Read Zits from Python Pit #6 Online
Authors: M. D. Payne; Illustrated by Keith Zoo
I looked around for someone who could help.
“ROY,” I yelled, “get over here now!”
Roy ran over, and I pointed to the python pit.
Without a word, Roy jumped in and began punching the python that had a grip on Gordon. He kicked the others that tried to get close. His fur was so slippery in the rain, the snakes couldn't get a hold of him.
Roy finally pulled Gordon out. His face bled terribly.
I ran over to help Gordon while Roy swatted other snakes away.
“Gordon!” I slapped his face. “Gordon!”
The rain washed away the blood.
Gordon's face didn't have a scratch.
“Gordon!” I yelled.
My friend opened his eyes.
“That python bit my zits,” Gordon said. “Two fangs in two zits.”
“Now you have no more zits!” I said.
“Awesome!” he yelled, and jumped up. “YEAH!”
Shane ran up to us. His face was a wreck.
I looked ahead to see Ben and Nabila with most of the monsters, waving us into the abandoned retirement home.
“Let's go!” I said. “We're so close.”
“I think I've got to pop these right now,” said Shane. “They hurt so much, and the snakes are just going to keep growing.” He dropped to his knees, and I could see his face. It didn't look pretty.
Snakes were closing in, but we had to do something.
“Grab a snake and let it bite your zit,” I said to Shane.
“What?” asked Shane.
“Trust me,” I said.
“Just be careful,” said Gordon. “I think it only works if you get the fang to go right into the zit! Otherwise . . .”
We knew what would happen otherwise.
We dodged a massive boa constrictor, then Roy quickly bonked it on the head and used it like a huge whip to clear a space for us.
“Shane, hurry!” I yelled. “Your face is squirming!”
Shane grabbed a smaller snake by the tail. “This is crazy,” said Shane. The snake struggled in his hand, striking the air as Shane held it back.
Gordon ran over and grabbed the head as soon as it struck again. Its open mouth hissed into the air.
“Oh man, I can feel them moving,” said Shane.
“Hold tight!” yelled Gordon. He brought the serpent's fangs closer to Shane's face and carefully dug a fang deep into one of Shane's zits.
“It hurts so much,” said Shane, falling backward.
Shane was facedown and twitching on the field.
“Shane!” I yelled. “Shane!”
He rolled over, and I could see the snakes under his skin turning black and dying.
“Yeah, I forgot to tell you how much it hurt,” Gordon said.
CRACK! BOOM!
Lightning struck the python pit, sending smoking snakes into the air.
“We've got to get off the plain,” I said. “Shane, can you run?”
“Let's do it!” Shane said, jumping up.
Roy, Shane, Gordon, and I ran for it, jumping over snakes before they could bite us.
Once we made it inside, François and Rangda took care of the few snakes that had followed us in, and then there were no more.
“Where'd they go?” asked Shane.
“To take a nap?” I wondered. “I wish I could take a nap.”
I took a moment to catch my breath and watched the rain stop. The monkey got off of my shoulder and lay down at my feet.
The sun came out, and all of the monsters and kids smelled like the biggest wet dog after rolling around in the biggest cat turd.
“So what are we doing here, Boss?” Director Z asked me.
I pointed at the robot next to the tank.
“Care to elaborate?” asked Director Z.
Nabila moaned and clutched her face.
“Oh man, they feel terrible,” said Nabila. “So weird.”
“Hurry,” I said. “Find a snake. If we can get one to bite your zit, then you'll be cured.”
“Out on the plain?” Shane asked. He rushed out of the hole in the wall. “Where did they all go? I don't like that we don't know where they all went.”
“Maybe my fang vill vork?” asked Grigore.
“Oh, good idea, brother,” Kossi said.
POP.
“Too late,” said Pietro.
I turned to Nabila. One snake had burst out of her face. She held on to it tightlyânot an easy task with all of the pus.
“I don't believe it,” I said.
Her other zits quivered and shook, ready to pop, but before they could . . .
“Eat this,” Nabila said, and moved the snake's mouth over to her biggest zit.
HISSSSSBITE.
It took a huge bite. Nabila tossed the snake over to Ben. “Catch,” she said.
Ben caught it with a squeal and latched it onto his zit.
They both fell to the floor, writhing in pain.
“Don't worry,” said Gordon. “The pain disappears pretty quickly.”
I walked over to the robot and looked it up and down.
“I've got to figure out how it works,” I said to myself. “I don't even know what to do with it when I do. But how are we going to make it back to the other building?”
“We're going back?!” yelled Gordon.
“Shhhhh!” I said. “Keep it down. Yes, we are going back.”
My friends and the monsters crowded around.
“There's no time to explain, but we've got to go back now,” I whispered, “and we've got to bring the robot with us. I wish we had more help. We barely made it across the first time.” I turned to François. “Raven Hill Retirement Home had SWAT gear for the Nurses. Does this facility have any armor or arms?”
“Hey, where are your Nurses, anyway?” asked Ben.
“It's funny you askâ” François started. But the monkey interrupted with a screech.
EEEEEEEEEEEEE!
François gave the monkey a funny look and said, “Unfortunately, no. We don't have anything defensive or offensive.”
“Defensive or offensive,” mumbled Gordon. “Hey, that gives me an idea. Remember how hard I was bashed in the face with that soccer ball?”
“What?” I said. “We can't ask the soccer kids for help. Even if they believe us, what if they get hurt?”
“They'll be so far away, they won't be near any danger,” said Gordon. “Remember how far I was when I was knocked down?”
“That sounds so crazy, it just might work,” said Shane.
“I know they have the power,” said Gordon. “Now I need to see if they can focus that power and aim.”
“What makes you think that they'll help us out?” asked Ben.
“I've got an idea,” said Gordon. He ran out of the hole in the wall and around the corner of the building.
“Gordon, wait!” I yelled, but he was already gone. I turned to the others. “All right, let's figure out how this robot works.”
I stepped up to the massive, twenty-foot robot to see if I could find a way in.
“What's this button do?” I wondered out loud. But before I could press it . . .
EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
The monkey jumped up onto the robot and swatted my hand away.
“What is it with you and this robot?” I asked the monkey.
It screeched again and crawled farther up the robot.
“Get offa there!” I yelled, and I pulled the monkey down. “Shane, come over here and help me. Director Z, have you ever seen anything like this?”
EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
Roy held me up so I could look at the robot's head. The monkey was getting angrier.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
There was a small door in the back that I could see through the eyes in the front, but I couldn't open it. Ben tried, Nabila tried. We all failed.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
“Um, Chris,” Nabila said, stepping down from Roy's shoulder.
She pointed at the door into the laboratory.
A very angry Tikoloshe stood in the doorway. Behind him were more snakes and serpents than we had seen all day long. They were ready to attack.
“I leave you for an hour, and this is what happens?” he yelled. “Kossi, you have a lot of explaining to do.”
“Bite me,” hissed Kossi.
“Well, that explains everything, then,” said Tikoloshe.
I high-fived Kossi, while looking away from his eyes.
“My slitheries, loyal as they are, let me know that something was going on,” said Tikoloshe. “I will reward them by feeding you to them. I've had enough! Iâ”
There was a huge CLANK, and an electric whirring sound filled the room.
The robot moved its arm.
“What theâ” I said. I looked up and could see the monkey working some sort of controls behind the eyes of the robot.
“I always wondered how that worked,” Rangda said.
“Just
what
do you think you're going to do with that robot?” Tikoloshe yelled. “And did I hear you say you were headed back to the ruin? Yes, I did, but why on earth would you want to go back? Everyone is here! Everything is here! Everything but . . .”
A lightbulb went on in Tikoloshe's head.
“My statue!” he screeched. “No!”
He lifted up a gnarled hand and waved it at me. My face exploded in pain as dozens of zits bubbled up.
Tikoloshe ran past us and out. “Noooooooooo!”
“Gooooooo!” I yelled. I could barely talk because of the zits around my mouth, but I couldn't slow everyone down. “We have to get the statue before he does. If he hides it, he'll have power over The House of Eternal Rest forever.”
The snakes slithered quickly into the room as we ran out onto the plain once again. The robot was slow but picking up speed.
Once everyone was out of the room, the three adzes stood at the hole in the wall and stared down the snakes. Their bodies trembled as they tried to control the hundreds of writhing, angry, hungry reptiles.
Up ahead, Tikoloshe fell into the python pit.
“Yeah!” yelled Gordon.
With an angry grunt, Tikoloshe pulled himself out of the hole.
“No!” yelled Gordon.
Behind us, the adzes finally lost control, and the snakes slithered toward us.
“They're so fast,” said Ben. “We're not going to make it to the other side!”
In the middle of the plain, the snakes caught up to us, some from behind and some from right below us, popping up through the meerkat holes.
Tikoloshe stopped near the ruin and sent more snakes our way.
The monsters struggled to keep the snakes under control.
“He's directing them!” I yelled. “Everyone, watch out! It's not going to be as easy here.” A python reared up in front of me. The Monkey Robot kicked it in the face with a CRUNCH.
There were so many snakes that we were walking on a writhing carpet, just making sure that they didn't bite our feet. I was desperate for one of them to bite my face, but they were out of controlâI couldn't risk getting bit in the wrong place.
I had to get the Monkey Robot to the river.
“Help that zombie!” I yelled, and the Monkey Robot swung an arm, pushing a zombie away before a snake could strike its face.
I reached up to my face and it felt like it was melting off, but I knew I couldn't stop. I was the one who had to convince Inkanyamba to help.
“The robot and I need cover!” I screeched.
A serpent leaped directly for my arm, and the Monkey Robot slammed it hard. But even the monkey was fumbling to get all of the snakes off of the robot. Monkey Robot was slowing down.
“Over here!” yelled Gordon. He ran along the riverbank with a dozen kids from the soccer field.
“Ready,” Gordon yelled.
The kids each dropped a soccer ball.
“Aim,” Gordon yelled.
They pulled their legs back.
“FIIIIIIRE!”
A dozen soccer balls flew into the snakes, knocking them back with hard THUMPS.
“FIIIIIIIIRE!” Gordon yelled again.
More balls flew, and it was just enough distraction to allow the Monkey Robot and me to escape to the river.
“Yeah!” I yelled to Gordon. “Now get them out of here!”
As the kids ran back toward the town, I could see a new pair of shoes on Diblo's feet. They were Gordon's fancy state-of-the-art athletic shoesâhis most prized possession. Diblo gave me a thumbs-up.
“So that's how he convinced them,” I said.
I looked over my shoulder and saw the monsters and my friends slowly making their way to the ruin.
Now my face was on fire, but there wasn't a snake around to bite my zits. I just had to move forward.
Tikoloshe didn't seem to notice what Monkey Robot and I were doing. He was too worried about his statue. He turned to run to the tower and was bombarded by the fruit bats.
I hoped the bats and other monsters would hold him up long enough for me to gain control of the snakes and race to the tower.
I could feel the tiny snake babies moving in my face as the robot finally hit the water and walked into the deep center of the river. It bowed down and disappeared.
I looked over at the ruins and couldn't see Tikoloshe anymore.
“Hurry, Monkey Robot,” I said to the water. “Hurry!”
With a great splash, the Monkey Robot rose from the water . . .
. . . with Inkanyamba in its arms.
My face hurt so bad, I swayed on my feet. But I had to keep going.
“Inkanyamba!” I yelled, raising my hands. “I might not have a pendant, but I have been sent by my pendant to help you. My pendantâand your retirement homeâwere stolen by Tikoloshe, who has now taken control of your kingdom . . .”
I couldn't see over the bulges on my face, but I had to continue.
“You must take back the snakes. Follow me, and let's defeat this imp.”
I put down my hands.
Inkanyamba bit down on something in her mouth and then spat it directly in my face.
My face exploded in pain, and I fell back onto the ground.