05 Desperate Match (23 page)

It was a daunting thought. As the newest resident of The Program, she barely had a handle on the mission and scope of the organization, yet people expected her to be an expert because she’d gone on TV to share her story. On unsteady feet, she backed away from the giggling women in the employee break room and hustled to find a private corner to text Emma with the phone Rowan had insisted she have if she were to go off campus for work.

To:Emma

Having panic attack at work. Everyone’s staring. How do u handle? —J

To: Jill

Hold your head up. No one at school knows I’m matched except 1 friend.

To: Emma

Shit. What do I do?

To: Jill

Keep calm. Excitement is fresh & new. Will settle down soon.

To: Emma

Crossing fingers. Can’t stand this

To: Jill

Sorry. Hugs

And just like that, Jill felt better. Let people stare. At least she had people around her to stare and friends to text and send virtual hugs. It was a one–eighty from where she’d been when she lived with Jack.

The rest of the day sucked, but every time her anxiety and self–consciousness about being stared at reared its ugly head, she reminded herself that she had Rowan and Loren and even now Commander Shepard on her side. She was no longer fighting a one–woman war. It made a huge difference.

After what seemed like an endless day on the floor in which she was forever trying to match the wrong light bulb to the wrong lamp, it was finally time to go home. With her head bent over her phone, she texted Rowan that she was on her way as she entered the dimly lit employee lot.

Overhead a light bulb flickered and a man’s voice called her name. Her head flew up at the familiarity of her ex–husband’s voice, but she didn’t have time to respond before he was on her, grabbing her arms and forcing her to drop her cell phone.

“Jack,” she gasped. “Get off me. What are you doing?” She cursed her decision to not have a restraining order in place. She hadn’t seen the point. She was always on campus, and it wasn’t as if Jack would honor one anyway.

“I’m taking you home where you belong,” he said, trying to wrestle her into submission and drag her toward his car, which she saw running a few feet away.

“Help,” she shouted as loudly as she could, but they remained quite alone in the vast pavement parking lot.

“Stop shouting, Jilly. Get in the car. I’m taking you home.”

“You’re being stupid, Jack,” she said, struggling in his tight grip. “Everyone will guess you kidnapped me. Where are you going to take me? Rowan knows where you live. They’ll come find me.”

“No,” he said, managing to drag her a foot closer to the waiting car. “We’ll go on TV again. Together. You’ll say you made a mistake, that you still love me.”

“Not a chance.” Tears entered her eyes as he tugged on her hair hard enough to yank out a few strands. “We’re getting divorced, Jack. Get over it.” She focused on remaining limp and forcing him to shoulder all her dead weight.

“Only if I sign the paperwork or if we live apart for six months. I got a lawyer too, Jill.” He dragged her along the concrete and she focused on literally digging her heels in.

“You’re crazy. Rowan’s going to kill you over this.”

“Shut up.” He shook her hard and removed one restraining hand long enough to slap her. “We’ll run. We won’t go home. Your stupid cripple won’t find us.”

She was terrified but managed to give a laugh full of bravado. “You think he won’t find you? He’s a freaking soldier for the US military. You think you can hide from the army, Jack?”

Maybe taunting him wasn’t such a hot idea. His anger gave him strength and he threw her hard against the car they’d now reached. Panic hit her harder than her ribs hit the car as she realized if Jack got her, she might never escape again, especially now that he knew she was capable.

She was going to have to flee now. Summoning every bit of wisdom Xander had taught during his self–defense classes, she let Jack approach her again and slammed her heel into his instep. When he bent slightly wincing, she spun out bringing up her purse into his nose. Hard. And then she took off running knowing he was only a step behind, but as she ran she saw two security guards running through the parking lot toward her.

“Freeze,” one yelled, and she realized they were yelling at Jack. The other caught up to her and grabbed her, putting her safely behind his back.

Jack, realizing he was now outnumbered turned to try to escape to his car, but three police cars squealed into the lot with sirens flashing. Her idiot husband ignored the police loudspeaker’s orders to freeze and instead made a dash for his car, entering it, and tried to peel out of the parking lot.

Jill and her rescuers jumped away from being mowed down as Jack tried to escape.

“What an asshole,” one guard commented as they watched the police expertly surround him in their vehicles and subdue him.

“Are you okay, Jill?” one guard asked.

She nodded, feeling the shakes starting, but they might have been happy shakes at watching Jack being arrested in front of her eyes. Today went in the top ten happiest days in her life. “How did you know?”

“Surveillance cameras,” the taller guard said, pointing up at the flickering light where a black bulbous camera was also mounted. “I’m sorry it took as long to get to you as we did.”

“It’s okay. You got here in time. That’s what counts.”

“And we have the whole thing recorded,” the shorter, stouter guard said almost gleefully. “Evidence for court.” All three watched as Jack was handcuffed and put in the back of a squad car.

An officer came over to talk to them. They stood in the dark for a long while answering questions, and Jill agreed to press charges. One hundred percent yes. No way was she letting Jack off the hook. Finally, the officers were done with her and released her to go home. The Ikea guards, who had appointed themselves her personal bodyguards, escorted her to her car and promised to provide the same service every time she arrived or departed work. She couldn’t thank them enough.

She climbed into the car after assuring her knights she was okay to drive and checked the cell phone she scooped up on the walk back to the car. Strange, there was no message from Rowan. Normally he responded within seconds, but he hadn’t responded to her text about leaving work. The time stamp showed it had been forty–five minutes since she sent the text. She should’ve arrived home thirty–five minutes ago. So why wasn’t he texting and calling her, panicking?

She sent off a quick text about being delayed and started up the car. No word about the incident with Jack; she didn’t want him worrying, but she kept the phone on the passenger seat so she could see Rowan’s response the second it came it. Nothing did. Weird.

Chapter Thirteen

H
ey, Rowan, can I talk to you for a sec?”

Rowan stepped to Ryan, a soldier he didn’t know very well, curious to see what the slightly older soldier would have to tell him. “Sure. What’s up?”

“In private.” Ryan looked uncomfortable.

“Okay?” He led the way to an empty office in the main building. “Will this take long? Jill’s gonna be home from work soon.”

Ryan crossed his arms and leaned on the sole desk in the room. “Shouldn’t.”

Rowan stood facing him and waited.

“Look, I know we don’t know each other too well, but I’d want to know, so I’m telling you.”

“What—”

Ryan held up a hand. “I’m getting there, but I’m a little uncomfortable. Especially since we barely know each other.”

“Just spit it out,” Rowan said, getting annoyed and slightly worried at the same time.

“Thea overheard something, and she told me. We’ve been keeping it to ourselves, but…after last night…I think you should know.”

“Know what?”

Ryan bit his lip then blurted, “Thea overheard Doctor Wise offer Adam’s sperm sample to Jill. She told her she should have your brother’s baby rather than risking a genetic defect from your kid.”

Outwardly he showed no emotion, but inside he’d been sucker punched. “I…”

“I’m sorry, Rowan. Not the kind of thing I would’ve thought about before, but now Thea’s pregnant. I’d want to know for sure it’s mine.”

“What did Jill say?” he asked. “Did Thea hear that part of the conversation?”

Now Ryan looked like he’d rather be in an Iraqi desert in full combat gear than in the room with Rowan. “Said she’d think about it,” he finally said.

And there was the TKO. He was down for the count. The next few seconds were a blur. He thought he said thanks to Ryan for telling him or some inane sentence and then walked in a stupor back to his room where he sat on the bed staring at the wall.

Distantly he heard his phone buzzing and saw it was a text from Jill. He ignored it and continued sitting, thinking. He didn’t know how long he sat there feeling sorry for himself. This morning, while making love to Jill, anything was possible. He was king of the world, finally getting everything he wanted in life. And now? Now he was lower than low.

He’d been betrayed by the woman he thought loved him and by The Program. He thought they’d accepted him. What a joke. They didn’t want him around but tolerated him for the sake of his dad and Adam. His mom had had the right idea to get the hell out of this place.

The phone buzzed again, and he dismissed the text without reading it. Jill would be here soon. He’d stay long enough to say goodbye, and then he was out of here. The right thing to do was to kick her out, but he didn’t have the heart. Where would she go? Plus, it sounded like The Program now saw her as a more useful human than he was. After all, they could breed off her. Him, they could do nothing with.

He threw some clothes in a bag and penned a note to Adam warning him that Doctor Wise was trying to breed his children on women other than Loren. His brother had a right to know that the kids he’d call his nieces and nephews might actually be his sons and daughters.

It seemed to take forever for Jill to get home. He didn’t remember which young soldier was her driver tonight. He’d been toying with the idea of buying her a car, but his salary and savings didn’t have new car in the budget anytime soon. The joke was he’d thought he was earning a legit salary for the first time in his life. He’d had the odd job here or there, but never anything with benefits and a retirement plan. How stupid of him to think he was a valued employee. Clearly his salary had been money Shep had been willing to throw away to solve the problem of his birth and his family situation.

He deserved nothing, because he offered nothing to The Program. Truthfully, he couldn’t blame Jill for taking Doctor Wise’s offer. It was only good sense. Who wanted to knowingly breed children with his flawed genes?

At last he heard footsteps outside his door and a soft knock. “Rowan?” Jill called from outside the door. It was Program etiquette to always knock before entering a room. Locks were rarely used, so it was polite to give a two–second warning before bursting into a room.

“I’m here,” he found his voice long enough to answer. It was surprising how normal he sounded. He felt so broken inside, it seemed like his voice would have followed suit, but no, he sounded the same as always.

“Hi.” Jill filled the doorway, smiling hesitantly at him. It was obvious she was remembering their lovemaking that was still so new. For a second he was tempted to grab her, kiss her in welcome and pretend he knew nothing. It’d be easy. They’d live out their lives on campus, and he’d raise his brother’s kids as his own, complicit in the lie. He half rose, ready to set the falsehood in motion, then sat back down. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t spend the rest of his life faking it. Not even for a woman he’d thought he loved.

Jill didn’t seem to notice his reticence and came over to kiss him on the lips. He savored the feel and texture of her mouth on his. It’d be their last kiss. He had to remember it. Then he noticed her outfit was streaked with dirt and two of her fingernails looked ragged. After her coat was removed and tossed over the desk chair, he saw tears in her blouse and bruises starting to form on her wrists.

“What the hell happened?” he roared, grabbing at her arms.

She didn’t answer and instead launched herself at his chest, forcing him to catch her in a tight hug.

“Jill?”

She trembled in his embrace, and he hated himself for wondering if this was an act. Was she truly scared, or had she devised some scenario to garner his sympathy?

“Jack showed up at work today,” she said against his chest.

Every muscle in his body tightened. “And? What happened?”

“He tried to kidnap me. He nearly got me to his car.” She broke off to gulp in air through her sobs.

He clutched her tighter, knowing he was an idiot to offer her comfort when she’d broken his heart.

“I would’ve been gone, Rowan. If he’d managed to get me in the car. He could’ve taken me anywhere, locked me away. I never would’ve seen you again.”

Would you have cared
, he thought, but aloud, he asked, “How did you escape?”

“The store security guards. They saw me on the security cameras and came running out. They called the police, too.” She lifted a teary but smiling face toward his. “He was arrested. The whole thing was caught on camera, and I’m pressing charges.”

He gave her one last hug before he stepped away from her forever. “That’s awesome. I mean, not that he tried to kidnap you. That sucks, but he got caught. Makes your life easier.”

“It does.” She smiled and leaned up to kiss him, but he turned his face away.

“Rowan? What’s wrong?” She looked at him with bewildered puppy dog eyes.

Carefully, he disengaged himself from her embrace and moved to lean against the dresser as far away from her as possible.

“Rowan?” she said again.

“Jill, we don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?” Her brows lowered over her eyes.

“Fake it. I know about Doctor Wise. I know you’ve been faking this whole thing with me. It’s fine. I get it. I might’ve done the same thing in your situation.”

“Rowan, what the hell are you talking about?”