7 Years Bad Sex (31 page)

Alex exhaled slowly. ‘Nothing. As in, I don’t want any of it to go away.’

‘Me neither. But on the other hand, the whole point of separating is that we could both potentially find new partners. For, you know… having sex… making babies.’

‘I don’t know. I get your point, but I still love you. I can’t switch that off.’

‘Me neither,’ Casey echoed Alex’s earlier response.

‘So why do it?’

‘Alex, we’re going round in circles. We’ve got to do
something
. We can’t stay in this limbo for the rest of our lives.’

‘Or for the next six years or so,’ Alex muttered.

‘Or for the next six years or so,’ Casey agreed. ‘If one were to believe in curses, which, of course, we don’t.’

‘You’re right.’

‘Of course I’m right.’

Alex nodded. ‘You usually are. But how
do
you see it working? Say we annul. Then what?’

‘I say—I say we carry on as normal—live together, work together, shop together—but without the… the
pressure
. And we’ll see what happens. Maybe one of us will meet someone else. Maybe miracles will happen. Who knows? But I think it’s really important to get us out of this deadlock.’

‘Or wedlock, as the case may be.’

Casey giggled. ‘Now you’re getting there.’

‘I’m not sure I am, but it seems to make a strange kind of sense, as you say. Besides, it’s the final frontier, the last thing we haven’t tried.’

Casey swallowed. ‘You wanna do it?’

‘Why not?’ Alex sat up straighter. ‘What’ve we got to lose? It’s only another set of forms and a bit of money. And if we don’t like being annulled either, we can always remarry.’

‘
Again
.’ Casey chortled some more.

‘We should commission someone to write our story!’ Alex laughed. ‘But joking apart, why not? I think maybe I’m starting to get it. A clean slate, a fresh start. Yeah. Let’s do it.’

‘You sure? I don’t want to talk you into anything you’re not comfortable with.’

Alex nodded. ‘Don’t go backtracking on me now, or we’ll be doing this dance for days, weeks to come. Go on, let’s have those forms. Might as well get on with them.’

‘What, now?
Here?
’

‘No time like the present.’

‘You’re not bluffing?’

‘I’m not bluffing. Let’s go for it.’

Casey shook her head. ‘I feel like I’ve been on a loop-the-loop. I don’t know if I’m up or down.’

‘Oh, definitely up. Come on. I’m totally into this now. Things can
only
get better. They certainly can’t get any worse. And we’re still friends, whatever happens. Isn’t that what you said?’

‘Well, yeah. Absolutely.’ Casey was taken aback by the speed of events. Even though she had brought along the relevant paperwork, she had never considered completing it right away. She had anticipated a few days’ deliberation time, maybe more meetings…

‘Are you still staying at Myles’s place?’ she burst out a propos of nothing.

‘I was, but I’m—I’d like to come home now and sleep in my own bed. With you, if that’s okay. What about you?’

‘Me too. I miss our place. And—and your company.’

‘So here’s the ultimate in dramatic irony. Let’s fill in the paperwork to get split up and then promptly move back in together. What do you think?’ Alex’s eyes sparkled with mischief. ‘No strings, obviously. We’ll soon be annulled, so we’ll have to keep it nice and innocent.’

‘Is that a promise or a threat?’

‘Both.’

‘Whatever. Here goes: Do you want to be petitioner or respondent?’

‘I don’t mind. Who fills in the first form again?’

‘The petitioner.’

‘Then that’s what I’ll be.’

‘Alex?’

‘Casey?’

‘You know you’re my best friend?’

‘And your soulmate, I hope.’

‘And my soulmate.’

‘Ditto.’ Alex smiled a wide, genuine smile of affection. ‘I’ll have you know, I wouldn’t do this with anyone else but you.’

‘Same here.’ Casey smiled back. Suddenly she felt light as a feather, carefree, and full of optimism. She wasn’t sure whether anyone outside of their relationship could even begin to comprehend the extraordinary logic of their decision, but she didn’t care. They had been through too much to give a hoot about logic and reason. Going with what felt right was the only thing that remained. And annulling their marriage to rescue their relationship—whether that would be a platonic romance or an unromantic friendship—seemed like the sanest course of action.

‘Right. So. Petition of Nullity…’ she began to read out for both their benefit.

 

~Alex~

 

‘This is it, then.’ Alex licked the envelope and sealed it tight shut. He leaned against the post box and waved the letter in Casey’s face. He had laughed at her for keeping it unsealed until the last moment, but now he couldn’t get himself to put it in the box.

‘It is.’ Casey grinned. ‘Are you going to post the letter, or are we going to stand here for a while?’

‘Let’s do it together.’ Alex picked up Casey’s hand, and they jointly clasped the fateful envelope. ‘Here goes.’

‘Farewell, decree nisi!’ Casey shouted as they pushed the envelope through the slot at last. They listened in reverential silence for the soft ‘pfft’ of their precious missive landing on a pile of other letters, and the deed was done. Literally.

‘Almost there,’ Alex cheered. ‘This is totally unreal.’

‘It’s amazing what you can achieve in two weeks,’ Casey agreed. ‘Thanks to Sasha’s advice, everything has gone incredibly smoothly.’

‘Who’d have thought it would be such a relief to get this marriage undone?’ Alex mused. ‘I feel like a weight has been lifted. What shall we do next?’

‘We should celebrate,’ Casey suggested. ‘Let’s see our marriage out in style.’

‘Great idea. What did you have in mind?’

‘Nothing in particular. You?’

‘Nope.’ Alex shrugged. ‘Here, give me a hug. I’m happy, but I’m also ever so slightly bereft.’ He wrapped his arms around Casey and held her tightly. Her hair smelled faintly of almonds, and he breathed in deeply. Casey rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes.

‘You’ve a nice body,’ she murmured.

Alex guffawed. ‘Don’t go there,’ he warned. ‘Slippery slope and all that.’

‘I know!’ Casey suddenly straightened up. The top of her head connected with his chin and nearly knocked out a few teeth.

‘Oouff,’ Alex exclaimed. ‘Wow. Now that she’s nearly no longer my wife, she’s beating me up.’

‘Sorry!’ Casey jumped up and down. ‘But I had the best idea. Let’s go to Paris.’

‘To Paris? What, now?’

‘Yeah. Why not? Let’s take the Eurostar and have an adventure. I feel this marriage should end where it started—in France.’

‘Okay.’ Alex sounded a little doubtful. ‘But we haven’t packed anything. We haven’t even got our passports.’

‘Don’t we?’ Casey grinned. She dug around in her handbag and waved two aubergine-coloured booklets at him. ‘Or do we? I brought them along in case we needed them after the nisi.’

‘What a coincidence.’ Alex smirked. He didn’t believe a word of what Casey was saying. ‘Isn’t it lovely to have a wife—sorry,
a friend
—who’s so well prepared?’

Casey elbowed him in the ribs. ‘I’m innocent, I swear. I really took them only in case.’

Alex chortled. ‘So you want to go to Paris right now?’

‘Absolutely. Let’s do something completely crazy.’

Alex nodded. ‘Okay.’

‘Okay?’ Casey squealed with excitement. ‘Really?’

‘Really. Come on, let’s get to St Pancras.’

Alex felt electrified by the very idea of doing something so outrageous. Waiting for their annulment to be finalised, they would elope to the most romantic city in the world. This about summed up their relationship.

His body tingled all over with unexpected anticipation. Of course, there was nothing
to
anticipate, but Alex relished the thrill, the freedom, the fun.
Paris, watch out,
he thought.

 

~Casey~

 

Awesome
. Casey sat on the train and couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. She had absolutely no clue where her mad idea had come from. The passports had made it into her bag this morning on a real whim. There was no premeditation, yet she and Alex seemed to be following their fate, their destiny. It was only a short hop to Paris, and they would find themselves a fancy hotel and dine royally in honour of their annulment.

‘You okay?’ Alex cut into her thoughts. ‘You look like the cat that could have the cream if only she were daring enough to take it.’

Ha!
Casey swallowed.
If only he knew!
The scent of Alex’s aftershave kept wafting up her nose, and she had a hard time keeping her hands to herself. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been so attracted to him. Which was really, really weird. Her body was responding to his on an almost primal level. Her boobs were tender, her ovaries were beside themselves with excitement, and her nipples were chafing against her bra. She was having first date nerves. She could only hope that he didn’t pick up on her involuntary signals.

‘I’m good,’ she finally squawked. ‘This is so exciting. Naughty, somehow.’

‘I know what you mean. And we don’t even know where we’re going to stay tonight.’

‘Paris is full of hotels. We’ll find somewhere,’ Casey predicted.

Alex sighed and leaned his head back against the seat. ‘We could always do some Christmas shopping, too. I’m totally not organised.’

‘We could,’ Casey agreed. ‘It’s only a week to go. What do you want for Christmas?’

‘You,’ Alex blurted out. Casey did a double take, unsure whether she heard correctly. Alex turned bright red and shook his head. ‘Sorry. No idea where that came from. Ignore me.’

Casey smiled. ‘Well, you got me, in a manner of speaking. Anything else?’

‘Oh, you know. The usual. Music. Coffee makers. A Ferrari, maybe.’

‘Of course. Me, I’ll have a necklace from Tiffany’s and a trip up the Empire State Building.’

‘Perfect.’ Alex nodded. ‘Although I’m not sure we can do the Empire State Building in Paris. We might have to make do with the Eiffel Tower.’

Casey’s eyes lit up. ‘Oh, can we? That would be wonderful.’

‘Let’s see if we can fit it in.’ Alex leaned forward, and their hands brushed against each other. An electric current shot up Casey’s arm and straight to her brain. For a moment, she had to close her eyes and hold her breath lest she moaned with desire.
What the
hell
was going on?

 

~Alex~

 

She felt it too. Alex was certain of it. When their hands touched, he thought he would pass out with shock.
What was going on with all those subtle, subliminal signals?
They were behaving like first-daters. It was ridiculous. They had known each other for years. They had just got
annulled
, for crying out loud. He breathed in and out and tried to calm down.