03 The Fate Of The Muse - Marina's Tales (9 page)

“
Yes
,” said Nerissa, scooping her up
and swimming her to me. The little mermaid squirmed in her arms and
ducked down in the water so only her seaweed green eyes were
visible.

“
Why Nixie? What does that mean?
”

“
The council chooses in the naming
ceremony
,” Nerissa said, lifting the child out of the water.
“
It’s alright Nixie, Marina will come to swim with us
someday.”

I chose to ignore Nerissa’s prediction, and
smiled at Nixie, “
Naming ceremony? What’s that?
”

“
It’s part of a council meeting
,
Adria was going to have one too… She came to show us that she
was blessed like Nerissa... but she never came back from the big
place
.”

“
You saw my mother when she was
pregnant?
” I was stunned, “
Big place?
”

“
Mother?
” Nerissa cocked her head like
a dog.

“
Pregnant?
” Lorelei chimed in.

I groped for the words, trying to come to
grips with the last bit of information at the same time,
“
Adria
,” I told Nerissa, turning to Lorelei,
“
Blessed
.”

Nixie wriggled out of Nerissa’s arms and swam
closer to inspect my legs.

“
Where was the place she never came back
from?
” I asked, pretty sure I knew what happened after
that.

“
You saw
,” she laughed, “
Where that
big thing goes over the water.
”

“
You mean the Golden Gate Bridge?
”

“
The big thing is not golden,
” Nerissa
said seriously, “
It’s more like starfish color.
”

“
It’s like Nixie’s hair!
” Lorelei
cried in delight, making Nerissa laugh. Nixie joined in and started
laughing too, looking between the two of them as if to try and find
out why.

“
She swam with me
…” I said slowly,
“
She transformed when she was pregnant... I mean,
blessed.”

They all stared at me blankly.

I pantomimed a belly, “
You know, like
this
…”

“
Yes! Adria was so happy she came out to
swim all the time!
” Nerissa shook her head in disapproval,
“
But she kept going back to the man she saw
.”

I was shocked to realize that I was more like
my mother than I knew. Even after she met my father she’d been
going back and forth between her two worlds– trying to have it both
ways.

What if I’d been born underwater? If I took
my first breath of water instead of air, would I have been fully
mermaid, like Nixie? She would never know anything about the land,
but she could have. She would never see the wonders of human
creativity, and remain completely unaware of the divine spark that
inspires art, music and all the wonders of the world– the spark
contained within herself.

Nixie was born to be immortal; she would
never grow old or weak, but she would remain ignorant. She would be
young, strong and beautiful for all eternity. I wondered why my
mother had made the suicidal choice to have me in a hospital. She
must not have known what it would mean for her. My eyes filled with
salty tears.

Nixie tentatively patted my knee, “
Don’t
be sad
,” she said, “
Swim with us
.”

The tiny girl smiled brightly at me. Her hair
was shining in the sunlight, a bright burnt-orange red– the exact
color of the bridge, and her eyes… I was happy to see she looked
nothing like Peter. She swam around my surfboard and lunged out of
the water onto it, wiggling onto my lap. I steadied her, looking at
her little body in amazement. She was as perfectly formed as all
her sisters, just a childish version, with everything in miniature.
Her tiny tail flapped, and she reached her arms around my neck. She
was adorable.

“
Marina
,” she said in a reedy high
pitched voice, clear as a flute, “
You are the one that saved my
Nerissa! Come and play with my friends.”
She took my hand as
she slipped back into the water, trying to pull me off the
board.

“
Wait! I have to stay on my
surfboard…
”

“
Surfboard
,” she repeated, cocking her
head like her mother.

I could hear Lorelei explain things to her in
my mind, mostly just random images of the times we’d surfed
together. Then I saw another, more disturbing image of me from the
time I’d been forced to transform; hovering underwater with glowing
skin and a tail.

Nixie smiled and climbed onto my board as
Lorelei took a hold of it and towed us both through turbulent,
choppy waters closer to the rocky shoreline. Seabirds nesting by
the thousands in the craggy rocks screeched and flapped as we
approached, clearly seeing my human form as a threat. There were
several types of gulls and cormorants, along with funny little
puffins waddling in their midst. The sound was deafening.

“
It’s alright!
” Nerissa called out to
them, “
Go back to your eggs.
”

After the birds settled down I could see a
myriad of shiny heads bobbing to the surface all around us. It was
a pod of fur seals, and their faces were so cute they made me laugh
with delight. Big cartoonish eyes were set in round whiskered
heads, and sweet little newborn seals were swimming alongside their
mothers. Nixie squealed with joy and threw herself in among them,
tumbling and rolling in the water, joining in their baby games.

We rounded the island, coming close to a
rocky beach where enormous Elephant seals were hauled up onto the
shore, gigantic males with their large fleshy noses dwarfing the
females and pups they jealously guarded. They all noticed my
surfboard, eyes rolling with alarm and suspicion, only relaxing
when they spotted the mermaids.

I realized that this little group of rugged
islands was essentially a marine nursery. Treacherous currents and
a remote location made this an ideal place for marine wildlife to
nest and rear their young, far away from human interference. I’d
heard about this rocky spot before, remembering that it was famous
for its white shark population. I looked nervously out at the deep
blue waters surrounding us, imagining the big hungry fish lying in
wait there. I could understand why the animals were so happy to see
the mermaids.

“
Are there any good waves around
here?
” I asked Lorelei.

We found a wicked point break on the northern
edge of the islands, and started surfing and playing the day away.
The mermaids laughed so melodiously and infectiously I couldn’t
help but join in, and soon my sides ached from the effort. I grew
more and more tired, thirsty and cold. The sun dipped low in the
sky, a fiery red orb touching the horizon that seemed to flatten as
it sank out of sight. I finally told them all that I needed to get
back home, hugging Nerissa and Nixie goodbye and flopping down on
my board in exhaustion.

“
Why do you have to go?
” asked Nixie,
with a babyish pout.

“
I live on land,
” I told her, adding,
“
But I can visit.
”

As the scenery sped by, I thought about
everything I’d just learned, and tried to assimilate it all.
Nerissa would have died if she hadn’t returned to the sea, but she
wouldn’t have had the baby anywhere near as soon. I remembered how
weak the mermaids were on land, and how strong they became when
they were returned to the life-giving waters of the ocean. The
water must somehow have accelerated Nixie’s growth.

Wow, I thought, I would have been a
full-fledged mermaid if my mother had returned to the sea to have
me. Being born in the water must be the key, or being born to a
strong mermaid mother. It was strange to consider– could a baby
transform if it was forced onto land? Could Nixie? Could my mother
have returned to the sea to have me and brought me back to live
with my father? Did she know she was going to die by staying?

I was more confused than ever when Lorelei
dropped me off at Aptos beach, tired and weak from thirst. I felt
like I couldn’t think straight; there was too much new and
confusing information whirling around inside my head. I’d forgotten
to eat again, and I was dizzy and lightheaded when I paddled the
last hundred yards into shore.

Ethan was waiting on the beach, and I could
see him pacing nervously as I approached. I felt bad about worrying
him, but I had to find a way to make him understand it was what I
needed to do. I don’t think he fully grasped exactly how dangerous
my anger could be, or how much it frightened me.

“Hey,” I said as I staggered ashore, trying
to smile reassuringly. Then I tripped over my rubber booted feet
and fell flat on my face.

CHAPTER SIX

STUDIO

Ethan rushed over, lifting me to my feet,
“Are you okay?”

“Yes, yes,” I said, feeling foolish as I
brushed the sand from my arms, “I’m just really tired.”

I changed out of my wetsuit, trying to hide
the fact that my hands were trembling with fatigue. Ethan picked up
my board and stood watching, his face unreadable. We walked off the
beach in an awkward silence, and when we reached the landing
between the flights of stairs he stopped, putting my board down and
turning to face me. He looked upset.

“Why do you always have to do this?” he
asked. His voice rose, “How are we ever going to be married if you
run off everytime you get upset?”

“I’m sorry… But you don’t understand. I had
to get away from there…”

“Away from me?”

“Yes,” I squeezed my eyes shut, “I mean– No!”
I looked up at him, “From me… from the way I was feeling.”

Yeah, the way I was feeling about you, I
thought.

He sounded exasperated, “Marina, the accident
wasn’t your fault!”

“How do you know?”

He didn’t answer, and looked out at the dark
water, “Why do you have to go to them?”

“Change of venue?” I said flippantly, but it
wasn’t too far off the mark. He wasn’t amused.

He sighed, “Are you mad at me?”

“No.” I thought about him discussing me with
his ex-girlfriend, “Well, maybe a little.” Our eyes met and I
couldn’t help smiling ruefully. “Why didn’t you tell me she was
back?”

He sucked in his breath sharply, stepping
forward to embrace me tightly, “Don’t let her come between us… She
doesn’t have anything to do with me and you…”

“Did you tell her about us?” I asked.

He sighed, “I was about to, but I didn’t get
a chance…”

“A likely story,” I said jokingly, but I
couldn’t help but wonder if he didn’t want anyone to know about our
secret engagement. Maybe he was having second thoughts.

“It’s true,” he squeezed me tighter and I
couldn’t doubt him.

I sighed and hugged him back, but I knew she
was going to make as much trouble as she could, and she struck me
as the kind of girl who liked a challenge. I had no idea what to do
about it.

“I’m always afraid you’re never going to come
back to me,” he said gruffly, “I
can’t stand
the idea of you
being out there… all alone in the dark.”

“I’m not alone.”

He walked me over to the bench and pulled me
down to sit with him. “I want to be the one you run to,” he
whispered in my ear. I didn’t know what to say. How could I
describe how much I needed to be in the ocean without scaring him?
Apparently, I came by it honestly, for I was behaving very much
like my mother had. I looked down.

“Where did you go today?” he asked.

I paused, not quite sure I was ready to talk
about seeing Nerissa with Nixie just yet. I wanted to get Evie’s
take on the whole mermaid reproduction thing. It was just too weird
for words. “We went up north,” I said, thinking about all the
animals I’d seen.

“Where?” he asked, stroking my cheek.

“She took me past the Golden Gate, out to
some islands.”

“Islands?” he was alarmed.

“More like rocks, out in the middle of
nowhere,” I said calmly, “There were lots of different kinds of
birds there, and seals with their pups… and Elephant seals
too…”

I could see the whites of his eyes in the
dusky light, “You went all the way out to the Farralons? What
for?”

“Uhm, she swims really fast… and–”

I was just about to tell him everything about
Nerissa and Nixie when he started kissing me like it was his last
chance. I was out of breath when we finally broke apart, and I laid
my dizzy head on his chest, warming my hands under his shirt.

He kissed the top of my head, “When we’re
married,” he started in again, “We’ll go surfing together every
morning.”

“What about school?” I asked sleepily.

“We’ll go before classes,” he said.

“Won’t we be tired all day?” I yawned, warm
and drowsy.

“We’ll go to bed early every night,” his
voice rumbled through me, “And some days, we’ll stay in bed all
day.”

I scoffed, for I could hardly imagine him
skipping a day’s work, “I’ll believe
that
when I see it. All
you ever want to do is work.”

He shifted a little and looked away.

I felt bad, realizing that I’d hurt his
feelings, “I’m sorry, It’s just that I miss going surfing with
you.”

“It will be different when we’re married,” he
said softly.

I was beginning to realize that he was being
completely unrealistic about how great things would suddenly be
once we were living together. As much as I wanted to believe the
pretty picture he painted, I knew there was still trouble on the
horizon. I thought about meeting with the council and snuggled
closer to him.

“Let’s go,” he said, “Before Abby sends out a
search party.”

The next few days flew by. Every morning I
picked up Shayla and we trudged up and down the fire escape,
filling the dumpsters with garbage and soundproofing debris. Pretty
soon the place started to look like a real artist’s loft, all
exposed brick and high ceilings. We swept and scrubbed every square
inch of floor, exposing handsome rough-hewn pine planks. The space
really brightened up once the windows were washed clean, and Bill
had the missing panes replaced so there’d be no more avian
intruders.