Zombies Eat Lawyers (4 page)

But while Steve and Vanessa put the Capitol in the rearview, one question lingered. They lived in a new world filled with lawlessness and disorder. A world without Government. A world under siege. The question was at the tip of both their tongues. Vanessa was the first to utter it though.

"Where are we supposed to go now?"

*********

Steve hated every moment of the summer he spent working at Colonial Williamsburg. What was more ridiculous than a bunch of adults playing dress up like it was 1829? Little did Steve realize the living history museum would end up saving his life.

Vanessa and Steve knew that if they had any hope of surviving, they had to get as far away from the city as possible. But making a home on the range out in the sticks still left them exposed to stray zombies. So plowing down the I-95 corridor, the answer dawned on Steve.

A place that was walled, sprawling, had tools, weapons, and gardens for a sustainable food supply--Colonial Williamsburg. If you closed the gates, you kept the undead out while giving yourself a life to live within. You'd be safe from zombies, but surrounded by gardens to grow your own food. You could do more than just survive. You could begin to live again.

It was a fitting refuge. Colonial Williamsburg was created as commemorative living museum to highlight life after a revolution. Where the survivors of the bloody battles sought to forge a meaningful life in the new world. Where the Colonists had to begin anew; unsure of what the future held, but eager to find out.

The End

Undead Reckoning:

A Zombie Novel

Excerpt

Syracuse, NY

Morgan Road Cemetery

A headstone sat in a quiet row of the cemetery. No sounds or people around. Then, a faint rumble. A decayed hand of a corpse reached out from the dirt in front of the headstone.

Jane Foster, thirty-two, lean, and pretty, was clad all in black. She laid flowers in front of an adjacent headstone, paying attention only to her grief. She closed her eyes and said a prayer under her breath. The rumble got louder, accompanied by groaning.

Jane opened her eyes. At her feet, another corpse hand reached up from the grass. The hand flailed for her and grabbed her leg.

“
Oh my God,” Jane shrieked.

Jane shook off the corpse hand, then back stepped--only to have her leg grabbed by another hand. Jane narrowly shook that hand off to, then darted towards the cemetery parking lot.

“
Help. Help,” she desperately called out.

As Jane ran down the row of headstones, she was forced to dodge various corpse hands and arms reaching at her from the ground. With the parking lot in sight, Jane yelled out even louder.

“
Help. Please.”

Another rumble was heard, followed by a sustained moan.

Jane looked over her shoulder as she ran, checking for trouble. Behind her, the hands and arms of a legion of zombies were crawling out of the ground, lurching towards her.

As Jane went to turn her hand back around, she ran head first square into a zombie’s chest. Jane moved to quickly get up just as another corpse hand popped out from the grass and clutched her.

“
Help. Please,” Jane yelled once more, as a last gasp effort.

Jane struggled, but could not break free. She was trapped and overpowered. She looked up at the zombie and his vacant eyes. Jane was overcome with terror and screamed at the top of her lungs, but there was no one to save her.

Syracuse Airport

Charley and Emily stood in front of a ticket booth overcome with emotion. Charley was fit without ever working out, attractive without stopping traffic, and strong but silent. He was also the kind of guy with so much potential, very little of which was lived up to. But what Charley lacked in ambition, he made up for in devotion.

Emily meanwhile was ambitious beyond her means, always waiting for reality to keep up with her dreams. She had girl next door looks, a smile as wide as the Mississippi, and a way of looking at you like you were the only person she cared about.

Emily clutched her boarding pass with her carry on bag at her feet. “I can’t believe you couldn’t get the time off,” she bemoaned.

“
Fact is, we need the money,” Charley replied, trying to make the best of the situation.

“
Don’t remind me.”

“
I’ll really miss you though.”

“
You have to get a new job.”

“
Don’t start this again. Not now.”

“
Hey, you’re going to have to face facts soon enough.”

“
Look, don’t forget to call me when you get in.”

Emily bit the corner of her lip and furrowed her brow. “This isn’t because you don’t want to meet my parents, is it?”

“
Em, my job might suck--”

“
Does suck,” Emily corrected.

“
But it’s the only one I have. And I unfortunately have to work this week.”

“
You know, you’re going to have to meet my parents.”
“Yeah, eventually.”

“
Charley, we’ve been together a year and a half.”

“
Next time, alright?”

But it was little consolation to Emily. “That’s what you said last time.”

“
I promise.”

“
I’m going to hold you to that.”

“
Em, mark my words. This time next year, everything will be different.”

“
How different?”

“
A complete remodel.”

“
Don’t go overboard. There’s too much about you I love to lose it all.”

“
I love you too.”

Charley and Emily held each other, not wanting to let go.

Taft Road, North Syracuse

Charley sighed as he sat in the drivers seat. He turned his attention to the radio to soothe his blues, then caught sight of the time.

“
Son of a bitch.”

Charley floored it to make it to work on time.

While Charley raced against the clock, he sped past an alley where a Hobo Zombie crawled out of a dumpster and staggered toward the street. With time counting down, Charley raced past a grocery store, where a Zombie Clerk pushed carts around the parking lot. While Charley took a short cut, his car darted past an ambulance where a Zombie sits up on a gurney.

With seconds to spare, Charley pulled into a Wowmart big box warehouse and sprinted towards the entrance.

Charley stood in the sporting goods section with a harried Father. The Father Crack Berried while his first grader Kid got too comfortable in the drivers seat of a dune buggy on display.

“
So anyway, I was looking for a--” Father mustered, before his Kid interrupted.

“
Daddy daddy, can I get this?” the Kid pleaded.

“
Nice try sport,” Father said, without looking up from his Crack Berry.

“
Please?” the Kid continued.

“
No.”

“
Pretty please Dad?”

“
Maybe for your birthday,” Father lied.

Kid folded his arms, pouting.

“
Tell you what, how about some candy?” Father said, bribing.

“
Yay.”

Father turned back to Charley. “Sorry about that.”

“
No problem Sir,” Charley replied, his mind squarely on Emily. “Now, can I help you?”

“
I sure hope so. I’m looking for a birthday gift.”

“
I think the little guy made it pretty clear he wants the dune buggy.”

“
I’m talking about for my wife.”

“
Have you tried flowers?”

“
Yeah, that’s not going to cut it.”

“
Are you sure? Women generally love flowers.”

“
Wish it were that easy. See, I kind of forgot her birthday.”

“
Try groveling. Lots of groveling.”

“
Dammit, I’m never having sex again, am I?”

“
Look. You‘ll figure something out. It’s not the end of the world.”

Wowmart Hunting Department

Paul stood at the gun counter ogling a rifle like a hot chick in a bikini while a camouflage-clad Redneck beamed at the firearm.

“
She’s something, isn’t she?” Paul said.

“
She sure is.”

Paul watched as the Hunter stroked the barrel of the rifle with a little too much enthusiasm.

“
Oh-k. Why don’t we put her away?” Paul uttered, uncomfortable.

“
Nah. I’m taking her home with me.”

“
Yeah. I don’t even want to know what you’d do with it.”

Paul went to grab the rifle.

“
There’s such a thing as the second amendment, you know?” the Redneck said.

“
There’s also something called a three day waiting period.”

The Redneck stared Paul down, then handed Paul the rifle.

“
Three days. Not a second more.”

As the Redneck moved off, Paul spotted Charley at the end of an aisle pointing to his cell phone.

“
Break time,” Paul said to himself, putting up a “Will return in fifteen minutes” sign on the counter.

“
Why are the creepiest people in the store always hanging out in your department?” Charley asked, as he and Paul made their way to the break room.

“
Hey, just because that redneck gives guns a bad name--”

“
You don’t give them a much better one,” Charley insisted.

“
Dude, I forgot to tell you. I scored this deer over the weekend. I’m going to mount that bad boy on my wall.”

“
Paul, what did I tell you about talking about hunting around me?”

“
Bro, you should seriously come out with me some time.”

“
For the hundredth time, I have a thing with guns.”

“
What thing?”

“
I don’t want to talk about it.”

Paul shook his head with disapproval. “You were so much cooler before you got a girlfriend.

Break Room

“
I’m not whipped,” Charley defended himself, slurping on discount cola.

“
You kidding? You’re so whipped you could start an S&M club,” Paul retorted. He scarfed down on a ChocoZilla, the pinnacle of all sugar, ultra processed, cavity-baiting snacks.

“
Dude, how can you eat those things?”

“
Because they’re delicious.”

“
They're practically radioactive.”

“
Isn’t it good to know if the apocalypse were to go down today, we’d always have tasty treats like these?”

“
I’d rather die.”

“
No, you’d rather dodge the unavoidable truth that you’re cross country whipped.”

“
Paul, she’s in Florida.”

“
So?”

“
So, we’re in Syracuse. It’s down the coast, not across the country.”

“
Don’t bother me with details. Just admit you’re power whipped and I might not make you turn in your man card.”

“
Hey, just because you can’t spell monogamy--”

“
Dude, that’s what spell check is for. Besides, this is the prime of our sexual lives. Why waste that on one chick?”

“
She’s not just some chick.”

“
No no. She’s 'the one.' The one that won’t let you go splurging at the titty bar or spend all night shot gunning brewski’s.”

“
Or, the one I’m going to marry.”

Paul almost choked on his ChocoZilla. “You have two seconds to take that back.”

“
I know you don’t understand it Paul, but I love her.”

“
My parents ’loved’ each other too, but now they’re taking their antique sword collection and trying to cut each others heads off with them.”

“
I’m sorry about your parents. But it’s different with me and Emily. Why do you think I requested all these extra hours this weekend?”

“
I thought you were trying to get out of meeting her parents.”

“
No. I’m trying to save up money for a ring.”

“
I’ve never wanted to vomit so much in my life.”

Wowmart Front Entrance

Nightfall. Charley and Paul ushered the last straggling Customers out of the store after a long day. Paul locked the front doors, never more ready to hit the bar for a cold one.

“
Dude, we are getting so wasted tonight,” Paul declared, already at Drunk Uncle’s sports bar in his mind.

Charley put a key in a wall lock, then turned it to lower a linked steel protective gate.

“
You mean you’re getting so wasted tonight?” Charley corrected.

“
Tell you what. I’ll get wasted enough for the both of us.”

“
That’s what I was afraid of.”

Charley and Paul exit the break room and turned in their work vests and fake smiles for street clothes and emotional exhaustion. They walked past the front registers of the store, only to hear a tap on the glass.