ZAK SEAL Team Seven Book 3 (8 page)

ZAK

She was out cold poor little mite, and I put her on a comforter on the floor and surrounded her with cushions and shit the way I’d seen on the net. For the first time since I first held her I breathed a little easy. She was so tiny and helpless and so fucking perfect. I rubbed my heart where a pain had started. Please don’t let me fuck this up. I said the quick silent prayer before heading to the kitchen where the others were filing through the door. “Shh, keep it down, baby Zak’s asleep.”

“You’re not planning on calling her that are you?” Cord shook his head as he headed to the fridge for beer. Ty went into the other room to look in on her like he didn’t trust me to know what I was doing. “She can’t sleep there, I think her mom has stuff for her that her grandma brought earlier.”

“I don’t want any of that shit in my house.” I could tell by all the eye rolling and muttering going around that they didn’t agree with me but whatever. If it were any one of them, Vanessa’s lying ass would already be buried out back somewhere and we’d be coming up with a cover story.

Cord passed around the beers and I weighed the odds against how long she might stay down and how much one beer might impair me. When I caught them looking at me like they knew exactly what I was doing and found the shit funny, I gave them all the finger and took a sip.

“What do you fucks want now?” It didn’t escape my notice that they were standing in formation like they were expecting some shit to jump off. “If you’ll remember, you kicked us out when we were in the middle of a discussion.” Lo quirked his brow at me.

I knew it was burning his ass that I’d done that, we weren’t in the habit of dealing with each other like that, but shit was different this time. My little girl was involved and no one was taking her from me.

“There’s really nothing to discuss and each of you know it, every last one of you would do the same. Lo, Con, you’re about to become dads, tell me you would do this shit different.” They relaxed a little, but there was still an underlying tension. Ty was rolling his eyes like he was being put upon. “The fuck’s wrong with you now?” He looked at his watch, back into the room where the baby was sleeping peacefully and then back at me. “Nothing, when’s she getting up? I got something to show her.”

This… “Ty she’s not on the clock, she’s a baby you ass. Kids wake up when they’re good and ready; and you’re not waking her up.”

Fucker was hopping from foot to foot like he was antsy about some shit. I turned back to the others. “Look I appreciate that this is a fucked up situation all around, but it wasn’t my doing. Nothing I said to her back then could make her believe that this shit was okay, this was her fucking way of getting back at me.”

Did she really hate me this fucking much? The fuck I care. Oh you care. Shut…the fuck…up.

“Is it, are you sure about that brother? Do you remember where we were two days after you two split? We went off the grid for four and a half months.” Logan had a point but still, there were a million ways she could’ve got word to me, especially afterwards when we’d been back on domestic soil.

“I don’t buy that shit, she had ample time, two fucking years and she doesn’t say a word. That’s part of me in there, the best fucking part and I wouldn’t have known about her if you hadn’t called that…”

“Hey!” They all got in my damn face.

“Fine, had you not needed that she devil’s help I wouldn’t know I have a daughter. I don’t care what any of you say, she was fucking wrong and I never did anything to her to deserve this shit. My fucking kid spent a whole fucking year on this earth without me there to look out for her.” Each time I thought of it I wanted to wring her fucking neck ‘til it popped the fuck off. So much could’ve happened to my little Zakira. The thought left me cold.

“Zak we agree, and we’ve told her so, but the fact remains we can’t leave this shit like this indefinitely. We’re dealing with who knows the fuck what from the outside. We can’t have dissension among each other in here. Nessa can be a big help to us on this…” I’d like to punt her ass over the wall for being fuck stupid.

“She can do whatever the fuck she wants, just make sure she stays out of my sight and far the fuck away from me.” I didn’t let his long drawn out sigh or the shaking head deter me. I’d fight every last one of these fuckers if it came to that.

“She’s her mother Zak, you know how women are about these things. The situation is already strained as it is, I’m just saying that you need to keep a cool head and be rational.”

“She’s a mother, I’m a father; her rights do not outweigh mine I don’t give a fuck what the world says. She had a year or more with her all to herself, let her deal with this shit now.” We all heard the buzzer go off and switched gears. “Who the fuck?” Logan checked the monitor on his watch.

Someone was at the gate and from Lo’s reaction when he checked I had a pretty good idea who it was. I’d all but forgotten the little surprise I’d organized for Ty, and though I wasn’t in the mood for a good laugh at his expense any longer, I wouldn’t mind a little light entertainment. Or something to take the focus off my ass for ten minutes. I checked on my baby and then followed the rest of them outside. Victoria Lynn pulled in and hopped down from the truck that was a mile too wide for her. She must’ve been a sight, sitting behind the wheel of that tank. She started offloading baby stuff as Cord and Dev who were closest moved forward to help.

“The fuck…what did you do bro?” fucker was already sweating.

“Nothing, I needed baby clothes, you told me to get baby clothes.” No he didn’t but he was so twisted he won’t remember who did what. She made a point not to look at him or acknowledge him in anyway, and just to fuck with him I picked her up in a bear hug. I looked at him over her head and he looked like he was gonna take me out barehanded. If I were three I would’ve poked my tongue out at him.

I put her down again and it was very telling the way she looked at him as she fixed her clothes before moving away from me. I hid my grin behind my hand and pretended not to notice shit just like everyone else was.

“Hi guys so we have a baby on board huh, where is she?” She lugged bags into the house while the rest of us followed with the heavy stuff. “What do I owe you Vicki Lynn?” She passed me the receipt and I fished out my wallet and counted off some bills to cover everything plus a little extra for her time. “Oh no Zak that’s too much.” She tried giving it back to me but I wouldn’t take it. When she tried to force it into my hand Ty almost lost his shit. “He said he didn’t want it.” His eyes were glued to the spot where her hand touched mine. She sniffed at him and turned away.

At this point everyone had seemingly forgotten all about my drama for the moment and was totally focused on these two. She looked in on the baby and cooed and this ass got a pained look on his face. He could talk all the shit he wanted to, his eyes never left her. I walked over next to him and nudged him. “What’re you waiting for brother?” I pointed my chin at her as she bustled around looking into the bags she’d just brought.

“Fuck bro I…” He broke off whatever it was he was going to say, and I felt almost bad for setting him up when he closed his eyes as if in pain. It’s funny, but as pissed as I was at Vanessa, I wish to fuck that my brother, that all my brothers could feel at least once, that deep abiding love I’d once had for her. Then again if it was all gonna turn out like this maybe they were better off. He pulled himself together and just shook his head and took a swig of his now warm beer.

I heard the women coming and moved in front of the door. Gaby, Dani and even Susie looked like they wanted to kick my ass. “What do you lot want?” My brothers might try to kick my ass for being less than polite to their women, but I wasn’t in the mood to deal with their brand of fuckery.

“We’re here to see the baby, in case you’ve forgotten, we never did get a chance to say hello.” Gaby seems to be the designated mouthpiece. Good luck with that.

“She’s asleep, come back tomorrow and leave that one somewhere.” I pointed at Vanessa before slamming the door in their faces. I don’t give a fuck; let their men deal with their meddling asses.

“Fuck bro, you do not want to start a war with these women are you fuck stupid?” Lo looked like somebody had gut punched his ass. I’m beginning to think Ty was right about him and Con; they were almost unrecognizable.

“Damn, the pussy whipped battalion is at it again. I got your back Zak; don’t listen to them. These women need to learn their place.”

“Oh do tell Mr. Hotshot, and just where is that?” If this fucker runs from her I’ll never let him live it down, and that looked like just what he was about to do.

Instead of tucking tail and hightailing it out of there though, he gave her a look that said plenty. There was enough heat behind that shit to roast a whole cornfield. I felt almost like a voyeur witnessing the shit.

“Damn bro tone that shit down, there’re other people here.”

I looked at the others to see if they’d seen it as well and they had. Poor Vicki Lynn was trying to figure out what the fuck had hit her, but she regrouped fast enough.

“He is so gone.” I whispered that shit to Quinn out the side of my mouth.

“Didn’t really believe it until just now. You think he knows?” why the fuck were we whispering?

“Yeah, but that fucker’s gonna fight it tooth and nail.” There was a lot of throat clearing after that and I was hoping the rest of them would get the hell out and go deal with their women, but no such luck, they wanted to talk. Vicki Lynn made a joke that she should spend the night so she could look after Zakira and I thought Ty would have a conniption.

“That’s okay Vicki Lynn, I think you should stay with Dani and I for tonight.” Everyone looked at Ty to see if that was acceptable and his shoulders relaxed a little even though he looked like he was chewing on nails.

She soon left thank fuck before he became postal, and they started their shit with me again. Thank fuck the baby woke up again and they got distracted. “I know we have to deal with shit, but I’d like to take some time to get to know my daughter. I’ll do my part around here of course, that goes without saying, but what say we table any heavy conversations about me and the…me and her mother for another time.”

“Hardheaded fuck.” Lo pushed up from his chair.

“Or we could do it now and I could tell you to get her out of here before I snap and break her fucking neck, choose your pick.” I went after my kid and left them to see themselves out. I was over the shit already. It had only been a few short hours, though it felt like a whole lifetime had passed, but it wasn’t enough time for people to be hounding me like I had shit all worked out already.

“It’s okay little darling, daddy’s here.” She was muddy so I set up the laptop near her new changing table, and went to YouTube. I followed the instructions to a T and pretty soon my baby girl was freshly powdered and smelling like a baby again.

Now all I had to do was figure out how to feed her and we were in business. I loved the weight of her on my arm, loved the way she already clung to her daddy like she needed me.

We stayed up and talked. Well I talked mostly she just babbled and nodded her head like she knew what the fuck I was saying, in between trying to eat her feet. “Daddy’s gonna teach you how to shoot but we gotta wait until you’re about six or so.

That way anybody fu…ahem, anybody messes with you and I’m not there, you can handle shit yourself.” That sounded about right to me, and I’m sure the others would help me show her all the ways to protect herself. My chest burned with the thought of all the years that were to come and just what the hell we were gonna face.

As the hours wound down and I figured it was coming on time for bed, she wasn’t looking like she was going anywhere anytime soon.

She kept worst fucking hours than a night watchman, what the fuck? It’s not like she had a job to go to or some shit, but she had no regard for my feelings as she stayed up all night either cooing or fussing.

Around bum fuck o’clock she let up a howl that had me scrambling, this only after she’d dozed off for what seemed like two seconds. When nothing worked to get her to sleep I went knocking on Logan’s door. The incubator was there waiting like she knew I was gonna come knocking. “She’s hungry.”

We went through the same routine as before, only this time I paid attention to more than her tit and my hard dick. Like the way she held the baby all loving like, or the way she smelled her hair. I especially noticed the way Zakira clung to her; the bond was hard to miss. Good, I hope her guts hurt tonight when I kick her ass out and she has to be without our daughter. Let her wonder how long I was gonna keep them apart, just like she’d done me.

I let her stay until the baby was asleep; I’m not stupid. Then I had her express milk with the new pump I’d had Vicki Lynn pick up. I didn’t stay around for that shit; I gave her space.

But as soon as she was done and I had a few bottles lined up, I showed her to the door. I didn’t give her a chance to say whatever the fuck she was opening her mouth to say to me, just held my hand up and closed the door.

No I didn’t feel one ounce of remorse, there was no room for that shit next to my anger. I missed the fuck outta her when I crawled into my lonely king sized bed not long after though.

Instead of thinking back and trying to make sense out of why she’d done the things she had, I read through the books on babies. People had some fucked up ideas if you ask me, but hey, I’m no expert. I stayed up long after she’d finally gone down for good, worrying about how the fuck I was gonna make her world perfect. I knew one thing for sure, my kid was not gonna be raised by anyone else but me, and anyone who thought different were out of their fucking minds.