Zoolarious Animal Jokes for Kids (5 page)
A: “That hit the spot!”
Q: How does a cow get to church on Sunday?
A: On its moo-torcycle.
Q: Why did the moose lift weights at the gym?
A: Because it wanted big moose-les (muscles).
Q: Why didn't the crab spend any of his money?
A: Because he was a penny pincher.
Q: What does a cow like to drink before bed?
A: De-calf-inated coffee (decaffeinated).
*bear
Q: What are you doing if you're staring at a starfish?
A: Stargazing.
Q: Why was the duck happy after his doctor's appointment?
A: Because he got a clean bill of health.
Q: Where do bugs go to do their shopping?
A: The flea market.
Q: What kind of dessert do dogs run away from?
A: Pound cake.
Q: How do you know if there is a black bear in your oven?
A: The oven door won't close!
Q: Why did the cheetah get glasses?
A: Because it was seeing spots.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Cod.
Cod who?
Cod you let me in? It's cold out here!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Shellfish.
Shellfish who?
Don't be shellfishâlet me in!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Rhino.
Rhino who?
Rhino you want to let me in.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Raven.
Raven who?
I've been raven about you to all my friends, so won't you let me in?
Q: What is the richest bird in the world?
A: The golden eagle.
Q: Why was a pig on the airplane?
A: Because its owner wanted to see pigs fly.
Q: Why was the frog in a bad mood?
A: Because he was having a toad-ally bad day.
Q: What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A: Stuck!
Q: Why were the elephants kicked off the beach?
A: Because they kept throwing their trunks in the water.
Q: Where do old ants go?
A: The ant-ique store.
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a toad?
A: A bullfrog.
Q: What do you get when you cross a water buffalo and a chicken?
A: Soggy buffalo wings.
Q: How do chickens stay in shape?
A: They eggs-ercise.
Q: How do skunks watch the news?
A: On their smell-evision.
Q: Why did the rabbit work at the hotel?
A: Because he made a good bellhop.
Josh: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
Anna: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
Q: What do dinosaurs put in their cars?
A: Fossil fuel.
Q: How did the pig write a letter?
A: With its pig pen.
Q: What happened to the snake when it got upset?
A: It got hiss-terical.
Q: What did the rattlesnakes do after they had a fight?
A: They hissed and made up.
Q: What does a monkey drink with its breakfast?
A: Ape juice.
Q: What happened to the platypus when it fell in the hole?
A: It became a splatypus.
Q: How do crocodiles make their dinner?
A: In a croc pot.
Q: Where do ants go when it's hot outside?
A: Ant-arctica.
Q: Why do pigs make great comedians?
A: Because they like to ham it up.
Q: What is a pig's favorite play?
A: Hamlet.
Q: Where do pigs put their dirty laundry?
A: In the hamper.
Q: Why was the pig having trouble walking?
A: Because he pulled his hamstring.
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a mosquito?
A: A bloodhound.
Q: What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog?
A: Catnip.
Q: What does a squirrel like to eat for breakfast?
A: Dough-nuts!
Q: What is a monkey's favorite book?
A: Apes of Wrath.
Q: How do skunks get in touch with each other?
A: They use their smell phones.
Q: How do crabs call each other?
A: They use their shell phones.
Q: What do you call a ladybug that won't clean up its room?
A: A litterbug.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Otter.
Otter who?
You otter open this door and let me in!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Dragon.
Dragon who?
Quit dragon this out and open the door!
Q: What happened to the rich snake who had everything?
A: He decided to scale back.
Q: How do you stop a 10-pound parrot from talking too much?
A: Buy a 20-pound cat.
Q: Why did the cat study its spelling words fifty times?
A: Because practice makes purr-fect.
Q: What do you get when you cross a brontosaurus and a lemon?
A: A dino-sour.
Q: What's green, has warts, and lives alone?
A: Hermit the frog.
Q: Why was the bird wearing a wig?
A: Because it was a bald eagle.
Q: What did the baby shark do when it got lost in the ocean?
A: It whaled (wailed).
Q: What kind of house does a pig live in?
A: A hog cabin.
Q: How do frogs send a telegraph?
A: They use Morse toad (code).
Q: How did the frog get over the tall wall?
A: With a tad-pole.
Q: What is a cow's favorite vegetable?
A: Cow-iflower.
Q: Why did the pigs write a lot of letters?
A: Because they were pen pals.
Q: What does a cat wear at night?
A: Its paw-jamas.
Q: What did the night crawler's parents say after their child got home after curfew?
A: “Where on earth have you been?”
