3 Hit the Road Jack (24 page)

“Lost my dear?” I halted immediately at the sound of her voice. I looked to my right to find Imara standing in the doorway of a small shop advertising tarot card readings, psychic readings and few other mediums. At the crease in my brow and confusion on my face, she waved me inside.

Inside, the space was a
diverse
mix of rich patterns, textures and colors found in the Middle East. Deep reds, dark purples, burnt orange and midnight blue painted a royal palate. The knick knacks of gold Buddha’s, Ka
l
i and the sun and moon filled in all the gaps on the wall to wall bookshelf that lined the left wall. Ancient books of varying binds added a warm layer of character to the space. Candles, again in varying colors, sat on the remaining available surfaces as the smell of pungent incense floated through the shop.

She gestured to the dark mahogany table and chair set in the center of the room. She lit all the white candles in the room and closed the purple velvet curtains, instantly creating a cocoon of warmth.

“The white candles will calm your spirit, but likewise enlighten you to its truth,” she stated, taking a seat across from me at the table. She stared directly at me, patience in her aura.

“Um, how long have you had this place?”

She smiled. “That’s not what you really want to know.”

She grabbed my hands, turning them palm up, and placed her own atop mine. She closed her eyes. As if she was projecting her energy over me, a veil of peace settled around me.

“Oh, my dear,” she softly cooed. “Your spirit is lost. Your heart is not speaking with your mind; you are not aligned with your desires. You have lost your
tender
balance of life. You are wandering aimlessly and will surely suffer at the hands of fate if you do not reconnect with yourself.”

A sob escaped me. She knew exactly what it was I was going through. She probably was the only one. Not even Kellan knew it all. I had lost my focus; I felt like a stranger even to myself.

“Calm down child. You are strong. Your spirit belongs to a warrior; the same silent strength your mother had.”

I swallowed the waterfall of tears quickly brimming. The doctor said that vampeens were the most vulnerable and emotional in their first year after transition, but because of the death of my parents so abruptly following it, I was
even
more volatile. It didn’t change the way I felt about my weakness and general state. It wasn’t an acceptable excuse for me. I couldn’t be weak. I couldn’t fall apart on
a
whim. I had to be strong.

“Strength lies in both
the tears shed and unshed Alexa. You know what you are capable of; what you are destined to accomplish. You have nothing to fear. Staten has ensured that you will have
what
you need.”

“What do you mean? How do you-“ She raised a questioning brow at me, challenging my doubt. “Right. Of course you would know about him with all your… gifts?”

“Yes, they are gifts. The gods bless us with the gifts they believe we deserve to aid us in our journeys.
You know you are special because of a preset path, but you do not feel that you are special. It is by obligation only that you press on; not from true heart. In order to save your life and those of the ones you love, you must find the missing link. Your heart and mind must align. You cannot love if your mind does not accept. Likewise, you cannot succeed if your mind does not allow.”

I’d only known Imara for a short time, but she didn’t cease to amaze me. She was so connected. It was as if she was the essence of Mother Earth. She had such a strong understanding of life and every facet of self.

“Thank you.” I offered her a small smile. She squeezed our joined hands once before releasing me. I was expecting the blanket of comfort t
o
leave me raw the moment she pulled away, but alas it didn’t.

“They are near,” she stated. I knew she was talking about my friends, my lover
;
my family. “Take your time Lexi. Do not make haste when your inside is not prepared for the physical fight.”

I heard them round the final corner;
the
grumbling
of Kai, Kalel and Kellan
carr
ied
into the shop
.
I stood and extended my hand. “Thank you so much. I don’t know how you knew I needed you, but I really appreciate it nonetheless.”

She reached into a hidden pocket within her dress and handed me a card. “This will tell you how to reach me should you ever need me, although I’m already attuned to you.” I took the card, flipped it backwards and forwards, confusion settling into the creases on my forehead. It was a blank white business card. “When you truly need me, the words will reveal themselves. Until then, rely on your own inner strength that we both know is there.”

I didn’t know whether I wanted to hug her or hate her for her confidence in me. It was unnerving, yet empowering at the same time.

I tucked the business card in my pant pockets right as the guys burst through the shop door, all narrowed eyes passing between me and Imara. I cleared my throat, turning back to Imara. “Thanks again.”

I walked straight up to the guys, grabbed Kai and Kellan’s hands a
nd dragged them out of the shop knowing the others would follow suit.
“We need to talk,” I blurted the second we were a good fifty feet from Imara’s business.

“Let’s head back to the hotel to avoid eavesdroppers,” Kai suggested. I nodded in agreement, allowing them to lead the way. I didn’t even recall how I’d gotten to Imara’s; my mind was so preoccupied that I couldn’t find my way back if my life depended on it. Ok, so technically I could follow
the
lingering scent
of the pub off in the distance
, but that would only take me back to the restaurant.

~~~

We all gathered in Kalel’s room. He and Al made quick work of their surveillance systems while Will took over the desk, his papers
covering every possible square centimeter
of it. He was still engrossed in his notes.

Aunt Claire placed a gentle hand on my left shoulder, slinking her
arm
around me. “I love you Lexi, but we need to nip this thing in the bud. I can’t lose you.”

“I know,” I nodded.

I sat down on the bed beside Craig. He nudged me, a wide grin on his face; he was always breaking the tension. I took a deep breath, looking around at the firing squad. Slowly they gave me their attention, but their arms were folded protectively over their chests. I had a lot of explaining to do.

“What gives Lex? We’ve all sacrificed a lot to be here. I don’t even want to talk about what we’ve lost since we arrived. You owe us an explanation at the very least,” Gabi said,
no cajoling whimsy in her tone. I couldn’t blame their attitude, especially her
s
. I could
n’t say I’d
have
be
en
as forgiving as her if I’d lost Kellan in a battle that wasn’t even ours.

“I owe you guys a lot. I messed up; I’ve continually messed up. I thought I was protecting you by keeping certain things from you, but I’ve only made things worse. Please don’t take this the wrong way because I appreciate you all so much, but I feel this huge pressure because you all are here. I…” I sighed, trying to find the right words to express myself. “It’s like I have all these kids to watch and protect when it would be so much easier just looking out for myself.”

“You’ve got to be shitting me. How about you count how many times we’ve saved your ass while you climb down off your high horse,” she ordered, disdain oozing from her.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. We’re all on edge right now and I just feel more pressure with you all around. I know you mean well, and admittedly you have helped me out a lot. I can’t change the way I feel though.” I fiddled with my hands, staring down at my fingers twisting and untwisting around each other.

“So you want us to leave?” Kalel asked. I swallowed the hard lump that appeared out of nowhere in my throat.

“I would feel better if you did.” My voice was barely above a whisper, but I knew they’d heard every word.

“Well tough. You may not want us here Leka, but we know you need us here.
Ohana
sticks by each other through good times and bad; through good decisions and bad decisions. Now why don’t you tell us what we’ve all apparently missed so we don’t have to constantly be watching our backs for more than ninja assassins and random bite
s
in public
?
” Heat colored my cheeks. My eyes glanced across the room at Kellan. I relaxed just a bit when his eyes softened at meeting mine. It me
ant while he was mad, he wasn’t going to punish me more than I’d already punished myself.

I felt bad. I wasn’t without guilt over everything. I wasn’t ungrateful for all they’d sacrificed and done for me. Truthfully, I felt like they were running this mission more than me. This mission would be completely different without them. I couldn’t even say that I’d be alive right now if it wasn’t for them.

With my tail between my legs, I shared everything with them. No secrets. I didn’t even ask John, the newcomer, to leave. If I wanted things to get better, if I wanted to be able to focus on more than this constructed wall between myself and the others, I had to give a little, take the risk and expose the most vulnerable parts of me. Perhaps they had something to offer, but at the least they would be better equipped to help me in this mission.

“Hoppin poppin
buppin
puffs,” Craig
sai
d once I finished telling them about Imara, Sir Staten and my overall mental
debates. It came out more as a surprised sigh
;
like a ‘
A
nd I thought I had problems’ statement.

I hated to admit it, but I felt much better letting everything out. I felt free, as if part of the burden had lifted off of me.
Slowly my confidence began to build as I met the nonjudgmental eyes of my supporters. Even as I looked around the room, the connection was slowly forging. I was regaining my footing, being reminded of why I pursued this mission. Whether home or abroad, these people were at risk because they
were
associated with me. Whether they were here or not, their necks were on the line too. Jack had no mercy, as he’d shown with Rafi. And it was about time I used that as my leverage, rather than my enabling fear.

“It’s good to have you back girl,” Gabi beamed, yanking me into a bear hug. I laughed, falling into her embrace.

“Do you want us to test your blood?” Kalel asked. “We can tell you exactly what he gave you.”

“Thanks, but no thanks. I expect people to trust me, but I realized that I hadn’t been so trusting of them. He clearly didn’t want to hurt me, or he could have. I’m going to leave well enough alone and let destiny run its course.” He nodded.

“Clearly you’ve covered more ground than we originally believed,” Will stated, notebook in hand. “You’re ahead of schedule according to my timeline.”

“When will I get to actually see this timeline?”

“Never!” Aunt Claire declared. “You’re not supposed to honey. It’
ll
really loosen a few screws in your head if you did. You’re just going to have to follow through on your promise and start to trust us.”

“What’s next then?” Gabi a
sked, wrapping her
arm
around my waist and pulling us hip to hip. She frowned down at where we were touching. “On second thought, let me not stand next to you. I’d rather not be the fat person on the fat versus skinny comparison chart.”

“Oh hush!” I threw my arm around her waist, holding her to me.

“Well, on the upside, I can eat my weight in depression over Rafi and not gain anymore weight.”
She tried to smile, but it was forced.

“I’m really sorry Gab.”

“It’s not your fault,” she shrugged.

“I feel like it is.”

“Well, you did give him permission to haunt you if he lost his life while on this mission. Knowing him, he’s probably going to be having a little after life fun with you. He was always the last one suspected, but the first one to cause mischief if you really knew him.” This time the smile was genuine though it still didn’t touch her eyes.

“Have at it Rafi,” I chuckled.

“We probably shouldn’t exchange blood anytime soon until we know what
he
gave you,” Kellan said.

“That would probably be best,” Al agreed. I felt myself blush slightly at announcing the romantic exclusion to the group.

“He probably just had her bite him so he could track her. Now that his blood’s in her system, he can track her anywhere in the world. It was one of his known abilities,” Will offered absently, his nose in the binder in front of him.

“Can’t you always track someone once they’ve had your blood?”

“No. Having them take your blood only changes their pheromones for a short time. Actually exchanging blood back and forth is the only permanent way to track someone, but even that’s not guaranteed since they’d have to be within a certain mile radius,” Al explained.