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Chapter 41

West

“No. No. … West?”

My lids opened as I rolled over and turned on the lamp. I hadn’t been asleep well, if at all. Hell, I hadn’t slept good in days. With Everleigh’s flu came nightmares almost all throughout the night and day. Normally, I would have been pissed at the lack of sleep, but I couldn’t ignore the one thing that set my mind at ease: It was always me she was calling to. Not Bram.
Me.
And that meant she was becoming mine, just like I had wanted.

“Shh. It’s okay, baby. I’m here.”

I brushed back her dampened hair, pausing as she jumped at my touch. Almost immediately, her eyes flew open. There was hesitation before she launched herself into my arms. Sobs tore from her mouth, just as her nails pushed into my back. And she held so tightly. I knew she didn’t want to, but she couldn’t fight what she was beginning to feel.

“I was so a-afraid.”

“Of what? Do you remember what this one was about?” I continued to stroke her hair as I pulled back enough to look into her face. A face that was quickly becoming more dear to me. More … There wasn’t words, just emotions. When I looked at Everleigh, it was like my mind blanked out and all I wanted to do was continue to stare. I fed off of the racing of my heart. Off of how she managed to make my mind stop focusing on everything but her. It didn’t make sense how something so insignificant could be so vital.
Love—violent, beautiful, corrupt love.

“He’s trying to take me away from you. I don’t know who he is. It’s so dark, but he’s dragging me deeper into the darkness, jerking and pulling at me. His voice … he’s whispering threats. He wants to hurt me,” she sobbed, letting her forehead fall back into my chest.

“No one will ever take you away. Look at me.” I angled her head back. Her skin was still paler than normal, but I could tell she was feeling better than the previous night. The brightness of her blue eyes had me pausing before I could even think to continue. “No one is going to take you away from me. I don’t care who they are. If anyone even
thinks
of it, they’re dead. Do you understand me?”

“I don’t want to leave here. Leave … you. I’ve seen this before. The morning my old master died.
And then he died.
I’m scared. He’s going to take me; I know he is.”

“No. Shh. You’re safe with me.”

Worry, something I rarely felt, prickled my insides as I pulled her close and scanned the room. I didn’t believe what she was saying. It was the sickness. But I couldn’t push away my own fear of someone truly trying to take her away. I may have treated her badly at times, but she was still mine. She had a part of me, whether I wanted to admit how big that part was or not.

“I’m going put your mind at ease. You can wear it at all times and if for some reason I’m not with you, you will be able to defend yourself.”

“You’re going to give me a weapon?”

“Yes. I’m going to put my trust in you. I think it’s time. Prove to me that I’m not making a mistake. But a warning … if you
ever
pull it out on me, so help me, it’ll be the last thing you ever do.”

An arm wrapped tightly around my ribs and I lowered from my elbow, sliding her up so I could lay to face her. For minutes we stared, not saying anything. Not needing to. Tonight, the tides were turning even more. I knew my evil wasn’t even close to being gone. Hell, even now, I would have loved nothing more than to fuck her ass bloody, but these new emotions were pushing the urge back.

At least for now.

“You’ve been so kind to me over the last few days. Now this? Thank you. I know it can’t be easy for you. I couldn’t even get out of bed, but you fed me, showered me. You haven’t left my side once. And you’re putting trust me in. Something I didn’t expect would ever happen.”

“
You’re my wife
. I told you when I married you that this would come. All I needed was for you to bend, to … grow stronger, and care for me. Everleigh …” I swallowed hard going over the colliding emotions within. I didn’t want to tell her too much. I was conflicted, but I couldn’t lie, either. “Despite what I’ve done, or what I do. I did it for a reason. I know who I am, and I also know what it will take for you to survive at my side. I want that. I want ...” I stopped, making myself look back into her eyes as I searched for the right thing to say. “We can make this work. I’m sure there will be times where you hate what I do to you. Hate
me
. It would be impossible for you not to. But, if you were fierce. If you could push away your hate and try to overlook the bad parts, we could share something great.”

Everleigh’s eyes narrowed and I could tell she was offended at something. “
I am fierce.
Have I not proven it? You’ve beat me, coddled me. Cut me, bandaged me. Enslaved me, loved me. Raped me, kissed me. The old me is dead, but I am more alive now than I have ever been.
How fiercer do you need me?
I am enough
. I can survive anything you throw at me. You say we can share something great. Are we not, now?”

“You want great? Drop the mask and let’s speak the truth. Unless you’re too much of a coward.” Rage sparked in her eyes and I knew I had her. “I won’t hit you. I won’t take offense to anything you say. You have my word. But be honest with me, because I’m doing the same with you. I’ve cared for you now for days. I’ve been tender. I’ve shown you what I am capable of this way. And sick, you had no mask. You weren’t well enough to pretend. Don’t start now.”

Pressure settled against my shoulder and she rolled me to my back, straddling me. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“That’s one. Don’t make me get to three.”

“I haven’t been pretending. I—”

“Two.”

A mass of emotions swept over her face and the last was genuine—fury. “You want honesty? I don’t think you can handle it.”

“Try me. I gave you my word.”

“You’ve broken it, too.”

My head tilted, but I nodded. “Okay, you have me there. But I promise you right now, you have nothing to fear. Give me honesty. Brutal, ugly honesty.”

Deep breaths had Everleigh’s chest rising and falling through her building anger. “I hate you for you’ve done.
I hate you
,” she hissed, lowering more onto my chest. “There are no words for how much I want to hurt you. I look at you, and I want to claw your face off. To beat you until I can’t even recognize you anymore.
You make me sick
.”

My smile was automatic. “And despite all of that, you’re falling for me and you can’t stand it.”

A fist slammed into my shoulder and I gripped hard to the back of her neck, bringing her even closer. The resistance was there, but so was something else. Fire—lust?

“Admit it.
You want me.
No matter what I’ve done. Regardless of your stupid love for Bram and you’re inside pleasure for popcorn. Oh yeah,” I said, at her widening eyes, “I know. I saw him go to you that night after the tour. I watched you both eat popcorn … and then you cut yourself and fucked him. His true colors knocked you on your ass. But then I brought you the popcorn you so sweetly asked for. I saw your expressions as you watched me feed you. I snuffed that memory out like water to fire. You didn’t see just him, anymore, you saw me. You’re so confused at what you feel, the mask you’ve gotten so good at wearing is out of reach. Do you even know who you’re trying to pretend to be anymore? Or maybe you’ve realized that you’re not pretending at all.”

Everleigh jerked against my hold, but I didn’t let her go.

“You’ve tried so hard to hate me, but these last few days have confused you. They’ve messed with me as well. We can’t escape this pull, wife. You and I may battle this need to hurt each other, but look at us now. Look at where you are,” I said locking my hand on her hip. “How much longer can you go on hating me before the emotion turns to something else? Something so strong that even my worst behavior can’t affect it?”

“You think I can love a man who does the things you do?”

My thumb pushed into her lower stomach, moving in circles while I watched her reaction. “I don’t think you’re going to have a choice. The mind can’t ignore what the heart desires. You want freedom. You want power. Control. I’m the closest thing you can get to that. I may put you through hell, but the heaven you long for is already yours. What’s blood, scars, and witnessing death, if you’re already where you want to be?”

“You forgot revenge. Power, control, and freedom don’t erase the cruelty you continue to display. It doesn’t make the hate I feel for you lessen.”

“Ah, revenge,” I said, smiling. “Are you not getting your revenge by making me fall in love with you? You’re destroying the monster you hate, piece by piece. You have to get solace in that?”

Nails pushed into my chest as she gripped loosely against me. “I’d much prefer to make you bleed.”

Rage didn’t come. Only a perverse arousal I couldn’t ignore. “Is that what you need? To hurt me for hurting you? If that’s the case, I will give you a gift that will make your heart soar. Let it be proof of my …
affection
for you. One free pass to release the anger for good. To bloody me as much as you wish, without killing me. But with this gift, comes a price. You must throw away the mask and accept these feelings you feel. Submit to them. Let’s see what happens.”

“I never said I had feelings for you.”

“You didn’t have to. I see it. I
feel
it. What are you wet for, my cock, or at the thought of hurting me?”

Deeper her nails sunk into my chest. “You won’t beat me when I’m done? Or a week from now when you’re over this generous mood you’re in?”

“I gave my word,” I said, letting go of her neck so she could sit up straight. “I will never use this against you. Fist’s only, though, wife. You change the rules and use those nails of yours, my word means nothing.”

Whack! Whack! Whack!

There was no hesitation. Not so much as a warning as her fist slammed, repeatedly, right into my mouth. I barely finished talking. The action happened so fast that I hadn’t had time to prepare, more or less react to the blur of her coming at me.

“I hate you! I hate you!

Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack!

Lights exploded in my vision as she connected with one eye, and then the other. I gripped to the mattress, tightening my jaw through the pain. Regardless of her size, she packed one hell of a punch. And she wasn’t stopping. Blood filled my mouth. It nearly choked me from going down my throat, from my nose. My head turned to the side, but I let her continue, staying true to my word that I wouldn’t stop her.

Whack! Whack! Whack … Whack! Whack!

Deep breaths left her and still she kept trying to swing. I’d lost count on the number of hits. They were so fast and hard. Everything blurred with the surprising pain she’d brought on.

“I … hate you. I …”

My head was turned to the side and the slap cracked through my ears like an explosion. I tried blinking, noticing my left eye was already swelling shut.

“You’ve ruined me. You—”

“Are very surprised at my feisty little wife’s temper. And power. Fuck.” I spit blood across the sheet, not giving a shit. “Are you done?”

Crack!

The following slap had me nodding. “I take it you weren’t. Best hurry, your time is running out.

Crack! … Crack!

I flipped Everleigh over, pinning her beneath me. My vision blurred, but came into focus after a few blinks. She was paler than before, and a sheen of sweat was covering her hairline, again. But it was her wide, yet satisfied eyes that had me smiling.

“Do you love me now?”

“Never.”

“Not even a little?”

“Never.”

I laughed, burying my battered face into her neck. Pain shot through my lip and the stinging had me sucking against her skin harder. When my teeth tugged, she gave her shoulders a toss.

“Look at you still trying to fight it. Does it bother you so much to feel something for me?”

What sounded like a roar tore through the room while she thrashed, wildly. Her hand shot up to my neck, and where I thought she was going to hit or choke me, she didn’t. She held the side tight, pulling me down to crush my lips into hers. The pain was excruciating, and I felt every ounce as I thrust my tongue into her mouth. Blood and happiness. They went hand-in-hand with some of the best moments of my life. This one wasn’t any different.

“I fucking knew it.” I ripped her nightgown up, diving in to kiss her again while I tugged down my pajama pants. The moment hot wetness encircled my cock, I didn’t slam into her like I needed. I let the torture carry on even more as I slowly inched inside her channel.

Blood was smeared on the side of Everleigh’s face, covering her chin. It drove me even crazier. I couldn’t stop my tongue from running over the curve of her jaw as I went back to give her mouth attention. She’d done this to me. She’d fucked me up so good and it was worth it if it meant she’d drop this fake loving attitude toward me. I needed her anger. Her truth. Especially if I was going to be able to read her true motives. Just because I may have been falling in love with her, didn’t mean I trusted her. Not even close.