05 Desperate Match (21 page)

Chapter Eleven

A
s Chase drove back on campus, Jill focused on breathing and tried to keep calm. It was tricky, because on one hand, she was pumped and riding the wave of adrenaline from her interview, and on the other, she was terrified of Rowan’s reaction. She’d confessed her love for him on television. What if he didn’t share her feelings?

She didn’t have long to ponder her fears. The minute they drove into the underground garage, they spotted Adam, Emma, and Rowan waiting inside. Next to her, Xander grew more alert and practically jumped out of the vehicle before Chase had fully pulled into the spot. He was in Emma’s arms and they were gone from the garage before Jill could say hi to her.

“Thanks for driving, Chase,” she called to his back as he hastily exited the garage, presumably to go to Samara who was in their house with their son.

Loren and Adam showed more decorum and stuck around for a minute to rehash the interview. “Jill was amazing. Wasn’t she, Adam?”

He nodded. “Shep was all but cheering.”

Jill smiled at that, but pleasing the head commander hadn’t been her number one goal. Helping Rowan had been her first priority. He stood next to his brother, silent and tall. The second Loren and Adam were out of the garage, she looked Rowan in the eye.

“Hi,” she said.

He smiled. “You were amazing. Mark my words, you’re going to get flower deliveries and fan mail tomorrow.”

She blinked. “You think?” She shook off the surprise and got back to the more important issue. Taking Rowan by the hand, she led him out of the garage and back toward their tiny apartment. “I want to apologize again for not telling you about this at first. I should’ve trusted you not to stop me. I doubted you, and it was wrong.”

He squeezed her hand. “At first I was pissed, and really hurt, but then I saw you on TV…Loren’s right. You were amazing. Better than amazing.”

Her cheek brushed against his arm as she leaned in to him. “Thank you. Yours is the opinion I care about most. But I’m so sorry.”

“As I said, I was mad, but it was probably better I wasn’t there. Seeing Jack there?” He stopped walking and shook his head. “Would have been ugly.”

“It was ugly enough already. I nearly ran out of the studio,” she confessed.

“What stopped you?”

They started walking again while she thought about her answer. It was hard to concentrate on her answer when residents of the campus kept wandering by to congratulate her or pound Rowan on the back.

“I wanted to face him. I’d spent six years too scared to face him, and I finally felt safe enough to do it.”

“Because Chase and Xander were there? They wouldn’t have let him touch you.”

“Well, that,” she admitted, “but mostly because of you.”

“Me? I wasn’t there.”

She leaned into him, wrapping an arm around his waist. “You weren’t there tonight, but you’ve been there for me since I ran away. Knowing I have you on my side gave me the courage.” She stopped walking and turned to face him. Even though he was stronger than she could ever hope to be, he let her guide his body. Standing on tiptoes, she planted her lips on his. He tried to deepen the kiss immediately, but she pulled back. “I meant what I said on TV. I love you.”

“I know you meant it, ‘cause I feel the same about you.”

And then there was no more thinking, no more speaking, as he pulled her into him and kissed her for real. When he finally let her catch a breath, she whispered something in his ear that had him grinning and looking worried at the same time.

“You sure?” he asked.

She nodded. “One hundred percent. Just go slow, all right?”

He grabbed her hand and tugged her toward their apartment. “Like a turtle,” he promised.

She didn’t have time to get nervous. He had her back in his apartment and was kissing her before her brain could catch up. Her body was on board, and she felt her nipples harden under her coat while her lower body turned jelly–like.

“I’m going to make this good for you. I promise,” Rowan said, while he sat on the bed to tug off his boots.

“I know you will.” She stood watching him remove his clothes, enjoying the view and loving the fact that she made a man as handsome and strong as him wild. It didn’t seem real sometimes. But soon Rowan was naked and standing in front of her, touching her gently, and it became very, very real.

“Can I take this off?” Rowan asked in a whisper, tugging at her thick coat.

She answered by shrugging out of it and toeing out of the high heels she’d borrowed from Thea. “We have to be careful. This outfit is on loan.” Carefully she placed the coat on the hanger he’d retrieved from the closet. She watched as her naked man strolled the few steps to the closet to hang up the coat. The view of his muscled ass was great going, but the view was even better on the return trip. She got a healthy view of his penis, which wasn’t fully erect yet, but was halfway down the path to full arousal.

He caught the focus of her stare and his shaft jumped a smidge. “Like the view?” he asked softly, but there was laughter in his voice.

She kept her eyes staring and smiled. “You’re beautiful. Your body is perfect.”

He was quiet for a weighty moment. “I love that you think so. Personally, I always felt like something was missing.” His partial arm gave a small wave.

She burst into laughter. So this was what it was to love a man who made her laugh, who made her desire, and most importantly, didn’t make her cry in pain. “You’re perfect,” she repeated.

He smiled at her, then frowned. He pursed his lips and scanned her. In a pretend, snooty British accent, he said, “Madam, we seem to have a problem.”

Laughter bubbled up in her chest as she queried the problem.

“Why”—he puffed on an invisible pipe; she could almost see the smoke rings—“you’re fully clothed, while I appear to be quite naked.”

“Any suggestions on how to fix the problem?” She’d had no idea her voice could get so sultry.

He responded with heat in his eyes, the British Professor cast out of the room. He was all hard soldier now. Hard and hers. “I have a few ideas,” he drawled.

“Oh?” She felt powerful and like a goddess, and they’d barely gotten started. She knew she was still riding the high of doing well on the television interview tonight, but it was more than that. It was the rediscovery of herself. Before she’d met Jack, she’d been full of ideas about her future, so sure she was going to conquer the world and have fun trying. Those dreams had been on ice for so long, she’d lost sight of who she was. The frost was coming off the mirror, and she liked what she saw. “I have some ideas also.”

Slowly and carefully, she shimmied out of the dress. When she’d put it on hours ago, she’d wondered at the ease of wearing a wrap dress, now she blushed thinking about the ease of it coming off. Was this why Thea owned it? Because it slid off her body more easily than her coat? She waited until Rowan had hung up the dress and faced her again. Now for the tough part of removing the final barrier to total nudity. Then again, maybe not so tough since her underwear and bra were not on loan from a friend. They were all hers, and they were u.g.l.y.

During the last self–defense class, she’d joined the women in the locker room to change out of their sweaty workout gear and back into street clothes. Nearly every woman there had been wearing lingerie out of a catalog or a man’s fantasy. At first she hadn’t stared, not wanting to be called a pervert, but after the third woman walked by in decadent lace and ribbon, she’d had to stare.

Emma had caught her gaze and laughingly explained it was all Chase’s fault. He’d stolen all of Samara’s practical undergarments during their first days together and replaced them with sexy lingerie. She’d liked his reaction to her wearing it so much, she’d whispered the secret to one woman who’d told another, and so on. The joke now was that nearly every woman on campus dressed like a high–class call girl under their sensible clothing, and each male thought it was his match alone wearing the sexy lingerie. In reality, it was all of them.

Jill had laughed but inwardly cringed. Was that what men liked? Thongs and demi–bras? She couldn’t afford the six pack of cotton panties from Walmart let alone satin from Victoria’s Secret. Would Rowan be disappointed at her in grungy, well–worn undergarments?

She shucked them off now and tossed them to a corner before he could get a good look. Sexy lingerie moved up her mental shopping list for her next paycheck.

The heated look on Rowan’s face told her he hadn’t noticed her underwear, or he had more important things to look at. Like her. Despite living together for more than a month, she’d been discreet about changing clothes. Since she hadn’t been ready for sex, she hadn’t wanted to tease him, so she’d changed in the bathroom and kept her body out of sight. It was on display now, and she warmed under his gaze.

“C’mere.” He crooked a finger at her, and she stepped against his strong body, letting her nipples brush against the taut skin of his pectorals. She leaned up as he leaned down and their lips met. They kept it slow and gentle at first, but soon her tongue explored his mouth more deeply. His taste wound its way around her body, curling its alluring elusive tendrils into dormant places she’d ignored.

She’d forgotten what this felt like, this drugging floating heaviness that invaded one’s blood, yet sending exciting tingles elsewhere. Her vision blurred from arousal as Rowan’s large palm flattened against the base of her spine, bringing her closer. At the touch of his erection, she sucked back a breath, then pressed closer. Her eyes closed against the pleasure. She wanted to be on her back, legs spread with him pushing deep inside. But despite the arousal churning and making its demand, she wasn’t there yet.

“I could kiss you all day,” Rowan murmured, lowering his lips from her mouth to the swath of skin between her neck and collarbone. Her head lolled to the side, and she let her hands explore the hard planes of muscle on his tall body.

“Don’t,” she managed to say. A wall of cold slapped her as he stepped quickly away leaving her alone. Her eye flew open to stare at him. “Where’d you go? What’s wrong?”

His eyes widened back at her. “You said don’t. You call the shots here, Jill. I don’t ever want to force you.”

The love she felt for him boiled over to dangerous volcanic levels. Despite the arousal she knew he had—the evidence was still pointing at her—he was ready to let her take the lead and to stop if she asked. “I meant don’t just kiss me all night. I want more. I think I might die if I don’t get more.”

“Oh, thank God,” he muttered. He was on her in a flash, grabbing at her, this time taking her mouth in a teeth–clashing, tongue–thrusting kiss that she returned with equal fervor. Momentum carried them to the bed, where he lowered her down, leaving her to lie on her back looking up at him. He loomed over her, and she waited for him to lower himself over her and plant himself inside.

He lowered down, all right, but not where she was expecting. Instead of lying on top of her and pressing her into the mattress, he lowered to a kneeling position on the floor between her thighs. “Spread,” he said, and hooked her foot on his shoulder. Was he going to…? A hot breath brushed through her curls and her eyes closed with both nerves and anticipation.

She’d never, not ever, had this done to her. Rowan’s tongue swiped a line straight up her seam, landing on her clitoris, and all thoughts of the past vanished. There was only room for her and Rowan in this room.

For a moment her eyes flashed open and she leaned up on her elbows to watch the sight Rowan made, with his dark hair buried between her pale thighs. It was the most erotic thing she’d seen in her life, and it felt even better.

She’d thought she was ready for penetration before, but now her body softened and grew wetter as excitement built. She ran a loving hand through Rowan’s hair, which he took as a sign to dig in deeper, now inserting one finger while his tongue toyed with her swollen clitoris. “Rowan, please,” she managed to gasp.

“More?” He pulled away for a second to ask.

Dumbly she nodded and used both hands to guide his mouth back to her dripping core. She could feel the burn in her thighs as she held them as wide as possible, knowing she’d be sore in the morning. She couldn’t wait.

A second finger joined his other deep inside her, while his thumb took over for his tongue. He had better things to do with his tongue, like talk dirty to her. The things he whispered had her cheeks heating but made her brain send signals to her body that orgasm was impending. The pleasure spiraled higher, and soon coherent speech was impossible. She could only pant, moan, and beg.

She was close, but wanted more. She wanted—no needed—him buried deep inside. “Rowan, now. I want you.” She held out her arms needing him to fall on top of her and screw her to the bed.

Finally, he rose and stood over her looking down. She tugged at his hand, and tried to use her feet to pull him down, but he stood still, his erection jutting out, long and hard. The slit glistened with pre–come, and she remembered how it had felt in her hand and in her mouth, and her pussy pulsed with urgency. She groaned when he grabbed a pillow off the bed and kneeled again.

“No more foreplay. I want sex.”

He laughed, then stroked a damp strand of hair off her forehead. “You’ll get it. Missionary isn’t the best position for me. Sex will be better if I balance on my legs.”

Oh. She realized missionary position would require him to balance on his only arm, leaving no hands for touching.

“How do you want me?” She sat up ready to contort into any position if it would get his penis in her vagina faster.

He chuckled. “Lie back again. Hold your thighs wide.”

Following his directions, she spread for him, too aroused to feel embarrassed by how exposed her body was. He could see every dripping inch, but he wasn’t looking. He was leaning over to the nightstand and grabbing out a condom packet. With his teeth and hand he tore it open then started to roll it on. “Help me?”

Stroke his penis? No prob. The feel of her palm on his shaft had him groaning and her scooting her butt closer to the edge of the bed hoping to speed things along. But Rowan seemed determined to take his damn sweet time about things. Didn’t he know she hadn’t had an orgasm in forever? It was suddenly as critical as air and water that she have one very, very soon.