For everything we’ve lost since Z-Day
, what has been a constant that’s never let us down?”

Stuart follows my gaze and nods. “Take it all down?” he asks. “Leave them nothing but ash?”

“Might as well,” I say, “it’s all gone to shit anyway. Whispering Pines is over, right? All signs point to yes. Rebuilding Asheville will need to wait. We have to burn it to the ground first.” I look about the place I have called home for so long, even pre-Z. “Time to start over.”

“Time’s wasting,” Stuart says
, “we have to hurry.”

Elsbeth looks back and forth. “What is happening? What are we burning to the ground?”

“Everything,” I say. “Thomas Wolfe was right. You can never go home.”

Chapter Nine

It takes us longer than we’d like, as we go from house to house, turning on the gas stoves. Those that don’t have gas ranges do have gas hot water heaters. I let Stuart sever those lines, since I don’t think my skills are up to it. Would suck to blow myself up prematurely.

Elsbeth’s job is to take the small amount of liquid fuel we can scavenge from the houses (gasoline, kerosene, fucking citronella lamp oil, etc) and pour lines going from the front doors of each house to a central spot at the end of my cul de sac.
We’re breathing heavy by the time we meet back at my house.

“Yours too
then?” Stuart asks.

“No,” I shake my head
, “it’ll cut off our escape route.”

“Lucky you,” Stuart replies.

“Hey,” I snap, “you think this place will last long when everything else goes up? Do you? You’re a fucking idiot if you do!”

“Don’t fight,” Elsbeth says quietly.

“I get ya,” Stuart says. “I do. No problem. You’re right. It’ll catch as soon as Tran’s house goes up anyway.”

“Right,” I say
, “Tran.”

Stuart looks at me, his brow furrowed. “Tran didn’t make it
then?”

I shake my head, realizing he doesn’t really know anything. He’s been dealing with Vance this whole time, in his own hell.

“He killed himself,” I say. “He couldn’t take it.”

“Couldn’t take it?” Stuart asks. “Oh…was it his wife? Or the kids?”

“All of them,” I say. “We got swarmed.”

“Shit,” Stuart says, shaking his head. “Poor guy.”

“Listen,” Elsbeth says. “I hear people? Do you hear people?”

We go silent and then can hear it.

“Jason Stanford!” Vance shouts. “I know you’re here somewhere! Come on out, Jason!”

“Why the fuck would I do that?” I say. “He’s an idiot.”

“Time to get back to work,” Stuart says. He looks at Elsbeth. “You know what to do then?”

“Kill,” she says
, “and don’t stop killing. Then run.”

“Save yourself,” Stuart says. “Find the others if you can. Warn them.”

“You will come too?” Elsbeth asks, looking from me to Stuart. “You will run with me? After the killing, right? Save yourselves too?”

“Sure,” I say.

“You bet,” Stuart nods.

We are such liars.

“JASON! PLEASE!” a woman screams.

“That’s not Vance,” I say and crawl to the front window for a look. “Holy shit…”

Stuart looks past me to the street. “Doesn’t change anything,” he says, “we’re all fucked anyway, Jace. Stick with the plan. This ends tonight. Hear me?”

“But look, man,” I say. “Look at them all.”

Standing down the street is Vance and his people. Many have Zs on catch poles, while others have our neighbors tied to lengths of rope, their hands behind their backs, their feet only loose enough so they can walk. Bikers are riding every which way, swirling in and out of the groups, kicking out and laughing at the neighbors, staying well clear of the Zs.

“Do I have to explain what happens if you don’t come out, Jason?” Vance shouts. “Was what happened to your friend not preview enough?
”

He nods to one
of the men with Zs and the guy walks it over to the first person in line: Edna Strom, the Head of Z Cleanup. She and her team handle all the bodies of Zs that get caught in the razor wire and fencing. The irony is not lost on me.

Without hesitation, the man sics the Z on her and the thing takes a huge chunk out of her shoulder before it is yanked back. Edna falls to the road, screaming and screaming, unable to grab at the wound as her instincts want her to. Another man walks over and kicks her in the gut, doubling her over. As she
bends, he brings a bat down against her skull. The crack echoes everywhere and she is still, a pool of blood filling the cracks in the pavement.

I look over my shoulder, but Stuart is gone. So is Elsbeth. They’ve stuck to the plan so I guess I have to also.

“Jason!” Vance yells. “You see how this is going to go, don’t you?  Maybe not exactly like that. Some I’ll keep alive until they turn. Maybe the children? Nothing makes me laugh like watching a bunch of kiddie Zs scampering about.”

He chuckles to himself.

“I came across a whole playground of them in West Asheville after Z-Day. They couldn’t get out of the chain link fence that surrounded the playground. I just sat there and watched them for hours. I’d go back every once in a while when I was bored. Even thought of bringing my own kids down to play. Like a dog park for Zs! A Z park!” He turns to one of his men. “Write that down. That’s happening.”

He sighs and looks around.

“Fine. I’m done waiting.”

He
studies the line of prisoners then starts to point at them. I can hear him singing “Eeenie-Meenie-Miny-Mo” before his finger lands on a victim. I don’t know the guy well, Herbert or Gordon or Stan or something, but that doesn’t matter. Vance’ll get to the ones I do know well soon enough.

“Hey!” I yell as I go to my front door and peek out. “No shootsies, okay?”

“You have my word,” Vance smiles. “I’d have killed you by now if I wanted to. I just want to have a conversation.”

“About what?” I ask as I walk out into the street, a good thirty yards away, facing him. “What the fuck could we possibly have to talk about?”

“Your friend, Jon, the one your fearless leader, Brenda Kelly, let die? He had a lot of nice things to say about you.”

I look about. Brenda isn’t one of the prisoners. Vance catches this.

“Oh, I have plans for her too,” Vance says. “She plays along and she’ll live to a ripe old age. You too, Jason.”

“And what am I playing along to?” I ask. “You already started Eenie-Meenie-Miny-Mo without me. That’s my favorite. Maybe some hopscotch? Kickball? Jacks? What’s you poison, Eddie?”

“Mr. Vance,” Vance says. “That’s how you’ll address me. No one calls me Eddie.” His voice catches a little. “Not anymore.”

“Is that so?” I ask, watching him closely. I’m counting in my head at the same time, which is as hard as it sounds. I have to skip some numbers and it’s more an approximation of counting, but I’m pretty sure I’m sticking to the timing of the plan. “Who used to call you Eddie? Your wife? What’s she call you now? From what I’ve heard
, it probably sounds something like ‘gggguuuuuhhhhhh blubblubblub’. That about right?”

Even in the dark of
night, I can see his face turn red with anger. He grabs one of my neighbors and shoves her at the Zs. Two of them lunge and her arms are flayed open. The handlers yank the Zs back and Vance kicks the woman to the ground. Then he keeps kicking her. And kicking her. Then stomping on her. On her head. Over and over and over and over. His eyes watch me the entire time. He doesn’t even so much as glance down at what he’s done.

I start shaking, trying to keep it together. I can hear Stuart in my head telling me the same thing. “Keep it together.” My hands tremble and I push the
pickaxe against my leg, desperate to stop. I shove hard against my wound, hoping the burst of pain will clear my mind, chase the fear away. It doesn’t; it just hurts really bad.

“Look at you!” Vance laughs. “Jesus, man, you are a mess. How long did you think you’d actually live in this world? Did you think Whispering Pines was untouchable and you’d grow old with your wife and kids? Maybe have some grandchildren to play with?”

“Yeah,” I say, being honest with him and myself. “For a second there, I actually did. Then you came along and shit all over it.”

“I shit all over it? I did?” Vance looks at me, his head cocked. “Denial much, Jason? How did you think I learned of this place? A human interest piece in the newspaper? No, sir. I learned from some of the survivors. Those that didn’t get blown away at your gate. I
did not intend to work my way this far north to the river. I was concentrating on downtown and south. But hearing the stories of men and women and even children that were shot without mercy just for looking for some security, some safe place to call home, well, Jason, that had to be investigated.”

He raises his arms and spins around. “And look what I found! Paradise? A new utopia? A true democracy? Hardly. I found a corrupt bitch lording over a bunch of scared and frightened neighbors. It wasn’t exactly hard to figure Brenda Kelly out. Well, that’s not true, exactly. I thought I had her figured out, we did have
a deal and plan in place, but she sent you and your friend Jon to spy on me. That wasn’t part of the deal, so I had to up my timeframe a little. Go off book and improvise.”

Pacing back and forth, his eyes never leaving mine, he continues, “Didn’t work out as well as I would have liked. I had hopes for this place. Oh, well, this part is still good, right? We’ll rebuild Phase One at some point. Might be easier
just to start with one section anyway.”

“Might be,” I say, my stomach in knots. My internal clock tells me I have seconds. Just seconds. “Might not.”

Vance eyes me then looks about. “You had another friend with you when you went a spying, didn’t you? James Stuart? Ex-marine? Where is he now, Jason? I thought he was still laid up in your pitiful excuse for a hospital, but my men say he was missing when they checked. Left a couple corpses behind.”

“He could be anywhere,” I shrug
, “fuck if I know.”

I’m usually so good at timing. What’s taking so long?

“Fuck if you know?” Vance muses. “Oh, I think you know a lot. That’s what I was able to get out of Jon. The man was strong, but not a professional. He only could take so much pain before he started talking. How much pain can you handle, Jason? It’ll be easier for both of us if we don’t have to find out.” He sighs big and shakes his hands, flexing his fingers. “Oh, to fuck with this. Just somebody go grab him, will you? I’m tired of this shit.”

With bikers speeding everywhere arou
nd me, I have nowhere to run, even if I wanted to, as half a dozen men walk towards me.

KRACKBOOM!

That’s the sound that envelopes us all as the first house goes up. It’s quickly followed by a second and a third and a fourth. One after the other, the cookie cutter houses in Phase Two explode. I hit the ground as shards of vinyl siding and brick fill the air. Several bikers go down hard from the concussive force of the explosions. The prisoners, my fellow neighbors, all start screaming and duck down, unable to cover their heads because their hands are tied behind them.

Then she comes. Like a vision
from a spaghetti western, blades held out from her sides, the glow of Phase One behind her. If she’d had a long duster on, she’d be Clint Eastwood in drag. But she isn’t, she’s just Elsbeth. And that’s quite enough, thank you.

Two bikers go down as they whiz by her, their heads tumbling in the air like stray
dodge balls. One of the bikes rams into two men coming at her, they crumple under it, arms and legs flailing about. Elsbeth rolls and comes up, impaling one of the men, eviscerating the other with a swipe. The impaled man’s eyes go wide as she brings the blade up through his torso and out his shoulder, splitting him in half, his blood spraying like a geyser.

It is complete chaos as Elsbeth gets up and leaps at two men and two women that are charging her. She hits the first man feet first and he goes down like he’s a sheet on a clothesline, just folding around her legs. His back hits the asphalt and the sound of each and every one of his ribs cracking can actually be heard over the continuing explosions. She digs her he
els in before she tucks her shoulder and rolls forward off him, both blades swiping at the women before her. Their legs separate from their bodies and they fall, their screams added to the chorus.

The last man looks at her and runs. Smart guy.

The pavement next to her is pocked with gunfire and she rolls backwards over and over until she’s able to leap to her feet and sprint towards the next group of Vance’s people. They fire well before she gets to them, but their aim is hindered by the absolute fear their faces show. They’ve watched what she can do.

Elsbeth ducks and dodges, bouncing from foot to foot, never leaving a still target to get a bead on. By the time she reaches them, half have given up, their empty rifles just hanging from their hands. She slices, she dices,
and she turns them into chopped shit. The last man, wild with terror, his finger clicking uselessly over and over on the trigger of his empty AK-47, just screams at her and then spits.

Elsbeth stands there for a brief moment; the rare time of
stillness, she shows all night. Then she jams her hand into his mouth, yanks out his tongue, and lops it off. The man grabs at his bleeding mouth and runs screaming, as she bounces the tongue in her hand once, twice, then pops it into her mouth. She chews and chews, then her eye catches mine and she stops. She spits the tongue out apologetically and continues her slaughter.

Biker after biker, gunman and gunwoman after gunman and gunwoman, fall under her blades. She shows no mercy,
no remorse, and no signs of stopping. From one to the next she rips them apart, sending steaming piles of guts to the ground, more heads rolling, limbs flying. She even does some spin move where she leaves a man intact until piece after piece slowly slides from him, leaving a pile of bloody parts.